How how how...... Do I stay mad at Albie when..

Stitchthestitch

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Albie - Pineapple Green Cheek Conure - Hatch date 14 Dec 2019 - Gotcha date - 4 March 2020
He bites me, then immediately after kisses me and say gentle??? How???

He was being a bit rough with preening my nails and he got his usual 3 warnings before time out.

I'm loving his kisses and his talking (still can't believe he said gentle!!) and I don't want to associate time outs with either of those but I don't want to reward it either when he just bit me!

With him saying gentle immediately after the bite and kiss how do I deal with this?

As adorable as it is, I don't want to deal with this leval of manipulation! Because he knows what he did was not acceptable!

Please help?
 

fiddlejen

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Sunny the Sun Conure (sept '18, gotcha 3/'19). Mr Jefferson Budgie & Mrs Calliope Budgie (albino) (nov'18 & jan'19). Summer 2021 Baby Budgies: Riker (Green); Patchouli, Keye, & Tiny (blue greywings).
So... first, you are not supposed to "stay mad," because you are not supposed to get mad in the first place.

Second. He is having fun training you! You have learned a new word, "Gentle," which you are producing upon his command. So he is rewarding you with kisses and with the word, even cuing you with the word if you didn't say it quickly enough.... and, what is the Command he is using to get you to produce this word? Yep, you got it...

So don't think of it in terms of angry, or reward or punishment (aka time-out). Think about how other birds respond to each other. So you Do want to respond when he is chewing you too hard. But Not like an angry person. Instead, like an annoyed bird.

He chews too hard, you twitch your hand away - slightly - while saying "gentle," and let him try again... the second time, moreso etc. So, he's enjoying chewing your hand; he chews too hard, the hand is gone.

Which indeed may be exactly what you're doing. But I don't know how long your "time out" is. Really it should only be just long enough for him to know he hurt you.

Also your tone of voice. Not lilke you don't care, but Not like an angry or upset person. More like an annoyed bird. First offense - "Chirp Chirp!" Second - "Hey! CHirpITY CHirp!" Third offense, as the hand is withdrawn entirely, with a tone like a scolding, annoyed Bird: "CHIP! Chirpity chirpchirp chirpity Chirp chirp!. .!." (This will be you explaining that, "Hey Be Gentle, that hurt, I did not like that," as you remove your hand.)

Facial expressions should be in line with your human equivalent of those levels of birdie-hurt. A sad, "why did you hurt me," look should go along with the removal-of-hand level. Don't hold it very long at all - let him apologize. As long as HIS words and kisses can be equivalent to an apology, then it's okay he's got the idea.

.... And... in explaining my thoughts I have written authoritatively. Which is not how I mean it at all, just attempting to convey my general idea. Since it is mostly based off my experience with my own very gentle bird, I don't know how on- or off-target my thoughts are to your own bird. Ymmv! :)
 

T00tsyd

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May 8, 2017
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Green cheek conure - Sydney (Syd) Hatched 2/2017
He bites me, then immediately after kisses me and say gentle??? How???

He was being a bit rough with preening my nails and he got his usual 3 warnings before time out.

I'm loving his kisses and his talking (still can't believe he said gentle!!) and I don't want to associate time outs with either of those but I don't want to reward it either when he just bit me!

With him saying gentle immediately after the bite and kiss how do I deal with this?

As adorable as it is, I don't want to deal with this leval of manipulation! Because he knows what he did was not acceptable!

Please help?

Classic. Syd and I still have the conversation which goes -
Ow you hurt me!
Good boy
No naughty boy - say sorry
Good boy
No biting - say sorry
Good boy!
Silence.............
I'm sorry baby :07:
I crumple.

Luckily these days he doesn't draw blood any longer so he has learned that much, but every now and then he forgets how fragile I am. While we have the above conversation I usually put him away from me since like most GCC's he tends to be a velcro bird and he knows that until he says 'sorry' he is not welcome back and even then with some reservations.

I have learned patience and perseverance are the most effective weapons. He does know my 'firm' voice and has been known to scuttle away when I use it and will stay at some distance until he is sure that I have returned to normal. It doesn't take many seconds and he will clamber back telling me what a good boy he is all the way. I guess that over the three years we have house shared he has learned that I am not a parrot and I have learned that he is not human and we rub along effectively as a result.

3 strikes? No not for me. He bites too hard once and there are repercussions. I am not sure that Syd would understand the logic of 3 strikes. A bite is a bite.
 
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Stitchthestitch

Stitchthestitch

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Mad is the wrong word. I don't get mad and stay mad with him over anything.

With albie he usually eases up the pressure after 1 warning but it's what works for me and him, because it's never really hard bites, just a bit too much pressure for it to be comfortable on my nails if that makes sense? He does get put in immediate time out for a hard bite though.

I probably didn't explain my self very well. I found it very amusing when he did it and I tried really hard to remain no reactive but it's so hard when he's on his back in my hand and he cocks his head to one side kisses me and then says gentle. Because I know with albie the more he elicits a fun reaction out of us the more he does it.

I will try your suggestion fiddlejen and see if we can get him a way from the biting and then kissing with gentle.
 
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Stitchthestitch

Stitchthestitch

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Parrot of the Month 🏆
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Albie - Pineapple Green Cheek Conure - Hatch date 14 Dec 2019 - Gotcha date - 4 March 2020
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Fiddlejen, I just read to my hubby your reply, and his face was hilarious! He was like "we are being trained by him? It should be the other way round!" he found it funny.
 

AmyMyBlueFront

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Jonesy a Goffins 'Too who had to be rehomed :-(

And a Normal Grey Cockatiel named BB who came home with me on 5/20/2016.
He bites me, then immediately after kisses me and say gentle??? How???

He was being a bit rough with preening my nails and he got his usual 3 warnings before time out.

I'm loving his kisses and his talking (still can't believe he said gentle!!) and I don't want to associate time outs with either of those but I don't want to reward it either when he just bit me!

With him saying gentle immediately after the bite and kiss how do I deal with this?

As adorable as it is, I don't want to deal with this leval of manipulation! Because he knows what he did was not acceptable!

Please help?

Smokey would chomp me from time to time pretty hard then say "Ouch?"...I just stared back at her...:15:


Jim
 

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