Sunday after eight years she's gone. Vet warned us to expect half lifespan for a GCC due to inbred/congenital heart issues. Didn't even get that. Normal day. Grooming day. I stopped doing it myself so that she would go through less stress and it may be "faster" for her. I really thought it would be better for her. Same bird groomer as always, macleod parrot sanctuary. Passed so quickly and instantly during them filing her nails. Shoved her in my arms and said start doing CPR and go to the vet hospital now. I said I can't hear her (usually extremely loud) heart. They said it's fine she's probably okay. It was too late but I did CPR on my bird the whole drive and cried. Just gone like it was nothing. Her eyes were wrong. She was just a baby. I should have known better. It's my fault for taking her there. I should have known better. I knew an elderly bird that passed the day after a groom once. I should have known. My baby is gone. I hate myself. Everything hurts. I don't know who I am without her. I didn't get a necropsy and maybe I should have. If they cut her open and said they found nothing or that it was something preventable that I should have noticed I couldn't take it. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. If I had her at the vet groomed maybe they'd save her. I'm so lazy. I'm so disgusting. I want my child back.