I think I messed up :(

Tapew0rrm

Member
Nov 9, 2022
18
27
Lincolnshire
Parrots
Black Capped Conure
So, I followed the advice of taking the toys that Arrow has with bells on out of his cage and replacing them with foraging ones, but in doing that, he's became very territorial of his cage. Last night, I went slightly close to him while he was out and he tried to bite me. I'm used to him being bitey when I take his food/water, but now he won't even let me go near his cage without trying to bite me- I haven't even been able to open his cage this morning for his normal "hang out on the front perch while enjoying the morning" ritual he has, because he HATES me touching it and just wanted to bite me. :(

I know I lost his trust, and I need to work really slowly on rebuilding it, but I'm so upset over it because yesterday we had such a nice moment where he was 1000% up for some one on one training together, and then he fell asleep sitting in front of me for a while before we spent some time just chilling out together. He even stepped up for me (without prompt, I was just offering him seed and he chose to eat it while sitting on my hand) which he doesn't normally do!!! And hung out on my laptop watching me play my game! He even asked for scritches, which I gave but very cautiously.

Now I feel like I've completely ruined all the progress we'd made and I'm not sure what to do now. How do I make him trust me again? He's currently showinig signs of feeling threatened and really angry I have no idea how to help him calm down. I'm trying to give him space but it's like,,its not enough. I feel like crying. :(
 

Cottonoid

Supporting Member
Parrot of the Month 🏆
Feb 20, 2022
3,131
10,896
Don't worry, this will be just a blip in the overall trust bank the two of you develop over time.

I did the same thing with Cotton my ringneck and he went from being out happily exploring all day to sitting in his cage just watching me :( I understand exactly how you feel right now! I did cry!

But I apologized to Cotton for making too many changes at once, and told him I was just trying to rearrange things to be better for him, and he came back around to exploring and being his happy self again in a few days (maybe a week, he's a stubborn sort!)

You'll get back there too, just be patient with each other. And now you know his limit for changes all at once, so if you do change his cage around once or twice a year you'll know that his being upset for a little while is normal for him and it will be ok ❤️
 
OP
Tapew0rrm

Tapew0rrm

Member
Nov 9, 2022
18
27
Lincolnshire
Parrots
Black Capped Conure
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #3
Don't worry, this will be just a blip in the overall trust bank the two of you develop over time.

I did the same thing with Cotton my ringneck and he went from being out happily exploring all day to sitting in his cage just watching me :( I understand exactly how you feel right now! I did cry!

But I apologized to Cotton for making too many changes at once, and told him I was just trying to rearrange things to be better for him, and he came back around to exploring and being his happy self again in a few days (maybe a week, he's a stubborn sort!)

You'll get back there too, just be patient with each other. And now you know his limit for changes all at once, so if you do change his cage around once or twice a year you'll know that his being upset for a little while is normal for him and it will be ok ❤️
Thank you so much for the help, I really appreciate it <3
I'm hoping he'll calm down soon, for now I'm respecting his boundaries and being even more watchful for his moods. I'm so scared I'm gonna do something that makes him hate me forever :(
But we've only been together for a week, I gotta remember bonds take a long time to create, and I gotta be patient with it. I'm mostly just worried I won't be able to clean his cage or toys because he doesn't want me near them. :(
 

HeatherG

Well-known member
Apr 25, 2020
3,893
6,966
Your bird may be freaked out by all the change and not really mad at you: you are the one that has to deal with his upset, though. I think he will get over it and hopefully won’t overbond to his new toys.

Any day now I will be getting a JollyBall dog or horse toy (giant ball with holes in it) to use as a nest/ toy for Willow. And I’m pretty sure he’s going to be scared of it and mad at it and me for a while. But I hope eventually it will be a piece of cage furniture that he will enjoy.
 

wrench13

Moderator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Parrot of the Month 🏆
Nov 22, 2015
11,461
Media
14
Albums
2
12,697
Isle of Long, NY
Parrots
Yellow Shoulder Amazon, Salty
I think you'll be OK. Just suck up to him, offer lots of treats and explain yourself. Yes, they get the gist of apologies. I do it all the time W/ Salty.
 
OP
Tapew0rrm

Tapew0rrm

Member
Nov 9, 2022
18
27
Lincolnshire
Parrots
Black Capped Conure
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #6
Your bird may be freaked out by all the change and not really mad at you: you are the one that has to deal with his upset, though. I think he will get over it and hopefully won’t overbond to his new toys.

Any day now I will be getting a JollyBall dog or horse toy (giant ball with holes in it) to use as a nest/ toy for Willow. And I’m pretty sure he’s going to be scared of it and mad at it and me for a while. But I hope eventually it will be a piece of cage furniture that he will enjoy.

I think you're right. I just ordered him a bigger cage and I feel he's going to absolutely resent me for like, a week or so for it before fully appreciating it 😂😅

I really hope your Willow enjoys their new toy too, feel free to give updates on how long it takes for them to get used to it, haha.
 
OP
Tapew0rrm

Tapew0rrm

Member
Nov 9, 2022
18
27
Lincolnshire
Parrots
Black Capped Conure
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #7
I think you'll be OK. Just suck up to him, offer lots of treats and explain yourself. Yes, they get the gist of apologies. I do it all the time W/ Salty.

Thankfully he loves his treats so he is never angry for too long. I just have to respect the best I can that he does not like me near his cage atm and hopefully he'll forgive me for having to change his food xD he hates it so much.
 

goalerjones

Well-known member
Oct 24, 2011
1,402
46
Parrots
Hahn's macaw, RIP George, Jenday Conure
trust waxes and wanes with our fids. Getting to know each other takes time. I follow a trainer on Instagram, Avian Behavior International, and she's good about reminding us that each day we learn to read and guide even thru the negative interactions.
 

Most Reactions

Latest posts

Top