Lost my best friend and I'm devestated.

Wickee

New member
Dec 10, 2021
1
24
Parrots
African Cape
20170609_083653.jpgI had to move from California to North Carolina without a lot of notice and I was going to have to be staying with my Sister and Brother in Law. My 15 year old Cape Parrot always had his wings trimmed but my sister has a cat and I was concerned about his flying ability being crippled in a home with a cat. I was trying to cover every precaution. The plan was I would be staying there for a couple of months than moving on to Florida. On the day I left California I bought a brand new Avian Adventure portable cage so he could have a comfortable cage on the trip. After 5 days on the road we arrived in North Carolina. My sister and my brother in law were waiting in the driveway as I pulled up. My bird was sitting on top of the cage and i put him inside. Said my hello's and said I wanted to put the bird inside before I got my other pets out of the car. I carried the portable cage to the front door and set it down to open the door. When I set it down the pin that holds the door closed along with the spring literally popped out and the entire locking device fell apart at once popping the door open loudly in the proccess. My bird got spooked and flew out of the cage across the street and about 75 feet into a group of trees on the edge of a heavily wooded area. That was the last time I saw him. I put flyers up, I posted everywhere. He is gone.

I'm having trouble coping with this because aside from the fact that I'm a single veteran with ptsd, and my parrot has been my ONLY companion for the past 15 years. I cannot stop blaming myself. I know he's dead. There is no way he could survive in the wild more than a day or two and by the third day the temperatures were in the 30's. I just keep reliving knowing he was alone and terrified until the end where he likely starved to death or was killed by a predator or the elements. I know he was crying out for help and waiting for me to come get him. I'm sorry if this sounds morbid but it's the reality of what likely happened and it's tearing me up inside. I'm not sure what the point of even talking about this is but I sob for hours almost every day and it's been a month. I know it will get better but I don't think I'm ever going to be able to come to terms with now knowing what happened while somewhat knowing what likely happened. My family tries to be supportive with "I know what it's like to lose a pet" referring to my brother's dog they had to put to sleep when he got sick. That was devestating but there was closure and his dog lived a full life. My bird's life was mostly snuffed out at a young age and not in a nice manner.

He was supposed to be with me until the end. I'm almost 60 so I was expecting that he would outlive me. People tell me to have hope and that he may have been found or survived but I know that would be a million to one shot. I also keep some reptiles as a hobby but my little man was like my child. I can't even imagine my future without him. I cannot get another bird and I can't even walk down an aisle in a pet shop with bird supplies without breaking down into tears. There is not much else to say and I'm not sure if writing all of this is going to buy me some closure but I doubt it. Perhaps I'm over emotional but I just go back to if only I had kept his wings clipped or stuck with the first cage I had. I would still have my baby. I miss him so much every minute of day. The pain is unbearable and I barely have any interest in my other pets to the point that I 'm thinking of just getting rid of them.

Ironically just weeks before I left someone showed up at my front door asking if I had seen her African Gray that flew out of her window. She lived up the street. I had not and explained I had a bird and knew the aunguish she must be feeling. When she left I broke down in tears knowing how devestated she must be and reflecting on how glad I was that my little guy was safe and sound. I even went out that night and walked around looking for her bird but we had no luck. I guess that's all. Sorry this is so long but I'm hoping that writing it all down will help me process some of this and move on but i don't think I'm ever going to get over this. Goodbye Wickee, I miss you so much. I would give anything and everything I have to get you back.
 
Last edited:

LaManuka

Supporting Member
Aug 29, 2018
22,535
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26
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Queensland, Australia
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Fang (11yo (ab)normal grey cockatiel), Valentino (budgie, gotcha date 14 Feb 2019 at approx 6mo), Jem (cinnamon cockatiel, gotcha date 4 Mar 2022)
Wickee, welcome to the Forums, but oh my, I am so very sorry for your terrible loss.

It IS a truly devastating thing to suddenly lose a cherished companion like Wickee, when you could have expected to be together for so much longer. Many of us here have lost feather babies prematurely due to either illness or accident, and do understand only too well how you feel. I myself joined having just lost a beloved green cheeked conure named Baci (Italian for "kisses" and also the name of my favourite brand of chocolates :) ) through sudden illness that cut his life far too short. That bird rapidly became the love of my life not long after I bought him and I wept buckets of bitter tears every single day for at least a year following his loss, and probably every other day for another year after that.

You are however very much among like-minded folks here though, who do understand how very hard this is to deal with and how much it hurts. It's so very difficult to not blame ourselves while the wounds of loss are still so fresh, yet we must try to do so otherwise the "what ifs" will only torment us all the more. It was the enormous support, empathy and compassion that I found among the community here that kept me going through some very dark times, Wickee - that and a little medicinal support from my very understanding general practitioner. I hope that we can provide some help for you too.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this and I wish that my mere words could ease your grief in some small way. Time time and more time will eventually dull the sharpest edges of the pain, but even now over three years later I would still do pretty much anything to have my Baci back. I am sending much love and strength your way, Wickee, my heart truly goes out to you and I'm so glad you found us 🙏
 

Birds lover from Hawaii

Supporting Member
Parrot of the Month 🏆
Oct 8, 2021
85
Media
2
413
Honolulu Hawaii
Parrots
Senegal (RIP: 5/21/94-10/20/21)
View attachment 32965I had to move from California to North Carolina without a lot of notice and I was going to have to be staying with my Sister and Brother in Law. My 15 year old Cape Parrot always had his wings trimmed but my sister has a cat and I was concerned about his flying ability being crippled in a home with a cat. I was trying to cover every precaution. The plan was I would be staying there for a couple of months than moving on to Florida. On the day I left California I bought a brand new Avian Adventure portable cage so he could have a comfortable cage on the trip. After 5 days on the road we arrived in North Carolina. My sister and my brother in law were waiting in the driveway as I pulled up. My bird was sitting on top of the cage and i put him inside. Said my hello's and said I wanted to put the bird inside before I got my other pets out of the car. I carried the portable cage to the front door and set it down to open the door. When I set it down the pin that holds the door closed along with the spring literally popped out and the entire locking device fell apart at once popping the door open loudly in the proccess. My bird got spooked and flew out of the cage across the street and about 75 feet into a group of trees on the edge of a heavily wooded area. That was the last time I saw him. I put flyers up, I posted everywhere. He is gone.

I'm having trouble coping with this because aside from the fact that I'm a single veteran with ptsd, and my parrot has been my ONLY companion for the past 15 years. I cannot stop blaming myself. I know he's dead. There is no way he could survive in the wild more than a day or two and by the third day the temperatures were in the 30's. I just keep reliving knowing he was alone and terrified until the end where he likely starved to death or was killed by a predator or the elements. I know he was crying out for help and waiting for me to come get him. I'm sorry if this sounds morbid but it's the reality of what likely happened and it's tearing me up inside. I'm not sure what the point of even talking about this is but I sob for hours almost every day and it's been a month. I know it will get better but I don't think I'm ever going to be able to come to terms with now knowing what happened while somewhat knowing what likely happened. My family tries to be supportive with "I know what it's like to lose a pet" referring to my brother's dog they had to put to sleep when he got sick. That was devestating but there was closure and his dog lived a full life. My bird's life was mostly snuffed out at a young age and not in a nice manner.

He was supposed to be with me until the end. I'm almost 60 so I was expecting that he would outlive me. People tell me to have hope and that he may have been found or survived but I know that would be a million to one shot. I also keep some reptiles as a hobby but my little man was like my child. I can't even imagine my future without him. I cannot get another bird and I can't even walk down an aisle in a pet shop with bird supplies without breaking down into tears. There is not much else to say and I'm not sure if writing all of this is going to buy me some closure but I doubt it. Perhaps I'm over emotional but I just go back to if only I had kept his wings clipped or stuck with the first cage I had. I would still have my baby. I miss him so much every minute of day. The pain is unbearable and I barely have any interest in my other pets to the point that I 'm thinking of just getting rid of them.

Ironically just weeks before I left someone showed up at my front door asking if I had seen her African Gray that flew out of her window. She lived up the street. I had not and explained I had a bird and knew the aunguish she must be feeling. When she left I broke down in tears knowing how devestated she must be and reflecting on how glad I was that my little guy was safe and sound. I even went out that night and walked around looking for her bird but we had no luck. I guess that's all. Sorry this is so long but I'm hoping that writing it all down will help me process some of this and move on but i don't think I'm ever going to get over this. Goodbye Wickee, I miss you so much. I would give anything and everything I have to get you back.

View attachment 32965I had to move from California to North Carolina without a lot of notice and I was going to have to be staying with my Sister and Brother in Law. My 15 year old Cape Parrot always had his wings trimmed but my sister has a cat and I was concerned about his flying ability being crippled in a home with a cat. I was trying to cover every precaution. The plan was I would be staying there for a couple of months than moving on to Florida. On the day I left California I bought a brand new Avian Adventure portable cage so he could have a comfortable cage on the trip. After 5 days on the road we arrived in North Carolina. My sister and my brother in law were waiting in the driveway as I pulled up. My bird was sitting on top of the cage and i put him inside. Said my hello's and said I wanted to put the bird inside before I got my other pets out of the car. I carried the portable cage to the front door and set it down to open the door. When I set it down the pin that holds the door closed along with the spring literally popped out and the entire locking device fell apart at once popping the door open loudly in the proccess. My bird got spooked and flew out of the cage across the street and about 75 feet into a group of trees on the edge of a heavily wooded area. That was the last time I saw him. I put flyers up, I posted everywhere. He is gone.

I'm having trouble coping with this because aside from the fact that I'm a single veteran with ptsd, and my parrot has been my ONLY companion for the past 15 years. I cannot stop blaming myself. I know he's dead. There is no way he could survive in the wild more than a day or two and by the third day the temperatures were in the 30's. I just keep reliving knowing he was alone and terrified until the end where he likely starved to death or was killed by a predator or the elements. I know he was crying out for help and waiting for me to come get him. I'm sorry if this sounds morbid but it's the reality of what likely happened and it's tearing me up inside. I'm not sure what the point of even talking about this is but I sob for hours almost every day and it's been a month. I know it will get better but I don't think I'm ever going to be able to come to terms with now knowing what happened while somewhat knowing what likely happened. My family tries to be supportive with "I know what it's like to lose a pet" referring to my brother's dog they had to put to sleep when he got sick. That was devestating but there was closure and his dog lived a full life. My bird's life was mostly snuffed out at a young age and not in a nice manner.

He was supposed to be with me until the end. I'm almost 60 so I was expecting that he would outlive me. People tell me to have hope and that he may have been found or survived but I know that would be a million to one shot. I also keep some reptiles as a hobby but my little man was like my child. I can't even imagine my future without him. I cannot get another bird and I can't even walk down an aisle in a pet shop with bird supplies without breaking down into tears. There is not much else to say and I'm not sure if writing all of this is going to buy me some closure but I doubt it. Perhaps I'm over emotional but I just go back to if only I had kept his wings clipped or stuck with the first cage I had. I would still have my baby. I miss him so much every minute of day. The pain is unbearable and I barely have any interest in my other pets to the point that I 'm thinking of just getting rid of them.

Ironically just weeks before I left someone showed up at my front door asking if I had seen her African Gray that flew out of her window. She lived up the street. I had not and explained I had a bird and knew the aunguish she must be feeling. When she left I broke down in tears knowing how devestated she must be and reflecting on how glad I was that my little guy was safe and sound. I even went out that night and walked around looking for her bird but we had no luck. I guess that's all. Sorry this is so long but I'm hoping that writing it all down will help me process some of this and move on but i don't think I'm ever going to get over this. Goodbye Wickee, I miss you so much. I would give anything and everything I have to get you back.
I am so sorry for your loss! I have lost a 2 year old love bird 20+ years ago due to me forgot to close the cage door trying to let him out to catch some sun on a mid winter afternoon. I could not forgive myself as I am the one who loves him the most always reminding other family members to be extra careful and yet I was the one to lose him. The same horrible thoughts have gone through my mind that he would not simply survive.

I have recently lost my 27 year old Senegal to a serious crop infection. We have shared so many joyful moments together and I miss him so very much. I understand exactly how you feel but life must move on and we just have to learn to accept. Accidents can happen any time any day which is totally out of our control so stop blaming yourself as you have done your very best to take care of your birdie.

For the lovebird I lost, all I could do is to think positive that God have helped him to get to someone's home that he could be safe and be loved. Miracle does happen too!

Don't forget your other pets deserve your love too so divert your attention to them may help you to relieve some pain.
 

wrench13

Supporting Member
Parrot of the Month 🏆
Nov 22, 2015
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Isle of Long, NY
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Yellow Shoulder Amazon, Salty
Welcome and be welcomed, brother. First, my sincere thanks for your service. I feel our veterans can never be thanked enough for that.

Secondly, many here, including me, have experienced exactly what you are going thru. I lost my loved parrot of 6 years awhile ago and still to this day can get very choked up when I reminisce about him ( like now). And, hell, I had only a dream of loosing my current parrot, Salty. Here's what I posted, at 2:30AM:

Just woke up from a horrible dream, where Salty had flown away. In the dream it had been awhile since it happened. It seems like it was near where I work, in NYC. I was on the elevated subway station there, and someone said they had seen him. I started calling out Salty! Salty!! Salty??? And the wave of sadness washed over me.
Like a river. Man I woke up bawling my eyes out. Just inconsolable. Geri woke up and helped me get my composure back, but still....


Parrots are so unique in their ability to become a central, key part of our lives. And that was only a dream, but I can entirely empathize with how you feel. Its like loosing a family member under sad circumstances. My Dad committed suicide 5 days before Christmas, and I was the last person to talk to him. I want to tell you that time does heal, to a certain extent. When I am confronted by the memories of these events, I always try to refocus on the exceptionally positive ones I also have of them. The shared love, the warm feelings I have of them, the learning we had of each other and the things they brought to my life. Please, feel free to vent the emotions you are going through right now, without any shame or hesitation. We do understand.

Peace, brother.
 

T00tsyd

Well-known member
May 8, 2017
1,180
689
UK
Parrots
Green cheek conure - Sydney (Syd) Hatched 2/2017
Hello. I am so sorry that this has happened to you. Take heart that so many here have had similar experiences and they all understand exactly how you feel. How brave you are to come amongst strangers and let your feelings be heard, but be safe in the knowledge that no-one here will judge. It is something that we all dread and it happens in that split second when we believe that we have taken every care.
Accidents happen, you cannot blame yourself. You did everything possible to make the journey safe and to be honest it was the cage that let you down, not anything you did. I would be making a claim on the cage providers. How many more birds will be lost in the same way so perhaps you could point up the risks for others and make a positive campaign out of your tragedy and in Wickee's name.
I have always noticed that animals and birds accept the inevitable in a way that humans don't. So there is a strong possibility that Wickee did not suffer in quite the way you imagine. We tend to put human emotions onto our pets and I am convinced that they do not see life quite as we do. You write that it is a month and you may well be right that he is now flying free in parrot heaven but perhaps one more effort with flyers etc would be worth it and give you focus so that you feel you really have done everything you can to track him down. You never know he may well have flown to another human and been helped. I am not trying to give you false hope but a renewed effort might help give you reason to go on. You will be in my prayers.
 

wrench13

Supporting Member
Parrot of the Month 🏆
Nov 22, 2015
9,282
Media
12
Albums
2
6,555
Isle of Long, NY
Parrots
Yellow Shoulder Amazon, Salty
That is excellent advice!! Not only will you satisfy yourself that you have done all that can be done to retrieve Wickee, but perhaps there is a Christmas miracle brewing!
Flyers in a good amount of local areas (lamp posts, bus stops, laundromats, schools, gas stations, quickee marts, and other high traffic areas; all the veterinarians in your area are all places that might get a bite; Craigslist Pets and Lost and Found, websites like this one and Parrots911. Make sure the flyer has a good picture of Wickee and contact information, might even add a reward for the return of or information leading to the recovery of Wickee.

We actually see parrots being recovered after days, weeks . months, yes, even years on this message board. And the sooner the better, as far as posters!

Heaps of good luck to you and Wickee !!
 

Littleredbeak

Well-known member
May 27, 2020
510
585
I am so so sorry! It really does happen birds being found and surviving. I found (never was able to catch it) a budgie living with a flock of black birds (he was 20 miles from the family looking for him- I found their post on craigslist and sent a photo of the bird I saw). There is a flock if yellow headed Amazon's in Germany! Parrots are alot more resilient than we give them credit for.. The unfortunate side of things is bird prices are up and there are a ton of of bird flippers. It may help to put an award out for your parrot.. I strongly believe in keeping the faith. If you haven't, posted flyers (paper) and posting on local social media may give you some results. If I have over stepped I am sorry. I will send a prayer out to you and your bird tonight.
 

Emeral

Well-known member
Sep 16, 2021
209
624
Parrots
Hanhs Macaw
View attachment 32965I had to move from California to North Carolina without a lot of notice and I was going to have to be staying with my Sister and Brother in Law. My 15 year old Cape Parrot always had his wings trimmed but my sister has a cat and I was concerned about his flying ability being crippled in a home with a cat. I was trying to cover every precaution. The plan was I would be staying there for a couple of months than moving on to Florida. On the day I left California I bought a brand new Avian Adventure portable cage so he could have a comfortable cage on the trip. After 5 days on the road we arrived in North Carolina. My sister and my brother in law were waiting in the driveway as I pulled up. My bird was sitting on top of the cage and i put him inside. Said my hello's and said I wanted to put the bird inside before I got my other pets out of the car. I carried the portable cage to the front door and set it down to open the door. When I set it down the pin that holds the door closed along with the spring literally popped out and the entire locking device fell apart at once popping the door open loudly in the proccess. My bird got spooked and flew out of the cage across the street and about 75 feet into a group of trees on the edge of a heavily wooded area. That was the last time I saw him. I put flyers up, I posted everywhere. He is gone.

I'm having trouble coping with this because aside from the fact that I'm a single veteran with ptsd, and my parrot has been my ONLY companion for the past 15 years. I cannot stop blaming myself. I know he's dead. There is no way he could survive in the wild more than a day or two and by the third day the temperatures were in the 30's. I just keep reliving knowing he was alone and terrified until the end where he likely starved to death or was killed by a predator or the elements. I know he was crying out for help and waiting for me to come get him. I'm sorry if this sounds morbid but it's the reality of what likely happened and it's tearing me up inside. I'm not sure what the point of even talking about this is but I sob for hours almost every day and it's been a month. I know it will get better but I don't think I'm ever going to be able to come to terms with now knowing what happened while somewhat knowing what likely happened. My family tries to be supportive with "I know what it's like to lose a pet" referring to my brother's dog they had to put to sleep when he got sick. That was devestating but there was closure and his dog lived a full life. My bird's life was mostly snuffed out at a young age and not in a nice manner.

He was supposed to be with me until the end. I'm almost 60 so I was expecting that he would outlive me. People tell me to have hope and that he may have been found or survived but I know that would be a million to one shot. I also keep some reptiles as a hobby but my little man was like my child. I can't even imagine my future without him. I cannot get another bird and I can't even walk down an aisle in a pet shop with bird supplies without breaking down into tears. There is not much else to say and I'm not sure if writing all of this is going to buy me some closure but I doubt it. Perhaps I'm over emotional but I just go back to if only I had kept his wings clipped or stuck with the first cage I had. I would still have my baby. I miss him so much every minute of day. The pain is unbearable and I barely have any interest in my other pets to the point that I 'm thinking of just getting rid of them.

Ironically just weeks before I left someone showed up at my front door asking if I had seen her African Gray that flew out of her window. She lived up the street. I had not and explained I had a bird and knew the aunguish she must be feeling. When she left I broke down in tears knowing how devestated she must be and reflecting on how glad I was that my little guy was safe and sound. I even went out that night and walked around looking for her bird but we had no luck. I guess that's all. Sorry this is so long but I'm hoping that writing it all down will help me process some of this and move on but i don't think I'm ever going to get over this. Goodbye Wickee, I miss you so much. I would give anything and everything I have to get you back.
Big wing hug welcome to you and thank you for sharing your story. I must say that "locking device of a portable cage" failing on the first week of use is not acceptable. It was clearly an equipment failure which should be reported to the store and producer. I hope this will not happen again to any one. Because I can only imagine the worst if this locking device fail again with other users.

Having said that, I intend to tell you that it was not your fault. You are very kind and sensitive person. So please do not blame yourself. If I was there when the equipment failed, the same thing would have happened.

We certainly understand the pain of losing our little buddies. We have threads about our lost where we try our best to comfort one another. We also have threads about rescued birds. Now and then there are enquiries......some one found a bird on the ground.......a bird who refused to fly away..........the founders often inquire about what to do and how to care for those birds.

Could you imagine another scenario, where your baby felt very hungry, so decided to fly to a passersby person for food? And that person took him home and keep him safe? From our experience, this person would be rushing to store to buy bird supplies and reaching out to forums like ours for advices about how to take care of him. Indeed, our members thanked the persons for such rescues more often than you would imagine.


While you can not be reunite with your baby, would you be willing to think about rescuing someone's baby? Either from spotting one or perhaps from a bird's shelter?

Another point which makes survival a high possibility is about wing clipping. He may not fly as well as other indoor free flighted bird, but he fly. So he can fly away from predators. He can fly to any person, to warm places, or any where to get help.
 

Scott

Supporting Member
Aug 21, 2010
32,673
9,599
San Diego, California USA, Earth, Milky Way Galaxy
Parrots
Goffins: Gabby, Abby, Squeaky, Peanut, Popcorn / Citron: Alice / Eclectus: Angel /Timneh Grey: ET / Blue Fronted Amazon: Gonzo /

RIP Gandalf and Big Bird, you are missed.
My deepest empathies for your loss of Wickee. We embrace you as brother in mourning, veteran, kindly human remorseful for an accident. Inexplicable stories of survival abound, unimaginable reunions over the years. Sometimes all we have is hope tempered with realism. I fervently hope Wickee's loving memories sustain you while processing the inevitable gamut of emotions. May your heartfelt testimonial to Wickee prove cathartic first step on a journey of reflection and peace. Please know we are always here for you via conversation or messaging*.

*10 posts needed to message members but moderators available to fwd as needed until threshold met.
 

Plumhead44

New member
May 21, 2013
4
15
Parrots
Plumhead Parrot-Raphael "Raf"
View attachment 32965I had to move from California to North Carolina without a lot of notice and I was going to have to be staying with my Sister and Brother in Law. My 15 year old Cape Parrot always had his wings trimmed but my sister has a cat and I was concerned about his flying ability being crippled in a home with a cat. I was trying to cover every precaution. The plan was I would be staying there for a couple of months than moving on to Florida. On the day I left California I bought a brand new Avian Adventure portable cage so he could have a comfortable cage on the trip. After 5 days on the road we arrived in North Carolina. My sister and my brother in law were waiting in the driveway as I pulled up. My bird was sitting on top of the cage and i put him inside. Said my hello's and said I wanted to put the bird inside before I got my other pets out of the car. I carried the portable cage to the front door and set it down to open the door. When I set it down the pin that holds the door closed along with the spring literally popped out and the entire locking device fell apart at once popping the door open loudly in the proccess. My bird got spooked and flew out of the cage across the street and about 75 feet into a group of trees on the edge of a heavily wooded area. That was the last time I saw him. I put flyers up, I posted everywhere. He is gone.

I'm having trouble coping with this because aside from the fact that I'm a single veteran with ptsd, and my parrot has been my ONLY companion for the past 15 years. I cannot stop blaming myself. I know he's dead. There is no way he could survive in the wild more than a day or two and by the third day the temperatures were in the 30's. I just keep reliving knowing he was alone and terrified until the end where he likely starved to death or was killed by a predator or the elements. I know he was crying out for help and waiting for me to come get him. I'm sorry if this sounds morbid but it's the reality of what likely happened and it's tearing me up inside. I'm not sure what the point of even talking about this is but I sob for hours almost every day and it's been a month. I know it will get better but I don't think I'm ever going to be able to come to terms with now knowing what happened while somewhat knowing what likely happened. My family tries to be supportive with "I know what it's like to lose a pet" referring to my brother's dog they had to put to sleep when he got sick. That was devestating but there was closure and his dog lived a full life. My bird's life was mostly snuffed out at a young age and not in a nice manner.

He was supposed to be with me until the end. I'm almost 60 so I was expecting that he would outlive me. People tell me to have hope and that he may have been found or survived but I know that would be a million to one shot. I also keep some reptiles as a hobby but my little man was like my child. I can't even imagine my future without him. I cannot get another bird and I can't even walk down an aisle in a pet shop with bird supplies without breaking down into tears. There is not much else to say and I'm not sure if writing all of this is going to buy me some closure but I doubt it. Perhaps I'm over emotional but I just go back to if only I had kept his wings clipped or stuck with the first cage I had. I would still have my baby. I miss him so much every minute of day. The pain is unbearable and I barely have any interest in my other pets to the point that I 'm thinking of just getting rid of them.

Ironically just weeks before I left someone showed up at my front door asking if I had seen her African Gray that flew out of her window. She lived up the street. I had not and explained I had a bird and knew the aunguish she must be feeling. When she left I broke down in tears knowing how devestated she must be and reflecting on how glad I was that my little guy was safe and sound. I even went out that night and walked around looking for her bird but we had no luck. I guess that's all. Sorry this is so long but I'm hoping that writing it all down will help me process some of this and move on but i don't think I'm ever going to get over this. Goodbye Wickee, I miss you so much. I would give anything and everything I have to get you back.
I am so sorry for your loss! I have lost a 2 year old love bird 20+ years ago due to me forgot to close the cage door trying to let him out to catch some sun on a mid winter afternoon. I could not forgive myself as I am the one who loves him the most always reminding other family members to be extra careful and yet I was the one to lose him. The same horrible thoughts have gone through my mind that he would not simply survive.

I have recently lost my 27 year old Senegal to a serious crop infection. We have shared so many joyful moments together and I miss him so very much. I understand exactly how you feel but life must move on and we just have to learn to accept. Accidents can happen any time any day which is totally out of our control so stop blaming yourself as you have done your very best to take care of your birdie.

For the lovebird I lost, all I could do is to think positive that God have helped him to get to someone's home that he could be safe and be loved. Miracle does happen too!

Don't forget your other pets deserve your love too so divert your attention to them may help you to relieve some pain.
I am so sorry and tears steaming as I read your story. I know exactly what you’re feeling. We lost our Plumhead parrot to heaven on 12/9 after almost 15 yrs together -got him to the vet but he passed as they tried to get him oxygen. He was having some health issues we were treating with meds, but after all the years of trying to make the safest, healthiest life for our Rafael, in the end I couldn’t save him and I am heartbroken. So much to say on this subject on the keen sense of spirit and intelligence parrots have -and he was a rescue. We found him in Phoenix by a hotel pool -he was smart, knew he needed help and came to my husband and the rest is loving history of our little green boss ruling the house. But beyond us losing our babies 2 days apart -I’d say there could be hope, as we lost Rafael the first time in 2019 when my husband had him out in the garage with him in his smaller travel cage. Somehow the cage got bumped and slid off the washing machine, broke apart and out into the sunshine Rafael flew. I flew home from the hairdresser bawling my eyes out begging God to bring him back to us. We lived in a neighborhood with huge mountain pines and lo and behold we spotted him in a tree on the golf course -we called and pleaded and he called back but wouldn’t come down. He flew to another tree and we tracked him to a few trees on the block until sunset and couldn’t see or hear him anymore. It was Feb in Las Vegas -cold, windy and some rain. I stood at the window and cried for him all nite. We were out at 6:00 am the next morning searching the whole neighborhood calling, had neighbors looking, walked, drove and nothing. Went out the next morning and walked and called and whistled…lo and behold we heard him answer…after some time we spotted him (he was beautiful -small but brilliant fuschia head, bright green body, long blue tail, red spots on his wings) and again called, brought his cage and his fav treats only to have him fly off again. We didn’t know til later on that he was so high up he wasn’t experienced at flying down 30 ft from a tree-so he just kept flying from tree to tree. We lost sight of him and I thought that was it -but the ***key here is we posted a picture and description of him everywhere -Pawboost is a great sight, also it was recommended I post him on lost and also for sale on Craigslist -as if someone was trying to sell him would catch them. We also used a couple avian sight postings. We lost him on a Friday and miraculously the following Friday and a billion years later -a good man contacted us that he’d found Raf outside his office bldg about 3 miles from our house on that Monday, he was acting like he needed help and let the man scoop him up on his shoulder and he took him home. They bought him a cage and named him Skipper and his 2 kids were in love. Finally the wife said “there must be a family heartbroken looking for him”, which prompted the man to go online and he found Raf’s picture I think on Craigslist. Thankfully we met with them and we got our Rafael back. It was a horror of a time as it was the “not knowing” that was killing me and I could help him. It’s been a few days, but birds are resilient even though fragile -so urge you to not give up-try posting online to those places and perhaps you will have the good fortune we did. God allowed us 2 more years with our sweetheart who was the boss of the house for so long and the best companion. I’ll warn you we did get contacted by a couple sick people who tried to get money out of us for info -they were lying tho, so beware. I wish you the best -these sweet precious creatures are from God and Rafael lived a good life with us-traveling across country, flew first class, stayed at 5 star hotels….but he gave us way way more joy and awe then anything we provided him. Focus on the good times and the good life you all had together and as we pass thru heaven’s gates one day -they will fly to our shoulders I know. I’m so so sorry and am feeling the same pain -it’s excruciating and non-bird owners have no concept unfortunately how special birds are. Blessings and healing 🕊💙
 

LittleElf

New member
Jan 10, 2022
7
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View attachment 32965I had to move from California to North Carolina without a lot of notice and I was going to have to be staying with my Sister and Brother in Law. My 15 year old Cape Parrot always had his wings trimmed but my sister has a cat and I was concerned about his flying ability being crippled in a home with a cat. I was trying to cover every precaution. The plan was I would be staying there for a couple of months than moving on to Florida. On the day I left California I bought a brand new Avian Adventure portable cage so he could have a comfortable cage on the trip. After 5 days on the road we arrived in North Carolina. My sister and my brother in law were waiting in the driveway as I pulled up. My bird was sitting on top of the cage and i put him inside. Said my hello's and said I wanted to put the bird inside before I got my other pets out of the car. I carried the portable cage to the front door and set it down to open the door. When I set it down the pin that holds the door closed along with the spring literally popped out and the entire locking device fell apart at once popping the door open loudly in the proccess. My bird got spooked and flew out of the cage across the street and about 75 feet into a group of trees on the edge of a heavily wooded area. That was the last time I saw him. I put flyers up, I posted everywhere. He is gone.

I'm having trouble coping with this because aside from the fact that I'm a single veteran with ptsd, and my parrot has been my ONLY companion for the past 15 years. I cannot stop blaming myself. I know he's dead. There is no way he could survive in the wild more than a day or two and by the third day the temperatures were in the 30's. I just keep reliving knowing he was alone and terrified until the end where he likely starved to death or was killed by a predator or the elements. I know he was crying out for help and waiting for me to come get him. I'm sorry if this sounds morbid but it's the reality of what likely happened and it's tearing me up inside. I'm not sure what the point of even talking about this is but I sob for hours almost every day and it's been a month. I know it will get better but I don't think I'm ever going to be able to come to terms with now knowing what happened while somewhat knowing what likely happened. My family tries to be supportive with "I know what it's like to lose a pet" referring to my brother's dog they had to put to sleep when he got sick. That was devestating but there was closure and his dog lived a full life. My bird's life was mostly snuffed out at a young age and not in a nice manner.

He was supposed to be with me until the end. I'm almost 60 so I was expecting that he would outlive me. People tell me to have hope and that he may have been found or survived but I know that would be a million to one shot. I also keep some reptiles as a hobby but my little man was like my child. I can't even imagine my future without him. I cannot get another bird and I can't even walk down an aisle in a pet shop with bird supplies without breaking down into tears. There is not much else to say and I'm not sure if writing all of this is going to buy me some closure but I doubt it. Perhaps I'm over emotional but I just go back to if only I had kept his wings clipped or stuck with the first cage I had. I would still have my baby. I miss him so much every minute of day. The pain is unbearable and I barely have any interest in my other pets to the point that I 'm thinking of just getting rid of them.

Ironically just weeks before I left someone showed up at my front door asking if I had seen her African Gray that flew out of her window. She lived up the street. I had not and explained I had a bird and knew the aunguish she must be feeling. When she left I broke down in tears knowing how devestated she must be and reflecting on how glad I was that my little guy was safe and sound. I even went out that night and walked around looking for her bird but we had no luck. I guess that's all. Sorry this is so long but I'm hoping that writing it all down will help me process some of this and move on but i don't think I'm ever going to get over this. Goodbye Wickee, I miss you so much. I would give anything and everything I have to get you back.
I Know your pain so very sorry.. I'll be Praying for you God Bless.....
 

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