Lulu bird

[jessicaruns4fun]

Hi everybody,

It's with a heavy heart I have to inherit my mom's beloved CG. My mother is in hospice and can no longer give Lulu the care and love she needs and deserves. Its always been the plan when the time came I would take Lulu.

A little background about Lulu she is definitely a female, she is 21 and has been with my mom all of her life. I am her second home ever. She has been my moms baby and best friend and it's so sad for both of them.

I have had Lulu at my home for a month and we do the best we can to keep her busy and occupied with tons of activities. I do take her to visit my mom once a week and will do so until my moms last breath. When the time comes Lulu and I will mourn together and hopefully work on becoming closer friends.

All of her life she kind of has tolerated me but always associated me with my mom leaving her. I'd watch her when my mom went out of town or as she aged went into the hospital. Needless to say it seemed Lulu knew when I came and put her in her carrier it was time.

Sorry I tear up as I write this because it's a hard thing to face for both Lulu and I.

She and my OWA Shasta seem to tolerate each other Lulu kind of looks at Shasta like shes an annoying kid

 

[LaManuka]

Wow this must be such a difficult time for you, I was tearing up too as I read your post! It's nice that the hospice at least allows you to bring Lulu for a visit - she looks like a lovely girl. It's great that you can be there for Lulu and your mum, but how doubly heartbreaking for everyone! I wish you and your mum and Lulu all the very best - I think I will go and have a little weepy myself now....

 

[Inger]

Oh dear. Tearing up here too. Lulu is so lucky to have only had one home her whole life, and now that she’s with you, who she’s always known, home 1.5. And I suspect you will be thankful to have her as you grieve your mom together.

*hug*


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[Laurasea]

Awwwwe, so sad, but so much love too ..... you are easing two hearts, and taking care of two lives. All while you are greiving as well. I hope you know how strong you are. I hope you and Lulu can ease each other through this. And I hope others are in your life to help you to.

 

[Terry57]

This made me tear up as well. I am so sorry for what you & your family are going through, but what a blessing that your Mom knows that Lulu is in loving hands. I am so glad that the hospice allows visits, that must be so good for everyone. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

 

[SailBoat]

Both Lulu and you will have each other. May both of you spend as much time with your mother as possible. You will grow even closer together as you need each other even more. Remember you both will be grieving and will need to understand and support each other.

Hospice groups across North America rarely restrict access of any family member(s). The drawing together is comforting to all.

May our warm Amazon Feather Hugs and Prays bring you comfort!

 

[LeaKP]

Oh my heart goes out to you. I went through that with my brother but as with Lulu they allowed time with his pet, a Labrador. I believe Lulu will emerge as a great friend in time as you walk through this together. My heart is out to all of you now.


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[wrench13]

thanks for being the strong heart is this. m sure both Lulu and your Mom appreciate this. We are here for you.

 

[Scott]

Lulu is going to be an amazing conduit for your family during this period. Your Mom will be so comforted knowing Lulu will have a familiar and welcoming home. Sending feathered hugs to you, your Mom, and Lulu.

 

[GaleriaGila]

There is such sadness here, but also such love and strength and transcendence. I believe that you're all bound in Eternity, with dear Lulu as a worldly link. I only wish I had a young friend or family member who could offer that soft landing to the Rb if my situation were to take that direction.
Thank you for sharing.
You give us all a lot to think about, and to plan for, and to be grateful for, and to reaffirm the importance of this wonderful community.

 

[ChristaNL]

Oh my - wishing you a lot of strengt etc. in the next few years.
Losing your mum is not easy.
(lotsa hugs if you want them/ can accept them)





some bluntness/ practicality comming up (not meant to hurt feelings, on the contrary)



Lulu will not be a happy camper anytime soon I think.
Maybe you should also take her with you to say goodbye when your mum has passed , it might be what is needed-- at least she will not be looking for her for a long time. (Sorry- I feel terrible just typing this, but even animals have a vague concept of "no longer here" and I think it may make things easier for you to both be grieving and slowly healing instead of dealing with a frantic parrot that is still looking for her other person.)


Great you are both visiting.
(I cannot imagine a hospice that would deny entrance to someone so close to anyones heart)

 

[jessicaruns4fun]

Thank you everyone for your heart filled messages, Lulu and I really appreciate it.

I have to say I am really proud of Lulu, how she is handling the uprooting and big change in her life. It is absolutely amazing just how smart and intuitive she is. As my moms health declined and her skin thinned making it hard for her to hold Lulu they built their own routine and ways to spend time with each other. My mom would simply open the cage and Lulu would slide down the cage, climb the couch and sit with my mom. On these visits we lay a bed pad down and she gently snuggles my mom and is content being there for hours. When it's time to go she fusses a little but reluctantly goes into her carrier.

Hospice is absolutely amazing with making sure my mother is comfortable and happy in her last days, so they understand seeing Lulu is a must. I have also been asked when the time comes to say goodbye will I bring Lulu and I answer with a very strong "Yes". Those two have been friends for 21 years and no matter how much love and care I give Lulu I know I can never replace that. Lulu is family and she too deserves to say her goodbyes.

I just want to Thank everyone again, it means so much. It is definitely nice to have a community that understands the bond between Lulu and my Mom.

Oh and hugs and feather hugs are greatly accepted and appreciated.

 

[Anansi]

I'm so sorry that you and your mother are going through this right now. I am keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers. And as others have said, take solace in the fact that your taking Lulu undoubtedly lifts a large worry from your mom's shoulders.

And It's good that you'll be taking Lulu with you when it's time to say goodbye. As Christa mentioned, they definitely understand. I saw that with my ekkie, Maya. She got it. I could see it clearly in her body language.

Just know that we are here for you to the extent that we can be, hugs and feathered hugs alike.

 

[Davesgirl93]

So sorry for your situation, but thanks for sharing. I am facing a similar situation one day with my MIL, and your post reminds that my visits with her bird are so important before Spooky's mom needs to be away for periods of time.

 

[AmyMyBlueFront]

Smokey (TAG) was six months old when she came to live with my mom and myself. At the time I was an 0ver-the-road trucker,being out six to eight weeks at a time. Mom was retired and she basically "raised" Smokes by herself. Mom taught Smokey her very first words..'HOW ARE YOU??!" Smokey said that to mom the instant mom removed the cover from her house. Smokey spoke in mom's voice. Smokey would say "Damn Cat!!! GO!!!" to the cat,in moms tone,if the cat got too close to her house. She also said "Oh Lord" if she dropped something..all this she learned from mom. Smokey was 16 yrs old when,all of a sudden,mom wasn't there anymore

Smokey knew something was terribly wrong. For WEEKS she wouldn't come out to play.She stopped saying HOW ARE YOU?,she began to pluck (NEVER did that before) and she would just sit on her night-night perch for days on end,only to come down to eat and drink a little. I actually quit that particular job (a well paying one in fact) just to get a local job where I was home every day just to be with her.

Amy was 14 at that time. Amy was closer to me than mom however,but definitely display grief and being all to quiet. There are still times (like yesterday a matter of fact) that Amy will still call out "Ellen??...ELLEN!!!??" moms name.

Those two fid's helped me immensely in dealing with my moms passing. And I truly believe I helped them with their pain.

Smokey has since flown across Rainbow Bridge and is now with her best friend,mom and Amy is still with me,after 30 years,helping me cope with my current situation.


LuLu is going to need you just as much as you will depend on her. This will only make your bond stronger! My heart goes out to you and LuLu and all concerned.



Jim