Macaw Was Awful to Previous Owner During Visit :(

[Mom2Rain]

We have never owned a Macaw before Rain. Rain is our seven year old female Greenwing, and she's completely blind. When we took ownership of Rain, it was with the understanding that the previous owner and his family could visit her upon occasion. *Since we have had her, Rain has bonded heavily to my teenage daughter, and will usually tolerate me and my husband well enough for some head pets. We take her with us on many beach outings and such, and she has settled in nicely with our family with her own daily routine.

Yesterday was the first meeting with her previous family since she was rehomed to us in April. They drove over an hour just to visit Rain......and she was AWFUL to them. She treated them as though they were complete strangers and for the life of me, I can't understand her hostility. She was so mean to the teenage girl (whom she had previously been bonded to for years-according to the father), and bit this child hard on the hand. It will leave a mark. In addition, she refused to let the father come near her, only sat on his arm for less than an minute and would only do so after reassurance from my daughter. Nothing they did could gain her acceptance.

I felt sick. It was heartbreaking to see this play out, and I felt awful for them-especially the teen girl who is the same age as my daughter. Once they left, Rain wouldn't leave my daughter's side and was extremely clingy the rest of the day.

So here's my question: Do Macaws tend to forget people in their past, or do they harbor resentment if someone is no longer in their life? Is this typical behavior of birds of this level of intelligence? She's incredibly smart. Is this normal, or could it be that Rain has trust issues due to her blindness. I never imagined the meetup would go down this way. We thought she would be happy to be around them again. Any and all suggestions would be most welcome.

Thank you

 

[Cottonoid]

I haven't been through this with a parrot (but had a similar experience with a dog which shocked me), but I've started volunteering at a sanctuary with bigger parrots that get to know the weekly volunteers on each shift.

I absolutely believe she knows them, the same as you or I would know who they are.

Why she acted out is harder to say other than guessing, but she can't explain the same way that we can how she's feeling. Maybe the encounter simply made her feel stressed because the last time she was around all of you her life changed. Maybe it's more higher thinking than that and she couldn't quite process having all her people in the same space.

I would lean toward anxiety and heightened emotions be wise of the situation causing her to act out over feeling resentful or any hard feelings toward her previous family.

I'm so sorry though; that had to have been so hard for all of you to go through

Maybe try having them record videos for her to listen to? And explain to her before playing then that her people love her and just want to say hi, but nothing is going to change about her current life.

Many hugs to all of you - I was quite emotional after seeing my dog do this and I can only imagine how heartbroken and confused I would feel with my parrot

 

[Mom2Rain]

I haven't been through this with a parrot (but had a similar experience with a dog which shocked me), but I've started volunteering at a sanctuary with bigger parrots that get to know the weekly volunteers on each shift.

I absolutely believe she knows them, the same as you or I would know who they are.

Why she acted out is harder to say other than guessing, but she can't explain the same way that we can how she's feeling. Maybe the encounter simply made her feel stressed because the last time she was around all of you her life changed. Maybe it's more higher thinking than that and she couldn't quite process having all her people in the same space.

I would lean toward anxiety and heightened emotions be wise of the situation causing her to act out over feeling resentful or any hard feelings toward her previous family.

I'm so sorry though; that had to have been so hard for all of you to go through

Maybe try having them record videos for her to listen to? And explain to her before playing then that her people love her and just want to say hi, but nothing is going to change about her current life.

Many hugs to all of you - I was quite emotional after seeing my dog do this and I can only imagine how heartbroken and confused I would feel with my parrot

Thank you for your input. She did seem overwhelmed and a bit stressed. My daughter would be devastated if Rain treated her the way she treated this other teen. It was hard to watch. Maybe a video recording would help. We're just going to leave things alone for now. It's too fresh.

She went back to her usual loveable and hilarious ways this morning. No more clingy behavior.

 

[Cottonoid]

I've only had a parrot companion this year, but with all my previous mammal pets I've sadly found that a clean break from their former owner is usually best

I'm so glad for her sake she's back to normal! And I LOVE that she's so bonded with your daughter There's one Macaw at the sanctuary I go to and he is so delightful. I can just imagine how rewarding it is to see your daughter and Rain's relationship blossom

 

[Cottonoid]

As far as kind of processing and closing the loop on this meeting, I tend to react trying to be lighthearted with her former family - like - "wow, I guess we just don't really know what parrots are thinking all the time, do we? I know she loves you very much and we do too for your bringing her into our lives"

Again, hugs all around.

No matter what you did nothing wrong - especially given she's back to normal today.

 

[Mom2Rain]

I've only had a parrot companion this year, but with all my previous mammal pets I've sadly found that a clean break from their former owner is usually best

I'm so glad for her sake she's back to normal! And I LOVE that she's so bonded with your daughter There's one Macaw at the sanctuary I go to and he is so delightful. I can just imagine how rewarding it is to see your daughter and Rain's relationship blossom

I am going to let them contact me when they are ready to do so. Rain and my daughter are very close. The level of trust she has with my daughter is impressive as they bonded within a couple of hours, and I had been working with Rain for well over two days before she would step up without biting me.. They definitely pick their person. Good on you to volunteer at a bird sanctuary! That must be incredibly fun.

 

[Mom2Rain]

As far as kind of processing and closing the loop on this meeting, I tend to react trying to be lighthearted with her former family - like - "wow, I guess we just don't really know what parrots are thinking all the time, do we? I know she loves you very much and we do too for your bringing her into our lives"

Again, hugs all around.

No matter what you did nothing wrong - especially given she's back to normal today.

I absolutely tried to keep it light. We compared scars from "Rain Bites" on our arms and fingers. Everyone had one so there was a chuckle there.

 

[Cottonoid]

I love volunteering! They have mostly cockatoos and Amazons as you could imagine, and it's so cool to see how different each personality is. It's made me a lot more confident that I'm not ruining my bird's life - I'd only been around a very happy cockatiel before I got my ringneck

Ahhhhh your response to this whole situation just makes me love your whole family even more. I have always had a soft spot for animals with extra needs and I am just loving how Rain has found a perfect spot with you all!

 

[Mom2Rain]

I love volunteering! They have mostly cockatoos and Amazons as you could imagine, and it's so cool to see how different each personality is. It's made me a lot more confident that I'm not ruining my bird's life - I'd only been around a very happy cockatiel before I got my ringneck

Ahhhhh your response to this whole situation just makes me love your whole family even more. I have always had a soft spot for animals with extra needs and I am just loving how Rain has found a perfect spot with you all!

You are so kind. Thank you!

 

[ravvlet]

As someone who has a rehomed Amazon whose owner is still in touch, when they’ve had time to process this emotionally ask if they’d be amenable to video updates instead. I send Sammy’s former owner videos and photos whenever she texts me, which is about once a week. That way there is less confusion and opportunities for heartbreak, and they can still see their bird and know that they’re safe and happy.

Cotton is absolutely right, we can’t really know what was going on in Rain’s head, but it was likely an emotionally charged situation all around; never a good time for a highly intelligent and empathetic animal.

 

[BirdyBee]

Personally- when we rehomed our ekkie and visited him afterwards, he didn't attack us or show aggressive behavior. I think it depends on the bird.

 

[Mom2Rain]

As someone who has a rehomed Amazon whose owner is still in touch, when they’ve had time to process this emotionally ask if they’d be amenable to video updates instead. I send Sammy’s former owner videos and photos whenever she texts me, which is about once a week. That way there is less confusion and opportunities for heartbreak, and they can still see their bird and know that they’re safe and happy.

Cotton is absolutely right, we can’t really know what was going on in Rain’s head, but it was likely an emotionally charged situation all around; never a good time for a highly intelligent and empathetic animal.

I have updated him as often as he has asked via photos and our activities, and he has asked a few times. This was the first face-to-face because they missed her. You are correct...it was very emotionally charged. Maybe Rain was picking up on it. She was stressed and definitely overwhelmed. Thank you for your sensible suggestion.

 

[Mom2Rain]

Personally- when we rehomed our ekkie and visited him afterwards, he didn't attack us or show aggressive behavior. I think it depends on the bird.

I agree it depends on the bird. My only explanation is that she is completely blind? She doesn't like surprises, so who knows. She was very hostile to their voices. Maybe she was just shocked. This is now how we expected their meeting go. We actually expected Rain to be happy to hear them again. They had her the first seven years of her life. So glad your Ekkie was pleasant for you when you visited.

 

[BirdyBee]

I can imagine being blind has an impact. Since she's very cautious of her surroundings, she may have been scared of her original family. Maybe because she bonded to your family, she was scared she'll be taken back to where she came from and leave you guys behind.

I'm really sorry this had to happen. As Ravvlet said, maybe for now it's better to provide videos when they ask so they know their bird is happy and healthy.

 

[Mom2Rain]

I can imagine being blind has an impact. Since she's very cautious of her surroundings, she may have been scared of her original family. Maybe because she bonded to your family, she was scared she'll be taken back to where she came from and leave you guys behind.

I'm really sorry this had to happen. As Ravvlet said, maybe for now it's better to provide videos when they ask so they know their bird is happy and healthy.

That is good advice. I'm going to give them their space now and if they ask for another update, I will send a video. They said she looked good when they saw her. Healthy feathers and such. She's very loved over here. Thank you for contributing.

 

[kme3388]

I’ve noticed that some birds play favorites, and aren’t shy about it. They bond to one person, and that person is their everything. Everyone else is just there, and at times they will even attack others. If your macaw sees your daughter as their mate, and has bonded in that way it could be that she became possessive/protective of your daughter.

Some birds are better about being family birds. They are more accepting of everyone. They just like attention.

I’m sorry about the experience that you had.

 

[HeatherG]

My blind conure was very scared of new voices and would cry in fear if he heard a stranger. I wonder if Rain was just very confused and scared. She probably also doesn’t understand why her ‘old’ family left her and maybe she’s mad at them?

Also, what a conflict for Rain! They went away, she met your family and trusted you (though she was scared and vulnerable), she chose your daughter, and then the old family returns to visit. What’s going to happen? Are they going to take Rain back with them? Maybe Rain is comfortable where she is now and doesn’t want any more disruptions! Anyway she is NOT HAPPY and not having any.

I rescued a pionus who was a terrible plucker. He did a lot better until I needed to move. As he watched me pack up, he started tearing his new feathers out. I’m sure he thought I was going to leave him behind. He couldn’t be comforted (though I was so exhausted with moving on my own that I know I didn’t spend enough time trying) and he got a terrible skin infection.

Obviously I wasn’t going to leave him behind, but he didn’t know that. He was very upset about it just as your Rain was really upset. Comfort Rain and tell her she is at home now!

(I feel very bad for the teenage girl and her family.)

 

[wrench13]

We had to rehome a Quaker we had when my kids were very little (decided they were enemies). We gave him to a neighbor who had parrots in the past. 2 yrs later at a block party, they brought him out. They warned me he was only bonded to the wife, but when I offered to him to step up, he did so willingly and even let me put him on his back for awhile. The lady was shocked! I think it depends on the parrot and his experiences.

 

[Mom2Rain]

I’ve noticed that some birds play favorites, and aren’t shy about it. They bond to one person, and that person is their everything. Everyone else is just there, and at times they will even attack others. If your macaw sees your daughter as their mate, and has bonded in that way it could be that she became possessive/protective of your daughter.

Some birds are better about being family birds. They are more accepting of everyone. They just like attention.

I’m sorry about the experience that you had.

Thank you. Yes, ...it's just what some birds do. I know...They pick a person and that's it. Rain only tolerates me for head pets, so I understand their frustration.

I'm sorry for the previous family. They drove a long way and then the teen girl was so upset at Rain's hostility. (Understandable).
We have been involved with other rehomes in the past. Some got emotional, but this was by far the worst because it involves a kid.

We had to rehome a Quaker we had when my kids were very little (decided they were enemies). We gave him to a neighbor who had parrots in the past. 2 yrs later at a block party, they brought him out. They warned me he was only bonded to the wife, but when I offered to him to step up, he did so willingly and even let me put him on his back for awhile. The lady was shocked! I think it depends on the parrot and his experiences.

We had to rehome a Quaker we had when my kids were very little (decided they were enemies). We gave him to a neighbor who had parrots in the past. 2 yrs later at a block party, they brought him out. They warned me he was only bonded to the wife, but when I offered to him to step up, he did so willingly and even let me put him on his back for awhile. The lady was shocked! I think it depends on the parrot and his experiences.

It definitely depends on the bird. She's just determined to like who she likes and there is no bribing this one.

 

[Mom2Rain]

My blind conure was very scared of new voices and would cry in fear if he heard a stranger. I wonder if Rain was just very confused and scared. She probably also doesn’t understand why her ‘old’ family left her and maybe she’s mad at them?

Also, what a conflict for Rain! They went away, she met your family and trusted you (though she was scared and vulnerable), she chose your daughter, and then the old family returns to visit. What’s going to happen? Are they going to take Rain back with them? Maybe Rain is comfortable where she is now and doesn’t want any more disruptions! Anyway she is NOT HAPPY and not having any.

I rescued a pionus who was a terrible plucker. He did a lot better until I needed to move. As he watched me pack up, he started tearing his new feathers out. I’m sure he thought I was going to leave him behind. He couldn’t be comforted (though I was so exhausted with moving on my own that I know I didn’t spend enough time trying) and he got a terrible skin infection.

Obviously I wasn’t going to leave him behind, but he didn’t know that. He was very upset about it just as your Rain was really upset. Comfort Rain and tell her she is at home now!

(I feel very bad for the teenage girl and her family.)

You're correct. She wasn't having it. So sorry about your Pionus! They just don't like disruptions, that's for sure.