My Conure Now Hates Me... Advice?

[hildey89]

Hi There,

Context of our bird situation - We have three birds, two conures, Tito and Susie, and an Indian Ring-neck, Ollie. They are all buddies, except Tito and Susie are housed together and have been for years, they are buds. Ollie has his own cage. Tito is about 3 1/2 yo, Susie 1 1/2yo and Ollie 7 mos.

Now to the issue at hand...

Tito is my bird. He loves me and has always chosen me over my boyfriend. We would play, cuddle and he would always show affection when I would come home from work. I went out of town for about 4 days, and my boyfriend took care of the birds. Tito was super excited to see me when I came home, but that night it was like a switch flipped. He HATES me know. He follows my every move and puffs up, tries to bite me through the cage and today he attacked my lip and cut it.

From what I've read, this could be due to horomones. He is a lot more vocal these past couple of days which leads me to believe that. He has been acting like this for about 4 days. I just don't understand why Tito would turn on me and not my boyfriend. He lets him pick him up and love on him but not me.

I am being very patient with him. I have started wearing gloves when I transfer him to his play set and give him a lot of praise when he steps on my un-gloved finger without attacking it.

I just want to see if this has happened to other people and their conures or why this randomly just happened in a blink of an eye? I hope he's not like this forever.

Any help or advice will be amazing!!

Thanks,

Rachel

 

[Piasa]

They can and do hold grudges. Your boyfriend was caretaker and Tito may have shifted some of his loyalty while you were gone. Just be your loving self to him and be patient. Do your normal routine. If he doesn't calm down, ask if your boyfriend will limit his time with Tito while you pick up the slack.

Hope peace returns to your household soon.

 

[hildey89]

They can and do hold grudges. Your boyfriend was caretaker and Tito may have shifted some of his loyalty while you were gone. Just be your loving self to him and be patient. Do your normal routine. If he doesn't calm down, ask if your boyfriend will limit his time with Tito while you pick up the slack.

Hope peace returns to your household soon.

Thanks! That is what I have been doing and continue to do so. I feel like I've been dumped, because he was a rescue so seeing his improvements made me so happy everyday. Maybe this quick trip was trigger for him... I let you know how things go =)

 

[wrench13]

I don't like to use gloves at all. Be careful that you don't train the bird to use gloves all the time

 

[MonicaMc]

I agree about the gloves.


I'd say often times, a change in behavior like that is a more 'primitive' type of behavior. When a bird loses their mate, they don't die or remain lonely. They find a new mate. You left. Therefore, he "lost" his mate. Although it's odd that the behavior occurred after you got home, rather than immediately, this is my guess. He has, essentially, decided to "move on", and you may need to give him time to get "reacquainted" with you, even though you were not gone for long.


I haven't had this issue yet with any of my birds, including my rehomed conures, but I've seen it before with other birds.


My biggest "issue" is that Jayde prefers older women, as in the nice, sweet ol' granny types and I'm a younger women. As much as Jayde has come out of her shell and learn to trust in people again, if she sees her favorite person (a fellow member of a local bird club), I'm "bird poop" to her! Jayde will fly over to "Auntie K" and want nothing to do with me! And gets upset if I have to separate her because one of us has to go home! And she really gets going on how upset she is on the ride home! But once back home, she goes back to her normal self! LOL

 

[Skittys_Daddy]

@Salty Agree about the gloves. Truthfully, I've never used gloves when taming any of my birds. I did get bit many times and even blood was drawn but my lack of reaction and rather "non-fear" of being bit ended that quickly. I don't mind being bit and that's why I don't get bit very often. Skitty will bite sometimes, but he doesn't break skin- with me anyways. With other people is a different story.

@Monica Can't really agree about the mate loss. I've heard MANY stories of birds passing on after losing a mate, even some stories of birds passing on after a long time owner passes. They can die of broken hearts. Even people can.

 

[MonicaMc]

@Monica Can't really agree about the mate loss. I've heard MANY stories of birds passing on after losing a mate, even some stories of birds passing on after a long time owner passes. They can die of broken hearts. Even people can.

When I hear of one bird dying shortly after another due to a "broken heart", I have to wonder, were the birds healthy to begin with? Or were both of them sick? Not to say that bird's *CAN'T* be heartbroken over a loss of a mate, but I feel as if many of these cases, the birds were actually sick, which was the cause of death. Not a broken heart.

A bird passing away due to depression after losing their owner? That I could more easily see... especially if all that bird knew was that one person for many years, and the bird doesn't know how to survive without their human.



I just don't believe that parrots "mate for life". There are plenty of examples of birds having multiple mates, or males fighting over a female and getting new mates, or them having "divorces" and pairing up with a new mate. Not to say that parrots can't, or wont, mate for life, I just don't believe it's as common as many people think it is.