My dog was euthanized today… how does one cope?

[kme3388]

Teddy my shih tzu was euthanized today. He would have been 14 years old next month. He was supposed to have some teeth removed this morning. We were wondering if that was why he had some eating issues. He has been drooling a lot the past few months. He also was coughing a lot. Especially when eating or drinking. Sometimes there was blood in the drool. He was 13 pounds 2 years ago. He was 9.3 pounds last month. He was 8.1 pounds today. He couldn’t eat hard food anymore. We had to transfer him to soft food. We did this about a month ago. He ate so much better, and appeared to perk up. Well today the vet found a large tumor in the back of Teddy’s throat to his soft pallet. She described it to be 2 1/2 inches long. She said that this is an aggressive type of cancer. She didn’t recommend any further treatment. We decided that Teddy was suffering, and wouldn’t be improving so the best thing to do for him would be to put him down. So we returned to the vet roughly 2 hours after we dropped him off to hold him one last time, and to be there for him one last time. This was so hard. Myself nor my husband can stop crying. It feels like someone put a hole in our heart, and that someone is suffocating us. We went to Walmart and bought a photo frame to put photos in for memories. How long does this hurt for? Are there things that help people grieve the loss of their furry family members?

 

[saxguy64]

I'm so sorry for your loss, kme. I know how much it hurts. We've been lucky enough to share our lives with a good number of "high maintenance" dogs, cats, and a very special birdie. Losing them is not something you "get used to" no matter how many times. They're all unique and special, and every one takes their place in our hearts, and leaves that place empty when they're gone. Best I can offer is to keep in your mind that Teddy knew how very much he was loved and cared for, and that he made a difference in your life for the better. The time we're allowed to share our lives with them, no matter how long or not, is a gift. ❤️❤️❤️

 

[LaManuka]

Oh @kme3388 , I’m so sorry for your loss, what a darling little sweetheart Teddy looks! Feather and fur babies give us so much unconditional love and it hurts so desperately much when they are gone! It’s a little over a year since I lost my tiny Lilly the lorikeet and I still find myself reduced to tears at her loss more days than not, but her memories are always accompanied by a smile now too. She is always here, always in my heart, I talk to her every day, and I know we will be together again, just as I know I will see all my other feather babies gone before too, and you will be with Teddy again because those bonds of love never break! You did right by Teddy and he knows that. He was so very blessed to be loved by you and your reunion will be a glorious one when it happens. Sending my warmest hugs and deepest condolences to you and yours, @kme3388, you will meet again at the Bridge 🙏🌈

 

[Hatzegopteryx4578]

I’m so sorry for your loss.
My own pet was put down and she was sweetheart.
Just remember that your dog lived the happiest life he could and you did the unselfish decision of being with him during his final moments crossing the rainbow bridge.
I don’t know if this would help but when I buried her I buried with her favourite treat so she’d always enjoy the taste of millet, even if there wasn’t any oast the great beyond. I also placed lavenders over her to symbolise her legacy would pass on through nature.
I also made an album with every moment she was in. But most importantly remember that your dog was with you and he lived the best life he could because of you. You should be proud that you raised such a wonderful being and I know your dog is proud of you for being a wonderful mentor, parent, friend and guardian to him.

 

[DonnaBudgie]

View attachment 49010Teddy my shih tzu was euthanized today. He would have been 14 years old next month. He was supposed to have some teeth removed this morning. We were wondering if that was why he had some eating issues. He has been drooling a lot the past few months. He also was coughing a lot. Especially when eating or drinking. Sometimes there was blood in the drool. He was 13 pounds 2 years ago. He was 9.3 pounds last month. He was 8.1 pounds today. He couldn’t eat hard food anymore. We had to transfer him to soft food. We did this about a month ago. He ate so much better, and appeared to perk up. Well today the vet found a large tumor in the back of Teddy’s throat to his soft pallet. She described it to be 2 1/2 inches long. She said that this is an aggressive type of cancer. She didn’t recommend any further treatment. We decided that Teddy was suffering, and wouldn’t be improving so the best thing to do for him would be to put him down. So we returned to the vet roughly 2 hours after we dropped him off to hold him one last time, and to be there for him one last time. This was so hard. Myself nor my husband can stop crying. It feels like someone put a hole in our heart, and that someone is suffocating us. We went to Walmart and bought a photo frame to put photos in for memories. How long does this hurt for? Are there things that help people grieve the loss of their furry family members?

One wonderful thing about our beloved animal family members is that they don't seem understand the concept of their own mortality the way humans do. They don't fear death the way we do so you can get some comfort knowing that Teddy passed away without the kind of fear we feel about death. Teddy just went to sleep and didn't wake up and has now joined all the others in an eternal birdie paradise free from and kind of suffering.
That, of course, still leaves you with a gaping hole in your heart. I promise you it will get better. Your continuous crying will stop and you will begin to enjoy your memories of Teddy with less and less intense pain. For now, let yourselves grieve however it feels best to you. Create a collage of Teddy's best photos. I predict that in a few weeks you will begin to feel more and more "normal' and able to function in a woorld that doesn't take the death of a pet as seriously as they should.

 

[T00tsyd]

There is no easy way. You take each day, each hour or each moment as well as you can and gradually you find that the very real pain has subsided and you can focus on the great times you had together. I have had great joy in a number of dogs over the years and each time that they have had to pass either from old age or sickness it has felt just the same. I think that I will never recover but at some point you may find that there is room in your heart for another who will give you as much if slightly different joy and you will be happy again. Hang in there, the pain will pass, and one day you will be happy to let life continue perhaps with a new friend.

 

[kme3388]

Thank you everyone for your responses. I am going back to read them when I’m crying to help me through this stage of grief. Being apart of a parrot forum with people who understand this is very helpful.

 

[Cottonoid]

Oh kme, I'm so sorry to read this What a shock that must have been. It's never easy to say goodbye, but it's so much harder when we thought we had more time. Hugs from me and of course Cotton ❤️

 

[Birds lover from Hawaii]

My heart aches when I saw your post and Teddy's pic. It brought back all the sad memories when my 27-year-old Senegal passed. No matter how hard we tried to save their lives, it can never beat the natural cycle that everything that lives eventually die including humans of course. It's been over a year and a half, it still hurts whenever I think of my BB and can't bear to see his picture for more than 5 minutes without choking up with tears. On the other hand, we all have to accept the realities and as long as we have achieved happiness with each other while being alive, it had already served the purpose being a part of this world. Try to divert your attention to those who are still around you, take good care of them and enjoy the warm Spring season coming along

 

[ravvlet]

I am so sorry for your loss. We lost a beloved cat once in a similar manner; dropped him off for an appointment and got the call from the vet while I was at work that what was wrong wasn’t something he could fix. It’s so hard, especially when it isn’t expected.

Keeping you and your family in our thoughts. I am certain Teddy had a fulfilling and wonderful life with you, and you did your very best to make sure he would no longer have to suffer.

 

[kme3388]

This has also had other challenges That I wasn’t expecting. Because I’m emotional, and crying Nico (my Ekkie) tunes into that. He’s never bit me before. He does when I’m crying. He also starts aggressively preening. I’ve tried my best to keep a normal routine for him. I can’t stop crying, and I really can’t fix it.

 

[T00tsyd]

I am sorry that you are struggling so and it is early days still. There is an awful gap in your life and it takes time to get used to that. Could it be that your parrot feels the loss too? Hence the change in behaviour? Please trust that you will feel better soon. Your fur baby had reached a good age I think and the worst thing you might have wanted was for him/her to continue in a life perhaps of pain and unhappiness. The animal world is far more pragmatic about the end of life and accepts it as a natural part of their lives. My last dog had cancer. It came on very quickly and the end was sudden when the vet told me that it was time. I went home for just an hour and returned for the last appointment of the day. He was German Shepherd so too large to be lifted on the table. I held his head as he gazed at me without flinching until his eyes closed and I put his head on the floor and I knew he understood. More than anything else I knew that he knew that I loved him and that we had had some really excellent times together.

Like you I went home and sobbed and the gap left around the house was immense. The bottom line for me was that I knew that on that last day he was in pain and knew it was only fair to him to let him go. He was 10years. There will come a time when the heartache will lessen, and all will be well. Please hold on to that thought in the bad times. It will pass.

 

[COstwald]

View attachment 49010Teddy my shih tzu was euthanized today. He would have been 14 years old next month. He was supposed to have some teeth removed this morning. We were wondering if that was why he had some eating issues. He has been drooling a lot the past few months. He also was coughing a lot. Especially when eating or drinking. Sometimes there was blood in the drool. He was 13 pounds 2 years ago. He was 9.3 pounds last month. He was 8.1 pounds today. He couldn’t eat hard food anymore. We had to transfer him to soft food. We did this about a month ago. He ate so much better, and appeared to perk up. Well today the vet found a large tumor in the back of Teddy’s throat to his soft pallet. She described it to be 2 1/2 inches long. She said that this is an aggressive type of cancer. She didn’t recommend any further treatment. We decided that Teddy was suffering, and wouldn’t be improving so the best thing to do for him would be to put him down. So we returned to the vet roughly 2 hours after we dropped him off to hold him one last time, and to be there for him one last time. This was so hard. Myself nor my husband can stop crying. It feels like someone put a hole in our heart, and that someone is suffocating us. We went to Walmart and bought a photo frame to put photos in for memories. How long does this hurt for? Are there things that help people grieve the loss of their furry family members?

I am sorry for your loss🙏❤️🙏

 

[Terry57]

I'm so sorry for your loss of Teddy. I lost my Chazzie 7 years ago, and my other 2 boys within 5 weeks of each other 3 years ago in June, and it still hurts. I was shocked when I figured out how long ago it was because in ways it feels like yesterday.

I cried for days when we lost them, and still shed a tear when I think about them being gone. I try to remember how they lived instead of the end, and it seems to help.

I waited until this past summer to get another dog, I wasn't ready before. We have 3 puppies now, females rather than males, and they are soothing my heart more than I ever thought possible.
I'm glad I waited until I was ready, though.

My heart goes out to you and your husband, and I'm sending many hugs of comfort to you both.
I believe that Teddy is waiting alongside my boys at the Rainbow Bridge, healthy once more and waiting to see us again.

 

[kme3388]

It’s been hard because both myself, and my husband grieve our pets as humans grieve other humans. These animals are our lives. We dedicate ourselves fully to our animals. They are apart of every aspect of our lives.

It’s hard to hear people tell us that we should be over it by now, we need to be better by a certain date, wait until we actually lose a parent because that’s by far worse then losing “just” a pet, and just get another dog. These truly are the common things we hear. It definitely doesn’t help. Which is why I posted on here as most are huge animal lovers, and are understanding when I say animals when they leave us break our hearts. It’s like losing a human companion. My husband would tell anyone he likes animals more than he likes people.

 

[onamom]

I am so very sorry for your loss. I feel the same way about all of my animals. They are my world and I like animals more than people for sure. Society doesn’t value animals the way a lot of us do and don’t understand how devastating it can be to lose them. There is certainly no time frame you “should be over it”. Or even ever for that matter. Our beloved pets leave a mark in our hearts and lives and we will always miss them. However in time I hope you will be able to look back and find happiness and peace at the time you spent together. Take it one day at a time and it’s ok to feel however you feel. Sending you well wishes.

 

[chris-md]

Ugh, I’m so sorry. 🥺you cope by crying 😕 we lost our girl a year ago, first pet me or my partner ever saw from beginning to end (emphasis on end, both experiencing the processs for the first time). I cried HARD for her as recently as 3 weeks ago. As noted, depending on who you are you don’t cope. You’ve cry. You don’t get over, the pain just gets tolerable over time.

On our baby girls birthday 3 weeks actually adopted a new dog, a sweet wheaten terrier (we think…dna test will come eventually). We, but especially me, still compare him to her a little bit, but it’s part of the grieving process when it’s still so raw.

But our aunt said it best: you never get over the first one. You’ll still find yourself bursting into tears even 8 years later.

For me, the Best way to get over a dog is to love another. It’s been a year, plus a new dog, and I’m only now feeling ready to spread my girls ashes. But still in tears as I’m typing this. But the new dog is giving me strength to move on. Even after showing he’s indifferent to me at best (sent me to the ER last night after a nasty bite, but working with parrots taught me to examine my behavior and see that this bite was completely avoidable and my fault).