Need advice on favoritism


New member
Feb 28, 2013
Hi everyone! I need some advice. To give a little background....I had first started talking about getting a bird a couple months ago, and in my head, I had wanted a smaller parrot. The one I had decided on was a green cheek conure. I had contacted a breeder, already had the one I wanted picked out, and just needed the supplies for when my baby was ready. When talking to my husband on buying a cage on ebay (since they were cheaper), he was talking about how he had always wanted a macaw. He liked the looks of them and loved that they could learn how to talk. I figured he didn't know what he was getting into, and after some research and going to the bird place nearby, we decided on going ahead and getting a macaw. We found a breeder just south of us that had a 8 month old female Camelot macaw, and went to look at her. Of course we both fell in love, and took her home. The breeder purchased her at 6 weeks old and finished hand-feeding her, so she had definitely bonded with him, since his wife had nothing to do with the birds. After bringing her home, she was ok with both of us, but of course had quickly bonded with my husband, although he doesn't really do anything to mess with her. I have developed a little jealousy over it, since I'm the one that is her primary caretaker, and I understand that she is an animal and that most of the time, birds do take to one person mostly. The annoying thing husband works all day so he is gone and most of the time, she is perfectly fine with me...until he gets home. Then all she does is scream and carry on a fit if she's not with him. What are some ways we can work with her on this? Is it ever possible for her to become more ok with me than him? Has anyone else had this issue and if so, how did they become more ok with it? She is a sweet bird when we're home alone together, but she drives us crazy when he gets home....especially if she's not around him.


Aug 17, 2012
Phoenix the Scarlet Macaw
I have the same issue with my Scarlet, clings to be (my scarlet is a male) and won't even let my boyfriend pet him. Seems they like clinging to the opposite sex.

I've been working with him and trying to get him to loosen up. I've been holding Phoenix (my macaw) and getting my boyfriend to pet him. Sometimes I literally have to force Phoenix to stay still and even hold his head but it's been working, my boyfriend can pet him now and Phoenix has even flown to him a couple of times.

My suggestion is just to show your macaw that you and your husband are a unit, to have one you need to take both. Don't answer the screaming either, I had issues with that before too. Get something that makes noise like a bell and put it in your macaw's cage, teach him the sound of the bell is what gets attention not screaming.


New member
Feb 26, 2013
Clifton Springs Newyork
macaw,LS2,congo grey,2Blk Hd caiques,Hawkhead,yellowstrk lory,Blue frnt amazon,sun conure ,Yellow sided greencheek ,Goffin ,Rosebreasted Cockatoo,Greenwing Macaw,Blue and Gold Macaw,Nanday conure,Ecle
This has happened at our house. Dave has been able to win over 3 birds that just wanted to be with me. He had a no fear approach [doesnt care if he gets bit]My suggestion wear a big sweatshirt .He was super sweet to them and waited for them to show an interest no pressure,and went from there.He was patient and persistant [it worked] Good Luck


Mar 6, 2013
Sometimes birds pick one person and that will be that, but this bird is so young you could more then likely change this. Take the bird out of his element like to a nearby pet store( make sure when traveling he is clipped and kept in a carrier till you are at the pet store.) Then take him around and pass him off first from you and your husband then to maybe even other people. During this process of passing of check the body language to make sure there is no aggression or anything big, being a little nervous is ok this will be all new to him/her. Take your time and don't be to forcefull but make it understood that you are a part of his/hers life and a big one and would apprciate if you could handle tiki. As well hybrids are different i have found more then a little with hybrids( i have 2 a harlequin and a bluffons) that they bond to one person easier then a true macaw. I have no evidence why but this seems to be a trend in the rescue world with many hybrids i've seen. So try to socialize your baby and work with him on the step ups in home to maybe will everyone is gone. Show that you are there and willing and tiki will hopefully be willing to. As with any big macaw do not be afraid of that beak they love getting reactions=).


New member
Mar 9, 2011
7 Year old SI Eclectus named Guapo, I have a 6 year old GW Macaw named Neleno
Hello, congrats on your Macaw.
Most Macaws do bond with one person. While your Macaw is very young, this is the time to invade their space.
This means, you must be the care giver, the alfa in your relationship. She must see you as part of her flock and the alfa in that flock. It seems as if she looks she sees your husband in this role.
you must handle her a lot, you should be the only one giving treats, food,water, baths, and so on. She may come around but sometimes they do not.

You will have to really work with her, play with her. She might even bite you at first so stand your ground and never give into her or you will be the loser and all is lost.

Best of luck to you. You may want to post pictures or video of her so we can see her body language when you and your husband interact with her. this helps us viewers give better advise. Thanks Joe

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