I have around a 9 month old turquoise green cheek. Only my second bird I've ever owned.(first was a cockatiel). He is one of the nicest Birds I've ever handled but even after owning him for 6 or 7 months he is still very skittish and scared of me. The fault is my own because in the beginning I wasn't the nicest to him when he did something I didn't like. I've been working with him for a while now trying to correct my mistake with little success. Need advice on how to regain his Trust
Need serious advice!! Conure scared of me
- Thread starter Cbenn08
- Start date
You said you weren't the nicest to him? What do you mean by that? Yelling at him, any physical force used?
It does depend on what you mean by this. As you might've realized, birds don't do all that well with punishment. They don't understand it the way a dog or cat does. It doesn't work the same with them. And they remember things, remember who has yelled at them or hit them or made them scared. So it just depends on what you mean by not being that nice.
You will need patience. Lots of it. Continue to try to make every single interaction with your bird a positive one. Don't get angry at him if he does something you don't like, try to get to what the problem is. If he's screaming incessantly, perhaps he needs more toys. Or out of cage time. It is possible to regain that trust (assuming you didn't abuse your bird and use physical force on him), but again it will just take time. Try to find a treat he enjoys, walk by the cage, stand there patiently until he calms down in your presence, and offer a treat to him in his food bowl. It will take effort on your part too, and he needs to be worked on with this daily, several times a day. Go slow, and don't give up!
It does depend on what you mean by this. As you might've realized, birds don't do all that well with punishment. They don't understand it the way a dog or cat does. It doesn't work the same with them. And they remember things, remember who has yelled at them or hit them or made them scared. So it just depends on what you mean by not being that nice.
You will need patience. Lots of it. Continue to try to make every single interaction with your bird a positive one. Don't get angry at him if he does something you don't like, try to get to what the problem is. If he's screaming incessantly, perhaps he needs more toys. Or out of cage time. It is possible to regain that trust (assuming you didn't abuse your bird and use physical force on him), but again it will just take time. Try to find a treat he enjoys, walk by the cage, stand there patiently until he calms down in your presence, and offer a treat to him in his food bowl. It will take effort on your part too, and he needs to be worked on with this daily, several times a day. Go slow, and don't give up!
- Thread starter
- #3
Thank you for the advice. Sadly I did do a few of those things. I got frustrated with him and yelled at him. When he would bite me I would flick his beak a little. I have since done research and found I did way more harm than good to the relationship. Have been working with him staying calm and trying to repair the mistrust. He will come to me and get on my hand and shoulder fine but you can tell he is very on edge all the time. If I go to pet him he cowers down when my hand comes near. Do you think over time this behavior will fade?
syakti
New member
Oh boy, they remember everything you do!
What do you mean with you weren't nicest to him? If you were hitting him or something, I don't think he will ever be able to trust you again.
Try not to do whatever you have been doing. When he does something you don't like, say "no" with a firm voice. My GCC stops whatever he is doing when I say "no" and looks at me to check if I am too upset, if I am smiling, he goes back to what he's doing, if not he stays away from whatever it is
They are beautiful creatures! Enjoy his company.
What do you mean with you weren't nicest to him? If you were hitting him or something, I don't think he will ever be able to trust you again.
Try not to do whatever you have been doing. When he does something you don't like, say "no" with a firm voice. My GCC stops whatever he is doing when I say "no" and looks at me to check if I am too upset, if I am smiling, he goes back to what he's doing, if not he stays away from whatever it is
They are beautiful creatures! Enjoy his company.I think you are on the right track with repairing this relationship. Here's my story on regaining trust...
After my pair of cockatiels had babies I stupidly put their nestbox on top of a desk, still in plain sight of them. I let the two out and they immediately flew to the nestbox, thinking their babies were still in there (all had gone to their new families) the male (normally very sweet to me) started dive-bombing me!!!
He had never done that before and I was absolutely terrified, yes, of this tiny little cockatiel! I got them back in the cage but the trust between us was a little shaky after that - I was left shaken and hurt. I was just so appalled he would act out like that and bite and dive bomb me, but in hindsight it was his hormones and instinct taking over.
So I worked with him... it took some time but eventually we began to trust each other again. We had to have a little reset in our friendship, as he would lunge when I put my hands near him. So we worked slow, and eventually was finally able to have my hand in the cage and they ate millet from my hand....and now now we're back to where we were, trust restored!
After my pair of cockatiels had babies I stupidly put their nestbox on top of a desk, still in plain sight of them. I let the two out and they immediately flew to the nestbox, thinking their babies were still in there (all had gone to their new families) the male (normally very sweet to me) started dive-bombing me!!!
He had never done that before and I was absolutely terrified, yes, of this tiny little cockatiel! I got them back in the cage but the trust between us was a little shaky after that - I was left shaken and hurt. I was just so appalled he would act out like that and bite and dive bomb me, but in hindsight it was his hormones and instinct taking over.
So I worked with him... it took some time but eventually we began to trust each other again. We had to have a little reset in our friendship, as he would lunge when I put my hands near him. So we worked slow, and eventually was finally able to have my hand in the cage and they ate millet from my hand....and now now we're back to where we were, trust restored!
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About two months with daily interaction and he was back to being sweet as can be.
MooshieBird
New member
First, You recognized your mistake and you are actively fixing it. That is more than lots of people do so don't beat yourself up or get discouraged.
I can attest that positive reinforcement is effective. I have been extremely lucky with my bird Mushka in that she has progressed very quickly and I have been able to see the difference on a daily basis. It takes many birds months or more to really get results but it really does work.
Mushka was a rescue bird but she was well taken care of. At first she was very cage aggressive, and very aggressive with most people and animals no matter where she was. She gave several very bad bites, and severely injured a BnG macaw twice her size. The BnG nearly lost his tongue and a toe. I got lucky and for some reason Mushka liked me from the first but she wouldn't step up or let me take her out of her cage or any number of things. I had been researching quite a bit and I had owned smaller birds so I had CONFIDENCE.
That is a big thing, don't let your mistake make you timid, your conure will gain confidence only when you have it. These little guys are very empathetic and your attitude makes a huge difference. Make every interaction with your bird positive as much as possible. Let your bird make the first move. When you work with him remain positive and happy, find out a good treat that motivates your bird and and let him come to get it from you while you talk to them in a positive way. If you need to, give it to them through the cage bars for a while. Sit close to them where they have access to you but don't approach them, have a treat or a favorite toy and just act positive and happy. When they show interest offer a treat. Read a book with your bird close so you are just a constant part of the scenery but no threat.
I let Mushka make the first move from the start. I would offer a treat, but she would have to approach me to get it. I didn't scratch her head unless she came to me and asked for it. As we progressed after she came to me I would ask her to step up and would let her come to my hand. If she moved off I wouldn't chase, just wait while I talked to her. That never worked with her, the first time she stepped up was when we were playing with a toy and she just stepped up. After doing this for a month visiting her for an hour a day I went in to pick her up. They came out with leather gloves and a perch to get her from her cage and I just reached in and let her step up and got her out of the cage. All because I was confidant, always let Mushka do what she was comfortable with, and made every experience I had with her positive.
Since coming home I have had others repeat the same process with great success. She is a much more personable bird with everyone, and will step up for others and even let others scratch her head after she gets to know them. We still have a way to go, she still won't let anyone other than me take her out of her cage in the morning, she will still nip others if they get to pushy but it isn't her first reaction anymore and she doesn't draw blood any more. In a few months Mushka went from overly an aggressive bird that others were afraid to handle without gloves to a very well adjusted bird who is now curious about new people.
Target training may be good as well, especially if they are afraid of your hands. Lots of good videos and posts about target training online, and I have seen people work with skittish birds and get them used to hands by gradually "choking up" on the stick end eventually eliminating it all together. So there are several options out there to see what works well for you and your bird.
Obviously Mushka's situation was different from your bird, but the methods remain the same. Be confidant not forceful, give your bird the time they need, and make every experience end in a positive. I am not a bird expert but I am proud of my relationship with Mushka and what it took to get here. Once you take the time and put in the effort you will know that your bird's relationship with you is something to be proud of. Birds don't immediately naturally trust people and when you earn it you feel great and know it was worth the effort.
I can attest that positive reinforcement is effective. I have been extremely lucky with my bird Mushka in that she has progressed very quickly and I have been able to see the difference on a daily basis. It takes many birds months or more to really get results but it really does work.
Mushka was a rescue bird but she was well taken care of. At first she was very cage aggressive, and very aggressive with most people and animals no matter where she was. She gave several very bad bites, and severely injured a BnG macaw twice her size. The BnG nearly lost his tongue and a toe. I got lucky and for some reason Mushka liked me from the first but she wouldn't step up or let me take her out of her cage or any number of things. I had been researching quite a bit and I had owned smaller birds so I had CONFIDENCE.
That is a big thing, don't let your mistake make you timid, your conure will gain confidence only when you have it. These little guys are very empathetic and your attitude makes a huge difference. Make every interaction with your bird positive as much as possible. Let your bird make the first move. When you work with him remain positive and happy, find out a good treat that motivates your bird and and let him come to get it from you while you talk to them in a positive way. If you need to, give it to them through the cage bars for a while. Sit close to them where they have access to you but don't approach them, have a treat or a favorite toy and just act positive and happy. When they show interest offer a treat. Read a book with your bird close so you are just a constant part of the scenery but no threat.
I let Mushka make the first move from the start. I would offer a treat, but she would have to approach me to get it. I didn't scratch her head unless she came to me and asked for it. As we progressed after she came to me I would ask her to step up and would let her come to my hand. If she moved off I wouldn't chase, just wait while I talked to her. That never worked with her, the first time she stepped up was when we were playing with a toy and she just stepped up. After doing this for a month visiting her for an hour a day I went in to pick her up. They came out with leather gloves and a perch to get her from her cage and I just reached in and let her step up and got her out of the cage. All because I was confidant, always let Mushka do what she was comfortable with, and made every experience I had with her positive.
Since coming home I have had others repeat the same process with great success. She is a much more personable bird with everyone, and will step up for others and even let others scratch her head after she gets to know them. We still have a way to go, she still won't let anyone other than me take her out of her cage in the morning, she will still nip others if they get to pushy but it isn't her first reaction anymore and she doesn't draw blood any more. In a few months Mushka went from overly an aggressive bird that others were afraid to handle without gloves to a very well adjusted bird who is now curious about new people.
Target training may be good as well, especially if they are afraid of your hands. Lots of good videos and posts about target training online, and I have seen people work with skittish birds and get them used to hands by gradually "choking up" on the stick end eventually eliminating it all together. So there are several options out there to see what works well for you and your bird.
Obviously Mushka's situation was different from your bird, but the methods remain the same. Be confidant not forceful, give your bird the time they need, and make every experience end in a positive. I am not a bird expert but I am proud of my relationship with Mushka and what it took to get here. Once you take the time and put in the effort you will know that your bird's relationship with you is something to be proud of. Birds don't immediately naturally trust people and when you earn it you feel great and know it was worth the effort.
- Thread starter
- #11
Thanks for the help. He will still get on my hand when I put it near him most of the time. Occasionally he will get freaked out and try to fly away though. It's just the shying away from me and being on edge all the time that's an issue currently.
LordTriggs
New member
past is the past, you realized which is the important part
now to get on to repairing it remember that conures LOVE food, so time to get bribing with treats. Just make sure you work at his pace rather than your own. Make every interaction positive and happy, even if he does just hang out on you. Try to move slowly round him so there's no sudden movements to make him jump.
Aside from that in future if he does bite just remove him from your person calmly and ignore him completely for a minute then go straight back to the fun
now to get on to repairing it remember that conures LOVE food, so time to get bribing with treats. Just make sure you work at his pace rather than your own. Make every interaction positive and happy, even if he does just hang out on you. Try to move slowly round him so there's no sudden movements to make him jump.
Aside from that in future if he does bite just remove him from your person calmly and ignore him completely for a minute then go straight back to the fun
