New African grey baby male taking to me instead of my wife

Louieb886

New member
Aug 25, 2021
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1 called louie a congo african grey
Hi all , so where to start I am the partner of a beautiful African grey female who is 16 years old , however my wife decided she would love the companionship that I also have with my bird , so we brought a gorgeous young male into the family . Problem is he is starting to take a liking to me and not wife , he will allow her to touch him and smooth him but is constantly trying to get to me and I am able to handle him without much issue ? Would you guys say it’s because of how he sees I am with my grey ? And also what would you guys suggest would be the right steps to allow a secure and loving bond between our new friend and my wife ?
 

wrench13

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Nov 22, 2015
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So I think one of the reasons there is not more responses to your dilemma is because of several things. Baby parrots often ( but not every time by any means) transfer their 'love' upon reaching puberty to someone else, and many an owner has been emotionally upset when 'their' parrot now favors someone else in the family, often someone who has no interest in parrots at all. It is still very early in your Greys life and they are very impressionable still, so I would suggest that all interactions with the baby be with your wife; feeding, cage maintenance, playing and training. IF she can also be seen interacting with your Grey, so much the better. Greys are so observant and introspective that could help. Not every parrot grows up with a hard line between 'their' person and everyone else; many are good with multiples of people while still favoring one or two. That's a matter of positive experience exposure, so introducing a number of people to her early on, like now, can play a part. And then again, despite all efforts, she may be completely stubborn, like Greys can be, and resolutely be a one person parrot. There is no way to predict that, but you can stack the odds in your wifes favor. Just be consistent and infinitely patient.
 

chris-md

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Feb 6, 2010
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Parker - male Eclectus

Aphrodite - red throated conure (RIP)
Totally agree with above.

because it’s a baby, I perceive your question as partly getting ahead of the “choosing one person” curve. I’m wondering if you might not benefit from having a consultation with a parrot trainer on dealing with this - at worst will cost a couple hundred dollars for a couple advisory sessions.

I’m well aware that it can 100% be done with proper training, the sort of moderation of one-personness. But I’m also 99% sure nobody on this forum has been able to do it - outside of a rescuer Birdman666 who wrote somewhere on here regarding disfavored person training, if perhaps for lack of drive to do the training. I struggle with it as well, but have just sort of accepted my fate becuase I can still do most things, I just can’t sit on the couch with my partner and expect my bird to stay put with me. And the oft cited “disfavored person should take over all care” usually fails for one reason or another (no disrespect intended, Al!), so there’s more to it for sure.

just something to think about, as the bird is young. And greys behavioral suite is so unique, I think there’s added benefit for you to seek trainer becuase you’ll be up against the wall of a phobic bird species as well, trying to overcome this favoritism.
 

texsize

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Oct 23, 2015
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1 YNA (Bingo)
1 OWA (Plumas R.I.P.)
1 RLA (Pacho R.I.P.)
2 GCA(Luna,Merlin) The Twins
1 Congo AG (Bella)
5 Cockatiels
Bella my African Grey chose my wife as her person.
this month marks my 5 year got ya anniversary date.
my CAG was just under 1 yo and was a plucker from an abusive home.
I feed her, I am the one who lets her out of her cage.
It would not be so bad if my wife was not so afraid of The Beak.
But Bella sits with my wife and gets scratches, something no one else is allowed to do.
I am second in her line up. I can carry her around or let her ride my shoulder.
She only bites me if I go over the line (her line) with her.
My son is third, he can do everything I do but she is more likely to bite my son, mostly warning bites.

texsize
 

benbfishin

New member
Nov 16, 2015
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4
Hi all , so where to start I am the partner of a beautiful African grey female who is 16 years old , however my wife decided she would love the companionship that I also have with my bird , so we brought a gorgeous young male into the family . Problem is he is starting to take a liking to me and not wife , he will allow her to touch him and smooth him but is constantly trying to get to me and I am able to handle him without much issue ? Would you guys say it’s because of how he sees I am with my grey ? And also what would you guys suggest would be the right steps to allow a secure and loving bond between our new friend and my wife ?
I often say..the bird chooses his or her partner....and I know this to be always true..my grey is 34, and is my bird..period. If off his stand, will literally chase my wife, and has nipped her ankle a couple of times in ambush attacks that would make a military man proud. The horrible part, my wife cares for him, feeds him, talks to him..and he talks to her...I have had him as a rescue for 7 years...and now, 7 years later he will finally let her pet him, but stepping up to her is out of the question. Grey's are notorious 1 person birds...and no matter how hard you try to gain their trust, these stubborn guys pick who they want..no matter your best efforts. If you are blessed to recieve their love, it is indescribable. That bond...is beyond words.
 

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