Sister threatens to kill my bird

[happycat]

Sorry, I don't know if the forums is the place to rant about this, but I had to rant somewhere.

So basically, every time my older sister and I are fighting she tells me that unless I do what she wants me to (cover up for her, stop arguing with her etc.) she threatens to kill Kirby. For some odd reason, she gets away with everything she does. She never cleans up her messes so the rest of us do it for her, and if the house is messy because of her my mom blames me and my other sister for it. If she pulls my hair or something and I pull her hair back, or even if I don't pull her hair, I get in trouble for it. Annoying. :I
Just a little while ago, we had a fight because we were each given a job to do by our dad because our sink was leaking to the people below us and we had to help. Me and my other sister did our jobs, and when we asked her to do hers she simply said "nope" and made us do it for her. I told my dad that she wasn't doing it (he's used to her not doing anything for him by now) and he told her unless she helped he wouldn't pay her rent. We thought this would help since she needed the money for college but instead she said "fine, I'm still not doing it". I was honestly pretty happy because, like I said, she gets away with absolutely everything without consequence, and finally she had one.
So afterwards she was screaming at me for telling my dad and basically went berserk saying it was my fault. All this time I was hoping she would finally get some backlash for being so mean but I knew she would get her way in the end. I was controlling myself pretty well, I thought. She was still yelling at my sister and I but we just locked ourselves in our room. But of course she had to go way too far in saying that if we don't let her in she'll use nail polish in Kirby's room. (it changes everytime, it goes from "I'll let the cats in Kirby's room" to "Ill use bleach in Kirby's room" or "I'll let Kirby loose outside")
I expected she was just trying to get to me, but even if she was lying there is no way I'd let a threat to kill my bird slide. And anyway, she's almost hurt him before. Every once in a while she does leave the door open to let the cat that wants to eat him in. She's used nailpolish around him too; not because of a fight but because she doesn't really care about hurting him and/or thinks I'm lieing about the 'fumes kill birds thing'. Seriously though? Threatening to kill a helpless animal just because I told our dad that she didn't help? What a baby. And we really didn't do anything else to her but that.
So of course I had to go out there to make sure she didn't hurt him and that resulted in another fight. Its hard to control myself when she brings my animals into it.
I leave for a few minutes, and guess what? She forced my sister to lie to my dad and tell him she helped. I was going to tell him that that was a blatant lie but of course if I did I would have to be worried that she'd hurt my poor parrot. I understand that the rent is a big deal, but she brought it upon herself and she really had no excuse to act like that. But of course she's going to get away with it, yet again.
Another thing is, even if she didn't help (She's so stubborn she wouldn't help even when her rent was involved) she could have made up for it by asking our dad politely, but thats never going to happen.

The worst part is that she gets angry at us if we don't help, even when she doesn't help herself.

 

[MomtoPercy]

Oh dear, it sounds like you're having a really tough time! Have you tried talking to your parents (maybe with your other sister) about how you see the situation and how it upsets the two of you? The threat against Kirby may just be your sister venting, saying things to scare or hurt you just for the reaction, but from the other things you mentioned, I think the threat is not entirely non-existent and needs to be adressed. However, I doubt anything will change unless your parents step in. Also, can't Kirby live in your room? Perhaps you and your sister can lock the room to make sure he can't be threatened? Good luck and give Kirby an extra cuddle from me ((hugs))

 

[Sterling1113]

Oh no, that's awful.
I went through a similar thing when I lived at my parent's house. My dad would threaten to put Kiwi outside, and actually went as far as to put my reptiles(in their terrariums) outside. I ended up moving Kiwi out of the house and re-homing my reptiles out of fear that he would get worse.
Maybe you can even talk to your sister when she's calm, perhaps while a parent is in the room(so they can hear when/if she starts to get irrational) and explain that you understand as siblings you're going to fight and argue, but bringing Kirby into it is only going to cause long term damage to your relationship, as you'll no longer be able to trust her.
I wish I had more advice, but I know it sucks. hang in there.

 

[happycat]

Oh no, that's awful.
I went through a similar thing when I lived at my parent's house. My dad would threaten to put Kiwi outside, and actually went as far as to put my reptiles(in their terrariums) outside. I ended up moving Kiwi out of the house and re-homing my reptiles out of fear that he would get worse.
Maybe you can even talk to your sister when she's calm, perhaps while a parent is in the room(so they can hear when/if she starts to get irrational) and explain that you understand as siblings you're going to fight and argue, but bringing Kirby into it is only going to cause long term damage to your relationship, as you'll no longer be able to trust her.
I wish I had more advice, but I know it sucks. hang in there.

Thanks for the nice replies, guys.

Talking to my parents isn't going to help though. My mom is even more irrational. Even when she's around when both of us are fighting, she just tells me to stop and blames me for it. She can be extremely immature, and will even mock me by making faces. I have told her countless times to treat us all equally but she never does.

My dad is better. He's learned to not ask her to do favors for him (because she never has and never will) but he doesn't let her do whatever she wants. Unfortunately he can't help very much because my parents are divorced and he's not at our house. That sucks what they did to reptiles though, I wish more people understood how important animals are to their owners.

 

[Dinosrawr]

She sounds incredibly manipulative. I hate to sound rude, but I feel sorry for any person she ends up in a relationship with. I had to deal with a friend who was like that at a very young age. She would threaten to end our friendship, threaten to hurt my little sister who was a newborn, and would steal my belongings and say they were hers. She got away with EVERYTHING.

One day I was so fed up with it I told her she could keep everything because I couldn't stand her. My older brother was with me at the time, and we were only 9 and 11. We got into a shouting match with her, she called my baby sister fat (who says that as an insult, anyways?), and my brother lost it. He threw a rock at her to scare her, but it curved in the air and hit her in the head. The next day we moved. She was fine, but I can't say I regret her finally being taught some form of a lesson.

It rather sickens me that someone could be so callous about another living, innocent animal. Do your parents know she threatens to kill your bird? And honestly, the only way to prove to your parents what is happening is cold, hard evidence. Whether or not that will change anything, I don't know. It sounds like they've given up on trying to punish her and she knows it. But I would definitely be bringing this to your parents. I'd be terrified of calling her bluff because you don't know what she'll do, and she probably won't feel bad for killing your bird.

The only thing I can think of is removing her from your life until she smartens up, but I'm not sure how you can manage that just yet. Perhaps you could recommend family counseling with your sister, which sounds extreme, but it is an option. I'm sorry you have to deal with that I wish I could do more. I hope you can solve things soon and that your sister smartens up.

 

[happycat]

She sounds incredibly manipulative. I hate to sound rude, but I feel sorry for any person she ends up in a relationship with. I had to deal with a friend who was like that at a very young age. She would threaten to end our friendship, threaten to hurt my little sister who was a newborn, and would steal my belongings and say they were hers. She got away with EVERYTHING.

One day I was so fed up with it I told her she could keep everything because I couldn't stand her. My older brother was with me at the time, and we were only 9 and 11. We got into a shouting match with her, she called my baby sister fat (who says that as an insult, anyways?), and my brother lost it. He threw a rock at her to scare her, but it curved in the air and hit her in the head. The next day we moved. She was fine, but I can't say I regret her finally being taught some form of a lesson.

It rather sickens me that someone could be so callous about another living, innocent animal. Do your parents know she threatens to kill your bird? And honestly, the only way to prove to your parents what is happening is cold, hard evidence. Whether or not that will change anything, I don't know. It sounds like they've given up on trying to punish her and she knows it. But I would definitely be bringing this to your parents. I'd be terrified of calling her bluff because you don't know what she'll do, and she probably won't feel bad for killing your bird.

The only thing I can think of is removing her from your life until she smartens up, but I'm not sure how you can manage that just yet. Perhaps you could recommend family counseling with your sister, which sounds extreme, but it is an option. I'm sorry you have to deal with that I wish I could do more. I hope you can solve things soon and that your sister smartens up.

Thanks
I can't really remove any of them from my life though. Although they can be jerks, I still love them. They aren't always like that. But they all know how much I care about my pets and they know that ticks me off more than anything. You can call me ugly, stupid, mean, whatever you want, but you don't offend my pets! I remember a couple of years ago my hamster had babies and I was working hard to keep all 10 of them alive. I would be up late at night because one of them looked sick or it's cage broke and I had to keep it with me until the morning. They wondered why I cared about a bunch of hamsters so much, (They're just hamsters, right?) My mom was disgusted by them and called them ugly, and my sister said I should have just gotten rid of them and that drove be absolutely crazy xD I wanted to hit her in the face for calling them ugly!

I'm not going to lie though, I go pretty crazy when she threatens to hurt Kirby, and it usually drives me to hit her. But I feel like a threat to actually kill something should be taken more seriously.

 

[happycat]

Oh dear, it sounds like you're having a really tough time! Have you tried talking to your parents (maybe with your other sister) about how you see the situation and how it upsets the two of you? The threat against Kirby may just be your sister venting, saying things to scare or hurt you just for the reaction, but from the other things you mentioned, I think the threat is not entirely non-existent and needs to be adressed. However, I doubt anything will change unless your parents step in. Also, can't Kirby live in your room? Perhaps you and your sister can lock the room to make sure he can't be threatened? Good luck and give Kirby an extra cuddle from me ((hugs))

Thats the only room that is bird-safe and has no cats.
She said that she was "just saying that." It doesn't really matter to me though. I think its messed up either way to say something like that...

Thank you very much for the hug!