So frustrated!

[veimar]

Sorry, I've been missing for a while...
My gcc Parry is making me so unhappy, and my husband wants me to rehome him. Maybe some of you remember the ordeal we had with his foot injury last fall when he kept chewing on his injured talon and lost over a half of it because of the stupid mistake the ER vet did. For about two months he was in a collar, and I administered the medicines, made the bandages, and managed the collar. I tried to be as gentle as possible, but I had to restrain him a lot, and it seemed to break our bond. He started fearing my hands, and hid to the back of the cages when I approached him and tried to let him step up. I didn't really worry too much about that hoping we'll bond again since he seemed to have a nice personality. Then he got hormonal in spring, and I was attributing his attitude to that...
But I was wrong.
From a sweet shoulder buddy he became a biting angry little monster. I just cannot recognize this bird. When I give him food he runs up to me only in attempt to bite my fingers. He flies on my head (which he did before all the time) and starts biting my forehead! When I approach the cage he fluffs up and clings to the bars trying to bite me. When he is outside I have to watch if he is around because he tries to bite my hands if he happens to be close to them. The only time when he doesn't bite is when I firmly pick him up and let him lay on his back on my palm and talk to him. He used to enjoy that, but now I think he is just too scared to bite in that position. I say "he tries to bite" since he almost never gets to actually bite me because I'm careful, and he is very afraid to do that, but he lunges all the time. There are some nice moments when he is better, but then it goes even worse than it was before. I don't really know what to do with him. He hates and fears me - what kind of pet is that? He doesn't love anybody else as well, and he often attacks other birds. He is about 19-20 mo old...
Is there any hope for us to restore the bond? Would Parry become a normal bird again? Am I doing something wrong? I'm so frustrated. I still love him so much - he is my first ever bird, and was MY baby! Just a thought about rehomig him makes me cry, but maybe I'm just being egoistic? Please help if you can.

 

[Ann333]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. In the future, a piece of advice my breeder gave me was anytime you need to do something unpleasant use a towel so they end up hating the towel not your hand. As for your problem right now I'm not sure how to help, but I'm sure someone will chime in. Have you tried starting over from scratch as if you're taming a petstore budgie? Just start back at square one as if you had never met the bird before to build trust all over again? I'm not sure if this is the best method, just an idea. But I do want to say that I hope you don't have to rehome your friend I absolutely believe you can rebond! You just need the right guidance and approach.

 

[SoCalWendy]

First, b r e a t h, Take a deep breath and relax..... Now do it again.... In and out...

Now, Ann is correct in her advise. Forget everything up to this start over from scratch. Treat him like he is a new bird. Take things slow. Move slow, and talk soft. You may want to consider gettin him clipped, so that he does not fly on your head or shoulder and beat you up. Hormones may be playing a lot in to this, those will pass. Meanwhile, work on his diet, (I have a really good article I will dig up on diet and hormones) put him to bed when the sun goes down, and work slowly on training. Don't give up yet, set boundaries for him, and be consistent. I will go and find that article, I will be back to post it. Good luck...

Ok here it's is: http://www.pamelaclarkonline.com/uploads/Diet-Linked_Behavior_in_Parrots.pdf

 

[RavensGryf]

I'm so sorry to hear about Parry, Marina . Reading posts about cuddly birds might make you feel alone, but I wanted to tell you that I know exactly how you feel.

I have a different situation of course, but one I haven't talked about openly so I'll keep it brief, but my 17 month old hand fed, previously super cuddly and hands on, Ruppell's parrot has gone "wild". Literally all of a sudden. I have lost my baby. No rhyme or reason, I've had a couple months now to think not only of the obvious, but the not so obvious possible reasons as well. Nothing changed. I'm stumped completely. He's like a wild bird you see outdoors who is used to humans enough that you can get fairly close, but you know what happens with a wild bird when you get too close, and then you can imagine when you have to catch a literally "wild" parrot.

With your Parry, although I think it's great that he's flighted, I was first thinking to clip him. But then on second thought, under the circumstances I am not sure that will help. It might terrify him even more, and then he'll be acting like Griffin doing the death screech and all. I am so sorry, I don't have an answer. I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I "wish" I could convert some part of this house to an aviary or bird room, where the walls of the room ARE the cage. Something where Griffin no longer needs a cage to have to catch him and put him in. Can you see something like that being feasible in your house? Hang in there... will you please keep us posted?


Edit: Wendy was posting at the same time above. It does sound like Parry is still tame overall, so you can try clipping wings. Sometimes it does mellow a bird who takes for granted they can just get away with whatever they want, then fly away. Also, consider that maybe it IS hormones.

 

[veimar]

Thank you so much for you kind replies!! This warms my heart.
Yes, I was using towel all the time when I handled him, but he was smart enough to figure out that my hands were holding him in the towel! and I clipped him a couple of days ago, but probably not short enough. He is a master flyer, and even clipping doesn't stop him. I don't want to take the joy of flying from him. Today he did something new. He finally stepped up in the cage to get out after my numerous attempts - that's the only way for him to get out of his cage is to step up on my finger. While he was still on my finger I gave him treats which he gladly ate, and then bit my hand, pretty hard. He never did that before, and he knew he was not supposed to do that. He tried again, but I scolded him, and he sat for a while staring at me and then flew off.
He hasn't landed on my head anymore, at least within a week... I noticed one strange thing - once in every 1-2 hours he would scream and fly frantically around the room (all the other birds following him, of course!), as if something deadly scared him. I used to check outside and inside, but there was really nothing that might be a source. I think he just does it for fun. Is that hormonal too?
I'm not sure how to start from scratch... If a bird is aggressive and wants nothing to do with you, what are you supposed to do? That's not that he is not tame - he just hates you. He seems happy when he is out of cage with other birds when I'm not there - I hear peaceful chirping and playing. When I come he starts screaming (or on opposite, going completely silent), running and flying from place to place and showing all signs of discomfort.

 

[veimar]

First, b r e a t h, Take a deep breath and relax..... Now do it again.... In and out...

Now, Ann is correct in her advise. Forget everything up to this start over from scratch. Treat him like he is a new bird. Take things slow. Move slow, and talk soft. You may want to consider gettin him clipped, so that he does not fly on your head or shoulder and beat you up. Hormones may be playing a lot in to this, those will pass. Meanwhile, work on his diet, (I have a really good article I will dig up on diet and hormones) put him to bed when the sun goes down, and work slowly on training. Don't give up yet, set boundaries for him, and be consistent. I will go and find that article, I will be back to post it. Good luck...

Ok here it's is: http://www.pamelaclarkonline.com/uploads/Diet-Linked_Behavior_in_Parrots.pdf

Thank you - that's a great article. He is on Roudybush crumbles and some Zupreem pellets plus fresh fruits and veggies, absolutely no seed or other "junk food". He gets about 1-3 sunflower seeds a day as treats, but that's it. So there shouldn't be anything in his diet that triggers that behavior. It's probably just hormones. He also never showed any mating behavior, and when he sees my other birds mating he seems to have no clue what are they doing. LOL Training is pretty impossible with what he is now - but luckily he was well trained before and at least a bit of that remained. He used to be a very obedient bird, almost like a dog, and now he seems to do everything on the opposite just to piss me off.

 

[RavensGryf]

I'm not surprised Parry can still fly. Especially with a lighter clip. In a smaller, lighter bodied bird who is used to flying, even a harder clip won't keep them down. I don't think you can rule out hormones necessarily, even if the behavior isn't the "typical" where people will say "oh yeah, that's hormones". Is he on a mostly 'natural' diet?

You DO have a big advantage I think, just with the fact that Parry is still tame (hasn't gone literally wild like Griffin). I know how you'd hate to, but try clipping him shorter. I don't believe you will have to worry about him dropping like a rock when he is so conditioned to fly. Good that Parry NEEDS to step up in order to get out of his cage. When he bites, he gets a firm scolding and goes right back in. But do not forget to reinforce the positive too. How about trying when he's on your finger, set him down BEFORE he bites (judge the timing best you can). Praise him either verbally or with a small treat, whichever he responds best to. Good luck... keep us posted.

 

[ruffledfeathers]

I know it isn't all that 'encouraging' but my Georgie went through a phase, which I called her "terrible 2s" but around that same age, for at least a year, she was kind of a beast and very hard to keep my cool with her. (I had inner regrets sometimes, like 'why did I get her?' and then I would feel so guilty for thinking it when I love her.) However, with time and work (and truly massive patience, I won't lie) she came around and was a good bird again. In her case I do think part of it was hormonal. She almost seemed angry all the time, for no apparent reason, and that kind of is like an extreme manifestation of hormonal frustration.
I do have faith that it can/will improve.

 

[veimar]

I have good news! My hubby spent the whole evening with Parry preparing the dinner and was very loving with him, talking and having fun. Parry is now better with him than with me. He told me he wasn't really serious when he said he wants to rehome Parry, and it was just a moment of frustration. He told me Parry is a good bird and that he loves him a lot. Yay!!!!

 

[Ann333]

That is so good to hear!! Yay!!

 

[RavensGryf]

Great to hear! Maybe Parry will be a daddy's boy .

 

[BoomBoom]

I hope things get better and better! Don't get discouraged by the set backs! Try not to take it personally (hard, I know the feeling) and come here regularly to vent and get great advice along the way. This forum and the awesome people in it helped me get my head screwed back on after Boomer's particularly bad hormonal episode 3 weeks ago.