Staying motivated!

hiriki

Well-known member
Oct 19, 2014
411
588
Chicago, IL
Parrots
(Birdie - Jenday Conure)
(Kiwi - Green Cheek Conure)
(Elby - Lovebird)
(Gorou & Liberty - Ringneck Doves)
Hello all! This thread is for the bird rescuers in particular, but also anyone else who has worked with and tamed hand-shy babies.

I'm currently trying to tame a lovebird who came to me *terrified* of hands. I had incredible progress for about a week, to the point where now she'll place a foot on my hand for treats. Just a week ago she fled at the sight of my hand! She first put her foot on me yesterday and I was over the moon happy. But today was an off day--she barely wanted to approach for treats at all, much less give me a foot. I didn't push it, I just let her do her thing, so we didn't make any progress. She spent most of the day knocking baskets off the top of the cages like a cat, which is her favorite solo activity, and seemed rather peeved whenever I approached.

I know I'll have days like this where it feels like I took two steps back... progress is rarely linear.

But when I look at where I am vs. where I want to be, it feels so far away! I see lovebirds on Youtube happily flying to their handler, hiding in their hair, perching on their finger, and honestly as much as I hope I can teach her to trust me like that it feels really impossible! I'm trying to temper my expectations a bit, but at the very least I'd like to teach her to enter a carrier without fuss so that I can get her to the vet for her yearly without traumatizing her and destroying the foundation of trust I'm trying to build. Even THAT sounds unlikely.

When it comes to birds who take weeks or months to win over, how do y'all keep your morale up?

Edit, it's worth mentioning that I've had her for three years, so I have more history with her than just the past week lol. And I'm not losing patience quite yet! I'm just worried that I will lose patience and wondering how I can combat that.
 
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zERo

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Hello all! This thread is for the bird rescuers in particular, but also anyone else who has worked with and tamed hand-shy babies.

I'm currently trying to tame a lovebird who came to me *terrified* of hands. I had incredible progress for about a week, to the point where now she'll place a foot on my hand for treats. Just a week ago she fled at the sight of my hand! She first put her foot on me yesterday and I was over the moon happy. But today was an off day--she barely wanted to approach for treats at all, much less give me a foot. I didn't push it, I just let her do her thing, so we didn't make any progress. She spent most of the day knocking baskets off the top of the cages like a cat, which is her favorite solo activity, and seemed rather peeved whenever I approached.

I know I'll have days like this where it feels like I took two steps back... progress is rarely linear.

But when I look at where I am vs. where I want to be, it feels so far away! I see lovebirds on Youtube happily flying to their handler, hiding in their hair, perching on their finger, and honestly as much as I hope I can teach her to trust me like that it feels really impossible! I'm trying to temper my expectations a bit, but at the very least I'd like to teach her to enter a carrier without fuss so that I can get her to the vet for her yearly without traumatizing her and destroying the foundation of trust I'm trying to build. Even THAT sounds unlikely.

When it comes to birds who take weeks or months to win over, how do y'all keep your morale up?

Edit, it's worth mentioning that I've had her for three years, so I have more history with her than just the past week lol. And I'm not losing patience quite yet! I'm just worried that I will lose patience and wondering how I can combat that.
Well all I can say is keep it up. I got my Quaker and he wouldn't step up for anything. He came from a bad situation, tiny cage, no toys, bad diet etc. If I let him out of his cage there was no way to get him back in other than picking him up with a towel, I could train him to get on a perch because it terrified him. It took me 4 months to get him to eat healthy but he still didn't wanna step up so I started target and trick training him, that's what helped the most. Now I've had him for seven months and he's a different bird. He eats healthy, lets me pet his head, knows several tricks, flies to me, takes showers with me and steps up on his own. Just move at your birds pace, even if it takes a long time, no matter how long. You should try targeting if you haven't already. Best of luck :giggle:
 
OP
hiriki

hiriki

Well-known member
Oct 19, 2014
411
588
Chicago, IL
Parrots
(Birdie - Jenday Conure)
(Kiwi - Green Cheek Conure)
(Elby - Lovebird)
(Gorou & Liberty - Ringneck Doves)
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #3
Thanks! Stories like this are what I was hoping to hear.

I don't know all of my lovebird, Elby's history, or whether she may have been abused--what I know is that she was surrendered at an exotic vet by someone who claimed to have found her outside. I suspect she had a minor stroke at some point because she favors one side of her body, and it's especially noticeable when she flies. Everything before she was dropped off at the vet is a mystery... after that, a vet tech from that vet took her in for a while and was good to her but didn't do much hand taming, and eventually she was relinquished to a rescue where I do think she was manhandled a bit. And they clipped her wings so short she fell to the ground like dead weight when I first got her.

The rescue actually told me that I should plan on getting her a cagemate, but I've since found through research that lovebirds are very picky with mates and can be very aggressive. I can't even let her out at the same time as the rest of the flock because she just goes around biting toes :rolleyes:

All of that was completely off-topic but maybe it will be interesting to someone to read 😅
 
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hiriki

hiriki

Well-known member
Oct 19, 2014
411
588
Chicago, IL
Parrots
(Birdie - Jenday Conure)
(Kiwi - Green Cheek Conure)
(Elby - Lovebird)
(Gorou & Liberty - Ringneck Doves)
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #5
And I feel that it's so easy to make a small mistake and set yourself back--like accidentally push a boundary and break trust a bit! Thank you for the words of encouragement, I will try to keep patient and spend time with my conure who already loves me when I need to recharge.
 

chris-md

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Feb 6, 2010
4,349
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Parker - male Eclectus

Aphrodite - red throated conure (RIP)
You have to always keep in mind that parrots rate of change is GLACIAL when compared to our quick monkey brains. Changing a parrots habits can take months and yes, years. Just keep the goal in mind and appreciate the small victories.

or for some, it takes a glacial pace to get to a point of a modicum of trust, but when you hit that point the pace can accelerate at lighting speed.

remember, you only JUST cracked a big part of the code a week ago, and therefore could be viewed that you’ve only just started training a week ago. You’re doing amazing,let the successes be your source of morale and motivation.
 
D

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Two Words: “Baby Steps”

Like in the movie Groundhog Day😀!!

If you haven’t seen it…totally worth watching with your bird. Sometimes sitting with them and doing nothing active in training helps build trust too. Wheel that cage next to you while watching a “low tones” movie as above, or any mundane activity like folding clothes. The pressure is off the birdy to respond and they can start feeling more relaxed in your company.
 
OP
hiriki

hiriki

Well-known member
Oct 19, 2014
411
588
Chicago, IL
Parrots
(Birdie - Jenday Conure)
(Kiwi - Green Cheek Conure)
(Elby - Lovebird)
(Gorou & Liberty - Ringneck Doves)
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #8
Thank you!! Today Elby seems a bit more engaged with me, I'm feeling pretty good ☺️ I knew when I embarked on this journey that I'd quickly lose my steam (it's a personality trait) but what's important is that I keep at it!

@Beak-Beak-Kiss Elby's cage is an obstacle for this plan :( she lives in one half of the A&E double flight cage (my doves occupy the other half, the divider separates them of course). It's not really mobile lol.

But, I do have a play shelf covered in baskets and hanging toys by the couch that she occasionally visits, and maybe I'll use this as an excuse to finally drop some cash on a playstand. I have a curtain that I can close between the couch and her cage to keep her from getting distracted and taking off. It's not quite the same because of course her cage is where she's most comfortable but I think it might be my only option!
 
OP
hiriki

hiriki

Well-known member
Oct 19, 2014
411
588
Chicago, IL
Parrots
(Birdie - Jenday Conure)
(Kiwi - Green Cheek Conure)
(Elby - Lovebird)
(Gorou & Liberty - Ringneck Doves)
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #10
Here's a new question, do you have any recommendations for rolling play stands? My partner purchased the Prevue brand play stand (looked like this) a number of years ago, we put a lot of time into wrapping the dowel perch and the various metal perching spots with rope to make it better for their feet, and then the entire flock ignored it. We ended up donating it to our local bird rescue so I'd feel like a total fool buying it again, although I didn't have Elby at the time so maybe it'll go over different?

Of course, I covet a nice java tree stand but it's generally out of my price range.
 
D

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I think any playstand will be appealing to birbies with the right object of attraction (a sprig of millet spray hanging on it would probably be enough to overcome initial skepticism…then a rotation of toys should work after that.) We inherited a mesquite wood rolling stand with Rico, but for the conures I am having my hubby build one from parrot safe wood.
 
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hiriki

hiriki

Well-known member
Oct 19, 2014
411
588
Chicago, IL
Parrots
(Birdie - Jenday Conure)
(Kiwi - Green Cheek Conure)
(Elby - Lovebird)
(Gorou & Liberty - Ringneck Doves)
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #12
20220110_194938.jpg


Here's the play shelf--she often lands here to hang out with me, but if I pull the curtain to block the view of her cage she becomes very nervous. But if she can see her cage she doesn't stick around for long. She's pretty anxious right now, I'm supplying her with a steady stream of millet to hopefully build some positive associations but I hope I haven't pushed her too far today.
 
D

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View attachment 34092

Here's the play shelf--she often lands here to hang out with me, but if I pull the curtain to block the view of her cage she becomes very nervous. But if she can see her cage she doesn't stick around for long. She's pretty anxious right now, I'm supplying her with a steady stream of millet to hopefully build some positive associations but I hope I haven't pushed her too far today.
What a beautifully enriched environment! You are doing awesome and she just needs time with this new bonding agenda!!
 
OP
hiriki

hiriki

Well-known member
Oct 19, 2014
411
588
Chicago, IL
Parrots
(Birdie - Jenday Conure)
(Kiwi - Green Cheek Conure)
(Elby - Lovebird)
(Gorou & Liberty - Ringneck Doves)
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #14
Today's update is a big one! I was able to convince Elby to step BOTH feet onto the back of my hand (not the palm) to take millet today! The clicker really helped her figure out what I wanted I think, she's been planting one foot at a time on my hand and stretching to grab millet but once she figured out I wanted both feet she just kinda sat on me comfortably and chowed away.

I'm going to keep working on building confidence with the back of my hand for a while before trying to graduate to stepping up, since that's a big step! But I feel very happy :whiteblue:
 

chris-md

Well-known member
Feb 6, 2010
4,349
2,119
Maryland - USA
Parrots
Parker - male Eclectus

Aphrodite - red throated conure (RIP)
When that spark ignites, change can be swift. I’m so happy to hear this update, I know you’re over the moon!
 

benbfishin

New member
Nov 16, 2015
8
17
Hello all! This thread is for the bird rescuers in particular, but also anyone else who has worked with and tamed hand-shy babies.

I'm currently trying to tame a lovebird who came to me *terrified* of hands. I had incredible progress for about a week, to the point where now she'll place a foot on my hand for treats. Just a week ago she fled at the sight of my hand! She first put her foot on me yesterday and I was over the moon happy. But today was an off day--she barely wanted to approach for treats at all, much less give me a foot. I didn't push it, I just let her do her thing, so we didn't make any progress. She spent most of the day knocking baskets off the top of the cages like a cat, which is her favorite solo activity, and seemed rather peeved whenever I approached.

I know I'll have days like this where it feels like I took two steps back... progress is rarely linear.

But when I look at where I am vs. where I want to be, it feels so far away! I see lovebirds on Youtube happily flying to their handler, hiding in their hair, perching on their finger, and honestly as much as I hope I can teach her to trust me like that it feels really impossible! I'm trying to temper my expectations a bit, but at the very least I'd like to teach her to enter a carrier without fuss so that I can get her to the vet for her yearly without traumatizing her and destroying the foundation of trust I'm trying to build. Even THAT sounds unlikely.

When it comes to birds who take weeks or months to win over, how do y'all keep your morale up?

Edit, it's worth mentioning that I've had her for three years, so I have more history with her than just the past week lol. And I'm not losing patience quite yet! I'm just worried that I will lose patience and wondering how I can combat that.
I rescued a grey that was not held for 20 years. 6 monthes later and a lot of blood loss on my part, we are best friends. My advice, go slow, be patient, but persistent. If possible, use a stand and get him away from his cage..this gives you a better chance to interact with your bird on neutral ground. Trust is a hard thing to earn with a bird, but patience , will be well rewarded
 

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