Struggling after saying goodbye

Vilatus

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Jul 17, 2017
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One Quaker, Nico
Hi everyone.

I just wanted to make a post here to vent a bit about Stanley. It's only been a few days now, but I find myself truly struggling to adjust. I've lost pets before and I feel like this is the hardest part in a way. I know I made the right decision for him and I couldn't have magically prevented cancer and extended his life, but there's always the thinking I could have done more.

Every morning when I got up I'd greet him and he would come out and we'd exchange kisses. Every time I came upstairs or went downstairs I'd say hello or see you in a bit, every evening I'd tell him I loved him and that I'd see him in the morning. I find myself unsure of what to do in the evenings now. Normally I would spend the last couple hours of my night before bed making sure I gave him my undivided attention- now I've just been watching TV in the evening. I do have two dogs, and I love them very much, but they are more family pets in a way. Stanley was mine. If he needed anything I gave it to him, whether it was attention or food or medicine. His ashes have already come back, and I'm working on getting a box I like. And in a silly way, Stanley changed me. I never understood birds before I got him, and to be entirely honest he was a spur of the moment decision (if a well researched one). I got him about a month after my grandfather died, he saw me through my grandmother passing as well, a great uncle, two dogs, and three other unfortunately (inbred) ill cockatiels. Because of him I hope to pursue a career in wildlife rehabilitation with birds, or even wildlife education.

I miss him so deeply that to be honest, life feels entirely hopeless right now.
 

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foxgloveparrot

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Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear this news! I know how much you miss your darling Stanley. I'm thinking of you and sending thoughts and prayers. He was such a beautiful budgie who will be missed terribly. But life is not hopeless. There will never be another little bird as special of Stanley, but everything is going to be okay ❤️ I'm so sorry ❤️❤️
 

LaManuka

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Aug 29, 2018
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Ziel I am so very sorry for your loss of Stanley. All of our fids are beloved of course but it is truly devastating when we lose that "one" who is so very special. I lost my heart bird, my GCC called Baci, back in 2018 and it took a very long time before I did not cry over him every single day.

I know how hard it is but please don't feel as though life is hopeless - remember that Stanley loves you and he does not want that for you! He would want you to honour his life in the way that you are - if you do go on to pursue a career in wildlife rehab or education that would be a wonderful legacy for Stanley to leave behind. And one day, when you feel it's right, I hope you will be able to welcome another bird into your home and your heart. Not to replace Stanley because nobody ever could, but to add another little bird to the flock that have been lucky enough to have been loved by you.

The what-ifs are the hardest thing when we lose these precious babies, but you did right by him and it is obvious that Stanley was very much loved. It will take time, Ziel, but one day you will remember him with more smiles than tears, and you will always remember him with love.
 

Laurasea

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Aug 2, 2018
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Be gentle with yourself, treat yourself like you would yourself best freind. Grief goes through stages, and ebbs, then intensify...your brain will only process it a little at a time.

You really want to focus on your good memories. I say that because the brain will try and protect you, and make you forget if thinking on him causes so much pain. So remember the love. You did right by him, and have no fault. It's good to feel and let out the pain of loosing him. But its important to remember the good times too.
 

Scott

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Aug 21, 2010
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RIP Gandalf and Big Bird, you are missed.
My deepest condolences for the passing of beloved Stanley. Your heartfelt testimonial shares his immense influence on your life's work. Stanley's legacy is inspiring reminder a feathered bundle of love can change individuals and the world. Take care of yourself while grieving, time will heal searing pain and despair but we never forget.
 

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