tolerating other family members

[YoshiSwe]

So my bird wants me to herself. She will bite my kids if she gets the chance, or me if I spend too long in the same room as the kids.
She just bit me really hard because my son sat in the room.

When we are alone she is absolutely lovely and sweet.

This is a big problem for me. I need her to accept my sons. She doesn't have to love them, but she can't bite me / them when they are around.
They haven't done anything to her, they always talk to her sweetly when she is in her cage and one of them gives her treats through the bars without incident.

It has been suggested to do "pass the birdie". How do I even start? I know she will bite them immediately. I can't do that to my 9 year old who is terrified of her.

Wing clipping has been suggested, I am not even sure that is legal in my country. Tailclipping/earclipping in dogs is illegal for example.

 

[plumsmum2005]

Have you read Steven, SailBoats Amazon sticky? http://www.parrotforums.com/amazons/65119-i-love-amazons-going-journey-6.html

You can also try when she is in a good mood to try and play warm potato with her, she is passed around hand to hand giving plenty of praise and treats as you go. Each person talks to her calmly - it is important that anyone who has mega nerves of doing this overcomes them first.

She is protecting you from them! Are the boys being boisterous when this happens? They can in the mean time just go to her cage calmly talk to her and offer a treat, slowly does it.

You can tell her it is not on and return her to her cage straight away.

Put a chair next to her cage and ask him to be calm and just do something quietly next to her cage, if she comes to see what is going on ask him to speak to her. "Hi Yoshi, what you doing?", etc etc. They are needing to build a bond and trust with her, she sees something else there at the present.

I will not ask you to wing clip any more than I would ask you to cut your toes off!

 

[SailBoat]

As you may recall in one of your earliest Threads, I suggested that each member of the family needed to sit and read the sticky Thread by Birdman666 as a means of everyone to understand body language. Then, with your boys, selective section of I Love Amazons - ... that would help them understand the Living and Loving Amazons.

It is very likely that you will need to translate them so that your boys are more comfortable reading out-loud. Reading out-loud helps both to feel more comfortable being around each other.

My Good Friend well stated: "She is protecting you from them!" That has developed with a combination of your extended time with her and their being active children and not having the same time.

With everyone else in the family and you - Its time to start from the beginning introducing each other and taking the edge off the current interactions and establishing for your Amazon that everyone is a member of this flock and everyone in the flock must get along.

Working with your Amazon and your children when they had been younger and sometimes even today, uses the same interaction and parenting tools.

You may not be able to play pass the Birdie the first day. But is an obtainable goal! There is likely always going to be a stronger relationship with you. But, there is no reason that each member of the family cannot have a good relationship. When everyone is in involved with the Amazons, then everyone is part of the flock!

The reality of raising children and Amazons, is that occasionally you have to assure that everyone understands the rules and that everyone does their part in helping each other!

 

[YoshiSwe]

Yes, thank you. They cannot read that text because they have only just started learning English in school. But I have explained a lot of it to them.
And I have followed your advice regarding having them sit by her and talk to her.
They have also watched Barbara Heidenreich videos which I have translated for them.

I guess I am just wondering how to take that step from having them near her when she is in the cage and when she is out of it.
Today I have had my younger son in the room, calmly watching a movie, wearing headphones. I figured she can't bite his ears then and she did just fly to the couch and sat 30 cms away from him and looked OK. Didn't go closer and didn't appear agitated so I guess that is an improvement.

I agree that it is time to work on her acceptance of my sons, I am just very very scared they will get hurt. It is my responsibility to keep my children safe. But I want her to be a part of the whole family and I want her to be able to be out of her cage as much as possible, around us.

I guess it will take time. Oddly enough she never attacks or bites my mother when she comes around, she really likes her and lets her scratch her and makes happy noises.

 

[plumsmum2005]

It is strange but quite a few animals are very unsure of human kids. Take it slow, she has to learn to trust them too.

Perhaps pay attention to the difference in body language between your Mum's interactions with her and your kids, see if anything can be learnt?

 

[Kiwibird]

It sounds like your children are fairly young, so handling (especially if scared of the bird) may not be a good idea at this time until some trust is built on both ends. I think it would be a great idea if they gently read out loud to her for a while every day individually. Parrots don't speak any human language, so it doesn't matter what they read (maybe a book they're reading for school would be fine). In fact, it could be a good activity for them to do some of their homework in the room with her, since they'd be calm and quiet for that and they'd be a passive element in the room if they weren't directly interacting with her so she could observe them and get used to them while they were doing a calm activity.

And if she ever does bites them, it'll heal up. Kids heal even faster than adults do! I grew up around large parrots from birth and was bitten bad enough to draw blood/remove a chunk on several occasions as a kid. Just like learning to ride a bike and skinning your knee badly when you fall off, you get them right back to the task at hand after the wound is patched up (and bird has calmed down). At least, that's what my parents always did. I grew up still loving parrots, despite getting my fair share of bad bites from them. Even my worst parrot bite was no worse than any of the other injuries I got growing up as a rough playing child!