Toxic Household...


New member
Jun 23, 2021
New York City
Sun Conure and Umbrella Cockatoo
Hello all.
I just want to come here to the “off topic” forum and just write this thread as a way to vent and cope with what I’m feeling right now. It’s a way of expressing my feelings onto paper but really, it’s on a screen for now.
I don’t plan to make this a long thread because I’m kind of tired but I just don’t feel like I want to live here despite me being 19 and fully capable of moving out, I can’t because of money issues and parents being over controlling.
I live in a quite dysfunctional family where my brother is so unwelcomed simply because he got married to who he loved and got kicked out by my parents. Who knows that some parents can be so cruel to their own flesh and blood and still hate on them even though that’s your own child. And you couldn’t tolerate his own decisions that he’s making AS AN ADULT. That’s just sad to me.
Now that he’s gone, all the pressure is on me to finish college, (my brother dropped out) and to do something with my life that I’m not even that fond of doing. All just because I’m being forced to do it, no one asked if that what I wanted to do. All my parents want out of me is to be proof to my brother that college equals success since he dropped out and they’re still holding grudges. I just simply don’t agree with that ideology. It’s so flawed.
My parents don’t hit me, but they’re emotionally abusive. They still are to my brother as well. And he’a having a baby with his wife and how could they just wish bad for the child like that? Someone who isn’t even born yet? That’s disgusting. I’m just glad I’ll be moving out very soon. To be honest, my father is not terrible like my mother is but they both still have a lot of work to do on healing and letting go of the past because they both have super toxic moments. And I mean toxic. Like you’d be scared for them. I’m just so so so glad I have 2 birds who understand me as I go through this. My sun conure sometimes just watches me haha. But my umbrella cockatoo has bonded to me so much that he kind of knows what I’m feeling in the moment and I know this because when I’m sad, he just looks at me and comes to me to make me feel better I think. He just comes and hangs out on me every time he sees me cry or knows something isn’t right. It’s beautiful. I’ve never seen such a thing out of an animal before... or felt such a connection


Well-known member
Aug 18, 2017
New Jersey
Levi - 5 yr old CAG

I'm sorry you have to go through this and very happy you have your birds to help manage your stress.
Parrots are very tuned into our emotions. I'm glad they aren't responding aggressively as many do in a stressful household.

Look for the positives, there is always a positive to be found in every situation. What you are experiencing will make you stronger if you don't allow it to keep you down. It is unfortunate, but you can overcome anything, if you put your mind to it. Gravitate towards positive influences in your life and only engage in your 'toxic' environment when you must. Don't push back or fight with your parents. It is what it is. If you continue to fight them, it will only make your situation worse. Believe it not, there's more growth that comes out of bad situations. It builds character. (IMHO)

You may think your parents are awful for wanting you to finish your studies, but I don't see it that way. A good education & degree will indeed open more doors for you as you make your way into adulthood & the world. In this argument, your parents do want what's best for you. You may not see it now, but one day you will.

Keep your chin up and find a healthy way to navigate your current situation.
Best of luck to you! ♥️


Staff member
Super Moderator
Aug 21, 2010
San Diego, California USA, Earth, Milky Way Galaxy
Goffins: Gabby, Abby, Squeaky, Peanut, Popcorn / Citron: Alice / Eclectus: Angel /Timneh Grey: ET / Blue Fronted Amazon: Gonzo /

RIP Gandalf and Big Bird, you are missed.
Welcome, respect for trusting the community with your circumstances. Late teens a time of transition, thankfully you perceive relief ahead and hopefully a bright future! You've identified parental dynamics placing undue burdens on one or more siblings, often from pov of genuine love and vicarious living through offspring.

Parrots, particularly cockatoos, are extraordinarily empathic. Savor the bonds and unconditional love, reward your flock with perpetual care!

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