Tragic death of my Conure, my birdie girl this week so heartbroken

[picardk123]

I’m hurting so bad at her tragic loss on Tuesday morning. My 16 yo son calls me at work devastated, in shock and crying as he found her crushed by his side. I had forgotten to close his bedroom door and she went to cuddle him in bed. I’m so heartbroken and mad at myself for this. She was my precious baby girl ( im a mom of 3 sons) and had a very strong bond with her. I’m crying like I have never in my life and I’ve had heartbreaks and went through a divorce. A piece of my heart is missing, my home feels empty. I pull in the driveway and start to ball because I can no longer hear her noises as she recognized my engin. I had a total meltdown in the shower as she loved to go down my towel and shower too. I just call out her name in the house and long to feel her on me for cuddles. So difficult. My son is also heartbroken as he was also always with her. We will eventually get another bird but the pain right now is too intense. Thank you for your stories. I know sharing our pain helps us through grieving.

 

[LaManuka]

You sound like me. Baci my green cheeked conure was my baby, he was everything to me. At only 5 years old it just never occurred to me that I would lose him. Yet he contracted pancreatitis and started showing symptoms over a weekend when bird vets are closed. A non-bird vet had a look at him and couldn’t find anything wrong but suggested we take him to our regular vet first thing Monday, which we fully intended to do anyway. By that time however he was becoming ataxic and much more ill. My bird vet is extremely good and I left him there fairly confident that Baci would be ok. My husband had to take an interstate trip for work so I was left by myself in the house waiting for news from the vet. As the hours dragged on i got a feeling in my gut that Baci wasn’t going to make it. The vet called the next morning to say he had died in the night, in the clinic all alone, probably wondering where I was. I’ve never been so heartbroken and devastated in my life. I don’t know how I got through the next few months at work because I’d break down and cry multiple times a day in the office, as well as on the bus to and from. Eventually after months of blaming myself over and over and suffering frightening panic attacks in the night where things got very scary indeed I sought medical help, mostly to help me sleep and short circuit those panic attacks, and that has helped enormously.

I still desperately miss my baby Baci and I always will. He is buried in my garden in a spot that’s just outside my living room window - he’s about as close to me as possible but in the garden. If we ever move from this house I will pop him in a plant pot and bring him with us. The kind of grief you are experiencing is normal among those of us who have been privileged to share our lives with these extraordinary creatures. I’m lucky I have an incredible husband to support me, and when things get really scary I also have an excellent and very empathetic doctor. If your doctor isn’t particularly understanding of your situation go find one that is! I will always cry over my baby boy and I don’t know if I’ll ever get over his loss but with my loving husband here and a little medicinal help I’ve managed to get through the worst of it, and I sincerely hope you and your family do too.

 

[picardk123]

To LaManuka
Thank you for sharing your story with me. I cried feeling your pain as I read. I know how you feel and sympathize with you. We are so attached to these precious creatures and have a strong bond. That’s why I decided to look for a place to share my grief with people who understand the pain. I Keep playing my son’s call in my head with his devastated voice and me falling on my knees breaking down at work when he told me she was dead. The emotional pain is intense. I’ve barely been able to eat or sleep. I did go do my yoga twice since and cry there too.
I took a day off work this week to stay home with my son to grieve with him and to bury her. I made a memorial frame including some of her feathers and the children (i have 3 teenage son, the middle one was very attached to Anana. I miss my baby girl terribly. My name is Karen Picard if you want to be in touch on FB.
Thank you so much for sharing

 

[AmyMyBlueFront]

Karen..I am so soo soooo sorry for your loss! :17: I lost Smokey,my precious...precious TAG back in 2015 after her being my best friend for twenty-eight years.
We have a member,"GaleriaGila" (Gail is her name) who dose AMAZING portraits not only of fid's,but every other precious creature you could think of!
Gail is immensely talented and has done MANY paintings of members animals. She has painted the three fid's that have been in my life for over thirty years!
I think Gail has a link here somewhere to her gallery. I strongly advice to take a look at her work!

Again....I am so so sorry for your loss! :17:


Jim

 

[GaleriaGila]

I read your threads, and my heart ached for you, truly. We've all made potentially tragic mistakes (I KNOW I HAVE!) and happenstance and good luck usually saves us. Not this time, for you, but...

When you and your family are ready to love another bird, it will be a very lucky one.

I'm glad you're here.

 

[LaManuka]

Thank you Karen, your memorial sounds like a lovely idea. I haven’t been able to do that for my boy, he’s been gone since last August but his photos and videos are still too much for me I’m afraid. Kinda why most of my posts on the forum are of the madcap loony-tunes variety, gives me something more positive to think about.

This is another reason that this forum is invaluable, you will be surrounded by people who have had similar experiences and can share in your pain and support you in your grief. And for some comic relief you can always flip through the zany adventures of the Rickeybird or Kevin in Greytown amongst others, many’s the time I’ve been sobbing on the bus on my way to work, only to read the latest Rickeybird post and end up snorting with laughter through the tears! It’s great therapy.

Unfortunately I’m not a Facebook gal but you’ll find the more posts you contribute here, then you’ll get “personal message” privileges and you can message other members away from the public forum. Easiest way to bump up your number of posts is thru the Games Room, you’ll be a Senior Member will all sorts of privileges before you know it!

Meantime be kind to yourselves during this difficult time, and you have thousands of new friends here who are only too happy to give of themselves to help you through the tough times, they sure did do that for me

 

[picardk123]

Thank you so much! I’m truly finding comfort and understanding here. Its a safe place to grieve.