Unhappy ending for 2nd parrot

[Robyn]

We were offered a 2nd eclectus just 3 months younger than our Jack, beautiful little boy. It took a lot of coaxing from this guy as I insisted I couldn't take him. Fell in love with him and so did my hubby when I introduced him during a visit with us, waited for hubby to come home from work to see him before I took him back home.
The guy then said he had to come to me, being close to his home and he saw how much I cooed over him. Hubby agreed to take him too.
Just before we purchased the cage, the guy backed out saying ' think he is calming down ( I offered as much help as I could about his screaming so he could keep him ). So we let it go.
About 3 days later I get a frantic phone call, 'please come take him, we can't look after him anymore'. I kept asking ' are you absolutely positive ? ' . He agreed and we and collected him, bought his cage the same day and set it all up... bought his new 3 level cage, shower perch , everything.... The guy has now claimed him back.
Was very upset as I never pushed this, the guy did. I got a call about 4 or 5 days ago begging for me to come and collect him, he couldn't look after him anymore.
I collected him, bought his cage same day, hubby set it all up, purchased other equipment still arriving in the mail.
Then I kept getting text on my phone asking how he is or he forget to tell me what else he likes.
Finally yesterday afternoon came the upsetting text asking for him back, even offered to pay for everything we bought him.
I was soooo upset I couldn't talk to him, told him to speak with hubby who got very attached to this parrot.
We initially said he couldn't have him back then decided he could come and see how happy he is.
I stayed in another room with my own parrot, didn't want to see him, hubby spoke with, the guy took the parrot home.
We didn't want any money to compensate for what we bought or what is still on it's way, we were just concerned for the parrot.
We have kept all the equipment, hubby has told him that if he were to change his mind again and needs him to go to a good home that he can bring him back, the condition being he will not be returned.
This upset me so much, had me in tears. Took a lot of coaxing for this guy to convince me to take him, he backed out the 1st time just before we got the cage, then rings and begs to come collect him the 2nd time.
I can't be an emotional yo yo for this sort of thing , at the same understanding how much he missed him.
Has anybody had this happen ???

 

[critterman]

So sorry for your bad experience. The man should have thought the whole process through before you got the parrot from him. It isn't fair to you or the parrot. Sorry to say but I don't know if I would have given him back. I hope you find another parrot that needs a lot of love. I hope he decides to let you have the parrot back again!

 

[Robyn]

I do hope he changes his mind, but if he does this time I will definitely stand my ground. You can't do that to a person or the poor parrot.
I can totally understand that he missed him like hell and we were soooo much more than fair.
Even to the point of not getting him to pay for anything we bought him. We now have a 3 level massive cage here, table top perch and other things arriving in the mail.
My hubby doesn't want to get another parrot, we were talked into taking this one.
This is very upsetting because what the guy was telling me about not being able to look after him, when we can. The poor parrot has no confidence at all, has never flown ever and is 2 yrs old. My hubby was setting up things for him to be more mobile to try and encourage him, we were hoping to teach him to fly, even if just a little when his wings grew back.
He should have thought this through much more.
Am I wrong to say to him, ' you cannot have him back ' if he brings him back again ??

 

[suebee]

personally i'll make it so clear that if he decides he needs to give up the parrot again HE WILL NOT GET IT BACK! and you are only taking it in on a forever basis, you are not a free boarding house

for the simple reason i think the guy is rather selfish, putting his own needs first, which i understand as i would have the same feelings if i needed to give up the nut, but i would make sure my resolve remains

 

[andrea.faerie]

I think you should write up a contract. a legal contract with a friend or neighbor or something there to sign as well as a secondary witness. Obviously if this man doesn't even know if he wants the bird, he shouldn't have the bird.

 

[mtdoramike]

You were nice, I would have refused to give him back. Once he turned him over to you, he became your bird. That is unless you made some prior deal where if he changed his mind he could come and get him back. I'm not thinking of you in this instance, I'm thinking more of the poor yo yo treatment the bird is getting.

My question to you is, why did he want to rehome him in the first place, and have those things changed in that short of time? That is something I would have wanted to know before I would have even considered giving him back. He could have just missed him terribly, or he may have found someone who is willing to give him quite a bit of money for him.

I do feel bad for you and hate to see this happen. Please don't consider taking this bird again if he is offered to you. I would pass, you have already found out this guy is a welcher.

Oh, the reason I would have told the guy to pound sand had he wanted the bird back is because I get very attached pretty quickly to animals. This is why I wouldn't even consider fostering an animal, I would wind up adopting everyone I fostered.

 

[TeakwoodBirdHouse]

When I take in my rescues, I have the people sign the bird over to me. Then, if things change, I have a written, signed statement that they do not want, and cannot take back, this bird. It is not a real contract, but, birds are legally considered property, and by signing it over, they give up any future claims on it. You should do the same. And if he calls back, he cannot get the bird without hiring a lawyer. That'll stop him. Good luck.

 

[Pedro]

This is very upsetting because what the guy was telling me about not being able to look after him, when we can. The poor parrot has no confidence at all, has never flown ever and is 2 yrs old. My hubby was setting up things for him to be more mobile to try and encourage him, we were hoping to teach him to fly, even if just a little when his wings grew back.

Just because this birds wings are clipped does not mean he is negected or mistreated at all. It's the owners personal choice. And as far as the bird having no confidence, that wasn't how you described this bird, from your very first post on this matter the reason the guy was giving him up was because he was screaming. And that this bird was super super placid ...Your words not mine...

You know i feel this guy really loves this bird & he has from the beginning had doubts about rehoming him.

Robyn, I have been in your position more times than i can count. The first was the eclectus, he was bought to me because he screamed 24/7. I could clearly see they were struggling with the behavior so offered to help. I took the bird for some weeks & after seeing there wasn't a problem with the bird i sent him home with instructions but in no time at all the bad behavior had returned so i was then asked to keep him. And i still have him to this very day, lets just say he has his moments. I let his wings grow & placed him in the aviary with his own species. The other is a SC Too same circumstances. I did end up with him as well but it was a process that took a few months back & forwards. His owners just could not control him. He is fine with us.

If i was in your shoes i would give this guy as much support as possible. He needs to find out why his bird is screaming & reinforce a more positive behavior & i would get him to read through these sites.

https://companionparrotonline.com/Member_Articles.html

Parrot Behavior Problems | Positive Bird Training

Both the above sites have a wealth of information.

 

[dragonlady2]

Excellent post Pedro!!

 

[Robyn]

I won't be posting on this site again. Some of the posts have been very upsetting and has had me in tears.
I may not have said everything because I had said in a couple of other posts and didn't want to be writing a novel.
Yes, I said the bird was super placid, yes when I met him in HIS own home in his environment with HIS owner !! He came to us, in our home, new family, new faces and new environment is not as super placid OK .
the guy kept begging for me to take him , he said " because his screams are loud, I'm shift worker and I'm about to start uni, I have NO time for him, YOU would be doing me a big favor, I need him to go to a good home, I don't care about the money I care about his future !!!!! '
When somebody says that you start to rethink the NO !!
Now I NEVER at any point EVER said because he is clipped that must mean he is neglected !!!!!!!! I know it's a personal choice and he told me why after I got him , ok !!!!!
He lost a bird once before, unclipped and since then has clipped his birds, but he does have a galah that can fly around the house and he has 2 other birds and just bought a baby Jack Russell that HE said is taking up a lot of his time !!!!!
I never said being clipped means he is neglected, what worried me was, he is 2 and was NEvER given a chance to fly !!!!!!!! Which gave him no confidence to move very far at allll.
My husband was getting attached to this parrot and he was making him ladders all over the house to encourage him to be mobile !!!!! Okkk, I never at any time said this bird was being neglected because he was clipped !!!!!
Don't ever assume, I had other posts in here and a lot was written in the others.
And when he came to us the guy said ' He HAS NO INTEREST in flying ' which we thought was strange because when Jack flew overhead it looked like the poor thing wanted to take off and at time would SCREAM !!! So this tells me he had an interest but didn't know how !!!
We did all we could to encourage him to KEEP him, that's why he backed out the first time, said he was trying what I said and it seemed to be working. That's when he rang a few days later and BEGGED me to take him.
The guy wouldnt stop sending me messages to my phone on how to look after him, his likes,dislikes etc, which is total understandable. I even sent him an email with what we were doing, attaching a spiral ladder to his play stand to encourage him to move, photos of my bird and his together. He wrote a message to my phone in reply ' I'm so glad he has gone to you, now I'm happy '. Then about 2 days later he is taken back. I dont believe this guy want a money from anybody for him I just believe he can't part from him and to top it off his wife HATES this bird. Because in HIS words ' I don't give her attention '.
So a shift worker, about to start uni, with 2 little birds a flying galah, and a baby jack Russell and a wife screaming for attention , the guy told me himself he was going nuts.
We just tried our best to do the right thing by the Parrot and got talked into this. And to top it off, we bought a lot of things, a 3 level cage and other things still coming in the mail and my husband didn't ask for the money for it even though the guy offered to pay for it. INSTEAD my poor husband told this man if he needs to find him a home he is welcome to bring him back as we have everything on the condition that he is not returned.
I won be posting in here again, I've joined another site.
Don't ever assume everything for yourself, now I have written a novel so hopefully this is a little clearer !
Thank you to those who did help me, much appreciated.

 

[MikeyTN]

There's no need to leave just because you don't like someone's answer....we'll never completely agree with one another. But Pedro made some valid point! The guy probably regret it, imagine your own, put yourself in his shoes. It's like giving away your child. I know your hurt by this, main reason I always purchase or made the owner sign it over to me..

 

[Pedro]

Robyn I am so sorry you have become so emotionally involved with this bird & I commend you on trying to help, I truly do. But it is so easy for me to see both sides of the picture & being in the same place myself a number of times, I never let myself get attached to anyones bird until I know it's truly mine.

In the last year I have been asked to take 2 Amazons & a male eclectus. After many hours of my time, phone calls & emails the owners rehomed them with someone else. That was so disappointing because i would have loved to have the Amazons. But it wasn't to be. It happens but i am not loosing any sleep over it.

I may also add that i was in the same position once I had to rehome a Black Too i got when he was 10 weeks old. He was my bird for 5 years. Back then i didn't have the knowledge i now have & i can tell you i agonised over my decision for many months before i finally made up my mind. He is now in a happy place & has a hen. I would also contact the people he is with now & tell them i was bring him over. They were lovely about it all & realised it was a decision that was really hard for me to make. Do i have regrets yes sometimes, did i make the right decision yes i think so.

So Robyn I am not coming down hard on you at all & i certianly wasn't judging you either. No one was. And i am sorry you feel that way.

Like i also said in one of my earlier posts if your meant to have this bird, it will come to you.

 

[critterman]

Robyn I am again so sorry for your sad misfortune. I still feel the man should have thought it all thru before he gave you the bird. You make some very valid points about his work schedule and not being able to give the bird the time it needs. He should have exhausted all his options before he gave the bird to you. Once the bird was in your home it was YOURS. Again so sorry! Please remember we all love our birds in here and we don't always agree with each other over some things but all in all everyone here is very nice and caring people. Please don't leave and continue to share your experience with us. Hope all works out for you and the poor little parrot. Critterman

 

[DukesAquarium]

I don't think you should have given the bird back, since the guy clearly gave up the bird.
I really think he was offered a good amount of money that's why he wanted it back, in a month go and see if he still has the bird! I guarantee you he sold it

 

[mrob]

Whoa. That was a pretty emotionally charged response to what I thought was a well thought and polite post by Pedro...
Not everyone is going to agree with you every time, and the most you can ask for is that they respect your right to have an opinion while retaining their own. No one has attacked you... And you are on a discussion forum. By extension, you should expect some discussion.
I really hope it works out for this Bird and yourselves. You obviously grew to love him very much, and made the committment to give him a home, and you have been badly hurt by what happened.