ruffledfeathers
New member
I am just having one of those sad, tearful moments of remembering Georgie and everything we didn't get to do!! Things i had planned that didn't happen. Things i wanted to "make up to her". I guess i'm feeling sad and remorseful and maybe even 'guilty' at the same time.
I had no idea she would die at 11 years old!! She was healthy and i expected many many more opportunites for special times with her.
She barely got outside this summer because it was SO hot and muggy. I was waiting for the weather to break a little (like it finally did shortly after her death). She loved being outside.
Sometimes i overprotected her and didn't let her do things she really wanted to do, because i wanted her to be totally safe. Yet, she died of an accident in her own cage when i was at work. I have that regret of "i should have let her have so much more fun and not been so protective!"
When she first died, i was actually overwhelmed with these feelings, but then i tried to put it in perspective. She was loved very much. She loved me very much. We had fun together (i wish we had more fun together, but unfortunately i work full time).
But every so often, my heart just breaks and i can't control the tears when i think of everything i wish i could tell her right now. How i wish i could hug her little face and say "you are such a pretty girl!" and hear her happy hiss as she kisses me. How terrible i feel that she died all alone! Oddly enough, i was sick that day and wanted to be home from work but my job was too demanding and i had to go. (I think "if only i had been home, she may still be here!")
I know all this is natural but i just wanted to "let it out". I miss her so much and never even realized when she was living HOW MUCH i loved her!
I had no idea she would die at 11 years old!! She was healthy and i expected many many more opportunites for special times with her.
She barely got outside this summer because it was SO hot and muggy. I was waiting for the weather to break a little (like it finally did shortly after her death). She loved being outside.
Sometimes i overprotected her and didn't let her do things she really wanted to do, because i wanted her to be totally safe. Yet, she died of an accident in her own cage when i was at work. I have that regret of "i should have let her have so much more fun and not been so protective!"
When she first died, i was actually overwhelmed with these feelings, but then i tried to put it in perspective. She was loved very much. She loved me very much. We had fun together (i wish we had more fun together, but unfortunately i work full time).
But every so often, my heart just breaks and i can't control the tears when i think of everything i wish i could tell her right now. How i wish i could hug her little face and say "you are such a pretty girl!" and hear her happy hiss as she kisses me. How terrible i feel that she died all alone! Oddly enough, i was sick that day and wanted to be home from work but my job was too demanding and i had to go. (I think "if only i had been home, she may still be here!")
I know all this is natural but i just wanted to "let it out". I miss her so much and never even realized when she was living HOW MUCH i loved her!
I remember feeling so guilty when I lost my Westie, Pete. Pete was very stubborn dog, having seizures at all hour of the day at teh end and I could have had more patience. Guilt is usually part of the grieving process because we are looking for a reason or someone to blame at some level. But like you said you loved him and he loved you and is all that really mattered. I hope you start feeling better soon, in time you will and you will always remember him and all the good stuff.
