Yesterday, while out of town at a Conference, I found out by phone call that I lost my best friend for almost the past 10 years, and moreover, the best friend I've ever had. She appeared completely happy and healthy 3 days ago. About 9 and a half years ago I received Bird, a beautiful female lutino cockatiel, from an ex who lost interest after getting a dog. I took Bird in and will never be able to repay her for what she gave me over nearly the next decade. She went through 5 moves, a couple very difficult relationships, a job, medical school, more than half of my residency, marriage, and the birth of my first child with me. I know for sure I wouldn't have been able to make it without the love, joy and support she always gave me, without fail or expectation.
When I dropped her off on 10/14, I took her out of her cage, pet her, kissed her, she kissed me and I told her I'd see her in a few days. I immediately left my conference on getting the phone call from the family member who was watching her. She had died at about noon on 10/16. I got in at about 2:30AM to see her. She still looked beautiful as she laid there, the life left from her little body. I took her outside with me and couldn't stop crying, trying to thank her for everything she gave me and to say my final goodbyes. I told her how sorry I was that I missed her final moments, that I wish I had been there, that maybe I'd have noticed something and been able to save her, because I thought we still had another 9 wonderful years together. I buried my face in her poor chest and told her I'd never forget her, I would think of her every single day for the rest of my life. I kissed her one last time before putting her in a little shoebox.
I made arrangements today for a private cremation and dropped her off at the animal hospital shortly after. I've been a mess ever since and can't stop crying knowing that she isn't going to be watching football with me tomorrow, she won't be preparing for my work week on my shoulder every Sunday night. She won't be standing at the top of the shower with me spreading her wings to take in the mist. She won't be falling asleep against my neck while I'm reading. She gave me so much and kept me so strong, never demanding anything in return. I feel lost without my best friend. I am going to plan something special with her ashes, maybe holding on to her until I have my house I plan to live in forever and spread her ashes in a garden I can visit. I feel so much for all of you who have gone through losing their feathered best friends, it is truly one of the hardest things I can imagine in life.
When I dropped her off on 10/14, I took her out of her cage, pet her, kissed her, she kissed me and I told her I'd see her in a few days. I immediately left my conference on getting the phone call from the family member who was watching her. She had died at about noon on 10/16. I got in at about 2:30AM to see her. She still looked beautiful as she laid there, the life left from her little body. I took her outside with me and couldn't stop crying, trying to thank her for everything she gave me and to say my final goodbyes. I told her how sorry I was that I missed her final moments, that I wish I had been there, that maybe I'd have noticed something and been able to save her, because I thought we still had another 9 wonderful years together. I buried my face in her poor chest and told her I'd never forget her, I would think of her every single day for the rest of my life. I kissed her one last time before putting her in a little shoebox.
I made arrangements today for a private cremation and dropped her off at the animal hospital shortly after. I've been a mess ever since and can't stop crying knowing that she isn't going to be watching football with me tomorrow, she won't be preparing for my work week on my shoulder every Sunday night. She won't be standing at the top of the shower with me spreading her wings to take in the mist. She won't be falling asleep against my neck while I'm reading. She gave me so much and kept me so strong, never demanding anything in return. I feel lost without my best friend. I am going to plan something special with her ashes, maybe holding on to her until I have my house I plan to live in forever and spread her ashes in a garden I can visit. I feel so much for all of you who have gone through losing their feathered best friends, it is truly one of the hardest things I can imagine in life.
