Goodnight Babygirl

Goodbye Babygirl
I can't have children due to a hysterectomy when i was young. I decided to buy an Orange winged Amazon as a life companion to fufill the gap in my life. Recently she suddenly became ill. As it was bank holiday, I couldn't find an avian vet, i tried 4 different counties. Normal vets didn't want to know due to lack of experience 'their words'. Unfortunately, at only eight years old, she died in my arms that night. it is the most heart wrenching experience of my entire life. I don't have a human flock, parents etc and I can't create my own. So Marlie and my dogs are my family and I have just lost a member of my family. The grief is overwhleming, even more than when my partner died suddenly.
Marlie had the best of everything, food, fresh and dry, toys, the biggest cage on the market, tons of attention and love but can't help blaming myself or wondering if I did something wrong. I have no idea how she died. In my grief and haziness I just wanted to bury her.
No one seems to understand the close relationship between human and parrot and the strong bond that Marlie and I had.
Marlie was an exception and the a perfect parrot and such a good little girl. She had never bitten anybody. She had never been destructive ever. Although fully flighted, she chose not too and was the most placid parrot I have ever met (I used to work in a reptile and parrot shop, so have met plenty). For most of her life she was a boy, she was sold as male. Last year she laid 2 eggs so luckily she had a unisex name.
Boy or girl, I loved Marlie more thatn anything in the world and she was my little ray of sunshine in my tragedy filled life and I don't know how to start to overcome her going. My friends suggest speaking to a bereavement counsellor but I don't want to be ridiculed by their lack of understanding.
Marlie was fine on the monday until tea time, her eyes became half closed and she was slumping. As soon as I realised something was wrong, I tried to get her help, she died within hours of showing she was unwell.

I am so very sorry for your loss. Many do not understand the bond we have with our birds or their bond with us. It is so very special and magical. I am sorry you did not have any vet care available. I wish you could have had a necropsy done to help you have some closure. Marlie obviously was a very special girl and was greatly loved. I am sure she knew this. There are animal grief counselors available. You may want to do a search for info. It does help to talk to those that understand. I hope you find peace in your heart and only have wonderful memories of Marlie.
Fly free sweet Marlie, fly high and free.

I am also very sorry for your loss. I just lost my amazon last Friday. If it helps I completely understand how you feel right now. The house is so silent and lonely, everytime I come home I just cry. I have never had such a close bond to an animal before. Parrots certainly have a special way of becoming part of the family. I hope in time we can both feel better.
Fly free little Marlie

Marlie was so fortunate to have a loving and caring guardian.
A bird is so fragile, some sickness only shows signs at the very last moment. Questions will be unanswered, we don't always understand, but have to accept it.
The death of a bird, is so similar to that of a death of a child. They creep into your heart, a place they will remain in forever. They say a dog is a man's best friend, I beg to differ. Marlie was your best friend, always there for you, never judging you. You have the most wonderful memories, to be treasured forever.
Many guardians, on this forum, me included, have lost our beloved fid's, we understand, the feeling of emptiness.
If you need to chat, ask questions please go ahead, we will help you wherever possible.
Take care
Fly free Marlie

I am so very sorry for your loss.

We understand fully the bond between bird and guardian.

I have dogs a cat and a bunny as well and although I love them to distraction, the bond with my bird is something else.

Not many people will understand, but that's ok. It just makes what you had with Marlie even more special in my opinion.

It is terrible she left you so unexpectedly but you did everything in your power to get help. It sounds as if there would be nothing anyone could have done to prevent her death, it was just so sadly her time.

You were obviously a wonderful guardian and she would have known you loved her so much.

Fly free and have no pain little Marlie, you were a very special girl and Mummy loved you very much.

Hi there.

My heart breaks for you, I do know exactly what you are going through as I recently lost my best bud also. Unlike you I do know why he died and it doesn't make it any easier so please don't beat yourself up as it wasn't your fault. I did see a grief counselor for a few weeks and it was a little helpful, but I found volunteering my time at a local aviary has really helped me with my grief.

This entire forum is extremely understanding of what you are feeling, they certainly have helped in my time of need when no one in my personal life would so you've come to the right place.

I wish you well and hope you keep in touch to let us know how you're doing.

Thank for the advice, I have e-mailed my nearest bird sanctuary and hopefully they will take me on as a volunteer and I hope this heeds my grief a bit. Thank you.xxx