freshprincess87
Active member
I am sorry that I have not posted on this forum since last year. Life had gotten difficult, I was facing the prospect of leaving the flock behind (still am despite not actually wanting to at all) due to various reasons but mainly relationship issues. However, this post isn't about that. It's about my dear Asha, the lovebird, who died suddenly this past Tuesday. I joined this forum in 2016 because of her. I also joined Tailfeathers forum as well because of her. I ended up mostly posting on tail feathers until 2019. I came back to find it merged with parrotforums last year to post about my grief over ducks being murdered here. If there is anyone here who regularly posted on tailfeathers, you will know the journey my Asha was on. She had a hard life but she thrived. I miss my friends there. And I value the new ones I communicated with last year. It just felt too painful to come back on here when I was facing the prospect of not seeing the birds again. I'm still around though. I wrote a letter to Asha yesterday. It describes my memories with her from the start. And her life. I am beyond devastated and heartbroken to have lost her. She was extremely special. She started the bird journey. Her and her original friends. I feel so heartbroken and alone in my grief. No one understands the loss of a bird. Before her death, when I was expressing concern about never seeing some of them again, someone actually said they're just birds and are replaceable. NO THEY ARE NOT. THEY ARE UNIQUE AND HAVE THEIR OWN UNIQUE PERSONALITIES. This is my letter to Asha. I apologise if my post is too long.
To my dear sweet Asha: September 2016- 19 September 2023
I remember the day you arrived. It was in mid November 2016. I wasnāt expecting you. You were an unexpected joy that arrived. There were three of you in a box, sitting quietly in a row. You and your sister were green and your cousin was blue. Never did I think you would change my life forever, sweet girl. I watched you grow up. Not in height. But in colours, and in development. I watched your beak change colour as you matured. I saw you struggle and I saw the sadness in your eyes. I saw your emotions. You had a way of showing your feelings with your eyes. Whether you were angry or sad or happy. I knew how you were feeling.
When your sister learned how to fly, you became sad because you couldnāt yet. You had a cyst under your left wing. So your left wing wasnāt fully developed yet. I thank the vet who examined you thoroughly and felt the cyst and the vet who noted signs of injury. So when your sister, and cousin, and new friend as of two days later were flying, we set up a playground for you on the floor to play. And they joined you so you werenāt alone. Then we created ladders and curtains for you to climb, so you could get to the top just like them. And you thrived my sweet baby.
Your cyst burst eventually but you were ok. It was expected and out of cage time was limited for awhile, but then your wing finally grew in. And you finally learned how to fly. Of course you did it early in the morning by sneaking out of your house with your sister while I was still sleeping. But it was summer so morning light was pouring into your room already. So you were safe. And you thrived. And I watched you thrive.
I worried about you and your friends when you were at home alone. Iād just started University and had to travel 35 minutes away to another suburb for my exams every three months. I worried about you all that when he would drop me off, I would send him back to check on you. And then he would have to come back to pick me up. Oh it was a lot of petrol money though and probably tiring for him driving that much. But it was only every three months at the end of every semester and you were worth it.
You and your sister developed your hormones earlier than usual and you started laying eggs by 10 months old. So we made sure you got a lot of calcium. You and your sister could no longer live together after awhile though. So you became neighbours for some time. For Ashu so she could get better after her injury. And she did. It took awhile but she did. And you needed to be close to her because you always followed her everywhere and loved her dearly so you were her next door neighbour. And I gave up my bedroom for you and her, so you could both rest properly without feeling pressure to appear strong in front of the other birds when you just needed to rest. You enjoyed a lot of sun in there. And enjoyed watching the sparrows and blackbirds and pigeons out the window. I slept on a mattress on the floor of the lounge. For almost a year. But Iād have done ANYTHING for you. And you both thrived so you got to live together again and go back to your other friends in the bird room. They sure were happy to see you physically. They could hear you. But they sure did miss you.
And right now, nala is missing you a lot. I remember when nala first came with her friend. You didnāt like her because you thought she was going to steal your sister from you. So you showed her and you showed me with the anger in your eyes. Overtime, you two became good neighbours. And now she grieves you and is calling for you. Just like your sister ashu is.
.
We had a long journey together. 7 years. It was cut short too soon. And too abruptly. I didnāt get to say goodbye to you. I didnāt see you that morning. I was told you were ok. You probably were because you had been singing a lot lately. On your swing. My worst nightmare came true when I found you later that morning. Nala was hanging from her house and shouting for you to wake up. But you didnāt. No matter who else came here , I promised you and the originals that I would always prioritise you and do everything I can for you. And I did. And Iām doing everything I can now, for the ones left who are grieving you.
I hope you know how much you meant to me. When you couldnāt fly, I placed you on my shoulder and you stayed there. You didnāt like being handled. You never did and thatās ok. but you didnāt mind being on my shoulder. I fed you corn when you were sad as a baby and didnāt eat much. We hid inside a blanket together so you wouldnāt feel so scared to eat from my finger. Sometimes you tried to trick me by throwing the skin of the corn away and pretending you were eating it. But I saw through those tricks and managed to get you eating.
I made friends online because of you. I shared your journey on two parrot forums. Everyone knew who you were. I miss those friends as I havenāt interacted with them since 2019. Iāve found one of the forums still available online and even there, my first post was all about you in 2016 (this parrot forum here).
The photo of us with you on my shoulder will forever be my favourite. It shows real love. You changed me forever. I will never ever forget you. I will never ever forget our memories. Your eyes are always in my mind. And in my heart. I am heartbroken now. I want to be strong for the others, especially the originals who have been here as long as you have. But Iām extremely down without you here. What am I without you? What is my life without you? You became the reason I woke up each morning. You brought me so much joy. You made life worthwhile and worth living. I became excited to wake up to see you and the originals. Each day became beautiful. You taught me how to be strong too. Because you were strong. So strong, that I used to talk about you to other people when they were going through hard times. YOU were my example of strength. A little lovebird who overcame so much was an example to other human beings. I find myself begging you to come back. And so is ashu. She is not happy and is constantly tipping her bowls everywhere because sheās full of mixed emotions. Just like me. Iāve tried to distract her by surrounding her with the others but itās only a temporary fix. She feels the emptiness in her house too. And in her heart. Just like I feel it in my heart. How did something not even the size of my hand, steal my heart away? I am lost without you. I hope you know that you meant the WORLD to me. THE WORLD. I will never stop missing you and I will never forget you. I think you were at peace when you were here because I think it was an accident and not your time. You seemed fine happily singing during the day. I checked on you regularly. And your sister too. You both worried me the most because you plucked yourselves a lot. Ashu did it after her injury and felt itchy. But you did it because you saw her do it. You looked up to your big sister. I remember a week and a half ago I heard you make some strange noises at bedtime. It sounded like you were in pain. You did it a few nights in a row. Then you stopped. It sounded like pain and at the same time it sounded like you were mimicking the conure. We checked on you and when we did you talked regularly with your sister. I hope youāre also at peace now. Because I sure never will be without you. My life will never be the same without you. There should be another 7 years together. My sweet baby. You changed my world completely. I had never had animals in my life and then you and others came along and changed my life and outlook. I am forever grateful to have been able to help you thrive. Iāve no doubt that if someone else got you, you wouldnāt have lasted this long. But I still feel so down at your abrupt exit from this world. I am lost without you. Please let me know spiritually that you are ok my baby girl. Youāll always be my baby girl. ALWAYS.
I have attached her photos. I cry every time I look at her. She was my baby girl. the photo with two of them, she's at the front. Her sister, Ashu, is at the back. No one could tell them apart. But I learned very quickly.
To my dear sweet Asha: September 2016- 19 September 2023
I remember the day you arrived. It was in mid November 2016. I wasnāt expecting you. You were an unexpected joy that arrived. There were three of you in a box, sitting quietly in a row. You and your sister were green and your cousin was blue. Never did I think you would change my life forever, sweet girl. I watched you grow up. Not in height. But in colours, and in development. I watched your beak change colour as you matured. I saw you struggle and I saw the sadness in your eyes. I saw your emotions. You had a way of showing your feelings with your eyes. Whether you were angry or sad or happy. I knew how you were feeling.
When your sister learned how to fly, you became sad because you couldnāt yet. You had a cyst under your left wing. So your left wing wasnāt fully developed yet. I thank the vet who examined you thoroughly and felt the cyst and the vet who noted signs of injury. So when your sister, and cousin, and new friend as of two days later were flying, we set up a playground for you on the floor to play. And they joined you so you werenāt alone. Then we created ladders and curtains for you to climb, so you could get to the top just like them. And you thrived my sweet baby.
Your cyst burst eventually but you were ok. It was expected and out of cage time was limited for awhile, but then your wing finally grew in. And you finally learned how to fly. Of course you did it early in the morning by sneaking out of your house with your sister while I was still sleeping. But it was summer so morning light was pouring into your room already. So you were safe. And you thrived. And I watched you thrive.
I worried about you and your friends when you were at home alone. Iād just started University and had to travel 35 minutes away to another suburb for my exams every three months. I worried about you all that when he would drop me off, I would send him back to check on you. And then he would have to come back to pick me up. Oh it was a lot of petrol money though and probably tiring for him driving that much. But it was only every three months at the end of every semester and you were worth it.
You and your sister developed your hormones earlier than usual and you started laying eggs by 10 months old. So we made sure you got a lot of calcium. You and your sister could no longer live together after awhile though. So you became neighbours for some time. For Ashu so she could get better after her injury. And she did. It took awhile but she did. And you needed to be close to her because you always followed her everywhere and loved her dearly so you were her next door neighbour. And I gave up my bedroom for you and her, so you could both rest properly without feeling pressure to appear strong in front of the other birds when you just needed to rest. You enjoyed a lot of sun in there. And enjoyed watching the sparrows and blackbirds and pigeons out the window. I slept on a mattress on the floor of the lounge. For almost a year. But Iād have done ANYTHING for you. And you both thrived so you got to live together again and go back to your other friends in the bird room. They sure were happy to see you physically. They could hear you. But they sure did miss you.
And right now, nala is missing you a lot. I remember when nala first came with her friend. You didnāt like her because you thought she was going to steal your sister from you. So you showed her and you showed me with the anger in your eyes. Overtime, you two became good neighbours. And now she grieves you and is calling for you. Just like your sister ashu is.
.
We had a long journey together. 7 years. It was cut short too soon. And too abruptly. I didnāt get to say goodbye to you. I didnāt see you that morning. I was told you were ok. You probably were because you had been singing a lot lately. On your swing. My worst nightmare came true when I found you later that morning. Nala was hanging from her house and shouting for you to wake up. But you didnāt. No matter who else came here , I promised you and the originals that I would always prioritise you and do everything I can for you. And I did. And Iām doing everything I can now, for the ones left who are grieving you.
I hope you know how much you meant to me. When you couldnāt fly, I placed you on my shoulder and you stayed there. You didnāt like being handled. You never did and thatās ok. but you didnāt mind being on my shoulder. I fed you corn when you were sad as a baby and didnāt eat much. We hid inside a blanket together so you wouldnāt feel so scared to eat from my finger. Sometimes you tried to trick me by throwing the skin of the corn away and pretending you were eating it. But I saw through those tricks and managed to get you eating.
I made friends online because of you. I shared your journey on two parrot forums. Everyone knew who you were. I miss those friends as I havenāt interacted with them since 2019. Iāve found one of the forums still available online and even there, my first post was all about you in 2016 (this parrot forum here).
The photo of us with you on my shoulder will forever be my favourite. It shows real love. You changed me forever. I will never ever forget you. I will never ever forget our memories. Your eyes are always in my mind. And in my heart. I am heartbroken now. I want to be strong for the others, especially the originals who have been here as long as you have. But Iām extremely down without you here. What am I without you? What is my life without you? You became the reason I woke up each morning. You brought me so much joy. You made life worthwhile and worth living. I became excited to wake up to see you and the originals. Each day became beautiful. You taught me how to be strong too. Because you were strong. So strong, that I used to talk about you to other people when they were going through hard times. YOU were my example of strength. A little lovebird who overcame so much was an example to other human beings. I find myself begging you to come back. And so is ashu. She is not happy and is constantly tipping her bowls everywhere because sheās full of mixed emotions. Just like me. Iāve tried to distract her by surrounding her with the others but itās only a temporary fix. She feels the emptiness in her house too. And in her heart. Just like I feel it in my heart. How did something not even the size of my hand, steal my heart away? I am lost without you. I hope you know that you meant the WORLD to me. THE WORLD. I will never stop missing you and I will never forget you. I think you were at peace when you were here because I think it was an accident and not your time. You seemed fine happily singing during the day. I checked on you regularly. And your sister too. You both worried me the most because you plucked yourselves a lot. Ashu did it after her injury and felt itchy. But you did it because you saw her do it. You looked up to your big sister. I remember a week and a half ago I heard you make some strange noises at bedtime. It sounded like you were in pain. You did it a few nights in a row. Then you stopped. It sounded like pain and at the same time it sounded like you were mimicking the conure. We checked on you and when we did you talked regularly with your sister. I hope youāre also at peace now. Because I sure never will be without you. My life will never be the same without you. There should be another 7 years together. My sweet baby. You changed my world completely. I had never had animals in my life and then you and others came along and changed my life and outlook. I am forever grateful to have been able to help you thrive. Iāve no doubt that if someone else got you, you wouldnāt have lasted this long. But I still feel so down at your abrupt exit from this world. I am lost without you. Please let me know spiritually that you are ok my baby girl. Youāll always be my baby girl. ALWAYS.
I have attached her photos. I cry every time I look at her. She was my baby girl. the photo with two of them, she's at the front. Her sister, Ashu, is at the back. No one could tell them apart. But I learned very quickly.
