Big decision to make.

[sprout]

The young girl who I got Papaya from has asked me if she can have him back. Part of why I she gave him to me was because he is so shy and takes awhile to warm up to people. She wanted him to want to sit with her and at that point he was not ready to do that. While I have been working on the clicker training with him, she has been coming over and working with him also. She's been here every day for the last 2 weeks and they have really bonded. Which is probably part of the reason he's still having trouble with me.
She had never had a bird before and I don't think she knew what to do and got overwhelmed. Our families are good friends so if I do let her take him back, I will see him at least 1-2 times a week. She is home schooled so the attention level will be the same.
I think I have kept myself back from bonding with him also because of how much he has bonded with her.
I think I am going to let her take him but wanted opinions from you guys too.

 

[terry52449]

Yes definately

 

[MikeyTN]

She shouldn't just get rid of him just because he's not doing what she expects! BUT she have been over everyday so she does like him. I would give her back only under the conditions that she will give him to you if she decides the bird isn't for her! And as long as the bird is properly cared for.

 

[sprout]

I have talked to her and her parents about it and they have both agreed. I think it for her it was being overwhelmed and being a little afraid of him. I actually tried to talk her out of getting him when she was looking into getting him because we knew he had not been handled very much once he had weaned. I wanted her to get a just weaned baby from a breeder I know who I knew took alot of care with socializing her babies. But she found him on craigslist from a backyard breeder and he was much less expensive and she would not be talked out of getting him.

 

[AFP520]

If there is an agreement to return the bird to you for any reason they do not want it, then I'd do it.

 

[BoomBoom]

Before I read your whole post I was going to write "No way!" If she gave the bird up before for something so minor, what's to keep her from doing it again when something major happens?

You seem to be a responsible bird owner so he would be in good hands. But then the former owner seems to have come around... So I don't know.

If she gets him back, perhaps release him with the assurance that she will commit to his care 100% this time. Just my 2c!

 

[sprout]

I always say it should be the birds welfare not the persons. This bird may get very confused at people changing it back and forth. I would have gotten her a parakeet or something and kept the one you are training.

That would be true if she was not over here every day for the last 2 weeks and she has been the one primarily working with him. He has only been here for 1 month so he has actually spent more time with her than me at this point because even before the 2 weeks she was here every few days. I think she just needed to become confident in handling him. And if you could see how he is with her compared to me, you would know that he has picked her also now. He still is very shy with me, still runs. He comes right to her , steps right up and climbs right up onto her shoulder and starts preening her hair.
That is why I think he wants to be with her too.

 

[wenz2712]

I would say, yes, let her have him back on the understanding he comes back to you if she is unable to give him the care that he needs.

 

[lexx510]

I would say, yes, let her have him back on the understanding he comes back to you if she is unable to give him the care that he needs.

Yes, and have her write up a contract pertaining to this.

 

[sprout]

I would say, yes, let her have him back on the understanding he comes back to you if she is unable to give him the care that he needs.

Yes, and have her write up a contract pertaining to this.

Thank you for suggesting the contract- that is a great idea!.
I've decided to let her have him back but with the provisions you guys have suggested.
I'll type up a contract tomorrow and make sure she understands it and if all goes well, we'll move him back to their house Sunday.

 

[happycat]

She got overwhelmed, it could happen to anybody. Id give him back if theyve bonded.

 

[sprout]

Ok, we have a contract all signed. She had no problem agreeing to everything. I doubt there will be any problems though. And I have to admit I am a little jealous of how much he likes her over me.

I have Sprout to keep me busy for now and he is enough for me along with any baby birds people bring me. I can't remember if I mentioned that I hand feed babies for friends that want to get a young baby but don't have the time to hand feed them. Makes me a little extra money every now and then.

 

[luvmytooo]

I feel that you should keep the bird. The way I see it , she didn't know what she was getting herself into when getting a bird. She had no idea of the work involved in taking care of one and the time and energy and bites it could take to gain this birds trust and love. If she wasn't willing to do the work , why should she get the bird back.
I can't understand why she gave the bird to you , but was there all the time while you worked with him....Something just doesn't add up.

So , IMO , she shouldn't get the bird back and stop coming over to visit him.
This bird needs to get to know you and bond. I think either way , if you kept him or gave him back , this poor thing will be very confused and lost.
I totally feel this bird should stay where it is and this little girl needs to find another hobby. I don't want to be mean , sorry , but its how I see it.

 

[Merlee]

You don't mention how old the girl is. Did you know that minors cannot be held accountable to a contract so that is a worthless piece of paper. I agree with luvmytooo that the girl should not have gotten the bird back. Kids always want something and after they get it, they don't care about it anymore. I hope this will not happen, but most times it does.

 

[sprout]

She is 15. Her family and mine have been good friends for years so I have watched her grow up. I am very aware that she can not be legally held accountable which is why her parents also signed it.
He is already back with her anyway. I know I made the right decision and whether you agree or not doesn't matter.

 

[luvmytooo]

She is 15. Her family and mine have been good friends for years so I have watched her grow up. I am very aware that she can not be legally held accountable which is why her parents also signed it.
He is already back with her anyway. I know I made the right decision and whether you agree or not doesn't matter.

Question - Why did ask for our opinions then ?
You got exactly what you asked for IMO.
I know im not alone on this either but Im only worried about the birds welfare , nothing else matters.

 

[lene1949]

I think you did the right thing.... You've had the bird for less than 1 months, and it seems that the girl has been helping with the training for at least half of that...

Good on you for giving him back...

 

[DebsFlock]

Question - Why did ask for our opinions then ?

Um, timing is everything... the situation evolved as the posting went on...

My personal take on a situation like this one is that only the person making the decision really has all the information and that if they genuinely care, they will make the right decision. I know when I'm exposed to something like this, my initial reaction is to graft onto it any similiar experience I may have had or heard about, and respond based on that -- but that's not THIS situation. I'm sure Sprout did the very best she could by all involved.

 

[luvmytooo]

Im positive sprout did the right thing by her standings as well.
I totally want whats best for the bird , and all involved.
Would this young girl get a dog later in life and not be able to housebreak it or train it and then give it up to somebody , then see they have no problems and want it back ?
No lesson learned leads to more of the same mistakes.
Im not looking to argue with sprout , on the contrary , we all offered out opinions when she/he asked for them , and to end it with I don't care what you think was kind of childish
IMO. I can't see any other way of reading that last sentence then saying to everybody that might have disagreed with her/him to scratch off. Not what the forum is about. I thought I would offer my opinion because it was asked for .....and you get a slap in the face
for it ? Im finished , not worth anymore of my time.
I hope the best for the bird.

 

[DebsFlock]

Hmmm.... I didn't read it that way at all. I read it as, it's time to end the discussion now because the decision has been made and finalized, but I'm just an innocent bystander....