Bonding problems with adopted birds?

[veimar]

I wonder how much do parrots get attached to one person? I heard stories about large parrots NEVER being able to fully bond with anyone after their human "mate" either passed away or gave them up, no matter how the new owners tried. It seems to me that parrots are more like dogs than cats, and a new owner is a big stress for them.
My question is for those who have adopted birds. Did you have problems bonding with them? Were they still missing their previous owner? I've been thinking about adopting another parrot, and just wanted to know about your experiences.

Thank you!!

 

[MikeyTN]

A few took a bit longer to adjust but most adjusted pretty quickly due to the way I train them.

 

[Kiwibird]

Kiwi (as far as we are aware) was never treated well by his previous owners, and judging by his behavior after adoption, had likely never bonded with anyone/thing. He was very distrusting, lashed out and had no apparent training (stepping up, bite pressure, stick training ect...). When we got him, he had been living in a cat crate for at least 5 years, and possibly longer as the people hinted he came to them living in it. I do not feel he was a "typical" case for a rehome bird, however, you never know what you'll end up with when you go the adoption route. Though, shelters can give an idea of a birds history and behavioral issues most of the time, so you can go in with eyes wide open or wait for a bird who is not so difficult. There are also some birds who have been treated very well in their prior homes, thus do not have as long of an adjustment period or come with behavioral issues.

I won't lie, it was NOT an easy process with Kiwi, and was MUCH more difficult than I ever expected. He ended up taking to my husband much faster than he did me and still favors him, which was and is disappointing (he was suppose to be "my" bird). However, I was very persistent and let him have as much time as it took to begin trusting and bonding with me. It took several YEARS of DAILY interactions and trust-building activities. He did eventually come around in his own time. However, he is not, and likely never will be accepting of touch (i.e., no petting or scritches), but he does interact in non-contact ways (he likes to nap in my lap, play with my hair, he will play verbal games, he has been recently enjoying trick-training, likes to be around me ext...). If I could turn back the clock knowing what I do now, I would adopt Kiwi again. It wasn't easy, but with an animal who will outlive you, I had all the time in the world to work with him and he is an absolutely *wonderful* bird. He just needed people who were willing to give him a chance. I adore Kiwi and wouldn't trade the little guy for the world. Rehomes are very different than babies, so you have to weight the pros and cons to decide which route is best for you, and if you are willing to accept and address the potential problems that come with a rehome. I think a lot of forum members will agree, that while more difficult at first, the vast majority of rehome birds are diamonds in the rough

 

[Pinkbirdy]

About half of mine are rehomes . I feel its a time thing ,you have to be really positive and don't push them. At my house they have bonded with their person and have accepted the rest of the family members who make a great effort to win them over.

 

[Kalidasa]

I look at it like this; unless you laid the egg, all birds are adopted. My present conure took to me right away, and then went thru a very wild behavioral rampage for a while before he settled in. He was 3 and a half when I found him. Some birds are more reserved at first but will generally warm up with time, patience, and alot of contact.

 

[RavensGryf]

I look at it like this; unless you laid the egg, all birds are adopted.

Good point there

Even if you get a baby as a first owner, there is never a guarantee you will get the personality that you were hoping for, or one who loves you more than your significant other. They're all so individual

 

[Birdman666]

I agree.

It kinda depends on the bird, and the situation. Birds that are coming from a good situation, are sometimes confused. Where did my person go?

Birds coming from a bad situation, need to be taught to trust, but once they realize their station in life has improved, I find them to be the most appreciative of all... and they open up to you fairly quickly.

Some birds just aren't all that Touchie-Feelie...

 

[Terry57]

Most of my birds are rescues, and we picked every one. Some take more time & patience, but they have all come around with at least one of us. We have gotten most of ours through Kijiji, which is like the Canadian version of CL. Some have adapted slower than others, depending on how bad the home was they came from (some homes were quite bad).
We have bonded with each one, including 1 rehome from a loving home

 

[MonicaMc]

The majority of my birds have been rehomes. In fact, out of my flock of 7, only one is not a rehome - which isn't even counting the foster bird!


My first conure was a rehome, and we never did have a strong bond that you see with most tame and friendly birds. Truth is, he really wasn't friendly. Sure, he'd step up and he learned to enjoy kisses, but given the choice, he'd prefer to be in his area or out on the apple tree. I still think that we had a special understanding of each other. He had at least two homes prior to mine and I doubt he was understood in the last home. In his first home he was attacked by a ferret, which is what resulted in him finding a new home. His owners couldn't afford the vet bills to get him right again and the vet didn't want to put him down.

My second conure, Charlie, "kind of" bonded to me instantly. He lived with 1 man for about 10 years of his life (so was supposedly a "mans bird"), lived in a pet store for about a year, then in foster for another year. While at the pet store he did bond with a young girl, and while in foster he did bond with the couple who cared for him (the man more so than the women). I went down there and stayed at their house for a few days and he wanted nothing to do with me! Why should he? I'm a stranger! Once I brought him home, I went from "stranger" to "safety" - I was the only familiar thing to him in an entirely new environment. He's now bonded to me.

Jayde, my third conure, did take some work! I think she was with her first owner for 1-2 years, then she went back to her breeders home, then to foster care for 6 months and then to me. I don't know how she was in her first home, but I know that she couldn't be handled while in foster care. She *loved* being baby talked to and *loved* getting scritches, but she would not step up. I honestly don't know how she didn't warm up to her foster mom, considering she warmed up to me rather quickly! She was very nervous and skittish at first and required the safety of her cage in the first few months of having her, but now that she has settled in, I can't keep her off me! LOL



With the ARN that I'm fostering, I'm guessing it's going to be a while. I don't think she was ever a pet, merely a "pretty bird" sitting in a cage. I don't have any history on her unless she is the bird I think she might be, then I have limited history on her! She could very well be in her teens or twenties and I need to somehow make her into a pet... at least, far enough that she can be handled and interacted with, not necessarily a lovey dovey bird. If I can help her to become a "pet bird", then I can help find her a home where she'd be happy in.



I've also had quite a lot of rehomed tiels and parakeets (not just budgies!) and depending on the birds and how I felt at the time I either tamed them (at least as far as getting them able to step up) or allowed them to be content without taming them. I don't feel as if every bird needs to be tame in order to be happy, so I'm perfectly fine if the majority of my birds aren't tame as long as they are happy! And if they show interest in wanting human interaction, I'll provide it! (which actually happened with a previously tame tiel, and because she did it, another tiel wanted the same, and soon I was hand feeding all my tiels, tame or not!)



I've had birds for going on 14 years and I have yet to have a bird choose me. The majority of my rehomes are actually from people who knew I had birds, loved birds and wanted to know if I wanted another bird! Jayde I actually picked.


The person that I got the ARN from actually wants me to keep the bird, but I don't feel as if I need any more birds! And I met a mechanic that I have "wowed" about my knowledge of birds (as compared to his knowledge - which is lacking - and Chuckie, his conure that only eats seeds and whatever poor choice of foods he feeds them readily ate the pellets I provided for him!) and he wanted me to take his two birds home for a day or two to get them eating healthier! (instead, I brought some of my own food to him, so he has an idea of what I feed! and now he's willing to pay me for buying food for his birds, or making up a batch of my mash food!). The guy seems really thankful that I'm willing to help him out in caring for his birds, and he realizes that his conure does need some help! Since Chuckie barbers his feathers....


(supposed to be taking in a cockatoo later this year, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen, atm)


So I'd really say it depends on the birds, depends on the kind of situation they are coming from, and the kind of relationship you want with the bird.

 

[veimar]

Thank you so much for your input! In a way, even choosing from the CL you let the bird to choose you, sort of… I was just browsing the budgies on CL and saw one lady who had a fresh clutch. I emailed her and she said she sold all the budgies, but had a 5-6 mo old lovebird for adoption. Of course I agreed to take her. We were supposed to meet on Saturday, but it didn't work out, and we decided on this Monday. We talked on Sunday and she told me the person whom she gave two of the budgies returned them because they were not eating, but the parents started plucking them. I was scared to take them at first, but then took the chance and left with three birds! They are all eating fine and adjusting pretty well. So - didn't those two guys choose me? LOL Now I have a flock of 4 total! I hope they bond with me fine… But I'm not mentally ready yet to take an adult bird. It takes a lot of experience with parrots… and I'm just a beginner

 

[MonicaMc]

Sometimes, the already well adjusted adult birds are better than a new baby bird... reason being, is that an adult's behavior is less likely to chance as a baby's behavior will as it matures and grows. With an adult bird, you may know exactly what you are getting as the bird has already settled into maturity and all that, but with a baby, their behaviors can change!


So just because you are a beginner, no need to rule out a well adjusted adult that was rehomed through no fault of it's own! (parents fallen on hard times, owner died, owner got bored of the bird or something else)