Bonding

[pawsfoot]

Can anybody tell me what is the best way to start bonding with my bird. We have had for a little over a week, and during the day she is allowed to come out of her cage and roam around while we are home. She always hangs out on her cage, but whenever I walk up to her she walks away in the opposite direction. I constantly talk to her, and try to feed her treats from my hand, but she is not interested. I know it will take time for her to want to come to me, but I was just wondering the best approach. Thank you in advance.

 

[Mel]

Unfortunately you just have to give it time, time and more time. It took weeks and weeks before Shadow started to bond with me. She was very cautious when on top of her cage and would back up if I approached so I would use a perch to get her off then she would happily step up onto my arm from the perch and would just "hang" with me. Now I can't go near her without her wanting to climb up. Just be very calm and confident with your approach and hang in there.

 

[scott4687]

My Male was the same way when I first got him. I set up a chair next to the cage and sat there while watching TV. After he was comfortable with that I introduce food to the "game" and that was that! He lost all fear of me.

 

[Bobby34231]

Mel's 100% right, time, love, patience and understanding are the key, bonding only happens when you earn the birds trust, and thats the part that takes time, good luck and keep us up to date on your progress

 

[Aussie Ben]

I know it sounds like we are not helping, but time and patience really is the key. From your previous posts, you seem to be doing all the right things. It can take weeks and months for a bond to develop and often years before you develop a really strong one. *sigh* if only they learnt to bond as fast as they learn to get into trouble

 

[antoinette]

All the above posts are so correct Time Patience and Perseverance
The bird is still so young, getting used to everyone and all the surrounding.

Talk talk and talk and talk more. whenever you are home, and the bird can hear you talk. Talking gives the bird a chance to become familiar with your voice, which helps the bonding process. :15:

My way of getting my AD Mishka's attention, and still works today, is to make many different sounds. The first one I started with was kiss kiss, I kiss kissed 2x and made the sound.
That always made pay attention and come closer to me.
At the moment, I am trying to teach her beat boxing, what a mission . To get her attention I begin to make the sounds of beat box (LoL you should hear me) No matter what she is doing she comes right up to me and starts to dance. just waiting for the beat boxing sounds now.

I guess I have to practice what I preach BE PATIENT AND PRESERVER

 

[pawsfoot]

Thank you everyone. I will try sitting next to her cage in a chair and see how that works. When I do get her to step up on my hand she stays for all of a couple seconds and then trys to fly away, which since her wings were clipped when I got her, leads to her just drifting to the floor. I just don't want to push her too fast. Thank you for making me feel better, now I know I am not doing things wrong. I just didn't want to be missing some big opportunity to bond with her by letting her do her own thing for now. Again, thank you.

 

[HRH Di]

Sounds like you're doing great. Remember, parrots are prey animals and instinct tells them that we are predators. So, they're naturally untrusting of people. It was love at first sight with my parrots - on my side that is. It would have been so cool if they had understood that. Max took the most time to bond with, but we saw Jade and Ruby so early in their lives - Ruby was just out of the nest the first time I saw her - that they kind of "grew up" with us. But even now, we have to work on our relationship with them - kind of like marriage.

 

[Birdamor]

I agree 100% with everybody who posted before me. Birds' time is not humans' time. What seems a long time to us, is nothing to them. So, keep on doing what you are doing and, one day, she will take the first step to take the relationship further and, when she does, be there for her and all will be well.

 

[parrotqueen]

Everyone is correct, and I can only echo that time is very important in the bonding process.

Also, sit with her for long periods of time. Maybe read a book or watch television next to her cage, and talk to her every now and then. As antoinette mentioned, chatting with her can help as well. Be sure to use a calm, sweet voice; too much noise might risk her being even more skittish. Even as noisy as they sometimes seem themselves, birds do actually enjoy peace and quiet.

Try feeding her some nice treats. I would suggest something she's familiar with, such as her seed mixture or a fresh millet spray.

 

[deds]

my male ekkie will eat from my hand and let me scratch him but he wont step on my hand and whenever i try he will either just ignore me or walk away.

btw, do you all usually clipped your bird? im considering to clip his wing so i can let him out his cage whenever im around.

 

[Aussie Ben]

btw, do you all usually clipped your bird? im considering to clip his wing so i can let him out his cage whenever im around.

Clipping is a choice you need to make based on yours and your birds specific situation- Is your home 'bird proof', particularly for flighted birds? How old is your bird, has it always been flighted or clipped? Are you prepared to be your birds primary form of transport when clipped? There are so many things to consider. You might be interested in reading and chiming in in these clipping related threads:

http://www.parrotforums.com/training/5060-clipping-pros-cons.html
http://www.parrotforums.com/questions-answers/4563-flight-harnesses-vs-clipping.html
http://www.parrotforums.com/questions-answers/5029-taking-clipped-bird-outdoors.html
http://www.parrotforums.com/eclectus/4979-just-wondering.html
http://www.parrotforums.com/general-health-care/3587-clipping-their-wings-unhealthy.html

Personally I don't clip and my ekkie and tiel have a great time flying around the house. Both options carry different responsibilities.

 

[deds]

i dont know how old is the ekkie but he's definitely young as his beak still has some black marking on it. i had budgie when i was in sydney, his wings were clipped and he usually play around his cage and gym most of the time. if i can train my ekkie like this then it will be perfect

 

[Aussie Ben]

i dont know how old is the ekkie but he's definitely young as his beak still has some black marking on it. i had budgie when i was in sydney, his wings were clipped and he usually play around his cage and gym most of the time. if i can train my ekkie like this then it will be perfect

How long have you had him? What does he do when you have him out at the moment, does he try and fly off?

 

[Quantumcat]

You can encourage him to step onto you by offering food, and encourage him to stay on you by continually offering food while he's on you, slowing down and stopping when he seems comfortable. Taking him around the house and having it be exciting to be on you would help too. Also wear a woolly jumper so he can grip on easily (don't want him to fall off his first time on you and scar him for life!).

I think leaving a bird flighted is best, makes them more confident which removes lots of possible bad behaviours that are due to stress or unhappiness (if the bird knows they can't ever run away, they will be more fearful and aggressive, plus they are more dependent on you, which might lead to screaming). But you would need to go through your house and remove any possible danger, which might be too much work for some people. Also if your household contains many people, you may not be able to control when the doors open. Also controlling the supervision might be more difficult if the bird can do anything and go anywhere rather than being forced to stay on their perch where you put them.

 

[J & K]

We lucked out when we got Oscar. The store we got him from handled him all the time and had no fears to step up and hang out. before we brought him home, we bought the same cage he was in with all the same toys so he would feel safe. I think it worked as the same night he was brought home he wanted out of the cage and to hang out.