Gaining trust and making nice

[Wulfgeist]

Went to see Jasper again yesterday, he just turned 12 weeks old. He bit me again yesterday and made me bleed this time. I'm a bit at a loss what to do. Lately when I go I just perch him on my hand and talk to him, yesterday I was not trying to stare and intimidate him. He steps up just fine but if he gets riled about something he bites. Obviously don't get him riled but he had stepped over onto my friend's hand and then started up her arm. Possibly because she got nervous, I asked him to step up he lashed out at me and tried to fly away (all the babies are clipped due to the store setup for safety so they can't fly straight out the door if someone is coming in)

Now the long-time manager of the place sort of acts like it's no big deal, says she's never been bitten and of course Jasper is great with her, he's seen her every day since he was a wee guy and she's one of his feeders. I keep him near on my hand and just talk to him and they tell me he needs to be closer. I brought him up against my body but I'm not going to try to snuggle him because it's clear to me he doesn't want that from me. I almost feel like they are wanting me to force my attention on him or something. I've asked for advice on what to do from them and never really gotten anything constructive. The other lady told me he had gotten her the day before and was getting cage aggressive and his sister is even a bit nippy. These two came from a different breeder than the other two clearly sweeter chicks.

One of the customers came in while I was visiting and she actually gave me better advice..just lightly stroke his neck a little at a time and praise him when he doesn't react. That seems to be the best advice I've gotten at all so far.

I'm hoping he will be a little different when he's in a different place but I'm willing to try to deal with any challenges if he's not.

Anyone else have any advice on what more I might do to win his trust?

 

[roxynoodle]

Well, I haven't had my Grey very long, and I don't know if she is typical of the species or not. She does love to cuddle against my chest. I think it's her favorite thing to do besides eat! She will sit there for hours and just want to be petted. So I guess you could try it little by little.

She definitely loves food and being given little treats. Is Jasper old enough to eat any solids yet? Or maybe they could show you how to hand feed him and let you do it some. I did do it once with my Blue Crown baby.

She likes whistles a lot and funny sounds. She likes that I do them for her as well as her doing them for me. She's not as big on my singing as my other birds.

 

[Wulfgeist]

He's definately eating solids, they are only on one formula feeding a day. The one time I was there it was veggie time and I got to feed him his vegs. He took them quite well from my fingers. As far as anything else I'm not sure. They seem to have them on a rather regulated diet perhaps?

I don't know how much work I can do with him until I get him home. When Tico went through a nippy phase it worked to give him a little time-out on or in his cage. I don't think that will work so well right away because until he gets to know me and see I'm the new primary flock member it might be giving him what he wants..to be away from me.

I sort of feel I'm perhaps pushing him too far too fast. He's fine sitting on my hand, preens and even sort of tries to nap, closing the eye closest to me so I think that is a sort of good sign.

 

[roxynoodle]

Merlin's favorite foods seem to be Nutriberries and pieces of walnut. So any time I hand her one of those she is totally thrilled.

The time out thing does work well for conures when they are being nippy. I'm not sure on Greys. Hopefully other people who have had theirs since they were babies will chime in here.

And I have learned that just because Merlin was totally bonkers for me the moment she met me doesn't mean she likes everyone. Today a girl was at the vet's that was maybe 10 or 11. She asked if she could pet Merlin and I said sure. Well, Merlin was scared to death of that kid. She sqawked and ran up my arm and onto my shoulder and stood there trembling.

 

[Wulfgeist]

Poor Merlin! I did get some nutri berries and Tico could care less. Oliver, one of my cats, is way more interested in them. Maybe I should take a few along on Tues and ask if it's ok if he has some but then they might be touchy about anything coming in from the "outside".

 

[roxynoodle]

Rowdy loves Nutriberries, too, but Pete has so far refused to try one. My cat tried to eat one also, yesterday. I was breaking them in half to put on Merlin's meds and the cat grabbed one off the plate. Then she spit it out onto the counter, lol!

You might break them in half the first time you offer one to Jasper. He might not know what to do with a whole one.

I'm not sure what it was about the girl Merlin didn't like. She was friendly and not scared. Her bird was in an exam room with her dad and she came over to me and saw Merlin, who was all cuddled up with me. Then she asked me if she could pet the Red Belly that lives at the vet's office (who was perched on the door of Merlin's carrier). I just said well, it just asked me for a pet, let me for about 30 seconds and then bit me, lol!

 

[lene1949]

He's just a baby... They don't get born fully well behaved birds, even though that would be very nice.. lol

As he get older he'll learn to be gentle... I taught Max to be gentle, by putting my hand around his neck, kissing his beak, and saying gentle in a very soft voice... The restraint - holding him around the neck - has proved invaluable in that I could save him from hanging himself, as he just relaxed as soon as he felt my hands on his neck, and I could remove him from the ring he had got himself caught in, and even in such a stressful situation he didn't attempt to bite me.

 

[roxynoodle]

He's just a baby... They don't get born fully well behaved birds, even though that would be very nice.. lol

As he get older he'll learn to be gentle... I taught Max to be gentle, by putting my hand around his neck, kissing his beak, and saying gentle in a very soft voice... The restraint - holding him around the neck - has proved invaluable in that I could save him from hanging himself, as he just relaxed as soon as he felt my hands on his neck, and I could remove him from the ring he had got himself caught in, and even in such a stressful situation he didn't attempt to bite me.

Actually it's a good idea to get them all used to that, for toweling or restraint. That is how I get Merlin's seizure injections into her without having to use a towel. She hates towels, and when I tried doing it that way it was much nicer for both of us.

Yes, with Rowdy I say, "Nice" in a quiet voice. "Gentle" might even have a softer sound to it. I think that's a very good suggestion.

 

[Wulfgeist]

So it's probably just a matter of him getting to know me and more used to me and his new home when he comes? I'm really hoping so because I've seen him with the main lady there, she kisses his beak and everything and he doesn't even flinch. I know there's a sweet boy hiding behind that gruff exterior and perhaps with patience and a little time he'll come out and meet me.

I also mentioned I just got a harness and was told I should have started harness training from the get go and I would probably have a rough time now. The way I see it if he hasn't accepted even a soft petting from me he's not likely to accept the touching that would require me putting a harness on him no matter how much someone else he knows well was able to.

 

[roxynoodle]

No, I don't recommend trying to put a harness on him yet until he does fully trust you and is bonded to you. Unless you want the breeder to start getting him used to it now. But, I think if you start trying that right now, he will be quite upset.

It takes time to bond with a bird. Sometimes they do bond with you almost immediately, but sometimes it takes days, weeks, months and even years with some older ones.

You just need to be patient, calm, and kind.

 

[suncon97]

When I got Pearl(she'll be a year next month)she was nice the first couple of days but when I got her out she could be quite the little monster.What I began with was just stepping up and she did pretty good but she would bite sometimes.As I could finally hold her I started to find where she liked to perch when around me.One my hand,shoulder,arm,etc.I sat down legs crosse one day and she just sat on my knee and I whistled to her fed her and tried to pet her.I have done this everyday for the past 8 or 9 months and today me and her are best buds!Me and her are together all of the time and she loves head scratches.It sounds like your doing a great job just find where she is comfortable with you and what she likes to do when she is there and I think you two will bond in no time I just took baby steps and Is turned out great.

 

[lene1949]

I think harness training needs to wait, till the bird trusts you completely... If I should train Max to a harness, I think now might be a good time... He's 7-8 months old, and trust me completely..

I did buy a harness for him, when I first got him, and I succeeded to get it on him, but then decided that he's got enough flying space inside, and I can roll the cage outside for sun and rain... So... he won't be harnessed...

 

[Wulfgeist]

Promising update: Went to visit Jasper the other day and he was so well behaved. They have a little tray of toy bits in the visit room like foot toys that I have been showing him when I go. He gets all puffy and doesn't like them but the last visit he was looking all interested so I put the tray in my lap. He was half on my hand, half on the toy box digging through it, doing exploring and messing around. He took the little wiffle ball and tossed it on the floor while the other babies were getting their solitary forumula feeding. He didn't seem to notice the peeping in the other room so I thought to myself "This is good, he doesn't care". Well I had to switch hands with him so I could put the toybox aside and lean down to retrieve the ball off the floor and he gave me a little nip then. Clearly he wasn't ready to stop playing but that was the only bite the whole visit! Of course then he was no longer distracted by toys and started in peeping with the rest of them. LOL

I did short, light pettings around his neck, not long enough to make him uncomfortable and praised him each time I was done. He's definately coming around. Still not sure when I get to bring him home. Originally it was next week but the manager of the place isn't quite commited to that. He'll be well entertained when he does come home, I have so many toys for him now.

On a similar note but sort of off topic, I got another box from My Safe Bird Store today, a couple toys but mostly bits and pieces for making, remaking, redoing toys. One of the things I ordered was a two pack of the nest things but there was only one. Should I contact Kathie about or just mark it off as an oversight? She's been very generous with the candy and the free fingertraps, I would hate to have her have to ship one little thing like that for what shipping costs.

 

[roxynoodle]

If it was me I'd probably let it go due to all the free goodies she puts in. Merlin has already destroyed all 6 things she gave me, lol! If Jasper is like Merlin be prepared to go through a ton of shreddable toys.

I'm glad he had fun during his visit and wasn't as nippy.

 

[Wulfgeist]

Awesome, thanks. That's what I was thinking, I just wanted some confirmation! LOL.. And yeah I bet on the toys. He has this one in his cage there that he keeps undoing all the knots and pulling the big wooden beads off of. That's sort of why I went with mostly toy parts this order, at least the chains and ss rod things hopefully wont be destroyed so I can reuse them as starting points.

 

[roxynoodle]

I do the same, just keep replacing chewed off and really worn parts. I would buy him a toy with a ton of knots to undo. My BCC loved untying knots. Merlin did it the other day as well and let a bunch of little parts go all over the bottom of her cage. Now she is using all the parts as chew toys though, so I left them there. I'm going to give her one with a bunch of knots and see what happens.

 

[Wulfgeist]

Yep, think I got this one on one of my very first visits there

 

[roxynoodle]

Did you get that at mysafebirdstore? I'm looking for some bigger ones like that for both Pete and Merlin. Rowdy has one that might be a little small for my bigger 2 birds that I get from a lady on ebay. I was about to message her to see if she can make bigger ones. Pete might be scared of a big one, but once he gets past his fear he likes to climb onto his toys.

 

[Wulfgeist]

This one was actually from the place I bought Jasper and it wasn't the biggest one. This one is roughly 10 1/2 inches tall not including the chain.

Lots Of Knots Medium

They do sell some of the toys online for delivery. They also have the large one. They do have alot of the toys Kathie has I have noticed but buying from Kathie is probably cheaper. Not sure if it was on sale but the bag of Nutriberries was a buck cheaper and then when you add in 10% off and free shipping if you're over $100. Not everything available in the store is listed online. It's literally wall-to-wall toys in that place lol.

http://www.jos-exoticbirds.com/bird-toys/medium-bird-toys/Lots Of Knots Large Bird Toy

Their policy is $20 min order though I notice and shipping looks expensive but I haven't paid for shipping so it's hard for me to tell! lol