I might have made a mistake

[Evalin100]

Hope I can share and get the right advice here.

I got an eclectus (he is around 4 months old), and he has been with me for about two-three weeks.
I have been very sick, so I was home with him and we bonded alot. The problem now is that I have to get back to work, and he really does not like being inside his cage. he wants to be with me all the time.
I feel out of my element, this is my first parrot and I feel like I am doing him wrong and should look for a better home, that can spend more time with him.
I heard about parrots feather plucking etc, and I don't want to get to that point.
I only had dogs till now, so I thought I could handle it, but it seems those are two different "pack animals".
What should I do? give him up now, before he gets too attached to me, or wait till I go back to work and hope he'll adjust to my lifestyle?

I feel like crap. I was sure I'd be a good home, but maybe it's just too much for one person who works full time.

 

[Birdman666]

First of all:

I CALL BS ON THIS...

You're over thinking it. And not giving yourself enough credit.

Just because some birds pluck, doesn't mean all birds will pluck if they become unhappy about something.

I HAVE SIX AND WORK FULL TIME... SO, NO... IT'S FINE...

All that happened is he took full advantage of the fact that you were home sick. (Yeah, my greenwing macaw moved into my walk in closet and lived there while I was sick, so, how is this unusual?)

What you need to do is structure the interaction. Get this bird on a routine, and get him used to it. They adjust.

And, here's the deal, if he wants to be with you all the time... that bond has already started to form. Dump him now, and he gets abandoned for the first time. AS A BABY...

THAT IS WHAT WILL CAUSE THE PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA. NOT YOU HAVING TO GO TO WORK...

 

[Birdman666]

From this point on provide him with a structured routine and stick to it.

The other thing about eckies is they are diet sensitive birds.

They do better on fresh foods. Learn about eckie diets and toe tap... which is more of a concern than plucking to me.

 

[Evalin100]

So you think I'm just freaking out?

I buy him tons of fresh fruits, veggies. He gets a variety every day. small amounts of almonds and walnuts as treats he can play with (i crack the shell a little and let him crack it). Our most fun is when I give him a shower with a spray bottle and then a slight blow dry. He loves that so much. But on the other hand, he will freak out if I'm in the house and he is in his cage, he'll go nuts in circles and cry and whistle and do every trick to get me to pay attention to him, and it breaks my heart to ignore him.

How do you suggest I start getting him used to structure from now on?

Btw, he's a single parrot. I don't have any other pets.

 

[Dopey]

He'll be fine and so will you. You are over thinking it.

Start your daily routine now. Even if you are going to stay home. If you were home sick you weren't giving him your full attention anyway. I work full time and my ekkies (I have a male and a female but they are caged separate) are fine. They even deal with me going out to dinner and not being able to play with them every night. Please, have a life and enjoy your fids too.

 

[Birdman666]

So you think I'm just freaking out?

I buy him tons of fresh fruits, veggies. He gets a variety every day. small amounts of almonds and walnuts as treats he can play with (i crack the shell a little and let him crack it). Our most fun is when I give him a shower with a spray bottle and then a slight blow dry. He loves that so much. But on the other hand, he will freak out if I'm in the house and he is in his cage, he'll go nuts in circles and cry and whistle and do every trick to get me to pay attention to him, and it breaks my heart to ignore him.

How do you suggest I start getting him used to structure from now on?

Btw, he's a single parrot. I don't have any other pets.

YOU JUST HAVE A SET ROUTINE, AND STICK TO IT.

THIS IS WHEN WE EAT.

THIS IS WHEN I GO TO WORK, AND YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.

THIS IS WHEN I COME HOME, AND YOU'RE OUT AND WITH ME.

THIS IS DINNER TIME.

THIS IS PLAY TIME.

THIS IS PLAY ON YOUR OWN TIME.

THIS IS WHEN WE SLEEP.

THE SAME BASIC THING HAPPENS EVERY DAY...

That's how you set a structure.

AND THEY ADAPT TO THE STRUCTURE.

 

[Evalin100]

Wow, this is such a relief. I was reading all kinds of articles and forum posts, and came across all kinds of "my bird is plucking" and "my bird bites me because i had to go overnight", and I was looking at him freaking out and felt like crap. I don't want him to go through that.

So even if I'm home, should i still keep him in the cage for the hours I will be at work? even if he goes nuts? I bought him toys, but he doesn't seem interested in them at all.

 

[Anansi]

Mark is right. It is definitely possible to have a full time job and still provide a good home for your birds. You just have to work on his independence.

I understand the basis of your fear. You just got him and he's seeing you constantly, and you worry about the effect it will have once you don't have that same level of availability.

To address this, (if you're still at home but returning to work soon) just gradually get him used to being in the cage for longer periods of time. And put lots of toys in his cage. Soft woods are great for ekkies. As are foraging toys. They are highly intelligent birds, so you want to keep his mind engaged.

If he's screaming a lot for your attention, don't reward the behavior. Come over to his cage once he's quieted down, and then give him a treat. Consistency in this will teach him that screaming behaviors will not get him any attention.

You haven't made a mistake. But you do have to set boundaries for him. Don't expect immediate results. Some birds are more stubborn than others. But don't give up, either. He'll prove to be more than worth it.

 

[Evalin100]

Thanks so much for this. I feel more confident now that he can be happy with me, even if I'm not home half the day.
Just some breeder told me that either I understand that my parrot has to be my whole life or that I shouldn't have one. And I really want him to be happy.

 

[Anansi]

If he's not showing interest in the toys, he might not yet know how to play with them. You'll have to pique his interest by showing him how. Play with the toys in front of him. Be very enthusiastic, as though they are the greatest things ever.

Also, ekkies prefer soft woods and shreddable toys. Hard woods won't garner much of a response from them.

 

[Amanda_Bennett]

I don't have an ekkie, my girl is an Amazon. I work at home, but she doesn't get to be out with me all the time. She has a schedule and we stick to it (except on my days off, then she is out most of the day)

She gets breakfast while I drink my coffee. She eats on the "fold down" door of her cage so kind of inside but outside the cage.

Then she has to go inside and entertain herself for the rest of the day until I can close my office and let her out for the evening. She has toys and treats (yes I hand her treats when I walk by the cage during the day) but I try really hard to not interact with her during my work hours. I do leave a radio on in the living room for her.

As soon as I close my office (a room attached to my living room) I open her cage door and she hops on my hand and climbs to my shoulder and we hang out for the rest of the evening, have dinner together and she puts herself to bed when she gets tired. I cover her up about 8 PM and we start all over again the next morning.

 

[Evalin100]

Hmm..got it. So I just need not to break when he's getting crazy in his cage. I just feel like I'm being a bad mommy. A neglectful one. every time i take him out and I talk to him and he starts falling asleep and making funny noises. I don't want him to think he's not loved.

I did buy him hard wood toys (rope and wood blocks in the shape of ladders and such). could you help me out and maybe link a picture of an example for good soft wood toys that might work?

 

[Doublete]

My favorite toy supplier is igotawoody.
I Got A Woody Bird Toys LLC - Home

They make balsa toys (soft wood), cork, and lots of really fun toys. My amazon, conure, and lovebird LOVE them all.

I work full time and the only schedule my birds know is they have me for about an hour in the am... Sometimes more. Then they get their food in their cage and I leave for work. When I come home if they're not too settled in, their light comes on and they get to hang for a while. They hope that some days I'll be home a little earlier (me too) but my daily schedule changes every day/week. For the most part I think they're happy happy fids!

 

[Birdman666]

Thanks so much for this. I feel more confident now that he can be happy with me, even if I'm not home half the day.
Just some breeder told me that either I understand that my parrot has to be my whole life or that I shouldn't have one. And I really want him to be happy.

Your breeder had his or her head up his or her a$$...

My birds don't get caged. However, I also have a full time job for a law firm, and we were in trial out of town... so I had to cage them, and I had to get a bird sitter for about a week...

Okay. They HATED IT! Maggie in particular threw a hissy fit...

I was gone for five days.

None of them plucked.

When I came home four of the six were, and remain, in clingy bird mode...

The other two gave me a thank you kiss when I let them out of their cages, and then waddled away...

THEY ADJUST!

 

[wrench13]

Soft wood means balsa wood, and you can buy some tomorrow at any hobby shop. Don't buy too much there, buy the big quantity at one of the online resources, but get some tomorrow , that's your assignment for sat. Play with it, rub it on your face, make like your eating it , but don't put it in your mouth, even break a piece or two and let you baby see you doing it. Make it look like fun. Sounds dumb but that works!

Never too early to start teaching him tricks, like turning in a circle, shake hands, easy stuff to start. Be consistent in your commands, and always have the treat ready for when he does the trick requested. Be enthusiastic when he gets them right. Good luck. Tons of good advice on here, use it.

 

[Evalin100]

You guys are awesome

So today I have started with the routine, I let him sit on top of his perch while I changed the messy newspapers and made fresh veggie mix for breakfast. He screamed at the top of his lungs for attention, but I tried to ignore it (hoping my neighbors are not going to come knocking lol). I think he gets super cranky when he's hungry, so not sure if it was attention or food.
He's in his cage now. He sits relatively quietly unless I dare make eye contact, and then it's opera time.

I am going to find balsa in my hometown or online. In the meantime, can I make stuff out of brown paper bags? I have some already and some cardboard and a flax rope.

As for the breeder, I don't know why he said that, but it really freaked me out. He said "I only recommend parrots to retired people, so unless you're willing to work as a full time parrot owner, give him up". Since I'm new to this, it got me really stressed.

Thank you all for your encouragement and boost!

 

[itchyfeet]

If they're just plain brown paper, not shiny or laminated, they'll be fine

 

[Anansi]

Yup! As Itchyfeet said, plain brown paper bags are all good. As is plain cardboard. I'm not familiar with flax rope, but the usual go to's are untreated sisal and cotton rope. It's making sure the rope is untreated that is the biggest worry.

He only sells parrots to retired people? Bizarre? Heart's in the right place, though. But don't get caught up in his nonsense. What is important, though, is that the bird gets a few hours attention each day on average. (The "on average" part is important. One or two busy days aren't deal breakers, you know?)

 

[Uglow]

I can't really add much to what some of community has already said. It's a great group of folks here.
But, I can say that I was in the same boat not long ago. It's terrifying to think you're responsible for this intelligent fragile living creature. But it get's easier. Soon your bond with him will grow into a deeper love. Before you know it, you can't imagine your life without him. Everyone here, started out with their first bird.

 

[obeck]

On the plus side, you're doubting yourself. That's a good thing. Realize that not everyone who has a parrot is as concerned about them as you are about yours. So, while you're questioning your parrots happiness someone (no one on this forum 😊) simply doesn't care. Small cages, poor diet, no sun, little interaction etc. Just make sure to keep that up.