Im In A Dark Place

[Violet_Diva]

I'm very upset and distraught

I fed and watered the babies

But I don't feel like I can interact with them without crying

I don't want to scare them

I don't want to miss body language for tears and damage our relationships

Is it OK to stay away from the birds for while I'm like this?

I don't want them to see me like this

Am I being cruel if I leave them caged?

I don't trust that I can keep them safe if I let them out

I don't know what to do

 

[Oliver17]

I’m sorry, I think it’s ok. I’ve been told birds pick up on our emotions
Hope u get feeling better soon

 

[Scott]

Is there anyone you can reach out to for comfort and assistance? Sometimes life can be upsetting and we rely on a support system to lift us out of sadness.

You've considered the needs of your flock by giving them the essentials of nourishment and safety. Perhaps it is best to keep them caged until you can be assured of their well being.

 

[Terry57]

I am so sorry you are going through this. As long as they are fed & watered, they will be okay while you get through this.
Sending positive thoughts your way, my Friend.

 

[SailBoat]

Your consideration of leaving them cage while you take the time to regain your strength is very positive.

Whether you are in the same room or not, they will pick-up on your level of comfort and that is a good thing. I believe that it may help you to just sit near them and gain comfort in their being near-by, since they do care about us.

 

[Anansi]

I'm sorry you're going through this right now, my friend. Sending hugs, prayers and positive thoughts your way.

As for leaving them caged while you're working through this? Of course you can! We all often focus on the fact that our birds need hours per day out of cage time. And this is very much true.

But what people often forget is that this is on average. There are going to be days here and there where life gets in the way of doing as you usually would. And that's okay. Why? Because all of us who have followed your threads can easily see the caliber of love and care that you give to your birds on a daily basis. They are LOVED. And they know it.

You are worried about them seeing your body language and misunderstanding the distress that they see there. But what you are not considering is what they see in your body language all the rest of the time. They are every bit as perceptive in the good times as they are in the bad. So trust them to see the love and joy in your heart as readily as they might see anything else.

Take the time you need. And when you are ready, they'll be there waiting for you.

 

[GaleriaGila]

I'm so glad and grateful that you're sharig with us. It's an honor to support you and share your journey.
I second all the suggestions and observations above.
May I add a very personal idea... just a suggestion based on my own experiences?
Sometimes... just sometimes... as I have battled physical and personal challenges, it seemed as if the only thing that got me up and gave me strength was caring for the animals in my charge. I hold that out to you as an idea. Giving yourself some time and space apart from them is absolutely and equally as valid and helpful.
Hang in there. You have a big heart, and a lot to offer us and the people and animals in your life.
We're here for you.

 

[Flboy]

Hi, how are you doing?

 

[EllenD]

I hope that you know how much people really do care about you, and how many people you have to talk to...and for me, anyway, just talking about things helps tremendously. And though it won't fix the troubles of this world that effect you, just getting that weight off of your chest, just having someone else listen to what you're going through can be enough to lift you up. The people of this forum, in-general, don't know you personally, but we are here for you none-the-less, any time...

I also hope that you know that what you are feeling and going through is perfectly normal, and that EVERYONE on the face of the earth feels this way during different points of their lives, whether they are willing to admit to it or not. So please don't feel like you are wrong for feeling this way, you're actually more courageous than most for simply typing out what you did.

Your birds will be just fine. They'll also be there for you when you need them, as they know when something is wrong, they know when you're feeling down, they know when you're sick, they know when you're frustrated, angry, and the rest. They know. And this is when their love can be most-precious...and this is what people who have never had a bird as a family member will sadly never understand.

 

[ChristaNL]

Yes, you can!
(cry in front of your parrots - they know something is wrong anyway, parrots do not miss those signals *ever*)
Just be yourself - and if it is your miserable self, so be it!
Of course they will react - something is not quite the same with an important member of their flock, but that is okay too.


If you worry you are getting your birds down/ too upset... ask a friend over to interact with them. I had to do that a couple of times and it works wonders
No more extra guilt-trip for me and another interesting thing to do for the birds.
One of my friends is not really comfortable with them- so he just talks from a safe distance ... and they love the distraction! The other one is more hands on- so another level of play for them.
(no friends availble at the time? Ask a babysitter to read to them for an hour or so?)


I hope you find a little bit more light every day - you can help yourself by not taking on extra worries.
(grinnn, I should listen to my own advice more often).
No darkness lasts forever - just hang in there and be the best you can be.
(the fact that you can be utterly miserable and still worry about your birds tells me a lot of good about you!)