I'm not sure what to do

[ProbablyHarrison]

I'm being kicked out of my parents' house, fairly suddenly. It turns out that showing love this Easter season means kicking your gay son out of your house.

The reason I'm even coming to the forum with this personal issue is that I don't know what to do with Charlie. I'm going to have to live at my best friends' house but she has cats and I don't know if Charlie's big cage will be an option at their place. Does anyone think he'd be okay?

The other, horrible option is giving Charlie up for adoption when I've only barely had him. I think a part of me would die inside. Trust me, if I'd known any of this was going to happen I'd have waited to get him.

Does anyone have any ideas? Help, please???

 

[sodakat]

Keep him! You and he will weather this. If you need, get a smaller cage. If you have your own room at your friend's, consider buying a screen door for the bedroom. This way he can be safe from the cats but can hear the rest of the household. I did this for 4 months one winter when my dh went road tripping and I stayed with one of our daughters to help her out financially. Me and the Eclectus in one bedroom! It was grand.

I'm sorry your life is getting icky right now, but you and Charlie can make it through this. Change will be good for him. The more he experiences (safely with you to show him it's okay) the better bird he will be.

I've lived on a sail boat with my birds (not 8 of course) and Rose and LaFitte had their first clutch when we were traveling in our fifth wheel one winter.

My pets have helped me get through tough times. Let Charlie do that for you.

Oh, and if you become un-gay because your parents kicked you out... that will be a first, won't it?

 

[MarciaLove]

I think as long as the cats dont bother the bird he will be ok it would be best if you two stayed together though!!! I would hate for you to have to give him up for adoption! If it comes to that I live north of Atlanta and would gladly take care of him in my home and give him love for you until you settled on your feet and could take him back. I really hope you will be able to keep him I know how much you must love him and having many birds I love I know I wouldnt be able o live with-ought them!

 

[Customcasket]

I live in a house with 3 cats. I'm able to keep the birds in a bedroom closed off from the cats. I don't know if that's an option for you or not.

If I were you, I'd do everything possible to hold onto Charlie. You two will make it through this.

 

[Echo]

I think as long as the cats dont bother the bird he will be ok it would be best if you two stayed together though!!! I would hate for you to have to give him up for adoption! If it comes to that I live north of Atlanta and would gladly take care of him in my home and give him love for you until you settled on your feet and could take him back. I really hope you will be able to keep him I know how much you must love him and having many birds I love I know I wouldnt be able o live with-ought them!

That's a very nice option from MarciaLove as well.

 

[henpecked]

Wow ,you've got some nice friends. "Unto thine own self be true"

 

[Jtbirds]

Wow so sorry for what has happened to you and how people can't accept people for who the are. Marcia you are great. I'd say see how they act and yeah if a smaller cage is needed go for it I mean it'd be better then having to give up your friend. Let us know how it goes for you....

 

[mistywaterwoman]

Wow, what a way to celebrate our Lord's unconditional love for us... you know, the whole dying-for-our-sins thing.
I'm sorry they are being so blind, and I hope they come to their senses soon.

I agree with everyone else, if at all possible, keep him with you. HIS unconditional love can be a balm to your soul right now. <3

Keep the faith, my friend. The world is changing, and hopefully in the not too distant future, issues like this will be a thing of the past.

Marcia, you are awesome to make that offer!

 

[chippy]

No advice for you about the bird...but just wanted to say that i am sorry your parents are responding this way. I hope they come around and realize that your being gay doesn't change the person you have always been and that it should not change the love they have always felt for you. (((hugs))) If you were my kid, you wouldn't be going anywhere.

 

[noblemacaw]

I am very sorry you are going though this with your parents. Suddenly being homeless is very stressful and extremely devastating. Is going to your friends place temporary or are they able to have you stay for a while? If your new home is more stable please take your Eclectus with you. During these hard times you are going to need your green friend's companionship more than ever.

As for living with cats it can be done. Either having the parrot behind closed door or teaching the cats to leave parrot alone. I live with a cat and a Scottish Terrier and because Valentino is flighted when he flies my dog jumps up and tries to "snatch" him out of the air. Of course this is not tolerated and have done extensive training with her. She is hard wired to "get" him but I also taught her she is part of our family. With the cat she does not bother Valentino. That came from my naughty Illiger's calling her over to him so that she could get close and then he would bite her.

I have a spare bedroom I have not torn down yet (breaking down bed to take Star Wars stuff out of storage so I can take pics and get it up on line to sell. This was going to be done when weather gets better.) Lupe's budgies live in that spare bedroom and I have my office I can quarantine your parrot until he settles in. If you really don't have any long term place to stay I am in MN and we have a very strong gay community up here in which a young person can get a start. Our winters are cold and can get ****ty (last March was in the 80's this year we are STILL in the 30's) but if you want to travel somewhere to get a start I do have the extra bedroom and extra room for your Eclectus. You would also have your own bathroom but would have to share it with my cat.

I know my offer is unconventional because I am a stranger to you but I believe in helping people that need it and I am really grateful that I have the means to do it right now. If you want to start somewhere fresh and want to start a career or go to univeristy, college, trade school what ever your plans were before your parents threw you out (I can't even type that line without getting angry) I have a home that has room for you and Charlie that can provide you a way to move forward in your life with positive support. It gets cold up here but we have a very high standard of living and exciting opportunities for you.

 

[goalerjones]

Keep your baby. Transitions will come and go in your life but your own loyalties matter the most. You made a commitment to love, care for, and keep your baby. Don't repeat someone else's ungracious example.

Charlie doesn't know, or care about your sexual orientation, he loves YOU.

 

[JerseyWendy]

Oh I am SO sad this is happening to you! I am genuinely sorry!!! You've received FANTASTIC advice. Hold on tight to your baby, you won't regret it.

I also pity your parents, as they fail to see what a wonderful, caring and loving son they have.

HUGS to you, and I wish you ONLY the best.

 

[Birdlover11]

So sorry for what happened. Keep Charlie ! Show your parants that you can survive without them and make them regret for kicking you out !

 

[SandyBee]

I would keep Charlie too, make sure the cats can't get to him at your friends place until you can get into a better situation. You are his stability and he will be yours.
Best of luck in this new phase of your life.

 

[haleybird]

I agree with many of the other posters on here. My heart goes out to you and Charlie.

I think you should do whatever it takes to keep you fid with you...he will stay by your side no matter what, and you can share all of your life's adventures with him.

 

[kenzie]

I'm so sorry this has happened to you and Charlie. My prayers will be with you.

 

[Customcasket]

I think as long as the cats dont bother the bird he will be ok it would be best if you two stayed together though!!! I would hate for you to have to give him up for adoption! If it comes to that I live north of Atlanta and would gladly take care of him in my home and give him love for you until you settled on your feet and could take him back. I really hope you will be able to keep him I know how much you must love him and having many birds I love I know I wouldnt be able o live with-ought them!

This is an amazingly kind thing for somebody to offer. If you and I lived closer and I was in a different living situation I would offer the same help. It goes with the golden rule "Treat others the way you want to be treated". If I was suddenly forced out of my house I would hope that somebody would offer me the same option for my fids if I couldn't take them with me.

All of us come from different backgrounds and live all over the world, but one thing keeps us together. We're "bird people". Non-bird people cannot understand the love and dedication it takes to love our feathered friends the way we do. (they may 'understand' it with other animals or hobbies) You'll always have friends here on the forum. I find that while everybody lives all over the world and we may not be "friends in real life" I still care about what goes on in everybody's lives. Please, keep us updated on what's happening with you and Charlie.

 

[edgarsmommy]

First see if the cage you have is an option if not try and downsize if possible.
and I have cats and dogs neither of them bother my Edgar most are terrified of him.
I would try and do the screen door thing someone suggested if thats not possible put his cage in a room you can shut the door just until you can slowly see how the cats react to him.
also I'm sorry about your parents kicking you out. If I had to leave my house and my parrot idk what i'd do either but I know I'd fight with all I can to keep my baby

 

[WannaBeAParrot]

Parronts are the best !!!! Wow, such wonderful offers to help.
I hope you will decide to keep Charlie with you at your friend's place. Pritti and I lived for 2 months in one small room last summer while visiting with family. He adjusted just fine to his 18x18, 24" high temp cage, but I let him stay out of it most of the time since there were no other pets around. It was really fun sharing close quarters with him. And it will be sooooooooooooo good for you to have your companion bird to help you get thorugh this. Just pick him up and snuggle or play when you feel like you need a lift.

Perhaps somone could tell you if it would be safe to get a roll of screening material at Home Depot (they make it in metal, stainless I think, and also in a heavy plastic-type). If safe, you could wrap it around the outside of the big cage if you thing the cat can get a paw inside.

Whatever cage you use, be sure to make sure every possible opening is locked up with a total animal-proof lock. They are cheap and easy to find. If you can't find one, you can innovate with pipecleaners, vet tape, stainless wire.

 

[ProbablyHarrison]

Thank you everyone. After getting over the initial shock I think I will be okay. My best friend and I agree that I should keep Charlie unless there's absolutely no alternative, and you all have already been brilliantly kind in your offers and advice.

We're going to try to make it work, even if it is a struggle.

Thank you all for your support and kindness. I truly appreciate it.