Can I “parront” a cockatiel?

[frankie.rainieri]

I think what I didn't say in the other "Conure" thread that I should have said, and that SunnyClover hit-on, is that for whatever reason, your idea of how a bird "bonds" to you is set in your mind as whatever bird you bring home, baby or adult, that doesn't really matter in this situation, will bond solely and only to you, if you are the only person in the house that has any direct contact with it, that if no one else in the house touches, talks to, or goes near the bird, and if the bird is locked inside a cage all day long, by itself, alone, and no one else goes near him but you, that this will result in a bird who wants nothing but to be quite literally "stuck to you" when you get home at night for the 3 hours you're going to spend with him....And that the bird's "bond", as you describe it or think of it, is going to keep it literally "stuck" to your shoulder all the time and in all situations, thus making you feel that it's alright to not change anything in your household regarding your other pets, the dogs and the cats, because the bird will not ever leave your shoulder, as mentioned it will literally be like a "statue on your shoulder"...And this is your rationale for not having to keep the dogs or cats away from the bird....I hope I'm describing this accurately, as this is what I'm getting from what you are trying to or wanting to achieve, as you've somewhere gotten this idea that a bird's "bond" to "their person" is actually just as I've described, and my fear, or the biggest fear for whatever bird you bring home, is that this idea that you have of what a bird's "bond" is to their person is going to give you a false-sense of security and safety in your home with other potentially dangerous animals.

I don't think you're a bad person at all, I never did. You said that I "flamed you", however I didn't flame you, I just didn't pull any punches with you and attempted to inform you that this sort of "bond-forming training-plan" that you've come-up with is based on this idea that you have of what a bird's bond to a person is, and because that idea of bird's bond to a human is not accurate, you're entire plan to accomplish that goal is not going to work, or at the very least has a great chance of failing...

The fact of the matter is this:
-There is no way to force any bird to bond with one particular person
-The fact that your fiance is going to be home all day, even if she has no contact with the bird, makes what you are wanting to accomplish very difficult, as the bird will absolutely know that people are home in the house, and will know who your fiance is, and this is most-likely going to result in a very loud, screaming bird in a cage, all day long, or at the very least this is a good possibility that you must consider
-You can spend every moment that bird is out of it's cage with it, and it might absolutely hate you, and simply bond with your fiance from afar because she is always around
-Even if the bird "bonds" with you, this has nothing at all to do with the bird being "obedient", which is kind of the way I think you're thinking; A bonded bird is just like a bonded child, they act-out, are loud, and certainly will not be "stuck to your shoulder" at all times while you're walking around, this is not what a "bond" with a bird means at all
-As someone with 2 dogs and 4 parrots (and 8 Budgies) I can tell you that if you don't modify the situation with both your current dogs and cats when the bird is out of it's cage, and while in it's cage if the dogs and cats are allowed to be near the cage, that this is a very dangerous situation for a bird to be in
-Cats are innate, natural hunters, regardless of how nice they are or how they act around other animals, and allowing your bird out of it's cage and in the same room with one or more cats and then dogs as well is eventually going to end badly, as no bird is going to stay on your shoulder because it is "bonded" with you as it's person, that's not what "bonded" to you means

Think of how a young child is "bonded" to his mommy and daddy. Seriously. That's exactly what the bond between a parrot and it's person is like. Obviously just because a child is bonded to it's parent or parents, this does not mean that the child is "stuck" to their parents 24/7, nor does it mean that no one else interacts with the child, nor does it mean that the child doesn't act-out, be loud, get in-trouble, etc. Less-so with a bird. So please don't assume that you will not have to make safety procedures and changes about when the dogs and cats will be allowed out with the bird, and vice versa. Cats and birds do not usually mix at all. I have 2 dogs, one that is fine with my birds, one that is not at all, no matter what I do, and as such he gets put into another room when I have a bird in the room free. It's just not worth the risk. Modifications have to be made, and though different for every home and family, they will have to be made, as the first time your bird flies off of your shoulder may be it's last...

***I guess I'd rather ask you a very serious and pertinent question, a question that you absolutely need to think about, if you haven't already considered...

"What's your contingency plan if whatever bird you bring home does not bond with you like you want it to, but rather with your fiance? What if the bird doesn't like you at all? What if the bird spends all day long inside it's cage screaming and crying?"

I guess the question is, if any of these things happen, which they very likely may, are you open to making the bird a family bird at that point, especially if the bird decides that your fiance is it's person and not you, are you open to that?

Thank you for all your advice. If the bird does not behave the way I want it to it will be set free in the wild, there are plenty of other birds around my house. They can play together

Seriously though, you make some valid points but nothing that hasn’t already crossed my mind. I’m going to a very reputable store tomorrow in dc. When I told them I was scared away of ownership due to this forum they laughed and told me to stop going on here. I wonder why? [emoji23]


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[charmedbyekkie]

If the bird does not behave the way I want it to it will be set free in the wild, there are plenty of other birds around my house. They can play together

Please tell me you're not serious! A bird that hasn't grown up in the wild typically has hardly any skills to survive in the wild and would likely die or be killed quite quickly. The lost parrot who chanced upon my balcony was starving and toe-tapping after having been lost for a week (lucky for him, he had chanced upon another place before me and was fed/watered there). Any tame creature should not be released to the wild unless you intend to kill them (but just don't intend to watch).

Please find a home. Human homes will be all they know. Not the life of foraging and negotiating tricky ecosystem dynamics.

 

[frankie.rainieri]

Seriously though, you make some valid points but nothing that hasn’t already crossed my mind. I’m going to a very reputable store tomorrow in dc. When I told them I was scared away of ownership due to this forum they laughed and told me to stop going on here. I wonder why? [emoji23]


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[frankie.rainieri]

If the bird does not behave the way I want it to it will be set free in the wild, there are plenty of other birds around my house. They can play together

Please tell me you're not serious! A bird that hasn't grown up in the wild typically has hardly any skills to survive in the wild and would likely die or be killed quite quickly. The lost parrot who chanced upon my balcony was starving and toe-tapping after having been lost for a week (lucky for him, he had chanced upon another place before me and was fed/watered there). Any tame creature should not be released to the wild unless you intend to kill them (but just don't intend to watch).

Please find a home. Human homes will be all they know. Not the life of foraging and negotiating tricky ecosystem dynamics.

I was being sarcastic.. Thank you all for your REAL world advice and experience. I’m no longer interested in being interrogated by Ellen and that other woman.


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[charmedbyekkie]

Seriously though, you make some valid points but nothing that hasn’t already crossed my mind. I’m going to a very reputable store tomorrow in dc. When I told them I was scared away of ownership due to this forum they laughed and told me to stop going on here. I wonder why? [emoji23]


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As for the store, I can only say that members of the forum are diverse, but we aren't trying to sell you something to make a buck. Sometimes members can be a bit direct in conveying their points, but overall, good intentions for the well-being of an innocent life

Don't be scared away from here

 

[Sunnyclover]

I think what I didn't say in the other "Conure" thread that I should have said, and that SunnyClover hit-on, is that for whatever reason, your idea of how a bird "bonds" to you is set in your mind as whatever bird you bring home, baby or adult, that doesn't really matter in this situation, will bond solely and only to you, if you are the only person in the house that has any direct contact with it, that if no one else in the house touches, talks to, or goes near the bird, and if the bird is locked inside a cage all day long, by itself, alone, and no one else goes near him but you, that this will result in a bird who wants nothing but to be quite literally "stuck to you" when you get home at night for the 3 hours you're going to spend with him....And that the bird's "bond", as you describe it or think of it, is going to keep it literally "stuck" to your shoulder all the time and in all situations, thus making you feel that it's alright to not change anything in your household regarding your other pets, the dogs and the cats, because the bird will not ever leave your shoulder, as mentioned it will literally be like a "statue on your shoulder"...And this is your rationale for not having to keep the dogs or cats away from the bird....I hope I'm describing this accurately, as this is what I'm getting from what you are trying to or wanting to achieve, as you've somewhere gotten this idea that a bird's "bond" to "their person" is actually just as I've described, and my fear, or the biggest fear for whatever bird you bring home, is that this idea that you have of what a bird's "bond" is to their person is going to give you a false-sense of security and safety in your home with other potentially dangerous animals.

I don't think you're a bad person at all, I never did. You said that I "flamed you", however I didn't flame you, I just didn't pull any punches with you and attempted to inform you that this sort of "bond-forming training-plan" that you've come-up with is based on this idea that you have of what a bird's bond to a person is, and because that idea of bird's bond to a human is not accurate, you're entire plan to accomplish that goal is not going to work, or at the very least has a great chance of failing...

The fact of the matter is this:
-There is no way to force any bird to bond with one particular person
-The fact that your fiance is going to be home all day, even if she has no contact with the bird, makes what you are wanting to accomplish very difficult, as the bird will absolutely know that people are home in the house, and will know who your fiance is, and this is most-likely going to result in a very loud, screaming bird in a cage, all day long, or at the very least this is a good possibility that you must consider
-You can spend every moment that bird is out of it's cage with it, and it might absolutely hate you, and simply bond with your fiance from afar because she is always around
-Even if the bird "bonds" with you, this has nothing at all to do with the bird being "obedient", which is kind of the way I think you're thinking; A bonded bird is just like a bonded child, they act-out, are loud, and certainly will not be "stuck to your shoulder" at all times while you're walking around, this is not what a "bond" with a bird means at all
-As someone with 2 dogs and 4 parrots (and 8 Budgies) I can tell you that if you don't modify the situation with both your current dogs and cats when the bird is out of it's cage, and while in it's cage if the dogs and cats are allowed to be near the cage, that this is a very dangerous situation for a bird to be in
-Cats are innate, natural hunters, regardless of how nice they are or how they act around other animals, and allowing your bird out of it's cage and in the same room with one or more cats and then dogs as well is eventually going to end badly, as no bird is going to stay on your shoulder because it is "bonded" with you as it's person, that's not what "bonded" to you means

Think of how a young child is "bonded" to his mommy and daddy. Seriously. That's exactly what the bond between a parrot and it's person is like. Obviously just because a child is bonded to it's parent or parents, this does not mean that the child is "stuck" to their parents 24/7, nor does it mean that no one else interacts with the child, nor does it mean that the child doesn't act-out, be loud, get in-trouble, etc. Less-so with a bird. So please don't assume that you will not have to make safety procedures and changes about when the dogs and cats will be allowed out with the bird, and vice versa. Cats and birds do not usually mix at all. I have 2 dogs, one that is fine with my birds, one that is not at all, no matter what I do, and as such he gets put into another room when I have a bird in the room free. It's just not worth the risk. Modifications have to be made, and though different for every home and family, they will have to be made, as the first time your bird flies off of your shoulder may be it's last...

***I guess I'd rather ask you a very serious and pertinent question, a question that you absolutely need to think about, if you haven't already considered...

"What's your contingency plan if whatever bird you bring home does not bond with you like you want it to, but rather with your fiance? What if the bird doesn't like you at all? What if the bird spends all day long inside it's cage screaming and crying?"

I guess the question is, if any of these things happen, which they very likely may, are you open to making the bird a family bird at that point, especially if the bird decides that your fiance is it's person and not you, are you open to that?

Thank you for all your advice. If the bird does not behave the way I want it to it will be set free in the wild, there are plenty of other birds around my house. They can play together

Seriously though, you make some valid points but nothing that hasn’t already crossed my mind. I’m going to a very reputable store tomorrow in dc. When I told them I was scared away of ownership due to this forum they laughed and told me to stop going on here. I wonder why? [emoji23]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Because they want your money...

We don't want your money....

...............

We want happy, well taken care of birds.......

 

[frankie.rainieri]

I think what I didn't say in the other "Conure" thread that I should have said, and that SunnyClover hit-on, is that for whatever reason, your idea of how a bird "bonds" to you is set in your mind as whatever bird you bring home, baby or adult, that doesn't really matter in this situation, will bond solely and only to you, if you are the only person in the house that has any direct contact with it, that if no one else in the house touches, talks to, or goes near the bird, and if the bird is locked inside a cage all day long, by itself, alone, and no one else goes near him but you, that this will result in a bird who wants nothing but to be quite literally "stuck to you" when you get home at night for the 3 hours you're going to spend with him....And that the bird's "bond", as you describe it or think of it, is going to keep it literally "stuck" to your shoulder all the time and in all situations, thus making you feel that it's alright to not change anything in your household regarding your other pets, the dogs and the cats, because the bird will not ever leave your shoulder, as mentioned it will literally be like a "statue on your shoulder"...And this is your rationale for not having to keep the dogs or cats away from the bird....I hope I'm describing this accurately, as this is what I'm getting from what you are trying to or wanting to achieve, as you've somewhere gotten this idea that a bird's "bond" to "their person" is actually just as I've described, and my fear, or the biggest fear for whatever bird you bring home, is that this idea that you have of what a bird's "bond" is to their person is going to give you a false-sense of security and safety in your home with other potentially dangerous animals.



I don't think you're a bad person at all, I never did. You said that I "flamed you", however I didn't flame you, I just didn't pull any punches with you and attempted to inform you that this sort of "bond-forming training-plan" that you've come-up with is based on this idea that you have of what a bird's bond to a person is, and because that idea of bird's bond to a human is not accurate, you're entire plan to accomplish that goal is not going to work, or at the very least has a great chance of failing...



The fact of the matter is this:

-There is no way to force any bird to bond with one particular person

-The fact that your fiance is going to be home all day, even if she has no contact with the bird, makes what you are wanting to accomplish very difficult, as the bird will absolutely know that people are home in the house, and will know who your fiance is, and this is most-likely going to result in a very loud, screaming bird in a cage, all day long, or at the very least this is a good possibility that you must consider

-You can spend every moment that bird is out of it's cage with it, and it might absolutely hate you, and simply bond with your fiance from afar because she is always around

-Even if the bird "bonds" with you, this has nothing at all to do with the bird being "obedient", which is kind of the way I think you're thinking; A bonded bird is just like a bonded child, they act-out, are loud, and certainly will not be "stuck to your shoulder" at all times while you're walking around, this is not what a "bond" with a bird means at all

-As someone with 2 dogs and 4 parrots (and 8 Budgies) I can tell you that if you don't modify the situation with both your current dogs and cats when the bird is out of it's cage, and while in it's cage if the dogs and cats are allowed to be near the cage, that this is a very dangerous situation for a bird to be in

-Cats are innate, natural hunters, regardless of how nice they are or how they act around other animals, and allowing your bird out of it's cage and in the same room with one or more cats and then dogs as well is eventually going to end badly, as no bird is going to stay on your shoulder because it is "bonded" with you as it's person, that's not what "bonded" to you means



Think of how a young child is "bonded" to his mommy and daddy. Seriously. That's exactly what the bond between a parrot and it's person is like. Obviously just because a child is bonded to it's parent or parents, this does not mean that the child is "stuck" to their parents 24/7, nor does it mean that no one else interacts with the child, nor does it mean that the child doesn't act-out, be loud, get in-trouble, etc. Less-so with a bird. So please don't assume that you will not have to make safety procedures and changes about when the dogs and cats will be allowed out with the bird, and vice versa. Cats and birds do not usually mix at all. I have 2 dogs, one that is fine with my birds, one that is not at all, no matter what I do, and as such he gets put into another room when I have a bird in the room free. It's just not worth the risk. Modifications have to be made, and though different for every home and family, they will have to be made, as the first time your bird flies off of your shoulder may be it's last...



***I guess I'd rather ask you a very serious and pertinent question, a question that you absolutely need to think about, if you haven't already considered...



"What's your contingency plan if whatever bird you bring home does not bond with you like you want it to, but rather with your fiance? What if the bird doesn't like you at all? What if the bird spends all day long inside it's cage screaming and crying?"



I guess the question is, if any of these things happen, which they very likely may, are you open to making the bird a family bird at that point, especially if the bird decides that your fiance is it's person and not you, are you open to that?

Thank you for all your advice. If the bird does not behave the way I want it to it will be set free in the wild, there are plenty of other birds around my house. They can play together



Seriously though, you make some valid points but nothing that hasn’t already crossed my mind. I’m going to a very reputable store tomorrow in dc. When I told them I was scared away of ownership due to this forum they laughed and told me to stop going on here. I wonder why? [emoji23]





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Because they want your money...



We don't want your money....



...............



We want happy, well taken care of birds.......

Good thinking except for the fact that it’s a local store Iv gone to for years. He knew I was there to talk to him and not spend a dime. That I was buying elsewhere. Have you all had 20 plus birds for most of your life? Your sharing personal experiences and opinions, not professional advice in my opinion. I will not be scolded into changing what I want out of a bird. If it can adapt and give me what I want then great. If it can’t, it can’t.


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[frankie.rainieri]

Ok... I'm in a very similar situation, I work 9-5 5 days a week and travel an hour each way to get there and back. I have weekends off. My husband is home most days working and we have a dog and a cat and a Mynah bird (and snakes in another room, which are irrelevant to this particular issue!).

I wanted a parrot, I had seen the love my husband got from his OWA Charlie who we had for far too short an amount of time. I love my Mynah, but she's a little Madam! So I looked at big macaws... research and reality said nope, eclectus....nope, smaller macaws....research said no to them too. So I found Alexandrines and researched and researched and asked questions and did more research and felt the species was right for me. I liked the size, thought they were beautiful and knew they were 'independent' and known to be able to entertain themselves.

I've had McCoy for 15 months now and we are in love! He is definitely my bird, although my husband did give him space when we got him in the hope that he'd bond with me. He does stay in his cage while I'm at work, but my husband will sit by his cage and chat to him on and off throughout the day and does pay him some attention. When I'm home and he isn't out I sit by him and we do tricks and training and then when we've eaten ( the humans have eaten I mean) he comes out for as long as possible. At the weekend he is out of his cage most of the day some days. When he's out he also has access to an outside aviary.

He is happy and healthy and bright and lovely! He has toys to eat and play with while I'm away, but he's very chilled. He doesn't suffer and his life is in no way cruel.

The only thing I think is unrealistic is walking about your house with your bird and your other pets being generally around. McCoy is only out if the cat is shut out and the dog is in his run outside. Please don't mix other pets (aka predators) and birds. At some point they'll be themselves and someone will get hurt.

Also it's a good point that your bird might not know it's yours and might bond with your fiancé. Charlie was all my husband and McCoy is all me. I'm the one that fed and cleaned and everything else-ed both of them, that's just what they decided (thankfully)!

Good luck with your quest! I think you sound like you've thought about it and made a good choice.

Yes EXACTLY. If it bonds with my girl then I was planning on just saying she leaves it alone. Sorry Ellen yes the poor bird will not be paid attention to.. I’m the owner, human, and master of anything that comes into MY house. The bird that is so intellectual and social will need to learn I’m the one it has fun with. People have done it and are doing it with success. Look up 60/40 method. I will not be made feel like a devil for forcing my bird to receive the most attention from me. And IF it still doesn’t work that is FINE. But the bird WILL be socialized between the two of us and others extensively to do our best in having it friendly with everyone.


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[Sunnyclover]

I take back what I said about you being a nice person. You think you know everything...fine...good for you. You clearly don't want help. We're not trying to gain anything here obviously other than happy and healthy birds. What on earth do you think my agenda is? I was NOT trying to hurt you or make you upset and if I did I'm sorry and if you don't care then I don't understand why you're still posting. You're just hurting yourself and your bird if you get one. Also if that pet store is sooooooooo great then how do you not know everything already? You're contradicting yourself at this point. Please just give it a rest and either post a new thread when you get a bird so we can help you or just stop.

 

[frankie.rainieri]

I take back what I said about you being a nice person. If you don't care what we're saying and trying to help you then stop posting please. You think you know everything...fine...good for you. You clearly don't want help. We're not trying to gain anything here obviously other than happy and healthy birds. What on earth do you think my agenda is? I was NOT trying to hurt you or make you upset and if I did I'm sorry and if you don't care then I don't understand why you're still posting. You're just hurting yourself and your bird if you get one. Also if that pet store is sooooooooo great then how do you not know everything already? You're contradicting yourself at this point. Please just give it a rest and either post a new thread when you get a bird so we can help you or just stop.

I could care less if you think I’m nice or not. I am still here because I appreciate what the others are saying. You and the other poster here are just getting in the way. You lost my respect when you try to throw in my face how I think bonded is a Velcro statue. I TOLD you that was the idea I gathered from all the videos Iv watched on YouTube. Also, all you bird people refer to your birds as “Velcro”. How the heck would I know what they are really like, that’s why I’m here?!? If your gonna be shoving your advice down my throat I’m not interested.

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[GaleriaGila]

I'm so very sad that you feel led to this sarcasm. I'm confused and hurt.
I know that many of our hearts here are all on the floor.
Birds die every day. True. People, too. Life, the world, can be cruel.
May your heart and soul be uplifted.
Yes, Moderators are deliberating on what to do...

 

[wrench13]

Mods give the guy a chance - he is still here and asking questions.

Frankie - if he/she does no work out please find him/her a good home -
but I bet the first time the little one whistles for you he or she will have found
it. Good Luck.

 

[Wingnut]

I have no idea what really went on in this forum, but from the past few pages it seems there is some strife. Let me just throw my 2 cents out there...

1) It’s a bird forum. People come here to share pictures, give/get advice, and ask about the going’s on in the bird world. I Love my birds even though sometimes I know they don’t even want me to touch them. It’s just a Love I have always had since I was a young child for birds.
That being said, you don’t HAVE to love birds or be obsessed like I am, but at least show some resemblance of respect and care for them as an owner.

2) If you are truly having severe issues with your bird to the point of deciding to let it go, PLEASE look for an adoption or or other means instead of letting it go into the “wild.” It’s a high chance ticket to a slow and sad death. Here in Florida seeing stray pet birds is common, and most don’t make it past 2 weeks.

If this is an issue with a cockatiel, trust me they can be tamed. It just takes a little patience is all. I never really agreed with certain species of birds being good “starter” birds. You will know when you have found the right one for you. Even if the bird doesn’t feel comfortable now, it knows that you take care of him/her. That bond in itself will grow IN TIME into an amazing ownership.

 

[Inger]

Frankie doesn’t have a bird. Frankie seems to have figured out the best way to get reactions from people and has decided to “poke the bear” as it were.




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[Anansi]

Okay, everyone. Let's all simmer down and take a collective deep breath. This thread has gone far astray from its original question. We all love birds here. It's the very theme that unites us.

The OP has come here looking for answers. He has no experience with birds and is asking for the benefit of our collective experience. Many have given their advice, which is great. It's what we do, and part of what makes this such a wonderful place to be. But in giving advice, we must all understand that the recipient will either heed said advice or he won't. Beyond suggestions made, however, there is really nothing else to be done.

And as for the OP, I've edited your post. I'm sure you understand why.

Let's not argue and turn the atmosphere here into something ugly and less than constructive. The OP is asking for advice about getting a cockatiel and the feasibility of doing so with a full-time job, dogs and cats in the home, and a partner who would not necessarily be taking on a significant role in the bird's life. I'm going to ask that we all give this a fresh start and endeavor to keep this thread on topic and positive.

Thank you all in advance for your understanding and cooperation.

 

[LordTriggs]

in short yes it's possible to keep a bird when working full time. My Conure who was with me was a very well behaved bird but I was the only person in my home and I lucked out with him big time with him being a little cuddle bug.

The main thing to remember is that with more than one person at home a cockatiel can bond with whoever it wants, that's not a case of training or limiting time with others. I've seen threads where someone dotes on their bird every day but it goes to their partner or child who doesn't even look at the bird. There's no 'master' 'pet' relationship with a bird despite what some people believe. But if it doesn't go the way you want in regards to behavior or bond letting the bird go free is akin to a death sentence, seriously it would be easier on the cockatiel to just break its neck if you were to do that. Not to be overtly blunt or harsh that is the simple fact of it, animals kept in human homes just don't know how to survive in the wild.

As for cats and a dog yes it's possible but just make sure you're safe in regards to animals and bird out, cats and dogs have their predator instinct hardwired into their DNA and it can always take over removing any training or obedience instilled in them.

Do also remember people here have nothing to gain out of you getting or not getting a bird, sure some replies may not be constructed in a way you like but people are trying to offer what knowledge they can. Meanwhile a pet store (even one you don't plan on buying the bird itself from) sees potential profit from you by way of food, toys, cage ETC. Always keep in mind with any business (even good ones) that they want your money

Edit: I just read your other thread in the Conure forum and with a bit of info from that I would advise not getting a bird at the moment. It appears your fiance doesn't exactly want one, I know if my partner got a pet I didn't want it would be a cause of contention in the relationship, especially if I specifically said I did not want one I would seriously think about ending a relationship as clearly in that case my feelings don't matter.

Also not to be 'that guy' but your thinking around a bird's brain and how it works with them needs a severe change. no the parrot doesn't pay to live there, they didn't choose to live there though did they? You bring them into your home and then begin stipulating who they are allowed to like. They're not programmable and to an extent do what they want. I hated it when my Conure would zoom about my place screeching away but it wasn't something I could change, nor would I want to. It was who he was, it's what he enjoyed doing. Who am I to decree that he's not allowed to enjoy his life? If you had a child would you control every single part of their life? What TV shows they like, if the prefer you or your fiance? what food they liked? Unfortunately unlike a dog or even a cat a bird does not look to a human for approval or permission for everything, in fact they often do exactly what they shouldn't do to get a reaction from you because they find it amusing.

Just some things to take in there, not me bashing or flaming or whatevering. Just my honest opinion what will keep you, your fiance, your dogs, your cat and a bird happiest

 

[EllenD]

I think what I didn't say in the other "Conure" thread that I should have said, and that SunnyClover hit-on, is that for whatever reason, your idea of how a bird "bonds" to you is set in your mind as whatever bird you bring home, baby or adult, that doesn't really matter in this situation, will bond solely and only to you, if you are the only person in the house that has any direct contact with it, that if no one else in the house touches, talks to, or goes near the bird, and if the bird is locked inside a cage all day long, by itself, alone, and no one else goes near him but you, that this will result in a bird who wants nothing but to be quite literally "stuck to you" when you get home at night for the 3 hours you're going to spend with him....And that the bird's "bond", as you describe it or think of it, is going to keep it literally "stuck" to your shoulder all the time and in all situations, thus making you feel that it's alright to not change anything in your household regarding your other pets, the dogs and the cats, because the bird will not ever leave your shoulder, as mentioned it will literally be like a "statue on your shoulder"...And this is your rationale for not having to keep the dogs or cats away from the bird....I hope I'm describing this accurately, as this is what I'm getting from what you are trying to or wanting to achieve, as you've somewhere gotten this idea that a bird's "bond" to "their person" is actually just as I've described, and my fear, or the biggest fear for whatever bird you bring home, is that this idea that you have of what a bird's "bond" is to their person is going to give you a false-sense of security and safety in your home with other potentially dangerous animals.

I don't think you're a bad person at all, I never did. You said that I "flamed you", however I didn't flame you, I just didn't pull any punches with you and attempted to inform you that this sort of "bond-forming training-plan" that you've come-up with is based on this idea that you have of what a bird's bond to a person is, and because that idea of bird's bond to a human is not accurate, you're entire plan to accomplish that goal is not going to work, or at the very least has a great chance of failing...

The fact of the matter is this:
-There is no way to force any bird to bond with one particular person
-The fact that your fiance is going to be home all day, even if she has no contact with the bird, makes what you are wanting to accomplish very difficult, as the bird will absolutely know that people are home in the house, and will know who your fiance is, and this is most-likely going to result in a very loud, screaming bird in a cage, all day long, or at the very least this is a good possibility that you must consider
-You can spend every moment that bird is out of it's cage with it, and it might absolutely hate you, and simply bond with your fiance from afar because she is always around
-Even if the bird "bonds" with you, this has nothing at all to do with the bird being "obedient", which is kind of the way I think you're thinking; A bonded bird is just like a bonded child, they act-out, are loud, and certainly will not be "stuck to your shoulder" at all times while you're walking around, this is not what a "bond" with a bird means at all
-As someone with 2 dogs and 4 parrots (and 8 Budgies) I can tell you that if you don't modify the situation with both your current dogs and cats when the bird is out of it's cage, and while in it's cage if the dogs and cats are allowed to be near the cage, that this is a very dangerous situation for a bird to be in
-Cats are innate, natural hunters, regardless of how nice they are or how they act around other animals, and allowing your bird out of it's cage and in the same room with one or more cats and then dogs as well is eventually going to end badly, as no bird is going to stay on your shoulder because it is "bonded" with you as it's person, that's not what "bonded" to you means

Think of how a young child is "bonded" to his mommy and daddy. Seriously. That's exactly what the bond between a parrot and it's person is like. Obviously just because a child is bonded to it's parent or parents, this does not mean that the child is "stuck" to their parents 24/7, nor does it mean that no one else interacts with the child, nor does it mean that the child doesn't act-out, be loud, get in-trouble, etc. Less-so with a bird. So please don't assume that you will not have to make safety procedures and changes about when the dogs and cats will be allowed out with the bird, and vice versa. Cats and birds do not usually mix at all. I have 2 dogs, one that is fine with my birds, one that is not at all, no matter what I do, and as such he gets put into another room when I have a bird in the room free. It's just not worth the risk. Modifications have to be made, and though different for every home and family, they will have to be made, as the first time your bird flies off of your shoulder may be it's last...

***I guess I'd rather ask you a very serious and pertinent question, a question that you absolutely need to think about, if you haven't already considered...

"What's your contingency plan if whatever bird you bring home does not bond with you like you want it to, but rather with your fiance? What if the bird doesn't like you at all? What if the bird spends all day long inside it's cage screaming and crying?"

I guess the question is, if any of these things happen, which they very likely may, are you open to making the bird a family bird at that point, especially if the bird decides that your fiance is it's person and not you, are you open to that?

Okay, this is a bit much. What if, what if, what if,..... I am all for a person doing their homework about getting a particular pet but I am not about 'what ifing' that decision to death. Those things you mentioned might happen, or they may never happen, but let's cross that bridge when we get there.

I agree with you that I posted a lot of questions and potential possible "outcomes", but the problem with this particular situation, and the reason I purposely listed all of these possibilities, is that this person has stated that he only wants this bird to interact with him, only be taken care of by him, only be bonded to him, wants his fiance who lives with him and who is home all day long, and who could provide much enrichment and attention to the bird, and let the bird out of his cage for more than the 3 hours a day during the week that he will, to have nothing to do with his bird, and also wants his bird to not force his current household and pet routines to require ANY changes at all regarding his current dog and 2 cats, meaning his bird will quite-literally "stick" to him at all times and not leave his shoulder, thus he will not have to change the way his dogs/cats are housed, kept-out, etc. around the free-bird...

So this isn't a situation where you can "Wait and cross that bridge when he gets to it", I purposely listed all of these possibilities ONLY BECAUSE of the OP's extremely strict guidelines and his own strict expectations of what his "bonded" bird will be like...And you know full-well that any one of these things could easily happen...

So I think the responsible thing for the OP to do is to simply consider these possibilities and think about how he is going to react to them, and decide whether or not he will be able to change his expectations for his bird BEFORE HE GOES AND GETS ONE! Trying to get the OP to make these considerations and ask himself these questions before getting a bird is necessary to prevent a re-homing situation.

****One of the main reasons there are so many parrots on Craigslist and in Rescues/Shelters for re-homing is because people do not ever ask themselves any of the questions they should before getting a bird...And in the case of this particular OP, he's been very forth-coming about what he wants in a pet bird, and what his expectations of this bird will be, and he has admitted that he is absolutely putting his wants and needs before that of any bird (To his credit, I might add, he's being completely honest, which is the only way to get the correct information, so good for him, I respect him for this)...So based on the very forward and honest expectations, wants, and needs that this OP simply expects from any bird that he brings home, these are the questions he must ask himself before getting any bird. Period.

Waiting to "cross that bridge when he gets to it" for this particular situation and OP is only going to result in a sad/devastated/frustrated/angry owner and another bird that needs to find a new home...

 

[eagle18]

I'm so very sad that you feel led to this sarcasm. I'm confused and hurt.
I know that many of our hearts here are all on the floor.
Birds die every day. True. People, too. Life, the world, can be cruel.
May your heart and soul be uplifted.
Yes, Moderators are deliberating on what to do...

I have no beef with you for you have always been nice to me. But you don't know how this group can sometimes come across to new members. Let me tell you that 'some' people here are way too cliquish, and way too lecturing. They have talked to myself and others like we are 12 years old.

Of course they care about birds, we all do, or else we wouldn't even join a parrot site.

And if you can't see any of that then you are way too close to the people involved.

 

[eagle18]

I think what I didn't say in the other "Conure" thread that I should have said, and that SunnyClover hit-on, is that for whatever reason, your idea of how a bird "bonds" to you is set in your mind as whatever bird you bring home, baby or adult, that doesn't really matter in this situation, will bond solely and only to you, if you are the only person in the house that has any direct contact with it, that if no one else in the house touches, talks to, or goes near the bird, and if the bird is locked inside a cage all day long, by itself, alone, and no one else goes near him but you, that this will result in a bird who wants nothing but to be quite literally "stuck to you" when you get home at night for the 3 hours you're going to spend with him....And that the bird's "bond", as you describe it or think of it, is going to keep it literally "stuck" to your shoulder all the time and in all situations, thus making you feel that it's alright to not change anything in your household regarding your other pets, the dogs and the cats, because the bird will not ever leave your shoulder, as mentioned it will literally be like a "statue on your shoulder"...And this is your rationale for not having to keep the dogs or cats away from the bird....I hope I'm describing this accurately, as this is what I'm getting from what you are trying to or wanting to achieve, as you've somewhere gotten this idea that a bird's "bond" to "their person" is actually just as I've described, and my fear, or the biggest fear for whatever bird you bring home, is that this idea that you have of what a bird's "bond" is to their person is going to give you a false-sense of security and safety in your home with other potentially dangerous animals.

I don't think you're a bad person at all, I never did. You said that I "flamed you", however I didn't flame you, I just didn't pull any punches with you and attempted to inform you that this sort of "bond-forming training-plan" that you've come-up with is based on this idea that you have of what a bird's bond to a person is, and because that idea of bird's bond to a human is not accurate, you're entire plan to accomplish that goal is not going to work, or at the very least has a great chance of failing...

The fact of the matter is this:
-There is no way to force any bird to bond with one particular person
-The fact that your fiance is going to be home all day, even if she has no contact with the bird, makes what you are wanting to accomplish very difficult, as the bird will absolutely know that people are home in the house, and will know who your fiance is, and this is most-likely going to result in a very loud, screaming bird in a cage, all day long, or at the very least this is a good possibility that you must consider
-You can spend every moment that bird is out of it's cage with it, and it might absolutely hate you, and simply bond with your fiance from afar because she is always around
-Even if the bird "bonds" with you, this has nothing at all to do with the bird being "obedient", which is kind of the way I think you're thinking; A bonded bird is just like a bonded child, they act-out, are loud, and certainly will not be "stuck to your shoulder" at all times while you're walking around, this is not what a "bond" with a bird means at all
-As someone with 2 dogs and 4 parrots (and 8 Budgies) I can tell you that if you don't modify the situation with both your current dogs and cats when the bird is out of it's cage, and while in it's cage if the dogs and cats are allowed to be near the cage, that this is a very dangerous situation for a bird to be in
-Cats are innate, natural hunters, regardless of how nice they are or how they act around other animals, and allowing your bird out of it's cage and in the same room with one or more cats and then dogs as well is eventually going to end badly, as no bird is going to stay on your shoulder because it is "bonded" with you as it's person, that's not what "bonded" to you means

Think of how a young child is "bonded" to his mommy and daddy. Seriously. That's exactly what the bond between a parrot and it's person is like. Obviously just because a child is bonded to it's parent or parents, this does not mean that the child is "stuck" to their parents 24/7, nor does it mean that no one else interacts with the child, nor does it mean that the child doesn't act-out, be loud, get in-trouble, etc. Less-so with a bird. So please don't assume that you will not have to make safety procedures and changes about when the dogs and cats will be allowed out with the bird, and vice versa. Cats and birds do not usually mix at all. I have 2 dogs, one that is fine with my birds, one that is not at all, no matter what I do, and as such he gets put into another room when I have a bird in the room free. It's just not worth the risk. Modifications have to be made, and though different for every home and family, they will have to be made, as the first time your bird flies off of your shoulder may be it's last...

***I guess I'd rather ask you a very serious and pertinent question, a question that you absolutely need to think about, if you haven't already considered...

"What's your contingency plan if whatever bird you bring home does not bond with you like you want it to, but rather with your fiance? What if the bird doesn't like you at all? What if the bird spends all day long inside it's cage screaming and crying?"

I guess the question is, if any of these things happen, which they very likely may, are you open to making the bird a family bird at that point, especially if the bird decides that your fiance is it's person and not you, are you open to that?

Okay, this is a bit much. What if, what if, what if,..... I am all for a person doing their homework about getting a particular pet but I am not about 'what ifing' that decision to death. Those things you mentioned might happen, or they may never happen, but let's cross that bridge when we get there.

I agree with you that I posted a lot of questions and potential possible "outcomes", but the problem with this particular situation, and the reason I purposely listed all of these possibilities, is that this person has stated that he only wants this bird to interact with him, only be taken care of by him, only be bonded to him, wants his fiance who lives with him and who is home all day long, and who could provide much enrichment and attention to the bird, and let the bird out of his cage for more than the 3 hours a day during the week that he will, to have nothing to do with his bird, and also wants his bird to not force his current household and pet routines to require ANY changes at all regarding his current dog and 2 cats, meaning his bird will quite-literally "stick" to him at all times and not leave his shoulder, thus he will not have to change the way his dogs/cats are housed, kept-out, etc. around the free-bird...

So this isn't a situation where you can "Wait and cross that bridge when he gets to it", I purposely listed all of these possibilities ONLY BECAUSE of the OP's extremely strict guidelines and his own strict expectations of what his "bonded" bird will be like...And you know full-well that any one of these things could easily happen...

So I think the responsible thing for the OP to do is to simply consider these possibilities and think about how he is going to react to them, and decide whether or not he will be able to change his expectations for his bird BEFORE HE GOES AND GETS ONE! Trying to get the OP to make these considerations and ask himself these questions before getting a bird is necessary to prevent a re-homing situation.

****One of the main reasons there are so many parrots on Craigslist and in Rescues/Shelters for re-homing is because people do not ever ask themselves any of the questions they should before getting a bird...And in the case of this particular OP, he's been very forth-coming about what he wants in a pet bird, and what his expectations of this bird will be, and he has admitted that he is absolutely putting his wants and needs before that of any bird (To his credit, I might add, he's being completely honest, which is the only way to get the correct information, so good for him, I respect him for this)...So based on the very forward and honest expectations, wants, and needs that this OP simply expects from any bird that he brings home, these are the questions he must ask himself before getting any bird. Period.

Waiting to "cross that bridge when he gets to it" for this particular situation and OP is only going to result in a sad/devastated/frustrated/angry owner and another bird that needs to find a new home...

You know the funny thing is, is that I actually enjoy reading what you write. I think you more than cover the bases while giving great advice.

What I don't like is for adults to lecture other adults. Some people on this site have a nasty habit of talking down to new members like we are 12 years old. It is a turnoff and all that is accomplished is the alienation of a potential member. And any information on the bird has gone down the drain as well. So let me ask you, who wins?

If he hadn't of been ganged up on he might have very well been back in the future to say "You know, you were right."

 

[Karlys]

I'm going to try to make my comment as objective as possible to hopefully help OP's (future) bird. I don't want to dissuade anyone from getting a cockatiel but I would agree that it's not all sweetness and funny antics like on YouTube.

I have a baby 5 month old cockatiel. We met her at the breeder when she was about a month old and went to visit about every other day until she was weaned. I would describe her as a "Velcro" bird, insofar as her favorite place to be is with my partner or I. However, I wouldn't say she's content to just sit there. In fact, she can be rather annoying sometimes, if I'm to be honest. If we don't have toys for her in our lap or next to us on the couch, she chews on my glasses, my partner's watch, our clothing, the couch... anything. Sometimes, even if she does have several toys, she decides that they're not enough and that something she shouldn't chew on is way more interesting. If you're on your phone, she tries to see what it's all about and presses buttons, exits apps, types nonsense, perches precariously on top of the phone, etc.

She poops every ten to fifteen minutes. If that's on your shirt, your couch, your face, in your hair, it doesn't matter. It's very easy to clean and often doesn't leave any residue but it happens.

When we're in the same room but not paying attention to her, she makes noise. When we're in the other room but she knows we're there, she makes noise. She's only quiet when she is on or next to someone out of her cage. Sometimes, especially lately because she's molting and is very itchy, she's in a bad mood and wants to be on/near us but doesn't want to be touched. She will hiss and bite (although gently so far) to tell us to leave her alone.

She isn't fully flighted yet because she was clipped before she came to us but she can still fly a good 4-5 feet and is getting better at it. Randomly, she'll decide to do so for no apparent reason. This often puts her on the floor. The only other pets we have live in tanks (fish and lizards), so we don't have to worry but I can see how that would be dangerous with a cat or dog.

But why deal with all of that? Because the good stuff (scratches, cuddles, learning tricks, playing...) makes it all worth it. They capture your heart quickly and easily.

Ultimately, OP, I hope you can take in what everyone has said and use it. Even if you don't like the attitudes of some of the members of our forum, know that they have the best interest of the bird at heart and they're incredibly experienced.