Can't stop crying

[henry0reilly]

My birds didn't die. I let them go to a well established rehab/rescue. Their life here was not very good at all, Max has needed to go to the vet for at least 2 years and we just kept putting it off. BabyBird was screaming more and more often and starting to pluck her chest again. My wife kept yelling at her and sometimes throwing things at her cage and every time she walked away said, "I hate that bird" but she's telling me we have to go to rescue and get them back?

 

[wrench13]

At the risk of seeming to be insensitive, I ask what will be different if you do take them back? I know how you feel, I surrendered my very first parrot 38 years ago, and I still feel guilty about it.

 

[ravvlet]

With all due respect, I think you made the right decision, and before you consider retrieving your birds or getting another bird, your wife needs to have a conversation with you and perhaps a medical professional about her behavior. I understand being upset by constant screaming or unwanted behavior, but it’s not appropriate to regularly throw things or yell and threaten the birds - they didn’t ask to live with us.

I too have a short fuse and snap and yell at things sometimes, but if it’s something that is happening regularly that’s a serious issue, and it’s not something that will get better overnight, it will take work. Think of the yelling and throwing things as an “unwanted behavior”, just as much as your cockatoo screaming and plucking is unwanted!

Perhaps ask her to explore why she wants them back, if they were causing her so much stress, anger, and frustration.

I’m sorry you are going through this difficult time. It is hard to say goodbye to a family member, even if they haven’t passed away. Just try to remind yourself it’s for their benefit, and that they have gone to a facility better equipped to care for them.

 

[henry0reilly]

Thanks for your replies. I know the birds will be better off long term with new and hopefully younger parronts, in a home where they are not just another out of more than a dozen neglected pets.

Not only did we let the parrots go, she let them take her 2 very young cockatiels. Some lady that breeds them offered her one and then another out of the next brood. But they didn't just magically hand train themselves when she reached into the cage and she lost interest. I guess I'll need to give names to the canaries.

 

[kme3388]

Parrots aren’t the most easy pet to own. They can be a lot of work. The less you handle them in my opinion the less tame they are. If you step outside any morning you will hear the birds outside making noise. Our parrots that we live with aren’t any different. At the end of the day they are still wild. Parrots make for horrible ornaments. They are noisy, messy, and social. They also have a lot of perks if you interact with them as most people on here have experienced. You did the right thing putting the parrots first, and realizing the best thing for them is to go to a rescue/shelter. They can then start their new future, and find another home.