Feeling overwhelmed!

[FeatherLover]

Feeling overwhelmed! *UPDATE*

We adopted our GCC this past Sun. She came from the most wonderful breeder who really loved & took excellent care of her "babies" (maybe loved them too much), that night we observed Ivy screaming when we left the room. I went back to comfort her, thinking she needed reassurance. The next day, she did the same behavior when we tried to leave her & as I went to reassure her, I started wondering if I was doing the right thing. After talking with the breeder & lots of research on bird screaming I discovered that I was encouraging her. From then on, when she screams we've ignored her. Now it is to the point though, that I have her out all day between me & on her play gym, although she's mostly with me just to avoid the sceaming fits. I'm feeling so overwhelmed having to constantly rearrange everything just to accommodate her, or either put up with the screaming. I feel like I'm doing all the right things, ignoring her screams, praising her sweet sounds, petting her inside the cage, trying to show her how to play with her toys (she's scared of them), & only taking her out when she's quiet. I know it hasn't been long, but after reading lots of similar stories here, I'm wondering if this will ever end? Are all birds her size & up this way, so demanding? Her breeder will take her back with a refund in 30 days if things don't work out. I really don't want that but at this point I feel that I just need a break. At night when I finally cover her up (7pm to 7am) I feel so relieved!! I hate that I'm feeling this way but I had no idea this bird would be so dependent on me. I did my research, lots before I decided to get a GCC & everything seemed like it would be great. Maybe I should've read the forums more carefully. I do want a more independent bird at this point, I'm not sure what to do. Is a GCC capable of this? Should I return her & look for another breed? Please be honest bc I can't imagine the next 20+ years stressed over this needy bird! :30:

Her cage is 30x30x45, not including the stand.

*UPDATE*
I just wanted to give an update in case any of you who responded were following this thread. It's been almost 2wks & Ivy is doing SO much better! She's adjusted to spending more time alone & is not as needy or screamy as she was! She spends all day out of her cage, mostly on her play gym & about 1/3 of that is with me. She does still do a bit of screeching here & there but it's not bad at all & doesn't last long! Shes starting to take interest in her toys & has even leaned a few tricks.
Thanks for all your advice, I'm so happy that I gave it some time!

 

[SandyBee]

Take a deep Breathe!

She's new and she's scared and she is learning her boundaries.
Ignoring screaming will work for some.

We adopted an amazon 4 months ago, if I ignore his screams he screams himself into an even louder frenzy. I have used a different approach. I come and go as I please out of the room he is in, I pay no extra attention to him when he screams I also do not let it stop me from walking back in and talking to him if he is screaming.

This has taught him that screaming does not change anything at all, good or bad. It also gave me the needed break from his constant screams at the beginning. I use a lot of distraction, eg if I am leaving the room I will hand him a toy and tell him I will be right back. He does not scream too much anymore. Also if he starts to scream when I am in another room, I call to him so he can hear me.
I am not sure this is the recommended way of doing things, but it is working for me.
Find something that works for you.

 

[Sherry]

If its not a good fit, it's not a good fit. It happens. I have a sun conure as well as my daughter. Mine is never really loud or screaming (some is normal I'm talking about that really loud screeching), at least. To the point it's crazy. My daughters screamed for hours on end! She brought hers to my home and he's great and the two get along very well. I think it's because my house is pretty loud itself (daycare). They can also see me all the time. By dinner they just want to eat and go to bed. If I may I would suggest you get and african grey. They are awesome birds that are fun and entertaining but can be very independent as well. Mine don't scream or fuss much at all.

 

[aliray]

How old is she. It will take her time to settle in. Remember she or he has just lost the only family she has. her clutch mates, her people and her home. Now everything and everyone is new. Try playing soothing music on the radio or leave the tv on so there is some noise and she also needs to have time in her cage to get used to amusing herself. try a lot of different toys. Q tips, straws tied in a knot they like to chew on them empty clean yogurt cups plastic caps from milk bottles. Things she can pick up and chew on. At the moment she is feeling really insecure, kind of like a new puppy in the early days at home. parrots want to be part of the flock, but like a young puppy or young child they need to learn how to play and what is and is not allowed.

 

[FeatherLover]

Thanks for the suggestions! She is 4-5mos old & was the last of her clutch. My kids are 10, 7, 5 & are home all day (homeschooled).

 

[aliray]

If the kids are there all day than lack of noise probably isn't the problem. Hehe. Is she in another room away from everybody or is her cage near where all the action is because they do like to be in the midst of everything. Is she eating enough and was she fully weaned when you bought her? and did you keep her on whatever the breeder was feeding her at least for a month or so with the addition of veg, fruits, whole grains, pasta, bits of cooked meat and cooked egg. Not all at once but some each day besides her base diet

 

[FeatherLover]

She was fully weaned. Her cage is in our living room, although at the breeders house I suspect she was kept in the "bird room". I was given a seed mix that she gets in the am, fresh fruit mix that she was given at noon, & a cooked veggie/egg/lentil mixture given at 5pm. I have stuck to that routine, adding in a few new things just the past two days. I want to transition her to pellets but am sticking with the seeds for now since that is what she's use to. She's eating off & on all day & get excited about her meals. She's climbing down my arm to get to her dishes as I'm preparing, yet as soon as I put her in cage, she's screaming & eating at the same time LOL!

 

[LoryLover]

In my experience the majority of parrots, small and large, require LOTS of attention. They are just a very social animal and a natural noise maker. I read an article about parrots once that said it's easier for parrots to vocalize loudly and takes more effort on their part to vocalize quietly.

When I had lovebirds, they didn't require much attention. My first lory and the lory I have now, are like little kids - always needing attention and interaction. If you have a couple birds that are friends, they can be buddies.

There was a bird shop that offered bird boarding, and the cockatoos and conures in that shop were so loud that after the first time boarding my 5month old lory, I never did it again because I didn't want my lory to learn all that screeching. And believe me, birds will pick up sounds/noises from other birds - once they learn them, it's hard to break.

 

[MonicaMc]

Species, not breed.... and there's no guarantee that a different species will act any differently when you leave the room. Most parrots are flock creatures and are used to being around others of their kind. It is *not* normal for them to be alone. There are more independent species out there, but the more independent species tend to be more hands off.

Yes, it's possible to teach your conure to scream less or not at all, but it'll probably take more than 30 days. You'll have to teach independence, and it will take a while, especially if she doesn't already play with toys. If you want a "quick fix", you can try bringing home another conure so that the two can keep each other company and will scream less for your attention. However, you may end up with two birds who hate each other and scream more for you and get jealous when the other gets handle, or you may end up with two birds who are so infatuated with each other that they want nothing to do with you. Maybe you'll end up with a happy medium and have two birds who enjoy each others company, can keep each other occupied so there's less screaming and still enjoy interacting with you.


Until she can learn to be independent, or you try getting a companion for her, you and your family are her main sources of entertainment as well as protection. Safety in numbers.

 

[aliray]

Maybe she is complimenting you on what a great cook you are. It may just take more time for her to settle in and she may miss the other birds.

 

[FeatherLover]

This all makes sense, thank you! I guess it's just hard for me to rationalize sometimes when I'm frustrated :08:

 

[LoryLover]

This all makes sense, thank you! I guess it's just hard for me to rationalize sometimes when I'm frustrated :08:

With our first lory who was 5months old when we got him, it took me 2 years to get used to him, lol!! In my mind I would constantly be thinking about whether I could keep up with taking care of him. I'd only had lovebirds before, and a lory was a huge difference. My 14 year old daughter had picked out the lory and my husband was helping too, so we just hung in there and got adjusted to the world of lories!

Sadly that lory died from liver failure when he was 5yrs old. We were all heartbroken. A month later I got a 6 week old chattering lory and I love her to death. She's now 15 years old and daily keeps us amused and very busy. She's like a child to us.

My daughter has since moved out on her own (she's 32 now) and so it's my husband and I taking care of our chattering, and I feel that it really does take at least a couple people to take care of a very interactive and social parrot like our lory. She talks to us all day long and says meaningful things at the right time. Last night my husband spoke to me from another room, and Sweet Pea called out "What?" She plays "toss the hacky sack" - it's her favorite game... all done on the floor - she will grab a hacky sack with her beak and toss it right to me. Usually I'm sitting at the computer and I will kick it back to her. The game will go on and on... She'll also play this game by herself, by tossing it in the air and running after it, pouncing on it and tossing it again.

I guess bottom line, is that you first need to invest some time into a new parrot, getting to know their characteristics, building the bond between you and the parrot, experimenting on what toys/games are the best enjoyed by the parrot... and just approach the whole experience with a fun attitude. There will be speed bumps in the beginning, such as teaching not to bite, teaching better vocalization, etc. It's all worth it though.

 

[Remy]

All parrots require a lot of social time (even just being in the room counts), so make sure she is getting enough. It's good to leave them alone for at least a couple hours a day though, so they get used to being on their own.

She is probably stressed from her move! She is very intelligent, but doesn't understand why she is in this new place, and probably misses the people and birds she is used to. She will get used to you, but it takes time to get to know each other, and to build trust.

It's good for her that you homeschool your kids. If you don't already, it would be a good idea to have her cage or playstand in the same room with them while they are working on schoolwork. This counts as social time, even if you aren't interacting. Think of her as having the mindset of a toddler.