Frustrated/bored yellow-sided conure

[bright_eyes]

Hi,
I just bought my yellow-sided a couple weeks ago. She's 4.5 months old.

My problem is that I go to work from 9-5 Monday to Friday. Actually I'm going to be going back to school in a couple months where my schedule will be more erratic...I won't be in class 8 hours at a time or anything close, but studying is more full-time than a full-time job, so I don't know if I'll be able to give significantly more time. I can have my bird out in my room with me, but I don't think I'll be able to socialize with her much more.
I live with my mom and my mom likes birds a lot, so she talks to her throughout the day and feeds her snacks. But my mom refuses to let the bird out of the cage throughout the live-long day because she just doesn't want to take responsibility for that. She barely even interacts up-close with the bird because she's afraid she'll bite her. It's a fear she has and she seems unwilling to work on it.

These are the lively hours of my bird's day and when I come home I get to spend around 3 hours with her before she has to go to bed. With such little time around me, she's being slow to warm up to me in the first place, so she derives only some pleasure from being with me. I try to let her fly around the room as long as I'm there, and I bought her some toys she seems to like... but I know that birds are strongly social as well as intelligent and she must need more mental stimulation than having a yummy toy.

She seems increasingly bored to me, her feather-preening is starting to look more neurotic to me. Yesterday, I have NO CLUE what happened, but I put her in the cage for half an hour so I could go eat dinner, and when I came back, one of her shorter tail feathers had broken and was hanging from her bent. I've seen this happen to loose feathers before and didn't examine it much. When I did get a look later, it turned out to be a BLOOD FEATHER and there was a nasty spot of blood in that whole area. I was very scared. Fortunately, the feather fell off on its own and her blood clotted up immediately and she seemed to be looking surprised at me for being so concerned, like she didn't notice she was bleeding raw near her butt. She seems fine today, the spot is clear, but I was thinking about what would cause that feather to come off like that? Could it have been a flying injury? I don't know... I am pretty sure I didn't notice that feather hanging before I left her in the cage. Then it might have been her own doing? But what would cause her to preen so desperately that she picks at herself to the point of bleeding?! Is she that upset?! I still don't know if that was it.

I've been thinking of buying a friend for her, but I have a couple concerns:
I know that birds are sensitive and run into health problems unpredictably sometimes and that is VERY expensive. I can take on the responsibility for her but what if both birds got sick? I don't think I can afford that.
The other thing is that if I get one I want to get another girl so that they don't mate. I don't want babies and I don't want them to bond to each other so much that they neglect me.

Even if I do get another girl though, what if they don't get along at all? Is that possible? And of most concern: what if one of them dies sooner than the other, then I've heard that it's possible for birds to get so stressed that they themselves may die soon after. I heard this mostly in the context of mated birds, but what about friends?

The reason I bought my bird is because I'm heavily lonely, and that is probably selfish of me, but I honestly thought when I bought her that I'd be able to keep her happy too. I want to avoid giving her away to someone else, but if she gets markedly more upset with my schedule then I'll have to consider it of course. You see, going to work and to school bears down on me a lot, I don't know why I'm so sensitive to it. I actually feel deeply lonely and sad most of the time, 7 days a week, all year every year. And going to a job or to school just makes it worse. And I do love animals...I crave their love and company, I've wanted them in my life since I was a little kid and that's never changed. I used to have a cat but my mom made me give her away because of the destruction she caused. It felt really awful to have to do that. That was almost 6 years ago and now the loneliness has accumulated and I really don't want to have to go any longer without a pet in my life. I really am open to any care-taking suggestions, except I just can't leave school.

 

[Flboy]

Please do not compound a problem!

 

[bright_eyes]

Please do not compound a problem!

Could you please explain more.

 

[IndySE]

If you just bought her a few weeks ago (from a petstore, I assume?), they may have a 'return' policy. I know when I bought my GCC from the petstore, I had up to 30 days to return her if it didn't work out. Please look into it sooner rather than later in case it's set to expire. If you don't see yourself having the tools to take care of her then it's probably best she goes back to a place where she might find someone who can. You probably CAN make it work (and I have, as a full-time engineering college student which is a very intense work-load indeed), but ask yourself if you truly want that responsibility. It will require you to change quite a lot around to make it work.

I think what flboy is saying is don't buy a second bird. If you don't have time for one bird, you very likely will not have time for 2 birds. 2 random birds you put together aren't guaranteed to get along. They could hate each other and want to attack each other and would need to be separated 100% of the time and you'd have to divide your attention between 2 needy birds.

Also, if you haven't already and plan on keeping her, do take her to the vet.

And finally, the fact that she broke a tail feather isn't necessarily concerning. Baby conures are very clumsy. You can always simplify her cage set-up so she's less likely to brush up against something wrong. My GCC almost lost all her tail feathers at one point due to clumsiness. I'd still take her into a vet check to be sure, but I wouldn't be too concerned about that alone. In the future, if you find she's broken a blood feather, you're supposed to pull it out immediately as it can cause infections/cause her to bleed out too much... I've never had to do it yet and hope I never will

Best of luck !

edit;;
And I would like to mention there are probably better pet choices out there that can maximize affection with less work involved. Consider cats, guinea pigs, etc over a parrot. Anything that's actually domesticated will require less work from a human.

 

[bright_eyes]

If you just bought her a few weeks ago (from a petstore, I assume?), they may have a 'return' policy. I know when I bought my GCC from the petstore, I had up to 30 days to return her if it didn't work out. Please look into it sooner rather than later in case it's set to expire. If you don't see yourself having the tools to take care of her then it's probably best she goes back to a place where she might find someone who can. You probably CAN make it work (and I have, as a full-time engineering college student which is a very intense work-load indeed), but ask yourself if you truly want that responsibility. It will require you to change quite a lot around to make it work.

I think what flboy is saying is don't buy a second bird. If you don't have time for one bird, you very likely will not have time for 2 birds. 2 random birds you put together aren't guaranteed to get along. They could hate each other and want to attack each other and would need to be separated 100% of the time and you'd have to divide your attention between 2 needy birds.

Also, if you haven't already and plan on keeping her, do take her to the vet.

And finally, the fact that she broke a tail feather isn't necessarily concerning. Baby conures are very clumsy. You can always simplify her cage set-up so she's less likely to brush up against something wrong. My GCC almost lost all her tail feathers at one point due to clumsiness. I'd still take her into a vet check to be sure, but I wouldn't be too concerned about that alone. In the future, if you find she's broken a blood feather, you're supposed to pull it out immediately as it can cause infections/cause her to bleed out too much... I've never had to do it yet and hope I never will

Best of luck !

edit;;
And I would like to mention there are probably better pet choices out there that can maximize affection with less work involved. Consider cats, guinea pigs, etc over a parrot. Anything that's actually domesticated will require less work from a human.

Thank you.
Like I said, giving her away is something I only mentioned considering if it turns out that after my efforts, which I wanted advice on, I cannot handle her. I really do like her and want to make this work.

I realize that satisfying two birds with my attention would be tough, but my idea was, would they depend on my attention if they had each other? Also, when birds have a flock, how hard is it to maintain their human-friendliness?

That is so nice to hear about you being an engineering student with a parrot! This is my biggest concern. If I only had as much time as I give to her on weekends I know she'd be happy. I am sure that you had to make a lot of changes. Can you please tell me about some of them?
I'm guessing that one of them is studying at home as much as possible, with a parrot tree near your studying desk?
Thanks!

 

[plumsmum2005]

I suppose until you get your study schedule it is going to be difficult to ascertain exactly what 'free' time each day you will have?

Agree completely another bird will most likely compound the current problems. I feel you need to have a hard think and decide if you have the determination to make owning a parrot work? You chose her! Work on building trust which will make things easier. You will need breaks and being cooped up all the time is not healthy so, you could harness train her or purchase a birdie back pack and take her out for a walk with you as one suggestion. It is amazing how fresh air clears the head.

Some info for you

http://www.parrotforums.com/general-parrot-information/50427-no-time-my-bird-rehome-him.html

http://www.parrotforums.com/general-parrot-information/49144-tips-bonding-building-trust.html

http://www.parrotforums.com/general-parrot-information/300-parrots-bill-rights.html

 

[LordTriggs]

another bird will just split your time down less.

I may sound mean here but you should've thought about your free time before getting her. They need multiple hours a day to interact with humans. If possible take her back to where you got her from. It's in her best interest

 

[bright_eyes]

another bird will just split your time down less.

I may sound mean here but you should've thought about your free time before getting her. They need multiple hours a day to interact with humans. If possible take her back to where you got her from. It's in her best interest

But like, I am pretty sure the majority of owners have full-time schedules too. I want to know how they make it work. I am saying that I am gone during the day when she must be most active. I'm wondering if there's anything I can make work, like a bigger cage, a more efficient schedule for when I get back (because I do get back for 3 hours before her bedtime). Also, I do have my school schedule already and I'm gone for 6 hours on the worst day of the week, so I will technically be able to be home more. It's just that studying is more time-demanding than work. So I'll have to have something she can do while I'm at home studying, but able to be in the same room as her.

I am willing to put in work, is what I'm saying, and I am hoping for advice. I don't understand why people are so quick to suggest you rehome your pets when there are so many worse potential owners out there than the person who's come to them with genuine interest in becoming a better owner.

 

[bright_eyes]

I suppose until you get your study schedule it is going to be difficult to ascertain exactly what 'free' time each day you will have?

Agree completely another bird will most likely compound the current problems. I feel you need to have a hard think and decide if you have the determination to make owning a parrot work? You chose her! Work on building trust which will make things easier. You will need breaks and being cooped up all the time is not healthy so, you could harness train her or purchase a birdie back pack and take her out for a walk with you as one suggestion. It is amazing how fresh air clears the head.

Some info for you

http://www.parrotforums.com/general-parrot-information/50427-no-time-my-bird-rehome-him.html

http://www.parrotforums.com/general-parrot-information/49144-tips-bonding-building-trust.html

http://www.parrotforums.com/general-parrot-information/300-parrots-bill-rights.html

Thank you for the links. Those are very helpful.

I got my schedule already and it doesn't look so bad actually! I mean, I'm in my final year of computer science and I know I'll be drowning in assignments, but if I can just train her in a way to be out of the cage without being disruptive to my studying that would be perfect! And of course I'll take my breaks with her.

 

[IndySE]

As an engineering-student, I'd like to say it IS possible to keep a parrot happy. But when I say it's work, do believe me when I say it's work. Sometimes I want to unwind and sometimes the parrot wants to play... usually the parrot wins LOL. In any case, my bird is good being alone for 6 hours a day, but she's rarely left alone that long. My mom babysits in the day; sometimes she plays with her directly, sometimes the bird is just content to observe her. One thing I've found to be a LIFESAVER is a nice playstand I made. Usually I can get the parrot to play on top while I study -- though beware is the parrot's sweet siren song (scream?) can still lure you away from complete focus on a task.

As to why people suggest rehoming, it's nothing personal and everyone's looking out for the best interest of your bird. She's only been with you for a few weeks, and so the adjustment of going back to the petshop now would be less severe then if you rehomed her 2 years down the line when she's already very bonded to you. As I'm sure you're aware, parrots are deeply emotional and will suffer if they loose their favorite human. No one but you can answer how likely that is, so consider with care. I wish you the best !

 

[T00tsyd]

For what it's worth I am also a new owner and agree that life as part of a flock is very daunting at first. I think you need to back up a little and just clear your head. When you come on a forum like this you see a lot of really dedicated bird owners with years of experience and they look as though they make it easy and their whole life revolves around their birds. For some that's possibly true but there are an awful lot of others I am sure, who muddle along simply doing their best.

You maybe need to give yourself a bit of time to allow some bonding. If you were with your bird 24/7 then bonding would be quicker, as it is you need more patience to give your bird time to know you. I'm sure it will come.

One worry I have is that you are asking your bird to fulfil a need in you. You are asking him to do something that is impossible for such a young anything, dog, cat, rabbit you name it, you need to come to the understanding that you have to put time in to get much back, while keeping a sense of balance in your life.

Your decision is - do you love this bird? Will you love him long term? Do you want the effort to train and be a friend to him on top of your schedule? Are you prepared to give as much as you have to him for his wellbeing rather than your own?

If all the answers to that are yes - then you know where you are. If any are no then you have your answer and must do the best for him while he is young enough to cope.

In a similar way I bought mine from a single Dad with a 2 yr old hell bent on killing it. Either by smashing it with a toy or letting it out the window. He was full time working and caring for his boy. The only time the bird had was after the boy went to bed. He was 14 weeks when I rescued him - at some financial cost. It isn't a walk in the park it takes some determination. Do you have what it takes?