Hawkhead Suddenly Terrified

[Fistycakes]

I have a 1.5 year old Hawkhead named Ellie. I've had her since she was still all pinfeathers, and she's been great. Recently though, she started to act afraid of me. Flying away all the time, or having a panicked meltdown in her cage. It's a downward spiral right now, because I have to catch her to put her back in the cage, which freaks her out worse, and then she's even more terrified of me when I let her out again. I recently moved, and she stopped for a while, but now she's back to it again. Worse, this behavior only seems to apply to me. She is fine with my roommate (in fact, eager to see him.), and gets along well with all the other pets too. It's breakin my heart. How do I get her back to normal?

 

[mtdoramike]

It's easier to build a bond with your bird if you clip their wings. They will become more reliant on YOU. This is the first thing I would try. At least you will not have to catch her to put her back in the cage.

 

[MonicaMc]

I really wonder if forcing a bird that is terrified out of it's mind to sit with it's owner because they are clipped is the best thing to do.

Is there any way to try and rebuild the relationship from inside the cage? Have you ever looked into clicker training and positive reinforcement?

 

[Fistycakes]

Yeah..I don't know what her deal is. I can take her outside and she's just fine, or I can catch her and hold her till she gives in and cuddles, but the minute I let her go inside, it's panic city all over again. (Yes I have a fully flighted bird that I take outside. No she doesn't fly away.)

 

[Fistycakes]

The biggest problem I have right now as far as rebuilding the relationship goes is that I have no idea how I lost it in the first place.

 

[MeganMango]

I have very little bird experience, but Im going to pass on some information my vet gave me when I took my new parrot to the vet. She really encouraged me to look critically at the dynamics of our relationship and ensure that Dave and I are flock mates and not parents. My vet claimed that birds reach a point in development when they want to "leave the nest" rejecting their parents and finding a mate. She indicated that we want to avoid having one person be the mate, but we also want to avoid a parental role as this could be rejected later in maturity. She suggested I dont allow Mango to eat from our plate or from our spoons, and encourage independence within reason. Is it possible your baby has viewed you as a mommy, and is rejecting you in preference for a mate? Again, Im not an expert in birds at all, in fact Im new! Maybe you should look into how you could modify your behavior and change the dynamics of the relationship? Im not sure how to do this, but it might be something to consider. Birds are SO complicated socially, it could be anything. There have been threads about people who cant wear their hair a certain way, or paint their nails etc without upsetting their bird. Maybe something in your grooming routine is frightening your bird? Keep us posted!

 

[BillsBirds]

Is there anything new or different about you? New glasses? Different hair color, or style? These babies are bundles of OCD, and anything new is reason for fear. Could that be it?

 

[Fistycakes]

Everything in her life is different right now. I'm leaning toward the "separation from daddy" idea. She was starting to do this before I moved, then I moved, so she went back to being the baby for a bit, and now that she's comfortable she's doing it again. And not only that, she's hitting on the owner of the house who I live with.

So what now? Am I stuck trying to get my pubescent, moody, hormonal girl to think I'm cool?

 

[MeganMango]

Everything in her life is different right now. I'm leaning toward the "separation from daddy" idea. She was starting to do this before I moved, then I moved, so she went back to being the baby for a bit, and now that she's comfortable she's doing it again. And not only that, she's hitting on the owner of the house who I live with.

So what now? Am I stuck trying to get my pubescent, moody, hormonal girl to think I'm cool?

Sorry Fistycakes, I didnt realize youre a daddy not a mommy . I would start with a really careful routine for a while. She may just need to feel a little more safe. I know its hard when you just moved, but I would try to keep her in the same room/space so it gets familiar, and manage wake up/bed time, feedings and playtimes all at the same time with the same routine. Also, try to avoid parent behaviors like feeding from your hand, spoon and plate for a little while. You may have to consider a wing clip (maybe just a little) to help her be a little less independent. Some people feel pretty strongly about this, and you may want to try it only as a last resort. Mango came with his wings clipped, and was pretty sad about it. It did help us bond though, and its not forever. He gets more flight every day, but he has really well behaved (most of the time) and I feel a lot safer with him flying around. I think puberty is tough for most birds! Hang in there!

 

[Fistycakes]

First of all, let me thank everyone for your help and advice. I've come to the conclusion that Ellie is going through some old issues, moving pains, and puberty all at once.
Clipping is unnecessary for two reasons. One, in her flailing in the cage, she pretty much clipped herself (also, she got into too many nuts, and packed on a few grams. Nuts have been hidden, and diet adjusted), and two, she's more of a runner anyways.
It seems that (oddly enough) new situations are bringing us closer again, and the familiar is freak out zone. I think it's out of possessiveness and/or control. New places like outside, or the bird store she relies on me for comfort and protection (and a lot of the time she thinks it's the other way around). Familliar places are hers, and she seems to think i'm only picking her up to take her away from her stuff, and she doesn't like it. Especially her new crush, my roommate.
The best thing i've found to bring us back is honestly, not to care. Not to take things personally. I let her do what she wants (to a point) and reward her for being good (I.e. "If I don't freak out, I get a peanut). Cool Dad is making progress.
The final selling point happened today, when I took her to the bird store with my roomate. She was being kind of a braticus, cuz she likes the store, and it's getting to be familliar to her, and roomie was there. Well, there was a young male GWM there that took offense to her presence and wanted to establish green winged dominance. Ellie was holding her own and being relatively timid, but the action was getting too much for my comfort, so I tried to separate them. They were still just kind of yelling and posturing at each other, but the GWM made a move at me. I thought nothing of it, but Ellie took great offense and the GWM hade a facefull of Hawkhead. She took him to the ground and chased after him, biting and clawing, till I caught her at which point she snuggled close to my neck and kept looking around for anyone else who wanted to mess with Daddy.

p.s. she came willingly...actually, she gave me no choice but to give her a good scritchin cuddle fest on the way home. She may not always like me right now, but we're definitely family.

 

[Featheredsamurai]

Yeah..I don't know what her deal is. I can take her outside and she's just fine, or I can catch her and hold her till she gives in and cuddles, but the minute I let her go inside, it's panic city all over again. (Yes I have a fully flighted bird that I take outside. No she doesn't fly away.)

Please know that many many people have said that same thing about taking their fully flighted birds outside and have heartbreaking outcomes. Unless your parrot has completely mastered free flight and recall training you shouldn't take them out unrestrained. Just because your fully flighted birds haven't flown away doesn't mean they won't one day, and it's not that they don't love you they just get scared then become lost, even a small breeze can be too much for a pet bird to take on and they are carried away.

Please get a harness or some sort of restraint for when your take your birds out, don't take your chances.

 

[Fistycakes]

Oh, I'm not just letting her go wherever/whenever. I take her out in the back yard for the most part. We practice recall a lot. When we go anywhere else, she is restrained until it is safe to fly around...if she wants to. If there's traffic, other animals, loud noises, etc., then free flight is a no-go. The backyard (and the neighbors yards just in case) is a safe place for her to run free, supervised at all times of course. What I find odd is that her recall is fine outside, but not so much inside.

Thank you for your concern though, and for anyone else reading this, DO A LOT OF RESEARCH AND TRAINING BEFORE EVEN GOING OUTSIDE.