Hi! I just wanted to throw a bit of a different person on this. What do your parents think and feel about parrots? I have a daughter going into her last year of middle school and she loves birds as much as I do. She wants a bird of her own, and she’s currently saving her allowance and any other money she gets in order to buy it. I fully support her getting her own bird, as she is experienced with them, and I, as her mother, am here to help her. I will be a secondary caregiver for the bird, so if for some reason she ever can’t take him or her with her somewhere, I am happy to continue caring for the bird and have it remain as part of our flock. There is community college and the student can live at home with parents while attending classes. There are also living options other than dorms that could be considered. I’m not saying it would be easy, and there are a ton of things to consider and plan before getting the new member of your family. I just wanted to share that with a supportive parent who also cares for the bird, I believe it is doable. We essentially will co-parent her bird, much like a bird who is cared for by both a husband and a wife.
I agree with the other posts stating that waiting until after school is smarter and easier. But I also understand the desire to have your own baby, and I know that desire may over ride any things of your age/school getting in the way, and you may get the bird anyway. So I wanted to share a way that I believe could make it possible and also keep the bird’s happiness and health at the forefront of your mind. This only works if one of your parents/caregivers happen to also love birds too though.
With all due respect (and you really do deserve it for what you have said, because it is admirable and I wish there were more parents like you!!!) the issue is, your love of birds doesn't account for the bird's taste in people...and losing a bonded member is serious to them, even if it is a kid...although I agree with (and respect ) a lot of what you said..It just doesn't account for the trauma to the bird...Sure, there are birds who are bought as children's pets but end up bonding with the parent over the kid from day 1, and in those cases, the kid leaving doesn't matter as much because the bird never cared for the kid much anyway, BUT, lots of kids DO bond with their parrots, and leaving for college or suddenly not having time for them is harmful for the bird.
NOW, If a parent gets a bird for themselves (as basically a family "pet"-with the understanding that it may only bond closely with one person) that is TOTALLY different than getting the bird as a pet for a child/teen... This implies that the parent will be doing most of the work with the bird (cleaning , feeding etc- and that they are clearly already is in it for the long-haul mentally, financially etc) and making decisions about the bird...Consequently, there is a higher probability that the bird will bond with the parent and/or multiple family members (although obviously this isn't a certainty)...Plus, if the parent selects a bird based on the bird "picking" the parent (or showing interest in multiple family members) that is different than letting the kid pick the bird that is drawn to him/her...you know?
If the bird is treated like a family member, it creates a sense of shared responsibility across the board and it also increases the odds that someone other than the kid will spend lots of time with the bird (and therefore bond with it)....
When you say to a kid, this is YOUR bird, it creates certain expectations (that they will be doing most of the feeding, playing, training, that other family members shouldn't mess with the bird without permission from them etc)....I know this may seem like semantics, but it is a huge difference when parents decide that they want something, vs doing something for their kid with the assumption that the kid will bare most of the responsibility when possible but that they will take over when the kid leaves....
A family pet could STILL end up bonding with a teen/kid strongly, BUT the odds are slightly lower that they would get SUPER attached if people are sharing the responsibility/interaction etc...as opposed to when the kid does it all (including selecting the bird)...
Back to why it is problematic to get a bird FOR a kid....A parrot is as smart as a human 3-4 year-old, but they bond more deeply...add to that, the fact that birds are even more sensitive to change than the average human child...They aren't pets like most people think of pets...
SCENARIO: let's say a parent allows their kid get a large bird as a pet (they go to the bird store and they get the bird that "picks" the kid)...The kid spends a ton of time with the bird (because the parent implies that it is the kid's pet/responsibility as long as they are around) and the kid and bird bond over the years (best-case-scenario anyway)...Then, the kid leaves and the bird is upset, but the parents think they will be able to just take over from there...The bird doesn't like the parents and is upset about the loss of their "mate" so they bite and show all sorts of new/bad behaviors and the bird ends up getting shut away for most of the day because the parents struggle to handle the bird without being bitten repeatedly.....Alternately, during this time, the bird COULD shift loyalties and then the kid comes back and is like, why does MY bird hate me?
A dog or cat could adapt to these changes much more easily (because they don't form mate bonds), but for a parrot, it is going to be
VERY hard, so why subject an animal to punishment when you know that by waiting a few years, you could avoid it altogether by just waiting to get a kid a lifelong pet until that person is ready to care for one independently?
