How can the favored human help?

[Kentuckienne]

Gus started out liking me best, but now he hates me. He lunges and charges and has given me a couple of good bites. I've been following the tricks I learned with the amazon, giving him treats, singing...but it's not working with him. His person can reach down and pick him up with both hands and do just about anything with him. So I will keep trying to make nice, but is there anything the favorite human can do to help? Yesterday I got him to set Gus on my knee, and he lunged at both my hands and I had to put them down at my sides.

We're going to have him retested at his next vet checkup - he sure acts more like a hormonal female than a male, always sitting on top the cage fluffed up like a broody hen, regurgitating, sweeping paper bits around with his beak. Bending over to raise his tail if he gets a back scratch.

I'm starting to get depressed - another life with a bird that hates me or tries to keep me at a distance. I don't see how The Rival manages, the man is part saint. I'm not very sainty myself, and I really wish I could get back to the Gus likes me days.

 

[GaleriaGila]

The Rival has it EASY... he doesn't WANT to be the adored one.

I am so sorry to hear. GEEEEEZ... maybe YOU'RE the saint.

Then again, I *AM* the adored one and I am terrorized and abused all the time.

I wish we could think of some way to fix this. What if you did all the feeding, caring, letting out of cage, treating, EVERYTHING????? And the Mister sorta ignores him? Or does that sound mean?
*sigh*

 

[ZephyrFly]

Although we don't have it as bad, I know what you mean. My boyfriend is occassionally the rival but luckily is mostly neutral. He would like to have a relationship more like mine with Pazu but I;ve told him it's easier for everyone this way, cause for me I might see Pazu at his best but I see his worst behaviour. I get the worst bites, I get the harassing energy bursts he sometimes gets, I am the one that bleeds. Mostly it's fine but on the odd occasion it happens I see the worst.
But luckily when I'm not around Pazu is much the same for him, if anything more calm and less everything.

You can certainly do things to help but a more experienced Mac owner would know better than me.

 

[wrench13]

Aww, I feel for you becasue I know how much you love Gus and have put into him. I can only make random suggestions, i've always been THE human. Make his person scarce when you are looking to interface with Gus? Geri is not Salty's person, but because she is with him all day, and treats and plays ( as much as he will allow) and she does it every day, he is much much better with her then previously. Birdman666 is THE mac expert , I hope he chimes in.

 

[davefv92c]

I hate to ask this but why are so many parronts getting bitten, I have read this so much that if I where thinking about getting a parrot and reading this I may think twice. or to be honest if it happened to me I would not post about I would be reading and researching why.
maybe I'm just lucky but in the last year with multi birds not to mention all I handle at the store and the only time I have seen blood was from Sammy gripping to tight and one of his claws pierced the skin between 2 of my fingers, TBH it was my fault for letting his nails get long. and nothing to do with him. sure I get grabbed ahold of at times for balance and stepping up. but then again I have taught my birds to nibble my fingers when I uncover each one while I'm giving them their good morning chat.
not saying I wont get bit.but I do trust them and believe I have earned their trust

 

[Kentuckienne]

I found a great post, I think it was "excited" by Birdman666 which was a whole bunch of links to threads about macaw behavior. That's where I got the idea that maybe the goo human could help, but the threads didn't say exactly how. I picked up one good trick, to wrap a towel around my arm under my shirt, and just knowing I had an extra layer of padding made me much less anxious about picking him up. Normally I would watch to see if he was willing to be picked up, then put my arm up as confidently as I can. But the last couple times, he tricked me by holding up a foot as if requesting a step up, then just nailed me. I still have a scar from Jan 9th!

Part of the problem is that I am out of town sometimes. I was just away for ten days, and when I hit home I was Public Enemy Numbers One And Two, aka PENOAT. So maybe it's a lost cause. Who knows what he had to go through all that time when his people split up and he fell into neglect. Maybe his humans going away is stressful for him, so if I work my way into his affection, it might be harder on him emotionally. I don't want to make things any harder for him. I want to be able to pick him up and scratch his head and give him treats and maybe teach him some tricks. Maybe that's too much to ask of him right now. I can hope, though.

 

[SailBoat]

One of the deepest heartbreaks is when a rehomed Parrot becomes comfortable enough, healed enough, healthy enough too dare offer them self fully to a human. With great wonderment or sadness the selection is out of our control.

What factors set into place to forge this choice? I have seen it happen a few too many times and have been on both sides when the choice occurred. To this day, which includes the most recent choice at our home, I have not been able to predetermine who will receive the nod. I do believe that there are critical points that can be simply defined as: Who is there the most, at those points, commonly gets the nod. I have even lived though a transition from one Human to an other. And, even with that transition, I cannot define the critical moments, hours, or days!

At this point, the selection has occurred and it comes to: Now What?

There is no question that the favored Human can Help! In fact, the favored Human is the key factor in the success of directing, enforcing and more importantly guiding an acceptance.

Remember: Only good things Happen When Humans are around? This changes a bit, now. The new version is: Good things Happen when the Parrot is nice to the non-favored Human. The favored Human encourages and clearly supports the new rule. So, all the things what were done by both to develop a bond is now continued to support a more balance household. FYI: The Favored Human, must be very careful to assure that it is made clear that this home has an order and that order is: Human One, Human Two, Parrot Three and Parrot Four, with Gus being Parrot Four at this point.

The reality is: The non-favored may never regain the status they had prior to the selection. That said, I have experience a transition, a flip /flop if you will. So, it is possible.

Add to all of this, the transition between Winter and Spring started just about a month ago. Plus, the weather has been swinging madly between Spring and deep Winter. And, all of that combines with the likely occurrence of a healthier 'Gus' and a Rush of Hormones. Equals a 'Parrot,' any Parrot in the upper Mid-West being a bit NUTS! Not an easy time to reset a relationship.

I believe that the only way to get Birdman666 in on this discussion is to PM him!


FYI: Your insight in your above Post is very real and likely part of this. I never give-up on our Amazons and I recommend the same with your Gus!

 

[plumsmum2005]

I found a great post, I think it was "excited" by Birdman666 which was a whole bunch of links to threads about macaw behavior. That's where I got the idea that maybe the goo human could help, but the threads didn't say exactly how. I picked up one good trick, to wrap a towel around my arm under my shirt, and just knowing I had an extra layer of padding made me much less anxious about picking him up. Normally I would watch to see if he was willing to be picked up, then put my arm up as confidently as I can. But the last couple times, he tricked me by holding up a foot as if requesting a step up, then just nailed me. I still have a scar from Jan 9th!

Part of the problem is that I am out of town sometimes. I was just away for ten days, and when I hit home I was Public Enemy Numbers One And Two, aka PENOAT. So maybe it's a lost cause. Who knows what he had to go through all that time when his people split up and he fell into neglect. Maybe his humans going away is stressful for him, so if I work my way into his affection, it might be harder on him emotionally. I don't want to make things any harder for him. I want to be able to pick him up and scratch his head and give him treats and maybe teach him some tricks. Maybe that's too much to ask of him right now. I can hope, though.

It is possible that any headway that is made before these times is sorely undermined afterwards. Bit of a yo-yo effect really.

 

[wrench13]

I did not realize that your out of town sometimes, and for appreciable time, too. Again, from my experiences, and I am coming from being THE human, Salty will be pissed at me for upto a week or so when I am out of town on business ( Asia for 2 weeks usually). It helps if I explain to him on multiple occasions that I will be gone for XXX amount of time, and do that several times. THat generally cuts down on the cold shoulder and even bites that I might get if I don't tell about my absence. Believe me, I know this from actual experience ( and have the scars to prove it). I even tell him when I'm going to the store for a few hours, because Geri ( the 'other' ) tells me that Salty is much quieter when I do. If I fail to explain myself, he will contact call like there is no tomorrow. Hope this helps a bit.

 

[Kentuckienne]

I did not realize that your out of town sometimes, and for appreciable time, too. Again, from my experiences, and I am coming from being THE human, Salty will be pissed at me for upto a week or so when I am out of town on business ( Asia for 2 weeks usually). It helps if I explain to him on multiple occasions that I will be gone for XXX amount of time, and do that several times. THat generally cuts down on the cold shoulder and even bites that I might get if I don't tell about my absence. Believe me, I know this from actual experience ( and have the scars to prove it). I even tell him when I'm going to the store for a few hours, because Geri ( the 'other' ) tells me that Salty is much quieter when I do. If I fail to explain myself, he will contact call like there is no tomorrow. Hope this helps a bit.

I'll try telling Gus when I'm going to be out! Weirder things have worked.

I've been reading all morning and thinking about this problem. Well, it's a problem for me, it's a good working strategy for Gus! And he doesn't even have internet access! Watched several training videos, and that was the most helpful thing. Reading words about how to do something just doesn't do it - I still feel like I don't understand. But watching a bird/human behavior mod interaction and I understand. So enough watching and reading, instead I'll spend some time with Gus figuring this out. I got a clicker, and I will begin working with him to get him to touch it.....even if I don't know where to go next, got to start somewhere.

Poor Gus, who knows what he thinks ... he was spoiled rotten, then went through a divorce and abandonment, then went to a rescue, then went to us. Sheez, divorce made me a basket case, and it took a lot longer than three months to snap out of it. It was my error of perspective. I was looking at Gus as "parrot who hates me and wants to bite me". But that's not it.

I'm looking at Gus, who has a human to love again for the first time in who knows how long (even if it isn't me)..

I'm looking at Gus being so happy to be able to sit on top of the cage instead of being caged inside it.

I'm looking at Gus being so happy that he has some paper to tear up and make a softer nest out of the hard cold cage top.

I'm looking at Gus, who sees a weird human coming over toward his happy cage top, what can I be after? Am I going to eat him, hit him, take away his paper, put him back inside the cage?

I'm looking at Gus, who sees another human who is close to his human, and must be driven off so I don't take his human away.

I'm looking at Gus, who sees me put my arm out for step up, why should he step up, where am I going to take him that's better than where he is on the cage? Am I going to make him sit on my knee or sit on the evil perch and not let him go back to his cage? Am I going to take him away, and he'll never see his cage or his human again?

I'm looking at Gus saying leave me alone, get away from my cage, and as mad as he gets I never go very far, just stand there looking at him, so he bites the bars in frustration.

I can encourage Gus to interact with me in ways that I enjoy. I know that if he becomes more friendly and social, he will get to go out more and have more freedom of the house, and he'll like that. Or will he? He doesn't want freedom of the house now, house is outside the beloved cage. But it will be better for me if I can take him to whatever room I'm working in, or take him on a car trip instead of leaving him home, and if I want those things then it's my job to teach him that these things are fun.

I'm over being depressed, actually I'm still bummed out about the situation because I cling to the cage of my own beliefs about how things should be. I'm belief-bound. Ha, Buddha was right. Being bummed out won't change anything. I'll go back to the baby steps, walking slowly up to the cage and backing up if he's bothered, then work with the clicker and treats. Parrot Man has agreed to let me give him treats - I understand where he's coming from, too ... he doesn't want Gus to flip and prefer me. I don't want that either. Maybe we can just take turns tempting Gus to like both of us.

Thanks for all the encouragement and reminders to look to the parrot for answers. Gus is doing everything he should - based on what he knows and what he's able to do - and I'm the one with the problem. It's not easy to put myself in his shoes, I keep thinking about things from my perspective, but I'll give it my best efforts. Sorry I got all whiney about it.

 

[wrench13]

Your in so much of a better position now, mentally. That Buddha was one smart guy.