More ranting here, because for whatever reason I don't have a diary/journal.

[Sterling1113]

I feel like I need to start a journal/diary about my pets, like some new parents do with their kids. Just to have it on paper, but mostly to get it out of my head, you know?
Anyway. So as you know Yoshi is living at my dad's house. I'm pretty sure they've disregarded/lost/trashed the notes I left for them regarding his diet, social preferences, why he looks scrawny(he's not scrawny, just hasn't molted since he stopped plucking.) etc etc etc.. Because things I mentioned or wrote off as unsafe or "DO NOT" anything have still been happening.
I'm just really lucky he doesn't like to try new things, otherwise he would be full of unhealthy things.(I'm probably being dramatic.)
List of things I've found in his food bowl upon coming in the mornings(when I make his breakfast, so the food bowls should be empty, unless for whatever reason they absolutely felt the need to give him something.)
1.) Saltine Crackers. Salted. Dad learned that sodium = salt, and salt = no.
2) Grapes(okay) still on the stem/vine/branch/whatever. I don't know if it's safe, but he wouldn't touch the grapes because of it.
3.)Random seed/treats/??? I think they gave him some of the seed the Diamond Dove eats. The others were: All Living Things' 'Bits O' Veggie Topping'. it's pretty much dehydrated veggie slivers. Tropical Carnival Training Treats, clover shaped for foot-feeding birds, for large parrots. And Lafeber's Avi-Cakes. Pellets/seeds in cubes. I wouldn't mind the treats, but they *removed* the pellets and left him ONLY the treats. So of course he didn't eat any, and even if he had, it wouldn't be too good for him(in moderation yeah, but not as a meal.). Guess the word "treat" is used interchangeably with "diet staple". Anyone use/have experience with these products? I haven't ever bought them. I'm not trying to sound inconsiderate or unappreciative, I understand they're trying to be nice and buy treats, but I specifically said that I would be buying/preparing food. I can be responsible for my own pet, dad forgets I'm not 14 anymore.. (ramble ramble ramble)
4.) Melon(?) or cantaloupe(?) I can't tell the difference. The seeds and the rinds were in the food bowl though. So that went away as soon as I got here. I'd rather say NO seeds of anything(other than strawberries, blackberries, etc..) including melons/apples/oranges because I know they can be toxic. It was also mentioned/listed personally and in the notes that fruit seeds/pits/rinds are a no-go. He gets seedless grapes. So of course, the melon deterred him from getting to the grapes.

I made him fresh (brown)rice this morning for the next couples days, threw the old rice that was in the fridge away since I decided it probably wasn't good anymore. I wouldn't eat it, so I wouldn't expect Yoshi to. While I was cooking I emptied out his pellet bowl and gave him grapes/strawberries, which he ate happily. He tried the strawberries right away, not sure if he likes them, but he's curious, which is nice. I wasn't sure he would eat rice after munching on fruits for about 30~ minutes while it cooked and cooled, but as soon as it was warm enough I offered it to him and he went to town on it. For the next 20~ minutes he would go back and forth from rice to grapes. He makes his sounds with me, I like to act like he misses me when I'm gone but he's probably just happy to get good food. He acts so hungry when I feed him, like he doesn't eat when I'm not here, even though I know he does. Maybe he doesn't like taking food from people that aren't me or Brad? Since we've been feeding him the food he likes? I don't know. He's only gotten loud once since moving, and it was just earlier, the dog came out from under the desk so he probably was trying to give a warning-call. It was short lived and not as loud as the last one.

Although my panic attacks have been few and far between as of late, I'm still nervous coming over and looking into his food bowl to see what I may find. I don't want to come off as rude by correcting them but I've been rather passive-aggressive by bringing their attention back to the list, and the certain items that are NOT OKAY that I've found in his bowl. I just don't want to spark an argument with anyone, since I know they're doing me a favor letting him live here, but if they're giving him things that are bad for him while I'm gone then my stress levels are gonna shoot right back up.

In the end I'm worried my last option is re-homing. He doesn't deserve the stress/undernourishment of living with someone, and being cared for by someone else. Especially when I can't leave his cage door open all day like I could when he was at my apartment, because they have dogs and don't want to keep them out of the front living room for more than maybe an hour. And plus when I stay at the hospital for 2~ weeks in June I know Brad isn't going to want to make frequent visits to my dad's house, and if he did it would be to feed him/basic care then leave. I know I have to take my own health(be it mental or physical) into consideration, but at the same time I'm very conscious of Yoshi's health in every aspect and I feel like if I got lucky and found a parrot lover who understands his needs and can give him the love and care that I can't(atleast not for a few months.) then he might be happier. As much as it breaks my heart.

I haven't decided anything, it's all just thoughts running around my head. And I figured you guys have all been so wonderful and supportive maybe you'll have some advice, even if it's not what I want to hear. If you read all of this, thanks much, if not, I don't blame you at all. I tend to ramble.
P.S He went back for more stawberries, so that's another to the list of foods he'll eat. Whoop. He also came out of his cage(I'm here by myself, so I gave the dogs rawhides and let them go outside for a while.) and is exploring around the top of his cage, checking out his new surroundings. So obviously he isn't horribly stressed/unhappy. But I don't know how he is when I'm not here, which is the scary part. Merh.

 

[labell]

Just for clarification I have seen where you have said before that you will be in the hospital for 2 weeks, is this for certain? It seems like an awful long time, I know I had my son a long time ago but two days later and we both went home.
Last year my asthma and the flu put me in the hospital for 5 days and I almost died and they fought over whether to intubate me or not, so very serious and it was still only 5 days.

 

[Sterling1113]

Just for clarification I have seen where you have said before that you will be in the hospital for 2 weeks, is this for certain? It seems like an awful long time, I know I had my son a long time ago but two days later and we both went home.
Last year my asthma and the flu put me in the hospital for 5 days and I almost died and they fought over whether to intubate me or not, so very serious and it was still only 5 days.

The doctor I'm seeing is over half an hour away, so they're going to put me in a room two weeks prior to my due date. I could deliver early and go home early, but of course nothing is for certain.

Also though, Yoshi has started exploring beyond his cage..!! He's standing on top of the Dove's cage trying to learn about him hehe.. he acts like he wants to come check me out, but he backs up when I walk over to him so I'll let him come to me if he wants to.

 

[jenphilly]

Well, first... how are YOU feeling? How are things going with the pregnancy?

And my first thought is that maybe some of what you're feeling and such is also related to the pregnancy... you have shared about your anxiety before, pregnancy and hormones definitely won't be helping...

It sounds like Yoshi is being pretty well taken care of... and remember its temporary! Think of birds that go into a shelter or rescue environment, they can survive and do pretty well thru that type of experience. Yoshi can easily make it thru this.

Maybe reduce the 'no' bird food list to those that are really toxic. Many seeds are great for birds, wild birds happily seek out rotted melons, squash and pumpkins to get the seeds easily. I can understand about skins and rinds, but are your parents washing the fruit before they eat it? And if the rinds are not touched or eaten, it may not be worth the fight. Maybe put up a list on the fridge of absolute no foods... salty food (tho I admit our guys love the occasional pretzel bite), avocado, onions, apple seeds, etc. If your parents do not eat cantaloupe or such everyday, then a piece here and there is not as much of a worry.

Out of cage time... are there other family members living at the house? Any chance there is another room where Yoshi can socialize? Any option for a java or playstand? How dangerous are the dogs with Yoshi? Is Yoshi a bird that tends to stay on a playstand or hanging boing type toy?

I think if handling Yoshi and a new baby is a big worry, then maybe finding a home might be a consideration. I do not think there is a right or wrong answer for that, it would be entirely a personal choice for you to make.

I hope you are feeling well overall!!!

 

[Sterling1113]

Well, first... how are YOU feeling? How are things going with the pregnancy?

And my first thought is that maybe some of what you're feeling and such is also related to the pregnancy... you have shared about your anxiety before, pregnancy and hormones definitely won't be helping...

It sounds like Yoshi is being pretty well taken care of... and remember its temporary! Think of birds that go into a shelter or rescue environment, they can survive and do pretty well thru that type of experience. Yoshi can easily make it thru this.

Maybe reduce the 'no' bird food list to those that are really toxic. Many seeds are great for birds, wild birds happily seek out rotted melons, squash and pumpkins to get the seeds easily. I can understand about skins and rinds, but are your parents washing the fruit before they eat it? And if the rinds are not touched or eaten, it may not be worth the fight. Maybe put up a list on the fridge of absolute no foods... salty food (tho I admit our guys love the occasional pretzel bite), avocado, onions, apple seeds, etc. If your parents do not eat cantaloupe or such everyday, then a piece here and there is not as much of a worry.

Out of cage time... are there other family members living at the house? Any chance there is another room where Yoshi can socialize? Any option for a java or playstand? How dangerous are the dogs with Yoshi? Is Yoshi a bird that tends to stay on a playstand or hanging boing type toy?

I think if handling Yoshi and a new baby is a big worry, then maybe finding a home might be a consideration. I do not think there is a right or wrong answer for that, it would be entirely a personal choice for you to make.

I hope you are feeling well overall!!!

I'm feeling well- really. I don't/haven't felt physically sick, just excess amounts of anxiety, and even still lately my anxiety has been pretty low. Phew!
Yoshi(at the moment) doesn't have a playstand, at the apartment he would sit on top of his cage, and never wanted to leave his cage.
However, NOW... I'm watching him crawl around the dove's cage as we speak. He carefully made his way to the floor, and waddled around till he found a plastic shelf he could climb. I think he's just curious, and unsupervised he would wind up getting into some trouble, no doubt.
The older dog- Sasha- she won't even be in the same room as an open cage. I taught her a long time ago that birds aren't for sniffing, licking, even for looking at unless it's from a distance through a cage. So she isn't a worry.
Arya, however, is roughly a year old and harder to teach. She'll stick her nose up to him, and she will leave if I tell her no, but she'll go back as soon as she thinks I've forgotten.

So even if I invested into a java tree stand/made him a stand, I feel like the curiosity would get the better of him and he'd wind up under something, or somewhere he shouldn't be, and if I'm not here to get him I'm worried he'll bite someone out of fear. He doesn't seem to like moving things- hanging perches, anything unstable really. Ekkies can be pretty wobbly, although his balance is getting better as he explores and moves around. He's definitely not afraid of trying new perches though, given they're stable. He even chased a tennis ball around on the floor!!! the first toy he's EVER taken any sort of interest in.. maybe he thinks he's a dog.. He didn't bite it/chew on it, just sort of pushed it around. Silly.

Other people in the house? My dad, his girlfriend, my brother(17, doesn't like birds.) My sister (10, likes birds, but afraid of the beak. knows not to touch him, she's smart.) and just the random friends between the ages of 8 and 20~ that come through and visit. There isn't an extra room really, my old room is used for storing all my mom's old things that they don't know what to do with. So really having him outside of the cage while I'm not here seems to be more of a hazard than anything, So many cords, wires, it would take a TON of bird-proofing before I felt safe letting him roam unsupervised, or even "supervised" by someone who doesn't know what to watch out for.

Now he's gone back to the top of his cage, his "comfort zone." I'm very very proud of him exploring though. That's the first time he's left the cage on his own.

 

[Mishcka]

I wish i lived Closer i would take your bird, till you get out of the hospital. that way you could rest and relax. :31:

 

[JerseyWendy]

I don't want to come across as harsh or anything, but I truly believe it would be in Yoshi's best interest if you found him a LOVING & CARING home - the sooner the better.

 

[Sterling1113]

I don't want to come across as harsh or anything, but I truly believe it would be in Yoshi's best interest if you found him a LOVING & CARING home - the sooner the better.

Don't worry about sounding harsh, I know everyone here has the bird's best interests at heart.
I'm hoping it doesn't come to that- but in my heart I feel like that's the direction it's going. Maybe after I move and after the delivery I can open my home and offer love and care to another bird. Odds are I'm going to see how the rest of this week plays out, see how he's doing, etc. and then talk to Brad about it and see how he feels.
I know he's gonna say "It's up to you" though since I'm the 'bird person' of the house.. ugh. I hate making decisions alone.

 

[jenphilly]

Couple thoughts... your younger sister, tho she has the beak fear, is she responsible and reliable?? Maybe give her $25 a week and make her 'in charge' of the feeding when you're not there. Trusted with Yoshi's well being, would she be proud and in charge of making sure he ate what he should and did not get what he shouldn't? If this is just temporary, then the diet is the biggest concern.

If he likes stable perches, you can add perches to the outside of his cage and make his cage his playstand. We did that with Ivory because she hated her cage, so with the thought to make her cage less punishment, I made it fun inside and out. She has a couple perches outside the cage and a boing on the front (too's don't mind the bouncy or movement). She also has a holder for her food bowl, so she has food outside her cage, but has to go back into her cage for water (wanted her to know she could go in and come back out as she pleases). I don't mean this for all the time, but when someone is there with Yoshi. If the top of Yoshi's cage is flat, you could also make up a cheap playtop with wood so he can roll a ball around the top of the cage so you do not need to get down on the floor... I remember the last couple months of pregnancy, once down on the floor, I wasn't getting back up without a crane!!

But, if you do decide to place Yoshi, I would start with members here on the parrot forums, there is probably someone fairly close and they may be happy to help permanently (or foster like Mishcka offered). I actually had looked earlier myself to see where you were... Male eclectus was actually my 'dream' bird. But I am up in PA, so even further away. But, I would guess there may be someone closer who would be happy to help for a time or forever. And having someone on here, you can at least know you will hear updates and can know what is going on with him!!

Just more rambling thoughts.

I am really happy to hear you are feeling well and have your anxiety under control, so wonderful for both you and the baby!!! And while talking baby, do you know if you are having a boy or girl yet?

 

[Sterling1113]

Honestly, if I were to re-home Yoshi, I wouldn't be on the forums much anymore. Atleast not for a while. Not anything to do with the wonderful friends I've made here, but seeing all the different birds and people having successful bonds with them would only make me miss him more or feel worse for not being able to support my own fid. I'll still have my two conures, they aren't going anywhere. But I mean.. unless I'm answering someone's questions, the only thing I post about is Yoshi(beside my rants, which are based around him..) so I'd probably take a break from bird forums, craigslist, etc and find something else to focus on. Build a playstand, draw, something.

I have another rant post here in Off Topic that goes more in depth about my pregnancy. I'm just over 6 months along(I'm going back on the 26th so I'll have the approx. week count then) and it's a boy.

My sister is definitely NOT capable of taking care of pets on her own..and I don't have a job, so I'd feel bad handing her money that I didn't personally earn(Even though Brad supports us and tells me all the time that we share everything, and he's perfectly happy with it.)
She has the Diamond Dove and a Dwarf Hamster, but my dad's girlfriend does most of the care for those. She has to be reminded to feed her beta fish (Which is in a tank with a filter that has a light in it right beside her bed.. not an easy thing to forget, especially in the morning/before bed.)

Yes- she would be proud- but she would also be egotistical. It's just how she is, she would boast about being the "only one Ashley trusts to feed her super fancy bird." and get an attitude about it. She stays at school till around 6 in the afternoon(She's in an after school program.) And once she gets the attitude, and I know for a fact she wouldn't be able to keep it a secret, my dad would get competitive and either take over the responsibility himself without checking with me, or simply take the weekly pay for himself.

I don't have any issue sitting down/standing up really, besides looking kind of awkward. Honestly my stomach isn't that big for as far along as I am.. I have a generally petite/small frame, so I didn't start showing till around 5~ months. People usually assume I'm 4 months and are shocked when I correct them(Which should be flattering, I guess?) since I haven't had any weight gain anywhere else, except a little on my legs, which is normal.

What am I missing... Ah! His cage. I have a wooden perch on the outside of his cage, but he's never stood on it. He prefers the cage door or the top. It's a dome-top cage, so I'm limited to what I can do to the top of it, but I can add more perches to the sides perhaps.(As long as I clear the surrounding area a bit more, so he doesn't potty/chew on anything he shouldn't be..)

 

[jenphilly]

The one statement or thought in your post I have to disagree with... if you decide to place Yoshi in a new home, do not think for a second its because you could not support your bird... its just the opposite, you loved him so much and so selflessly that you DID what was best for HIM.... you're not being some lazy, irresponsible schmuck who decided it was too much trouble to take care of your bird. There are real and serious issues that exist that may in the end make it a better option for Yoshi to live in a different home. There is nothing wrong with loving him enough to admit that! I have so much more respect for that then if it went the way of him spending 99% of his time locked in his cage because you were too selfish to do what was best for him. And its clear from all your posts that his best interest is what you have at heart. So do not beat yourself up or put yourself down in any way shape or form because between a new baby and anxiety you feel a new home is best for him.

Anxiety is not something you choose to have or deal with, its as valid a medical condition same as me having MS. There are limits you have to live with, same as me. In no way is it your fault or doing. If you decide to place Yoshi, you have support in making that decision... anyone who has anything nasty or mean to say to you, send them my way, I'll be happy to share an opinion or two on your behalf

Okay... that was my turn to rant

 

[Sterling1113]

The one statement or thought in your post I have to disagree with... if you decide to place Yoshi in a new home, do not think for a second its because you could not support your bird... its just the opposite, you loved him so much and so selflessly that you DID what was best for HIM.... you're not being some lazy, irresponsible schmuck who decided it was too much trouble to take care of your bird. There are real and serious issues that exist that may in the end make it a better option for Yoshi to live in a different home. There is nothing wrong with loving him enough to admit that! I have so much more respect for that then if it went the way of him spending 99% of his time locked in his cage because you were too selfish to do what was best for him. And its clear from all your posts that his best interest is what you have at heart. So do not beat yourself up or put yourself down in any way shape or form because between a new baby and anxiety you feel a new home is best for him.

Anxiety is not something you choose to have or deal with, its as valid a medical condition same as me having MS. There are limits you have to live with, same as me. In no way is it your fault or doing. If you decide to place Yoshi, you have support in making that decision... anyone who has anything nasty or mean to say to you, send them my way, I'll be happy to share an opinion or two on your behalf

Okay... that was my turn to rant

Thanks a bunch for that. Really I just think that's what I needed to hear(Or read?)
I know in my mind what's best for him and I've just been hoping that would change before it became an issue. Although he may be better with me than he was with his last owner, that doesn't mean it's the best he can get.
I'll have to do a lot of talking with the boyfriend about it tonight, I feel like he'll mostly be upset that we got him and his cage for such a good deal, and his attitude is so good he'll worry it won't be that way next time. Which are good points, I mean an ekkie for $360 and his huge cage for$200? nuts. But I know that he has an emotional bond with Yoshi too(Though he has a hard time showing it.) so we'll just have to discuss it, so he can see what I mean. Keep in mind he's at work most of the time I'm with Yoshi, so he doesn't see me stress out over his diet, and I get much more excited about positive things than I get upset over the negative ones.

And plus.. who knows? Maybe Yoshi will meet "the one" person he really bonds with, Like Folger and Tori(Unlikely, but possible.)
And maybe me and Brad will find the perfect bird for us in the future, too. You just never know what will happen. Just gonna wait for a little while, play it by ear and see how it goes..

 

[jenphilly]

Ashley, you totally will find the perfect bird that just clicks with you and Brad!! And think about the big picture, maybe in the grand scheme of things, you were meant to help Yoshi find his way to where he was meant to be and that very well may be with the person he just clicks with, just like Folger did with Victoria. I truly believe Folger was always meant to be with Victoria and that unfortunately meant he had to sit in a shelter for 6 years waiting for her. Things happen for a reason and in this situation, that reason may have been simply for you to get Yoshi out of where he was and find the right person for him. His last home was probably happy to just get him out, so your role is to make sure he gets where he was meant to be.



And when the time comes that you are ready for another bird, you guys should find a shelter and visit, there are so many birds that would be options and like Folger, one will let you know they are the right bird for you... and you can find a great deal just like you got with Yoshi... we adopted Folger for $300 and the shelter helped us purchase a cage with their wholesale account and we paid literally about half price for a brand new King's Cage. They even offered to give us a cage if we needed it! Actually they did give us a smaller cage for travel, so how much better a deal could one find!