Need some help with lovebird's behavior

[tetosy]

Greetings.
I'll share some info to understand the situation a bit better.
I bought my lovebird at the end of 2023 (October, I guess) from an awful a breeder, which I didn't know at that moment, who promised that the bird is tamed and friendly.
Unfortunately, the bird was not even close to the description: constant panic-mode and timid. I was and still patient with him, because he indeed made some progress. He doesn't maniacally fly in the cage the moment he sees me approaching the cage anymore, he is less scared of all possible noises that can be heard in the house. He is very curious, in fact, and very polite. He adores my laptop, tablet and phones. He likes to seat on my table lamp just to watch what I'm doing. For some time he even sat on my shoulder just because he could better observe the screen of the laptop. Also, when I'm leaving the room, he starts vocalizing and stops the moment I return back. He just continues to do whatever he was doing before: preening, eating, playing and etc. So, somehow I want to believe, that he partly accepted me eventually.
But he has never allowed me to touch him with hands. Never. He sees my hands as a threat. The moment he sees my hand somewhere around his feet its a pure animal fear and an instant escape attempt with screeching. I never hit him, tried to harm him or anything similar related to wounding or traumatizing him.
I always try to take care of him, buying new toys, allowing to sit almost wherever he wants, I even gave up to him my windowsill and filled it with toys, perches and a made a mini-pool for him to bath. And yet he still is scared of my hands. The biggest progress we've made - touching his beak and he also accepts seeds from my hand. But bare hands - big no.
I don't want to give up on him, because I still believe he can become a good friend. He has never beaten me - if he doesn't like my hand, he gently pecks it or tries to step back, but never biting with force. Not even a physical sign on my hand that he did something to it. Even if he is scared when I'm doing something in the cage, he doesn't bite me or attack, but skittishly observes from the side.
And another problem that recently appeared - he became very, very vocal. These are not basic chirping, loud self-discussions, but just screaming and screeching. At first I thought that he wants me to open the cage so he can go out. But the issue is that even when I let him out, this screaming continues. I figured out that he reacts to other birds outside (crows, magpies and other) and well, of course he doesn't understand that they can't hear him screaming his lungs out. So I started covering his cage with a blanket when he starts screaming - it helps, but the moment I remove it, the cycle begins again.
So after all these explanations, any ideas what to do? I'm thinking about buying a friend for him, but is there a guarantee that the screams won't double? And I won't have two half-wild birds? I can even accept the outcome if they won't like me, but at least I want this screaming to stop, because it becomes unbearable more and more often.
I will be grateful to hear your advice on how to solve my situation.
I thank you in advance for reading this text to the end.

 

[rheashard2]

Your patience is greatly complimented. The work you've done sounds amazing. As for getting him to accept your hands that is hard to determine. Continue with your current regime. Screaming and yelling is another thing. There is no single or best answer. There are numerous posts here about what has been tried. What is his age? When birds, not just parrots, reach puberty loud vocalization aka screaming starts. The degree and amount depends upon species, bird personality among other things. Check out other posts here. I know distraction geared for your parrot personality works. It's best to try to determine cause before a second bird. There's always the chance it'll increase bad behavior.

 

[DonnaBudgie]

Many birds are friendly to their humans like yours is but still hate hands. I have a budgie I hand raised who's very bonded to me but will not perch on my hand or let me touch her bit she interacts with me a lot in other ways. She sits on my head and shoulders freely. I'm okay with that. I adore her and she's a happy bird. I don't need to touch her to enjoy immensely. Most birds are not touchyfeely and a lovebird that lets you pet him is an exception to the rule despite what all those TikTok and YouTube videos imply. Your lovebird may never tolerate hands.
Regarding the screaming- lovebirds are pretty well known for having very harsh loud voices- one of the reasons I would never get a lovebird. Two lovebirds can be twice the noise. I'd wear earplugs or noise blocking earbuds at home and need peace and quiet. It's a better solution for both you and your bird than covering him with a blanket or otherwise trying to get him to stop. If ypu get a second lovebird they may bond to each other strongly and exclude you, or they may not get along at all and have to be housed separately. It's hard to predict.

 

[wrench13]

So first off, there are tons of generalizations about each species of parrot - Greys are talkers, conures are nippy, macaws like to bluff and so on. But you must realize, really realize, that every parrot is its own bird so to speak. Individual parrots can exhibit some, all, or none of the commonly accepted traits of that species. Your lovie seems to fall in with some of the commonly accepted traits of lovebirds. Nervous, not fond of touching and fear of hands.
Having said that, yours sounds like he is very attached to you and is giving you most of what he has in the tank for 1 on 1 relationships. Be thankful! Some lovebirds never get even close to their owners! I;d continue to work with him, as some improvement may be possible, but accept that this might the limit. Accepted methods for curtailing screaming involve rewarding the bird when he is quiet, ignoring the screaming. Closely observe him and the surroundings to see if there is a trigger involved, like suggested above. At his age, at least 1-1/2 years, its doubtful that puberty is involved, but again, no hard and fast rules with parrots. However he may be going through an exceptionally strong mating season, which does happen occasionally, and that can make birds loud, and off tilt personallity-wise.

And no second bird! Unless you want one for yourself. Getting buddies for problem parrots only occasionally fixes anything.

As far as the screaming, covering him to stop it is not really doing him or you any benefit. What would the result be if he continues the habit? Permanent covering? And eventually he could figure things out and start screaming from inside the covered cage !

 

[nkrbkr]

Hi there! I have a male lovebird that is 3 years old. I got him as a baby, and he was hand-tamed/fed. Even so, he was only tame to his breeder’s hands, and was still a bit fearful of mine. I think he was probably able to move past his fear a little easier, but he did not fully trust my hands initially. It sounds like you’ve made a lot of progress. I would try holding a chunk of millet in one hand, & your other hand in between him & the millet to try to start training a step up. Have the millet far enough away that he has to reach for it, & hopefully touch you to balance. Even if he puts one foot on your finger, that’s progress! Your hands should only be associated with positive things, so it needs to be his idea, & use favorite treats!

At puberty, my bird was completely nuts. Flying around trying to find nesting spots, screaming constantly, & very little interest in interacting with us. His first hormonal season was at around 8 or 9 months, & then again at a little under 2 years old (the following spring). He was completely bonkers both years. This year, he was really pretty calm in comparison.

Even though we’re past hormone season in our house, my lovie still screams from time to time. It’s just what they do. I would also not recommend covering your bird to stop the screaming. I try to ignore it the best I can, and reward him/give him attention once he’s calmed down.

 

[tetosy]

Your patience is greatly complimented. The work you've done sounds amazing. As for getting him to accept your hands that is hard to determine. Continue with your current regime. Screaming and yelling is another thing. There is no single or best answer. There are numerous posts here about what has been tried. What is his age? When birds, not just parrots, reach puberty loud vocalization aka screaming starts. The degree and amount depends upon species, bird personality among other things. Check out other posts here. I know distraction geared for your parrot personality works. It's best to try to determine cause before a second bird. There's always the chance it'll increase bad behavior.

Greetings! Grateful for your answer and sharing your thoughts. I'll definitely check other threads with the same topic, thank you. About his age: I can assume, that he is around two and a half years old. But it's only an assumption, because the breeder said, that he is very young. When I was researching this topic - lovebird's age - I found out that they have darker color of the beak on top, which fades when they grow older.
I also read some info about puberty, but most articles state that 1. lovebirds may start hitting puberty around 10 month age 2. it can last for about a couple of months. My thoughts were, that maybe he 'skipped' it last year and decided to catch up this summer. Comparing to what I've found, I'm inclined to think that he just wants to talk with other birds. I noticed, that in the morning he is eager to get to the windowsill as fast as possible and that is the main period of his screeching. In the evening he still can 'perform', yet he is more interested in everything else in the house.

 

[tetosy]

Many birds are friendly to their humans like yours is but still hate hands. I have a budgie I hand raised who's very bonded to me but will not perch on my hand or let me touch her bit she interacts with me a lot in other ways. She sits on my head and shoulders freely. I'm okay with that. I adore her and she's a happy bird. I don't need to touch her to enjoy immensely. Most birds are not touchyfeely and a lovebird that lets you pet him is an exception to the rule despite what all those TikTok and YouTube videos imply. Your lovebird may never tolerate hands.
Regarding the screaming- lovebirds are pretty well known for having very harsh loud voices- one of the reasons I would never get a lovebird. Two lovebirds can be twice the noise. I'd wear earplugs or noise blocking earbuds at home and need peace and quiet. It's a better solution for both you and your bird than covering him with a blanket or otherwise trying to get him to stop. If ypu get a second lovebird they may bond to each other strongly and exclude you, or they may not get along at all and have to be housed separately. It's hard to predict.

Greetings! Sincerely grateful for your answer, because I didn't know that it's even possible for a bird to be bonded, not just accepted as a neighbor, with a human and still hating hands. Changes a lot for my perception of this situation, because indeed he can come to me willingly and sit on me still hating hands. I've had thoughts that it might be trauma from the breeder, but appears they can just hate hands.
Regarding screaming: before choosing lovebird, I also looked for the sounds they make and none of the videos included anything like that. They said about them being loud and that sometimes in can be annoying, but they no one prepared me for this. Maybe I'm special and he decided to grace me with 'lovebird's secret sound'. If yes, I'm for sure flattered
Even with his behavior, I'm still considering to buy a new one, but first a really have to find out if it's a bad behavior or a necessity for a new friend. I can handle this screaming if this makes him feel better and possibly mentally healthier.
Thanks again for answering and sharing your experience!

 

[tetosy]

So first off, there are tons of generalizations about each species of parrot - Greys are talkers, conures are nippy, macaws like to bluff and so on. But you must realize, really realize, that every parrot is its own bird so to speak. Individual parrots can exhibit some, all, or none of the commonly accepted traits of that species. Your lovie seems to fall in with some of the commonly accepted traits of lovebirds. Nervous, not fond of touching and fear of hands.
Having said that, yours sounds like he is very attached to you and is giving you most of what he has in the tank for 1 on 1 relationships. Be thankful! Some lovebirds never get even close to their owners! I;d continue to work with him, as some improvement may be possible, but accept that this might the limit. Accepted methods for curtailing screaming involve rewarding the bird when he is quiet, ignoring the screaming. Closely observe him and the surroundings to see if there is a trigger involved, like suggested above. At his age, at least 1-1/2 years, its doubtful that puberty is involved, but again, no hard and fast rules with parrots. However he may be going through an exceptionally strong mating season, which does happen occasionally, and that can make birds loud, and off tilt personallity-wise.

And no second bird! Unless you want one for yourself. Getting buddies for problem parrots only occasionally fixes anything.

As far as the screaming, covering him to stop it is not really doing him or you any benefit. What would the result be if he continues the habit? Permanent covering? And eventually he could figure things out and start screaming from inside the covered cage !

Greetings! Immensely thankful for your advice and so much information I surely I didn't know before. Means a lot for me!
I can agree with you, that indeed each parrot has its own unique personality, even thought it doesn't always correlate with general info that is stated in the internet. I discovered it with my own parrot almost immediately he appeared at my house. And I'm happy that he is not a copycat from any other lovebird I've in the internet. I'm happy, that even if he is timid or afraid of my hands, he is still curious and tries to learn new things. I'm infinitely thankful that he decided to give it a try and trust me at least a bit. Comparing to what he was like, he has already made progress which I didn't even count on, but still silently hoped for.
I'm 100% going to continue to work on our relationships and looking for new ways to improve his trust in me.
Regarding training methods and rewards: I tried it and still practice it, but it works time to time, so I can't be sure if he reacts the way it's meant. For example, when he is chirping, clicking or making any types of noises that can be interpreted as a request to pay attention to him, I come and try to talk to him. I also can try with mimicking his own chirping with intonation or trying to make similar sounds and in my opinion he doesn't mind and even becomes interested. During this 'communication session' I can offer some food to him. But when he starts screeching or screaming, I can turn my back/head or even leave the room. Sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't. Time to time I have an idea that he screams just to let everything out, like to speak out maybe. To let everyone know that he exists and we have to be grateful for it.
I noticed that his screaming attacks occur mostly in the morning when all other wild birds outside start to talk to each other and he becomes extremely agitated. It doesn't happen in the evening, as far as I've noticed.
About buying a second bird: I'll consider your words after reading your explanations, thank you!
About blanket: It's not the main method I use. I have to come to it after negotiating with him for some time. First I negotiate, then it may be a blanket and then I leave the room trying to show him that I'm not into it. It can also be a negotiation and leaving option, but I don't cover him for hours or even the whole day. I understand the possible consequences of this blanket-thing, so I try my best to not abuse it (if I may say so?).
Much appreciate your time, help and hints you gave me about managing things with my bird!

 

[tetosy]

Hi there! I have a male lovebird that is 3 years old. I got him as a baby, and he was hand-tamed/fed. Even so, he was only tame to his breeder’s hands, and was still a bit fearful of mine. I think he was probably able to move past his fear a little easier, but he did not fully trust my hands initially. It sounds like you’ve made a lot of progress. I would try holding a chunk of millet in one hand, & your other hand in between him & the millet to try to start training a step up. Have the millet far enough away that he has to reach for it, & hopefully touch you to balance. Even if he puts one foot on your finger, that’s progress! Your hands should only be associated with positive things, so it needs to be his idea, & use favorite treats!

At puberty, my bird was completely nuts. Flying around trying to find nesting spots, screaming constantly, & very little interest in interacting with us. His first hormonal season was at around 8 or 9 months, & then again at a little under 2 years old (the following spring). He was completely bonkers both years. This year, he was really pretty calm in comparison.

Even though we’re past hormone season in our house, my lovie still screams from time to time. It’s just what they do. I would also not recommend covering your bird to stop the screaming. I try to ignore it the best I can, and reward him/give him attention once he’s calmed down.

Greetings! Thank you for telling me some new details about growing/upbringing (?) process by breeders. I thought if they are initially grown being fine with hands, it will be okay with any human. Frankly, I'm even a bit shocked with this new fact. A relief that I'm not the main problem and he is not scared because I did something wrong in the very beginning.
I actually tried this idea with food and different treats in my hand, but the funny thing is that he understands that I'm trying to trick him stepping on my hand/finger, so the moment he can't reach food/treat from his perch he is sitting on, he starts gently pecking me or touching with his beak like implying 'can you move the food closer?'. When I move it a bit closer with my fingers, he continues to eat and when I don't, he just looks at me and goes away. When I move my whole hand with food he really can come closer again, when I'm moving food on the hand - not even a try to get it.
Reading your description of hitting puberty - guess, I haven't experienced it. He is very vocal almost all the time, but he doesn't go on rampage becoming a small menacing Godzilla. He is not aggressive, doesn't try to destroy anything and still likes to pay me attention time to time. So, I guess I can exclude puberty from the list of possible reasons of his screeching-screaming? Overall I don't mind his vocalizing habits, as I got used to it. But the screeching is the only exception because it's like you drag something sharp across a blackboard. Hard to enjoy this one.
Yes, I usually start with ignoring him when he starts screaming, so eventually I can use the blanket as the last resort.
Grateful for your comment and sharing your own experience to compare!

 

[nkrbkr]

Greetings! Thank you for telling me some new details about growing/upbringing (?) process by breeders. I thought if they are initially grown being fine with hands, it will be okay with any human. Frankly, I'm even a bit shocked with this new fact. A relief that I'm not the main problem and he is not scared because I did something wrong in the very beginning.
I actually tried this idea with food and different treats in my hand, but the funny thing is that he understands that I'm trying to trick him stepping on my hand/finger, so the moment he can't reach food/treat from his perch he is sitting on, he starts gently pecking me or touching with his beak like implying 'can you move the food closer?'. When I move it a bit closer with my fingers, he continues to eat and when I don't, he just looks at me and goes away. When I move my whole hand with food he really can come closer again, when I'm moving food on the hand - not even a try to get it.
Reading your description of hitting puberty - guess, I haven't experienced it. He is very vocal almost all the time, but he doesn't go on rampage becoming a small menacing Godzilla. He is not aggressive, doesn't try to destroy anything and still likes to pay me attention time to time. So, I guess I can exclude puberty from the list of possible reasons of his screeching-screaming? Overall I don't mind his vocalizing habits, as I got used to it. But the screeching is the only exception because it's like you drag something sharp across a blackboard. Hard to enjoy this one.
Yes, I usually start with ignoring him when he starts screaming, so eventually I can use the blanket as the last resort.
Grateful for your comment and sharing your own experience to compare!

You’re very welcome. It’s still possible the screaming could be related to hormones. Each bird has its own personality, so just because my bird can be a menace, it doesn’t necessarily mean that yours is going to be. Birds also tend to vocalize in the mornings & evenings, so it could just be part of his daily routine.

What is your bird’s daily diet like? He might not be motivated enough for the treats to want to touch your hand, if he’s getting treat foods in his daily diet. If he only gets treats directly from you, it can start to make a positive association with your hands.

 

[tetosy]

You’re very welcome. It’s still possible the screaming could be related to hormones. Each bird has its own personality, so just because my bird can be a menace, it doesn’t necessarily mean that yours is going to be. Birds also tend to vocalize in the mornings & evenings, so it could just be part of his daily routine.

What is your bird’s daily diet like? He might not be motivated enough for the treats to want to touch your hand, if he’s getting treat foods in his daily diet. If he only gets treats directly from you, it can start to make a positive association with your hands.

Time will show what it is: him being nasty or indeed hormones. Both are okay, as these situations come with the parrot when you get it.
About diet: unfortunately, I haven't managed to go as far with healthy diet as necessary, so for now - variety of seeds. I tried and still trying to give him some fresh vegetables and fruit, but he ignores them most of the time. Recently he is in the mood for peaches. I would like to use them as treats, but that's the only healthy thing he started to accept and I don't want to ruin it. Also tried millets before and he ignored it :'<

 

[nkrbkr]

Time will show what it is: him being nasty or indeed hormones. Both are okay, as these situations come with the parrot when you get it.
About diet: unfortunately, I haven't managed to go as far with healthy diet as necessary, so for now - variety of seeds. I tried and still trying to give him some fresh vegetables and fruit, but he ignores them most of the time. Recently he is in the mood for peaches. I would like to use them as treats, but that's the only healthy thing he started to accept and I don't want to ruin it. Also tried millets before and he ignored it :'<

If you’re interested/able to convert him to a healthy diet, I mentioned in the following thread how I converted my Amazon’s diet. This same process would apply to most other parrots (except those that have nectar diets, etc). My birds don’t receive seeds in their daily diet, so they are very motivated by them when I offer them as treats.

Post in thread 'Adopted a Galah- seeking advice'

Jul 20, 2025

For chop: I’d recommend a mix of veggies/greens that have been chopped very fine in a food processor, with whatever cooked grains, cooked legumes, etc. that you’d like mixed in. With my Amazon, I tried hand feeding her some cooled steamed sweet potato to see if she liked it. She did, so I started by mixing some chop into sweet potato, & slowly decreased the sweet potato/increased the chop until she was only eating chop. Since your bird is on a seed diet, you could try mixing seeds into some chop. Gradually reduce the seeds & increase the chop. The reason you want the chop to be so finely...

• nkrbkr

• 

 

[tetosy]

If you’re interested/able to convert him to a healthy diet, I mentioned in the following thread how I converted my Amazon’s diet. This same process would apply to most other parrots (except those that have nectar diets, etc). My birds don’t receive seeds in their daily diet, so they are very motivated by them when I offer them as treats.

Post in thread 'Adopted a Galah- seeking advice'

Jul 20, 2025

For chop: I’d recommend a mix of veggies/greens that have been chopped very fine in a food processor, with whatever cooked grains, cooked legumes, etc. that you’d like mixed in. With my Amazon, I tried hand feeding her some cooled steamed sweet potato to see if she liked it. She did, so I started by mixing some chop into sweet potato, & slowly decreased the sweet potato/increased the chop until she was only eating chop. Since your bird is on a seed diet, you could try mixing seeds into some chop. Gradually reduce the seeds & increase the chop. The reason you want the chop to be so finely...

• nkrbkr

• 

You're awesome, thank you! I am definitely going to check this tread. Is there maybe a list somewhere with recommended/non-recommended fruit and vegetables? I know that avocado is toxic for lovebirds, but are there any other forbidden things? As for grains, I would like to try buckwheat and lentils. Hope he will at least try it. Thank you again for your time and advice!

 

[nkrbkr]

You're awesome, thank you! I am definitely going to check this tread. Is there maybe a list somewhere with recommended/non-recommended fruit and vegetables? I know that avocado is toxic for lovebirds, but are there any other forbidden things? As for grains, I would like to try buckwheat and lentils. Hope he will at least try it. Thank you again for your time and advice!

There’s some good information here as far as foods go, & some recipes as well.

Parrot Food, Recipes and Diet

All discussions related to parrot food, recipes and diet.

www.parrotforums.com