Note for the Pets


Super Moderator
Super Moderator
Sep 7, 2006
I received this from a friend and thought it was very funny, thought you'd enjoy it too.

Dear dog and cat. when I say please move, it means to go someplace else, not to switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in my way.

Dear parrot, may I please be excused for a moment. I promise, I will be right back to attend to your every need.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.
All other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note that
placing your paw print in the middle of MY plate and food does not
stake a claim making it YOUR plate and food. My dear parrot, we understand the best of our food is fair game to you. I will eat what is left.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a race track.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't
help in your quest to reach the bottom first, because I fall faster
than you can run. My dear feathered companion, you don't need to poop on me as you fly over my head just to prove you won the race.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very
sorry about this. Do not think that I will continue sleeping on the
couch to ensure your comfort.

Dogs and cats actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is
not necessary to sleep perpendicular to one another, stretched out
to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight
out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize
space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the
bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door
shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, scream or use foul language to intimidate me.

Also, I have been using the bathroom by myself for quite some
time canine, feline, parrot, attendance is not mandatory.

To pacify you, my dear companions, I have posted the following
notice on our front door:

Rules for non pet owners who visit must understand our fur & feathered family come first at our house.

1. The pets live here. It's not just your house because you have a paper saying it is.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why it's call "fur"niture.) If they throw seed and food on the the dog will do his share of cleaning up their edible mess.

3. To you, our pets are just animals. To us, they are an
adopted son/daughter who happens to be hairy, walks on all fours or have feathers, speak our language and only bites us if they think they have a legitimate reason.

4. Why dogs and cats and birds are better than kids because:
they don't ask for money all the time
they are easier to train
they usually come when called,
they don't hang out with drug-using friends
they don't need a gazillion dollars for a college education
if they get pregnant, you can sell the children.

Pass this on to other pet-lovers in your life!


New member
Jan 25, 2006
Pionus, YNA, WB caiques, quakers, goffin, lovebirds, GC conure, parakeet,
Oh, that's a good one!!!!:35: :35: :35: :emoticonc

I so enjoyed that.. you don't know how true some of that rings for me! I spend numerous nights on the couch, but not because the dogs are in my King-size bed, but because one is older and cannot go upstairs without being carried. When he's upstairs, he's nervous, pacing, and wants downstairs. During the night, he wants company as his eyes and ears are failing him. His world seems to be dimming, but sometimes he has all the energy in the world, and wrestles with the younger dog like a pro. Still, I must copy and print some of that clip. It was well worth the late-night peek for me!


Super Moderator
Super Moderator
Sep 7, 2006
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MKay I too have an old dog like that, failing eyesight, failing ears, failing legs, and is scared of large spaces, But then all of a sudden she will go all out with the younger dog, She can still make the stairs, but it takes her a long time now,

So yes that meant a lot to me also. hehehehe especially the bathroom part.:D

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