Parrot family problems.

[Joshuwaaa]

Hey,

I'm having a minor problem with caring for parrots, I wondered if anyone can help.

My partners family really don't like birds, like they get very heated and concerned about us keeping a parrot. They believe they will make us ill, give us respiratory problems and eventually kill us, this is no exaggeration. We had a conversation where we said we would like to bring in a small parakeet because I miss my fids horribly and I adore birds. I think I prefer them to some people haha, and they were really upset at the idea and look at jack quite stern to steer him away from them. Problem is, I love birds. I love my parrots, their like my little family, my kids..

We own our own place, pay our own way, depend on nobody but we are still worried and nervous about bringing a bird back to the house. We are 24 & 21 years old.

Any advice on how we can soothe the situation with his family? What can we do? Say? They still believe these captive birds carry disease and are vermin. An we always get so nervous having a bird in the house. Any advice?

(Sucks for them really because Holly, Loki and Cricket are my birds haha and WILL come back with us when we move home)

 

[BirdyMomma]

Hi. I'm a little confused.

Do you have your own place, or do you live with your partners parents?

 

[mtdoramike]

You two are adults I assume at 21 & 24. So, being adults, tell your parents to mind their own business, but in a nice way.

 

[Joshuwaaa]

Don't live with any parents, both adults, have our own jobs, study our own degrees, pay our own way.

His parents are just always concerned it's not healthy, and then we end up attempting to hide it, it's hard to tell them you want a bird because they get so upset about it.

In the end we end up just putting up with the moaning, but they always tell us to get rid. It sucks. Just thought maybe there was some way to introduce them to birds. There are always concerned about them being like pigeons, carrying disease.

 

[strudel]

2 possibilities. They meet somebody "special" and change their minds. Otherwise, they don't. It's like anything really, it MAY make you sick, but it's not likely. They've probably watched some doctor drama on tv and somebody got psittacosis or something. They are always trotting that one out on tv, like all the rare diseases.

It really doesn't matter if they like them or not, they shouldn't harp on about it. It's your decision.

Are there any wildlife parks around there, that have those special birds who talk to everybody and are real charmers? Maybe take them there?

They might actually be afraid of them, there's nothing you can do about that.

 

[MomtoPercy]

I can understand the need to keep the family happy but if they're not sharing a living space with you and aren't 'taking care of you', quite frankly, they don't have much of a say. Don't give up your desire to care for a fid to accommodate anyone who won't have to live with it.
I hope your partner's family comes around. How does he feel about it all?

 

[Kalidasa]

Sounds like its their problem, not yours. It's your home, your rules. They should understand its all in their head, and if not, so be it. It's still your house, your life, your business. If you go thru life trying to please everyone and cater to their fears and insecurities you'll never get a chance to breathe. It sounds more like an issue of control. Never let anyone control you, even if they think they have the best intentions.

 

[MamaFuzz]

Your partner's parents sound just like my mom. It is definitely a control issue. As long as their opinions are not causing problems between you and your partner I would ignore them. I wouldn't even mention birds to them. If they start you can ask them to please stop as you understand their position but you have to make the choice for you. In the end people will always treat you how you let them.

 

[Joshuwaaa]

My partner sticks up for my birds so much! I love it. He's so positive about it. I think it could be something controlling I don't know. I'm glad I'm not the only one, but I agree pleasing others isn't worth the effort.

Just need to be strong and push past the initial crap and hope they leave us to it. Aaaaa haha

 

[Leah00]

Yeah...I've been there. I'm an animal nut and I'm involved in some dog rescues. My husband's family are not big fans of pets. They are ok with one small dog but anything different than that is a big no no.
When we first got married I had a dog that I brought from my family's home. My husband decided he wanted a dog too. My in laws told him that if he wanted a dog then he needed to tell me to get rid of my old dog because "no one needs two dogs in the house". Whatever.
We ended up with 3 dogs, 2 cats, 3 rabbits, a hamster, and some fish. My in laws quieted down a lot but we still heard about it occasionally. I always just shrugged it off. We were adults living in our own house so there wasn't anything they could do but gripe.
I would say ours was a control thing. It was hard for them to not be able to tell him no.

Unfortunately sometimes it doesn't completely stop...

When we got pregnant they told us that we really needed to get rid of our cats...nope.

Just a few days ago my husband said he had a pretty good argument with his dad because he found out that we got a bird. His dad was saying that our bird could rip our fingers completely off (we have a quaker so...no) and to just wait until "that bird starts biting your kids".

My husband and I are 30 years old and have been married and living on our own for over 10 years.

 

[getwozzy]

Like everyone else has said- if they're not living with you or taking care of you or whatever- they don't really have a vote for what you do in your life and your home. Sure, they may voice their opinions, but when it comes down to it it's between you and your partner.

You can expend a great deal of energy trying to convince them that parrots are not dirty and disgusting vermin, but in the end you'll probably be just as frustrated- people like that are very hard to convince them that they're "wrong".

I wouldn't let their control issues run your life -do what makes YOU happy, not them.

 

[MikeyTN]

It's not their place to judge and direct. There are people that feel that way and it can take you a long time to change their mind. My family at one point said the exact same thing about how dirty and nasty plus disease carrying birds are. But when they encounter one of my babies they changed their mind about birds, matter of fact they loved Cracker very deeply. So they say nothing to me now days. But you guys are mature enough to make your own decisions as it does not concern his family.

 

[goalerjones]

1) don't hide.
2) show them research
3) change the subject when the birds come up

 

[faeryphoebe1]

I have a very controlling mother who doesn't live with me. She tries to control everything ranging from what I eat to what pets I have and how I treat them. Whenever she begins to tell me how to live my life, I do this simple trick that really works. I just let her nagging go into one of my ears and out the other while changing the subject.

She will never change her opinions and I'm too stubborn to revolve my life around her views, even if I do love her.

You sound like a very kind and considerate person. Even so, you are not likely to change their minds and I think that if you try, you will only make them more resistant.

Live your life as you see fit and make peace with that.:64:

 

[BoomBoom]

If you don't live with them, I don't see why they're so concerned? You are free to make your own decisions and don't worry about what other people think.

 

[strudel]

I don't see why they're so concerned?

Because them there varmint birds be DEADLY!

 

[Featheredsamurai]

lol, explain to them that although wild birds may carry disease, your parrot is vet checked and well cared for. Also explain to them the difference between a powder down parrot a oil gland parrot. It's very unlikely that a macaw would give you respiratory infections. Only a bad owner who lets the poop pile up would be at risk, a person who doesn't deserve the name parront. You do not fit that at all!

ask your avian vet if they know of any articles about parrot health that may put your family at ease.

 

[KeroRocks]

Where are the birds you own now?

 

[Birdman666]

1. It's not a rodent, it's a bird.

2. It's not a pigeon, it's a parrot.

3. There is such a thing as birdkeeper's lung disease, but it generally has more to do with poor ventilation and lack of cleaning.

4. AND THIS IS THE BIG ONE: YOU ARE AN ADULT, AND YOU PAY YOUR OWN WAY. IF THEY DON'T WANT A PARROT, AND THINK IT'S A FILTHY CRITTER, DON'T GET ONE. BUT YOU AND YOUR PARTNER ARE OLD ENOUGH TO MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS, SO THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN, BUT MY DECISION IS MADE, AND THIS DISCUSSION HAS ENDED...

There is no polite way to do this. This is one of those Draw the Line and stand by it issues.

 

[sillysally]

My family all thinks I'm weird for having birds-I just let them deal with it. I learned long ago that if you have your own place and pay your own way, sometimes you just gotta let haters hate.