We're making progress, I think. It's slow in the respect that a turtle carrying a 500lbs anvil moves faster, but progress is progress.
This week has been kinda crazy. Between kids, work and the renovations on my master bathroom, there are moments when I don't know if I'm coming or going. Compound that with the fact that my best friend, who's kind of a halfwit in an entertaining sort of way has been excessively intrusive this week.
There are a couple of key elements that my friends have come to expect from me over the years. The main one being, that at least one room in my house looks like Afghanistan v. 2.0. This month it's my master bathroom, in which 90% of it is currently at the city dump. Ok. I confess, it's been the last 4 months. I do most of my renovations myself unless it involves major plumbing or structural changes. This room incorporates both. I admit my motivation to get it done hasn't exactly been high. In fact, it's been kind of non-existent. My life revolves around 2 things; need and desire. Since I have 2 other bathrooms in the house, I don't NEED to get this one finished. And there's no desire to rip out any more sheetrock. Im fried. I did go in there the other day with the intention of working on it. I sat there for 6 minutes and identified everything that needs to be done and the order in which it should happen. The whole process wore me out and I decided to take a break just as my friend walks in to inhale the last bit of my coffee.
Now you have to understand what this character is like to get the entertainment value out of the situation. He's a landscape contractor. Normally you would think a manly man would carry that role in life, but not Chris. When I met him, he was sporting a fine pair of Prada sunglasses. We were driving down the freeway one day and I decided to toss them out the window and made him go buy a pair of raybans. I just couldn't hang out with a guy that even knows what Prada is, let alone sport something made by them. He also has a strange attachment to my 2lb Yorkie. Disturbingly so. We're talking to the extent that I'll come home and discover he's stopped by, abducted her and took her to his house for a sleepover. Yeah... I know... I've thought that too.
None the less, he's in complete denial about life and reality. When I die, I want to come back as Chris. His world is far cooler than my world. He has himself convinced that he has a way with every animal that walks the planet. He doesn't speak parrot.
Blue doesn't particularly like him. While she won't attack him, she's not even going to consider stepping up for him. Z doesn't even like his own reflection in the mirror, so logic dictates, unless you're into cuddling with a crocodile, don't even think about it. However, despite repeated warnings, my oblivious friend just didn't get it.
He walks over to Blue and tries to get her to step up. Obviously she backs away as if to say "Don't freaking touch me, dude!" and looks at me like I should do something to remedy the situation. To which, I obliged and politely suggested he leave her alone. Rejected he decides to have a go at Lucifer here. Um.. that wasn't exactly the most intelligent idea.
Z was sitting in his cage quietly chanting his normal demonic chant. My friend Chris was intrigued by this idea and walks over to check him out. Now the one thing I've come to understand is that zonzilla here doesn't appreciate folks gawking at him through the cage. I think he's self conscious or something, but in any event, he normally gets pretty testy. Especially if there's no personal gain in it for him.
He gets quiet. I knew that wasn't a good sign. Z seems happier when he's summoning the spirits for guidance, to which, he does quiet frequently. So the silence is a good indication that something bad is about to go down.
Chris starts talking to him and immediately gets the "what the hell do you want?" look. I'm just watching intently out of the corner of my eye. Z is already in stance. Feathers ruffled, eyes pinned and body slightly lowered. I try to save him. "Chris. That bird is going to bite you." He doesn't listen. Z starts reaching his talon through the cage bars.
Now normally, to an unsuspecting individual, I can see where this might be an indication of peace or a friendly 'come pet me' gesture. However, when you take into consideration my experiences so far with this zon, in conjunction with the obvious body language he was displaying, I knew immediately it was a trap.
Chris goes for the latch on the cage.
Now before I could utter a word, Z looks down at his hand and says "Uhh... no." Just like that. Simple, clear and precise. You couldn't have asked for a better warning. In fact, I'm kind of impressed. Z was talking to him in Amazon speak and when that didn't work, resorted to human speak to let him know this was not going to turn out the way Chris wanted.
He reaches in the cage.
Seconds, I tell you... seconds. It was just that quick that Z nailed him, drawing out enough blood that it looked like he'd removed Chris's entire circulatory system through his pinky toe. Chris staggers slowly back into the kitchen, blood running down his arm and dripping off his elbow and his ego in a puddle in front of Z's cage. He had the most astounding look of confusion on his face as if he had no idea what just happened or why.
I try to be a supportive friend. This is an area that I admit, I do not excel at. Sympathy as a result of stupidity doesn't come easy for me. "He bit me!" he said. I examine his arm. He still got to keep all of his flesh, albeit it's a little perforated now. There were 3 very distinctive bite marks in his forearm. 2 of which were sure enough punctured. "That wasn't a bite. You don't need stitches, so that was a warning." I hand him a paper towel and say "You really miss your Prada sunglasses don't you? This being a man thing isn't really working out for you. You might want to stick with Yorkies for now."
Ironically, Z has been so much happier since he copped himself a pound of flesh. He's been a lot more talkative an receptive. I can give him treats through the cage bars now and we shared dinner together last night. With a little bit of time, patience and maybe some shock therapy, I think Z here will make a great companion. I just need to conjure up a victim on a week as a sacrifice.
[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mH6efYSN9us"]Break through - YouTube[/ame]