....very sad

[Ginkai]

Ok. so I love Suki lots and its become apparent that she has bonded to me quite a lot. Today I had a longer shift than usual at work and when I returned home my husband and sister promptly informed me that Suki had basically screamed her head off the entire time I was gone. She had all her favourite toys in her cage, food water and my husband who she usually loves with her the entire time. But she kept screaming cause I wasn't home.

This is a problem. If it continues to long I have no doubt I will be forced to rehome her which I REALLY don't want to do!

Please help me what can I do to help her deal with my absence?

 

[Mayden]

This is one of those things were it's a lot easier to avoid than it is to fix.

What do you mean by 'longer than usual'? and did she scream the entire time (and does she do that every time you leave?) or just the time that you were supposed to be home?

Is she used to spending ALL her time with you?

If we know a little more then we might be able to suggest more

 

[Mudkips]

Also ask your husband and sister what they did.
It's possible they gave her attention every time she started screaming, reinforcing behavior etc etc...

 

[Spiritbird]

I suggest you try to get her used to other people in the family or have a bird sitter drop in to entertain her in your absence. You do this by having that person feed and play with them. Record you voice and play back while you are working. Can you take her to work?

 

[Ginkai]

She was ignored while screaming, I made sure to tell my them about that. I wish I could bring her to work. Her cage is in the lounge room so yeah when I'm home she's with me a lot. And she apparently screamed the entire time which is unusual.

My husband told me that instead of playing with her toys like usual she just screamed. I'm really hoping this is a one off thing but better to put something in place to prevent it.

 

[Molcan2]

How old is she? What is your breeding season in Australia? I only ask because I am Rome's mate and toward the end of our breeding season she starts screaming all the time (our season is from Nov. thru the end of March). How long have you had her?

Did she start the screaming after the time that you would have already been home? Toos like routine, she may have come to expect you to come home at a certain time. If Rome isn't brought in by 6-7pm she will scream until shes brought inside (this is because her normal routine is to come in by 4-5pm). You may want to try to vary the times that you come home so that you can have a larger window to come home in without problems.

I wouldn't give her any attention for it and maybe invest in ear plugs until she realizes that screaming gets her no where.

 

[Ginkai]

She's only 6months old so shouldn't be mating. I've only had her a month and a half. I think It's more the fact that i work so randomly at the moment (very bad job with NO hours) so I had previously had the last 4days off before today. Maybe its just that I was suddenly gone. But how can i get her used to the idea that i have to leave and she has to find other things to do. Not I like I don't provide her with enough of her favourite toys which i know she loves. And before i left this morning she had 5 hrs out with me for exercise and play. I thought i did everything right. Did I?

 

[RescueMe]

I think that something may have scared her and she didn't have any other way of communicating that. Did anything new come into the house yesterday? or anyone new? My U2 would scream nonstop if something came in that scared her, she would only stop if it was removed. This may be another reason for the screaming other than bonding. Most parrots do not scream non stop without good reason and a sense of alarm.

 

[Molcan2]

Yeah shes to young for the mating game. Shes so young that shes still trying to figure stuff out. There is no right or wrong answer. Different routines work for different birds. With Toos they seem to thrive off of routine. Until you have a solid routine set with her (in place for a few months) I wouldn't break it. From the very beginning you need to set a routine that you want her to follow, that both of you can live with everyday. If you've had the last four days off and have spent all day everyday with her then she is going to expect that all the time - everyday. She is naturally going to throw temper tantrums and scream because she has come to expect that routine. Any time a Toos routine is broken, and not in their favor, expect screaming. In her eyes the last 4 days you have set a new routine - and she likes it. When you go to work shes like 'hey what about my day.'

It would be harder with the bird living in the house 24/7 to do what I do with Rome. Even on my days off Rome follows her daily routine. Every now and then we break routine but very rarely and never more than one day in a row. For instance, she gets up at 8am and she is put outside until 4-5pm then she comes inside and spends time with me until 8-8:30p when she goes to bed. If people want to come over and visit or if I take her to the park its done after 4pm so that it doesn't conflict with her routine (we also garden together after 4p). After 4pm is people time. From 8am-4pm is Rome time, that is when she does her foraging toys and her independent play.

You have to set up a consistent daily routine and stick to that routine for a few solid months before breaking it in anyway. It needs to be a set routine so that she knows what to expect of her day. This needs to be the routine that she is expected to accept and follow the majority of her days. If she spends all day with your for 3 days and then doesn't see you for a day shes going to get confused and frustrated because she isn't going to understand why she cant have you all the time (when that is what she has come to expect for the last 3 days). Toos don't need more time spent with them they need structured time spent with them (IMPO). If you spent 5 hours with her this am, she is going to want that same time block tomorrow (whatever time you can do daily and roughly around the same time is what you need to do). Encourage independent play while you are gone (which sounds like you have already been doing, foraging toys etc.).

 

[Ginkai]

That was a very useful post molcan2. It does sound like that was her problem. So i guess your advise would be to take her cage out of the lounge room to somewhere where I can control how much she sees me even on my days off. I'll be starting a new job soon yay! Which will finish same time everyday so a routine will be easier to follow then.
I'll put her outside and let her get used to being alone during the day even when I'm home.

Thankyou so much. It's times like these I wish I had room for an outdoor aviary, she would love that.

 

[Molcan2]

Just becareful that she doesnt feel isolated from the family. If she knows your home shes going to throw a fit to be with you. Thats why i dont know how that works with having the bird inside all day. Even without an aviary, maybe try a really large 2nd cage outside (i really think they benifit from outside time). Get the biggest cage you can find, something meant for a green wing, and fill with all kinds of stuff for her to do. I wouldnt expect results overnight, it may take her a few weeks to adjust to a new routine, your advantage is that shes so young.

 

[Ginkai]

Thanks molcan. Had a good day today went out to work and when i returned my husband told me that she only screamed twice after I left then onto her usual routine in fact was better than usual. So its possible yesterday was a freak occurrence or she finally figured out that screaming gets her nothing.

Either way I'm happy. She even let me leave the room without screaming once I got home. which she usually does. She's still as active happy and playful as usual so I'm sure she's not sick, hopefully she just realized that I'm not going to leave her forever I will come home so she doesn't need to worry yay!

She will still get some routine but I'll be very happy if this is the case.

 

[MikeyTN]

Like it was being mentioned already, by giving her too much attention, she's craving it constantly and when your not around, she screams for you. She needs alone time! When she screams, walk away from her letting her know she gets no where by screaming. When we first brought Java home, he screams ALL the time none stop! When he hears me home he screams, when he sees me outside he screams, his cage is near by a window where he can see out. I ignored him when he screams, now he doesn't scream much but has his moments, but not as bad. People always think my house is very noisy, but it's not. It's actually pretty quiet most of the time. Most of them rather sing and talk instead of scream. You just need to train them properly to do so.

 

[Ginkai]

I've never once acknowledged her screams, if I'm next to her when she does it I'll walk out of the room, when I'm out of the room and she screams I won't return until she's been quiet for a few seconds or says hello. I'll move her into a different room where I don't spend all my time to get her used to time alone. Thanks everyone for your comments.

 

[Pedro]

Ginkai, not that you have already been given good pointers but have you considered contacting Jim McKendry in Brisbane for some help. You can even contact him by email.

World Parrot Trust - Parrot Events

Check out the above link. Wish i had more time on my hands to attend.

 

[Ginkai]

Thanks Pedro. I'll look into that. My local avian vet offers parrot preschool (more for the owners of course) I'll enroll myself in that. The teacher is a well known bird trainer and behaviorist.

 

[antoinette]

I agree try set up a routine, great advise from Molcan 2.

Routine is so important, your bird will know what to expect from day to day, and what is expect from him as well.

Below I have given you Mishka's daily routine, how is was and how it has changed since I began working out from home.

Mishka my AG will be 5 years old in November 2012. I got him when he was 6 weeks old. He was with my 24/7 for the first 4 years of his life. We were together each and every day. (I worked from home)
I made a few CD's using my voice, and played them for Mishka during the day, saying them along with him. At night I spent 1 hour with him sitting on my lap, playing and training him.

Unfortunately due to the economy and the recession, I was forced to go out and work.

I was so worried Mishka would be upset with me for abandoning him. I had nightmares, would he reject me, was I going to have behavioral problems with him.

Our daily routine whilst I was still working from home, was very easy going. Never the same, constantly changing due to orders I received etc. He went with me to customers, was in the office when I worked. At night I sat with him for an hour, training, playing and chatting to him. (I was very strict there, that was my quality time with him)

A typical day in Mishka's life now that I am out working.

We wake up at 4.30am each morning. I realize it is so early, it is hard getting up that early (especially now that winter is coming in), but so worth the quality time I spend with Mishka, before going out to work. I feed Mishka his formula, then off we go to shower. I then blow dry him, and he goes straight into his cage. I finish my chores around the apartment at about 5.15am. I sit in the lounge with Mishka, talking away and playing with him, until 6.45am. That hour and a half, just the two of us, is so magical.

I have about 30 Cd's I have made for Mishka, words he is saying, words and sentences he is busy learning. Some a whistling tunes, other songs, you name it Mishka has it.

I am very fortunate my son Steven, is home most of the week. Steven goes to University, thank goodness only twice a week, lectures are only two hours. He routinely goes to gym each morning. When Steven is goes out, he leaves a Cd playing for Mishka.... the Cd's have got over a hundred different things on each of them, so Mishka does not get bored.
When Steven is home, and busy studying in his bedroom, he leaves the radio on for Mishka. Mishka has had the odd session where he is loud (talking extremely loud), but Steven says it lasts for about two minutes.

When returning home, I feed Mishka, clean his cage, then he gets yoghurt as a treat He then plays on his playpen for about 45 minutes. At 7pm each and every night, he sits on my lap, I train him (to talk), we play and just chill.

Mishka is even more loving towards me now, when coming home each day, he says to me mommy I missed you today, of course I missed you today, I love my mommy.

I reckon what helped Mishka and myself settle down so quickly was a strict routine. We got used to it and still stick to it religiously.

Over weekends HE GETS SO SPOILT LoL, the days belong to him BUT, I still feed him the same time, clean his cage, he has his yoghurt, plays on this playpen, then sits on my lap for 2 hours (weekends only)

Just reading through my post NOW, I realize I am actually spending MORE quality time with Mishka now, than when I was working from home.

 

[Ginkai]

I totally love all you guys and don't hate me for this but really I am very bad at routine, never have been. I've never done the same thing at the same time ever. But until now I've only had dogs and rats and they don't care when stuff happens. But Suki does. So I'm going to have to figure out a way to stick to stuff for her. Fingers crossed that with my new job it'll be easier to stick to routine.

 

[Molcan2]

You'll work it out. You will eventually find something that you both handle well. It takes time to really figure out what works for both of you. Eventually you'll find a niche that you both fit into and are happy with.

 

[lene1949]

I don't have much routine at my place either, as I work shiftwork full time.

We recently changed for 8 hour shifts to 12 hour shifts... It took a couple of months for the birds and Ben (the dog) to get used to it, but now there are no problems...

Max has always been very independent and he's not a parrot who likes to cuddle.. I move his cage from office to loungeroom and back, so he's always close to me, when I'm at home... When I'm working during the day, he still goes into the loungeroom, and when I'm working at night, he goes into the office...