What bird to get?

[Talven]

So I have been asked by a friend what bird should they get. I can't think of any bird that fits their needs and wants.

They want a bird that is
1). A velcro bird that loves to snuggle and hang out with them for hours while they are at computer/watching TV
2.) Not too noisy as their child is noise sensitive. Quakers are much too loud for them. Can just tolerate our GCC
3.) Not too bitey like a conure as they want their 4 yr old to be able to handle it
4.) Willing to interact with everyone
5.) Not too messy say like a Lorie

As far as I can work it out their most suitable bird is a cat so I would appreciate many and varied opinions.

Maybe there is a suitable bird that fills all the requirements that I haven't considered. I thought 'tiel but they aren't too snuggly. Lovies are snuggly and not too noisy but tend to bond to one and can be biters.

Before I tell them to not get a bird until their child is older I thought I'd see if any of the more exp'd folks here had suggestions.

 

[Noahs_Birds]

Hard to go past a cockatiel, top little birds

 

[noodles123]

So I have been asked by a friend what bird should they get. I can't think of any bird that fits their needs and wants.

They want a bird that is
1). A velcro bird that loves to snuggle and hang out with them for hours while they are at computer/watching TV
2.) Not too noisy as their child is noise sensitive. Quakers are much too loud for them. Can just tolerate our GCC
3.) Not too bitey like a conure as they want their 4 yr old to be able to handle it
4.) Willing to interact with everyone
5.) Not too messy say like a Lorie

As far as I can work it out their most suitable bird is a cat so I would appreciate many and varied opinions.

Maybe there is a suitable bird that fills all the requirements that I haven't considered. I thought 'tiel but they aren't too snuggly. Lovies are snugly and not too noisy but tend to bond to one and can be biters. One MIGHT luck out, but in all likelihood, the luck would be short-lived..I've never EVER met a bird who meets all of these standards, and even if I had, you couldn't know upfront that it would.

Before I tell them to not get a bird until their child is older I thought I'd see if any of the more exp'd folks here had suggestions.

Um...they don't want a bird...is basically what they are saying. This doesn't exist in any world definitively and there is no way of knowing upfront....plus, a touchy-feely "Velcro bird" is usually a sexual bird (which leads to more problems at sexual maturity, like mess, screaming and self-destruction, along with health problems). It's like saying, "I want a toddler who doesn't cry, never makes a mess, loves me all the time, is a genius and can walk on water."


Interact with everyone, not messy and quiet= major red flags in terms of their requirements lists....I'd say that you should discourage this ASAP because their expectations are insane. They will very likely end up contributing further to the re-homing issues parrots face if they proceed. Plus a bird that doesn't bite when they do not even understand the most basic/inherent needs of birds means that they will not understand and WILL get bitten (due to these very expectations).


PLEASE do your best to discourage them...HONEST TO GOD. I know people can research and learn, but anyone who wants a sentient being with this list of requirements will be a poor fit...especially a parrot (who's very nature is everything they DO NOT want....)


Even a cockatiel will be messy and loud. "LOUD" for someone like this is not loud for a parrot person. No birds for this friend..period..


This actually really upsets me a lot (not because of the OP, but because of the friend's INSANE expectations and negation of parrot nature)....on so many levels.. I think I want a dog that is silent, eats only vegetables, can teleport, is purple and also has healing powers.. Can someone find me that?

 

[Talven]

Hard to go past a cockatiel, top little birds

Agree 100% but they aren't the most "cuddly" birds.

I guess the way I put things makes it seem unreasonable for a parrot to fit into. They were only vague requirements to begin with

Not too noisy as in volume rather than the amount of times they make noise. They have been around my birds and it has been fine except when the quaker chorus goes off. That's quite loud and too loud for the young one. Not bothered by the GCC throwing a tantrum level of sound or general parrot noise.

Not too bitey as in will bite if you do the wrong thing not won't ever bite you. Not too bitey as opposed to our GCC that will chase your hand to bite you. Not likely to draw blood or sever a finger. Suitable for interacting with younger kids.

Not too messy as in it won't squirt poop everywhere like some birds do, such as lorikeets, or fling food everywhere like my Kakariki do. A normal amount of mess is expected.

Realistically fitting within the requirements there should be something close. Cockatiels hit almost all of the requirements except for being cuddly and even then it's hit and miss. Some are cuddly but I feel that they are a more independent bird in general.

At the moment she wants a 'too and I am desperately trying to find something more appropriate.

 

[chris-md]

They seek affection and attention, so What more does cuddly mean to you? How do you expect “cuddly” to manifest? These are wild animals, not dogs. If you want something to pet constantly, that’s the exact wrong thing to do to a bird, no matter how much they allow it.

I’d agree, you’ve set up nearly impossible barriers on the outset. Either a cockatiel, budgie, or parrotlet is about as close as you’re going to get. I’ll vehemently disagree with the assertion that this unicorn doesn’t exist at all when Many well raised birds are quiet family birds, mine included. But that comes down to a combination of nature and nurture, and you can’t predict what you’ll get as the bird becomes an adult.

 

[Talven]

Cuddly as in wants head scratches, will snuggle into hand, snuggles into neck or sit on shoulder. Wants to spend more time with and on you rather than on play area/cage. NOT a bird that gets stroked and petted like a cat/dog. I am aware of the issues with hormonal problems due to inappropriate interaction and it is something that I have discussed with them.

Again my failure to adequately describe what was meant.

 

[Skarila]

As Noodles mentioned earlier, they do not want a bird, they want a cat or a dog.

By what you explained a GCC or another smaller pyrrhura species (like a painted or white eared) could be an "ideal" choice, but let me tell you, even these buggers can punch a loud shouting session if they feel like it. And they will also nip and bite if they feel like it. I have one, and he ain't even cuddly at all.

Every bird shouts, every bird will bite. It is not a matter of IF, but WHEN. Birds which will snuggle or accept headscratches might not want it all the time, things are usualy on their terms. Parrots are not really suitable for smaller children, especially if the adults don't even know anything about parrots. Even cuddly birds will nip or bite, my partner's senegal parrot who is such a snuggly sweetheart WILL bite if she doesn't want to be touched at that given moment. And her bites are super painful.

For smaller children a handraised tame cockatiel might be ok because they usually don't really bite immediately, just "beak" your hand away, letting you know they do not want to be touched.

I second that the family shouldn't get a bird, even the sweetest birds will have their bad days and just be so nervewrecking. And things can get really bad. Parrots can easily live up to 25-30 years (Cockatiels, GCCs), and some bigger species much much more.

If they really want a parrot, I suggest getting a plushie. They don't poop, nor are messy. Or loud.

 

[Parrotboy1272]

you should get an eagle.... just kidding i agree with everyone else, they should get a toy or cat or dog

 

[SailBoat]

I'm continual amazed that just because someone says they want a Parrot, does not mean that we are somehow obligated to provide the magically parrot that does not exist, but something that comes kind of close.

Far too many Parrots die at the hands of well meaning individuals just because they wanted a magical creature that there is no assurance exists. There is a reason that Rescue's continue to receive Parrots that a no longer wanted.

 

[noodles123]

Hard to go past a cockatiel, top little birds

Agree 100% but they aren't the most "cuddly" birds.

I guess the way I put things makes it seem unreasonable for a parrot to fit into. They were only vague requirements to begin with

Not too noisy as in volume rather than the amount of times they make noise. They have been around my birds and it has been fine except when the quaker chorus goes off. That's quite loud and too loud for the young one. Not bothered by the GCC throwing a tantrum level of sound or general parrot noise.

Not too bitey as in will bite if you do the wrong thing not won't ever bite you. Not too bitey as opposed to our GCC that will chase your hand to bite you. Not likely to draw blood or sever a finger. Suitable for interacting with younger kids.

Not too messy as in it won't squirt poop everywhere like some birds do, such as lorikeets, or fling food everywhere like my Kakariki do. A normal amount of mess is expected.

Realistically fitting within the requirements there should be something close. Cockatiels hit almost all of the requirements except for being cuddly and even then it's hit and miss. Some are cuddly but I feel that they are a more independent bird in general.

At the moment she wants a 'too and I am desperately trying to find something more appropriate.

A parrot should not go to a home with so many unnatural/unlikely boxes to be checked...especially given the fact that these people sound like first-time owners and a child is involved. You say a tiel "almost" fits, but these people clearly are out of touch with reality if they say they want that and then are considering a cockatoo...LET ALONE any bird-- their behavior and environment will also play a huge role but they are seriously not in a good position. The fact that they can just BARELY tolerate your GCC and have a toddler....Why would you want to put yourself in the position of recommending a bird to these people when you know that it's a very debatable situation in terms of their stringent requirements and tenuous lifestyle/situation? Your particular GCC may be quieter than some cockatiels and your GCC is DEFINITELY quieter than any cockatoo...But if noise matters at all, that is serious, as it is a very common cause for re-homing.
Not all tiels are as "quiet" as assumed in the posts above. Especially when you are trying to get a human toddler to nap..... I understand why you are trying to persuade them against a too (for sure) but they aren't even in the position to have a parrot if those things you mention matter to them...let alone the most re-homed, loudest species out there..I would not suggest that anyone with a toddler of any sort get their first parrot during that period of time...There is just too much going on if you haven't had experience with parrots.

She shouldn't get a too or a tiel....What would she do if her bird didn't like everyone in the house, or got jealous, or started screaming for attention during nap time??? If she gets a too, she may as well just burn that list and burn a few thousand dollars on the bird she will not keep.. That part about the "too" is extremely frustrating, uneducated, irresponsible, unrealistic and an absolute DISASTER waiting to happen. Time for some tough talk from you to her-- she needs a reality check----not a compromise....Neither bird sounds like a fit but her saying she wants a "too" just shows how uneducated she is when it comes to parrots..When non-bird people say that are okay with some mess, I do not think most know HOW messy a parrot can be. Sure, a kakariki flings food etc, but so do many other parrots.....she has a kid who will be eating stuff off the ground, making noise, throwing fits of its own etc....this is the least suitable time for her to get her first bird..Why on earth can't she wait? I also fear that her child could be on the spectrum (based on the noise comment/phrasing), and if that is the case, she REALLY needs to wait until he is older, as noise sensitivity etc often increases with age...a lot can change...2 is generally when initial signs start to show, but they do not stop there. I'm not saying a child with autsim can't have a parrot, but MANY parents of children with autism find that life gets more challenging in elementary school etc....So if that is a possibility, it would be prudent to wait before piling more onto their plate.

Re-homing stats are real, and those have been bolstered by many "parrot people"..let alone this woman with a "noise sensitive" child..Is she aware that a too could take off her kid's prodding fingers? Is she aware that a cockatoo is the POLAR OPPOSITE of everything on her "wanted" list that matters for real? Not to mention that they are experts at getting people to spoil them and super quiet/sweet for the first few years (long enough for people to make all sorts of mistakes and then panic at sexual maturity).

Again, there is no guarantee that any variety of bird will meet all of these requirements and their very nature is the exact opposite of most things they are looking for....But here's the thing....Her saying she wants a "too" is like me making me saying, "I want to live in a hot place, with no snow, where I can wear and tank top and stroll on the beach and this is all SUPER important to me....therefore, I have decided to go to Siberia." Suggesting that I go to Alaska instead does not change the fact that my description is out of alignment with reality....Alaska is still too cold....

The fact that a toddler is involved and they have all of these ideas and no real experience is very likely to end in a bad situation for the bird. People LOVE the idea of parrots because they see the final product of YEARS of training and hard work/mess (without all of the challenges that it took to get there)..Even if you are a parrot expert/trainer, living with the most well-behaved bird is way more work than most people assume based on casual interaction at a friend's house etc.


If I had never had a fish and decided I wanted a pet great-white shark that could climb trees, was sweet, didn't need much water, was non-carnivorous and swim, would it be ethical to tell me that a dolphin "almost" would be perfect because they can swim and are nicer than sharks....?

Another thing--- if anyone has allergies--- powder down birds can be dangerous.

 

[Flboy]

I guess the way I put things makes it seem unreasonable for a parrot to fit into. They were only vague requirements to begin with

Not too noisy as in volume rather than the amount of times they make noise. They have been around my birds and it has been fine except when the quaker chorus goes off. That's quite loud and too loud for the young one. Not bothered by the GCC throwing a tantrum level of sound or general parrot noise.

Not too bitey as in will bite if you do the wrong thing not won't ever bite you. Not too bitey as opposed to our GCC that will chase your hand to bite you. Not likely to draw blood or sever a finger. Suitable for interacting with younger kids.

Not too messy as in it won't squirt poop everywhere like some birds do, such as lorikeets, or fling food everywhere like my Kakariki do. A normal amount of mess is expected.

Realistically fitting within the requirements there should be something close. Cockatiels hit almost all of the requirements except for being cuddly and even then it's hit and miss. Some are cuddly but I feel that they are a more independent bird in general.

At the moment she wants a 'too and I am desperately trying to find something more appropriate.

Actually, your list of wants is dead on accurate for a person that has never had a parrot! Only those of us who are willing to then modify our lives to become a flock, keep the bird!
Actually, a cat isn’t a bad idea, and I am NOT a cat person! I would recommend a Seal point Siamese!
If they do go parrot, you may want to be involved in the selection! Since you will soon have it living with you!!

 

[smwboxer]

Get a kitten and call it a day.

 

[chris-md]

Talven, you're getting a bit knocked around a bit rough here. Understand it's just because we care - you've been around for a minute and a half, you know how passionate we are about making sure birds are properly placed in the proper homes, and that they are properly cared for. That means adjusting people expectations (which requires sometimes a harsher approach when you are trying to knock someone out of a fantasy world they are reluctant to let go of).

Sit on your desire for a while and see how it evolves. You may find that a bird ISN"T for you right now. Or you may realize that you adjust to the bird, not the other way around.

The bird chooses the parront, Harry.

 

[Inger]

Talven, you're getting a bit knocked around a bit rough here. Understand it's just because we care - you've been around for a minute and a half, you know how passionate we are about making sure birds are properly placed in the proper homes, and that they are properly cared for. That means adjusting people expectations (which requires sometimes a harsher approach when you are trying to knock someone out of a fantasy world they are reluctant to let go of).

Sit on your desire for a while and see how it evolves. You may find that a bird ISN"T for you right now. Or you may realize that you adjust to the bird, not the other way around.

The bird chooses the parront, Harry.

He’s not the one who wants the bird-it’s a friend. But you’re right, a bird may not be right for the friend either.


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[Inger]

They seek affection and attention, so What more does cuddly mean to you? How do you expect “cuddly” to manifest? These are wild animals, not dogs. If you want something to pet constantly, that’s the exact wrong thing to do to a bird, no matter how much they allow it.

I’d agree, you’ve set up nearly impossible barriers on the outset. Either a cockatiel, budgie, or parrotlet is about as close as you’re going to get. I’ll vehemently disagree with the assertion that this unicorn doesn’t exist at all when Many well raised birds are quiet family birds, mine included. But that comes down to a combination of nature and nurture, and you can’t predict what you’ll get as the bird becomes an adult.

All good advice EXCEPT parrotlets are bitey AF. 100% would not recommend with kids. Or most adults. Only truly crazy people should have the little monsters.


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[chris-md]

They seek affection and attention, so What more does cuddly mean to you? How do you expect “cuddly” to manifest? These are wild animals, not dogs. If you want something to pet constantly, that’s the exact wrong thing to do to a bird, no matter how much they allow it.

I’d agree, you’ve set up nearly impossible barriers on the outset. Either a cockatiel, budgie, or parrotlet is about as close as you’re going to get. I’ll vehemently disagree with the assertion that this unicorn doesn’t exist at all when Many well raised birds are quiet family birds, mine included. But that comes down to a combination of nature and nurture, and you can’t predict what you’ll get as the bird becomes an adult.

All good advice EXCEPT parrotlets are bitey AF. 100% would not recommend with kids. Or most adults. Only truly crazy people should have the little monsters.


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I know. None of them are good recommendations, that’s the whole point

 

[noodles123]

They seek affection and attention, so What more does cuddly mean to you? How do you expect “cuddly” to manifest? These are wild animals, not dogs. If you want something to pet constantly, that’s the exact wrong thing to do to a bird, no matter how much they allow it.

I’d agree, you’ve set up nearly impossible barriers on the outset. Either a cockatiel, budgie, or parrotlet is about as close as you’re going to get. I’ll vehemently disagree with the assertion that this unicorn doesn’t exist at all when Many well raised birds are quiet family birds, mine included. But that comes down to a combination of nature and nurture, and you can’t predict what you’ll get as the bird becomes an adult.

As you stated, the problem is, there is no way to tell a baby unicorn from a horse and a potential unicorn can become a wild boar in the wrong hands. If you try to raise a unicorn but lack the knowledge to do so, you will end up with a disappointing horse, or worse yet, a wild boar **especially when your environment is not conducive to raising unicorns, or when you expect a unicorn to act like something is is not**....Then, there is the innate personality of the "horse" itself (which will vary even among horses of the same species). Many of the things this woman doesn't want are instinctual for "horses" I agree it's part nature and part nurture, but the nurture part will definitely be bumpy in this situation and the nature part is a wild-card (with a HIGH, inborn-drive towards all of the things this person is afraid of)...She is only seeing rainbows because she has never experienced the "unicorn's" horn.


Bottom line: Even with perfect nurturing and a genetically favorable dice-roll, a bird is still going to be messy, change a ton at puberty, and be loud compared to 99% of other pets...That is a perfect scenario in which nurture is on-point and one in which nature's dice roll presents a special type of personality predisposition at adulthood (but even when the stars align perfectly, it takes an unwavering commitment...While a well-trained bird may not scream like one who hasn't been worked with behaviorally, that takes a level of knowledge, self control and an environment that ANTICIPATES screaming etc and handles it appropriately-- rather than assuming you will just find a quiet bird)...A first bird is hard for anyone and the learning curb is steep/intense...Not to mention that fact that she is talking about taking this on when her kid is at an extremely vulnerable and defiant age (with sensory issues)...It's just not an ethical gamble for the child or the potential "horse/boar/unicorn".

"If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid" <-- only in this case, it's the owner's expectations that will lead them to become frustrated with a bird who simply is doing what birds are inclined to do.

 

[Talven]

Gee I'm glad that this forum is not made up of overly judgmental people otherwise it would be a tirade of near abuse.

I'm not a complete novice with keeping birds. I do understand what it is like to keep them. My friend has been around my birds as well as others. The child in question has handled our GCC and Quaker (under supervision of course).

So I'll try to explain what I am asking in simple and explicit terms so there is no misunderstanding.

A bird not as loud as a full volume quaker. A full volume GCC or less is acceptable
A bird that does not projectile poop like a lorikeet or fling food everywhere just to get to the seed of choice at the bottom like my Kakariki.
A bird that will not bite off a finger or remove chunks of flesh when annoyed. Preferably not likely to draw blood.

A bird that will be happy to socialize with the whole family rather than only one person. Unlikely as this depends on how well socialized a young bird is to begin with.

A bird that wants to be interacted with and is likely to want to get head scratches and spend more time with you than not. Things that will trigger a hormonal response have been covered.

She is determined to get a bird no matter what I say so I am desperately trying to find a bird that is as close as possible to what she wants to avoid it being rehomed or euthanized. I have been trying to talk her out of getting one for months but she keeps circling back to it. Telling them to get a cat or not to get a bird won't help. If I can't make some sort of reasonable suggestion she will end up with a 'too. I DO NOT want to end with a 'too when she realizes how much work they are.

A cockatiel would be great but they tend to be too independent and aren't that bothered about being with you.

A budgie is too flighty and has been specifically refused.

Parottlets are quite expensive and very hard to find where we are so would probably be declined as too hard to find.

Please any other suggestions would be of help

 

[Betrisher]

Mate, you're asking the impossible! There is no such bird.

Every bird can and will be loud at times, even a budgie. Every bird will bite at times and even draw blood (especially a budgie). Every bird poops and many are not real great about going tidily in one place. The degree to which a bird is willing to be 'cuddly' depends entirely on the commitment of its owner to train it and make it feel safe. If this owner is willing to let a four-year-old child handle a bird, then that's a bad sign right there!

The bird you describe only exists after years of bonding and training. You don't buy them like that: you have to work at it, day in, day out, for as long as it takes. And sometimes, you just don't ever get there because some birds can't or won't be trained.

I think it's interesting to note that every reply to your post has said essentially the same thing. This family clearly hasn't researched bird keeping or they'd know already that a quiet, cuddly, not-poopy bird doesn't exist. They should not get a bird, at least not yet. And they certainly shouldn't be putting any birds in the hands of a four-year-old!

You just have to decide whether or not you want to be party to the placement of some poor bloody creature in a situation where its owners haven't the foggiest idea of what its needs are (since they're clearly more concerned with their own).

Sorry. I don't see any other way of looking at things.

 

[wrench13]

Look at it like this: God answers all prayers. Sometimes the answer is No.

If anything, they should try visiting a parrot sanctuary, with the kid, and let the parrot choose them. THat parrot will at least have a preference for the family members. WIll it bite, poop all over, fling food or be loud? Possibly, these are all common with parrots, but at least the bird will have some sort of affinity for the people in his new home.

I got lucky with my yellow shoulder Amazon, Salty. They are known for a milder disposition then the much larger Hot 3 species of 'zons. But he is still loud a few times a day (getting out of the cage time, and dinner time), but he is pretty neat in eating habits, and poops vertically ( as opposed to horizontally). He bites during mating season if you are not attentive to his mood and body language, more of a nip then a meat removing bite. He likes scratches for a few family members, is tolerant of others and hates 1. HOWEVER - I work with him daily, handling him, playing with him and doing trick training, all of which promotes the special bond he has. Parrots are very much a participatory pet or companion. They are very much like a young child that needs to be engaged with daily. Hope your friends come over and read the comments on this thread, its excellent advice.