I understand your concern...I don't always work long shifts mostly 5-7 hours a day...to be honest I got her because I wanted a Macaw, everything has been going great with my amazon and he is every well adjusted, I just assumed that a macaw would be the same way. I hear people talking about routines for birds but I also think that if there is no routine they won't freak if it changes... the only routine they have is when they go to bed and when I get home whatever time that is they both get out of cage time... I really wasn't expecting to bring one home so soon but the way it worked out was I happened to be inquiring about if anyone knew of someone trying to re home a macaw to let me know, the manager said that they had one and were trying to downsize...I went to meet her and feel in love..and brought her home...at her first home she had started to pluck for some reason but I haven't seen any sign of it....I know that I might have made a hasty decision but what is done is done and I am trying to figure out a solution before I cause Keiko any harm
You're being too hard on yourself. Stop defending and justifying your decision to get Keiko, you have her now, 'damage done'. Best thing you can do now is try and improve her life, not dwell on what could have happened etc.
Someone already mentioned tv/cartoons, radio, things like that are all great to leave on for the birds when you're gone.
Why isn't your hubs interested in Keiko? Is he the same with Parker, or is it just Keiko? Some birds ARE phobic of toys, I'm sure there is certainly plenty of cockatoo owners (notorious for it) that will testify to that. New toys are scary, new things are scary. We've recently tried getting Merlin to forage for his food by placing marbles on top of it, you'd think we were killing him. 'WHAT IS THAT IN MY FOOD, OMG ITS NOT FOOD, CRY CRY CRY'.
Your bird is a baby that's starting to get hormones and that is still unsure of their environment. I wouldn't put it down to the 'lack' of routine, we have no routine with Merlin and that doesn't seem to affect him at all because like you said, if they have no routine, how can they be upset when you disrupt the routine?
Unless you are unhappy with Keiko, such as really not bonding and you genuinely want to give her up to someone else. Macaw is too much for you etc, then I'd say stick it out, one day Keiko might snap and just stop being scared, but chances are it's going to be a long drawn out process - that will go along much better with hubs input - and she just needs your time. Not your physical "here I am time" but just the chance to prove to you she isn't a wreck of a birdy. Good luck with whatever you choose to do. x