Will my Conure accept me again if I'm gone for 3 months?

[joewill85]

I'm in law school and one of the unfortunate consequences of this is that I need to do internships where I want to work. We have a GCC who is 6 months old and we'll have her in our home for almost 11 months when I would need to leave. I would be gone a minimum of 2 1/2 months, and possibly up to 3. I've heard of birds being cranky with their owners after being gone for 1 week, but how will she deal with me being gone for that long. I would fly back every 3 weeks, but only be home for a couple days. She would also be with my wife, and that makes me nervous that she would just bond with her and forget all about me.

Any advice is welcome, especially from people who have left their birds for extended periods of time. Thanks in advance.

P.S. One of the things I thought about was having my wife use video chat to show the bird my face and let me talk to her for a couple minutes each day.

 

[friedsoup]

Well being that I have left my Bogart for as much as 6 months at a time with my friend while I was on a job that I couldn't take him on he seems fine with the sepreration and welcome me back without pause. So I guess you will just have to take the chance that your wife will be the new best friend and she has to make sure no mating habits are allowed. And make sure you let the bird come to you on his/her terms when you visit,snacky balls or grapes should be on hand for the reunion.

 

[BoomBoom]

It should be interesting how he reacts to video chat. I'm sure with regular interaction, despite brief, will help tons during your prolonged absence.

 

[Akraya]

My first bird always had a special place for my fiance but he moved back to Sydney and he only comes up here sparringly. At first Misha was aprehensive (didn't like other males in general, over that now) but now it's all kisses and hugs. I'm sure he'll be fine, just wheel in the treats when you get back!

 

[WannaBeAParrot]

I like the video conferencing idea alot. You can make your favorite sounds together. Since u have some time before leaving, you can come up with some new and special "talk" or queues with your conure so that you can share them when u are on the video calls. You also have time for him to bond more with you and also with your wife so that he is secure with either or both. Pritti was with my husband for first 10 years, then I joined for last 20 years, and after one year with him we figured out that I should be nearly solely in charge of daily feeding and letting him out and putting him back in cage so that he would trust/like me. It worked. I did that for about a six weeks when my husband was away and we became buddies since. Vet said he has an unusual bond with both of us, nearly equal.

 

[BoomBoom]

Pritti was with my husband for first 10 years, then I joined for last 20 years, and after one year with him we figured out that I should be nearly solely in charge of daily feeding and letting him out and putting him back in cage so that he would trust/like me. It worked. I did that for about a six weeks when my husband was away and we became buddies since. Vet said he has an unusual bond with both of us, nearly equal.

That's great! Ultimately, this is my wish for Boomer. To not be bonded with just one of us, but equally. RIght now he likes both of us but has a slight preference for me. Sorry to derail the thread.

I guess it goes to show its not just the amount of time you spend with your bird, but the quality of time spent. So with enough awesome bonding time with your bird before and in short stints during your 3 month absence should bridge the gap.

 

[joewill85]

That's great! Ultimately, this is my wish for Boomer. To not be bonded with just one of us, but equally. RIght now he likes both of us but has a slight preference for me. Sorry to derail the thread.

Actually that brings up a question I have. My GCC seems to like me a little more than my wife. She's more receptive to getting headrubs inside her cage instead of biting or trying to perch on the finger. With my wife she's more unruly, and it takes my wife more time (and bites) before she'll stop doing that and let her pet her head. Outside of the cage she's fine with both of us as far as I can tell.

I'm really wondering what to do to make her like my wife more and not misbehave as much. I don't know if this is related to any of her misbehavior, but she won't play with her toys unless one of us is in the room. Her favorite toy has a bell on it and I would know if she was playing with it. Every time I come out of the office I just see her sitting on her perch or maybe eating.

 

[WannaBeAParrot]

@joewill85, It sounds like your gcc is very territorial with her cage when it comes to anyone but you -- it's normal for birds to be territorial about their cage, but also, I wonder... maybe your wife shows some fear or apprehension near your gcc, maybe she doesn't feel as secure with your wife. You could try putting your hand over your wife's and guide her through the motions that you do when your hand enters the cage. It would a learning process for all three of you. And talk as you usually talk to your gcc while doing that. Also, your wife could spend time hanging out by the cageside talking and being there during gcc's play time or encourage her to play with the toys and have fun. Pritti loves to hear women's voices singing .. anything... along with the radio... or putting a tune to normal words.... She could try to build a relationship with GCC that is different than yours that way. As far as the playing with toys when you are there -- does it draw your attention to GCC, i.e. you smile, talk, stop by cage, pick up her toys, etc? It could be the attention she gets when she sees you and plays with them.

Time and persistence = recipe for long-lasting happy relationships between humans and fids.

 

[AFP520]

Video chat is a great idea. Since we all have iPhones, Lucy loves to Facetime with me and my girlfriend, and family members. It's always funny to watch her reactions.

 

[DebsFlock]

I suspect once your wife takes over the daily chores, the issue will become more one that he may bond more strongly to her.

It sounded a little as if you were working through bites to allow petting... I think that's a little like insisting that your bird give in to something which is meant to be something she desires, and I would worry a little that it might set up a negative association with handling that is meant to be affectionate. Personally, I'd try to avoid forcing the issue in that case, I'd let the bird indicate when she's ready for that, so it becomes a reward. Desensitizing to necessary handling is one thing, but in my opinion this is a little different.

 

[joewill85]

I suspect once your wife takes over the daily chores, the issue will become more one that he may bond more strongly to her.

It sounded a little as if you were working through bites to allow petting... I think that's a little like insisting that your bird give in to something which is meant to be something she desires, and I would worry a little that it might set up a negative association with handling that is meant to be affectionate. Personally, I'd try to avoid forcing the issue in that case, I'd let the bird indicate when she's ready for that, so it becomes a reward. Desensitizing to necessary handling is one thing, but in my opinion this is a little different.

She bites primarily because she wants to use us as a perch and so is testing the sturdiness of our finger, and then it eventually devolves into her biting the finger because (I think) she finds it fun. We don't punish her for it at all, other than calmly saying "no bite" and withdrawing the finger. We'll both walk away after a few attempts if she doesn't want to get a head rub. It just seems to me that she wants a head rub from me more often than from my wife, unless she's out of the cage, at which point we can do pretty much whatever we want because it's all fun to her. She also dances around and makes a lot of racket around me before going to bed, which seems a little odd that she doesn't do as much of this around my wife. She practically went nuts tonight trying to get my attention.

I'm getting worried that she's going to just bond to me and start getting mean towards my wife, and I really don't want that to happen.

 

[DebsFlock]

You can try letting your wife take over more of the "chores" and provide more of the attention. Our GCC developed a strong preference for at about 2YO and has been terrible about being handled by my husband for about a year. Out of the blue yesterday he asked to be picked up by him. Sometimes I guess they just go through phases.