How can I calm myself down when my bird bites?

Hi everyone! I'm hoping for some advice and support.

I'm a first-time bird owner with a 5-year-old pionus who I adopted two months ago. Things are mostly great. He is well socialized, eats healthy food, enjoys my attention, and is receptive to training. I've been able to get him target trained, and he just learned how to wave. He gets so excited about training, and I think it has been a major source of bonding for us.

The major problem I'm having, I think, is me. Sometimes Edwin bites, and usually I can pinpoint why after-the-fact. For instance, this morning. A few weeks ago, Edwin began letting me give him neck scratches -- but only sometimes, and only on his terms. Sometimes I try to give him neck scratches when he doesn't explicitly demand them, and he usually accepts them, but sometimes puffs up or makes a bit of a hiss noise as if saying "No, I don't want neck scratches now." Usually I heed this warning and stop insisting on giving him scratches. This morning, I think I kept trying one time too many even after he gave me his warnings, and he lunged at my finger, which I pulled away. Then, he leaned down and bit my arm that he was standing on. It hurt and drew blood, and I reacted very angrily.

I know part of the answer is that I should be a little more hands off and only try to touch him when he wants me to. But the larger problem is how I react when he bites. I'm not going to lie -- it hurts, and I act harshly. When he bites like that and draws blood, I, in the heat of the moment, usually launch him off my arm, pick him up angrily with a perch, put him in his cage, and promptly cover it up for 5 minutes. I know my reaction comes off as extremely aggressive to him, and I'm sure it's not good for our relationship.

Do you have any advice on how I might calm down and not react so harshly when he bites? I want to react in the least damaging way possible, but it's hard, and I'm not quite sure how I should react anyway. I also want to know if maybe the more fundamental problem is that I am imposing on him too much... maybe avoiding the biting situations is what I really need to focus on. That would certainly be easier than calming down after receiving a bloody parrot bite!

Yes you are absolutely right. It is YOUR FAULT for getting bit in the first place. If you ignore the polite warnings he gives you, why do you insist to where he needs to bite to make you BACK OFF?? Each time this happen, it harms your relationship with him. Then you angrily put him in his cage and cover him? That's not good behavior from YOU.

As far as reacting to the pain of a Pionus bite, I understands your anger! My most painful bites come from one of my Pionus! It hurt like hell.
My advice is don't put either of you in that position.


As far as how to react when you do get bit? Place your bird down on his cage or play stand or wherever, and LEAVE THE ROOM. Once you calm down, your bird will act as if nothing happened and so should you. Ask for a behavior you know he will do, like step up and reward with a treat, so you have a positive interaction between you.

Do you have a T-stand or playing stand for him??? IF not, I would suggest you getting one and train on it instead of your arm. He's still getting to know you since it's only been two month of time. It can take a parrot a very long time to fully trust someone. So never force the issue if they don't want a neck rub. I never push for stuffs like that unless I know they're bonded with me.

Echo said:

Yes you are absolutely right. It is YOUR FAULT for getting bit in the first place. If you ignore the polite warnings he gives you, why do you insist to where he needs to bite to make you BACK OFF?? Each time this happen, it harms your relationship with him. Then you angrily put him in his cage and cover him? That's not good behavior from YOU.

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^I know perfectly well that it's bad behavior from me. That's why I'm posting here -- to seek advice and support, not to have anything rubbed in my face.

I appreciate the advice from both of you. I will focus on avoiding the biting situations in the first place. That does seem to be the easiest+only solution. And yes, I suppose two months in is still very early. Although he seems to have become a lot more comfortable with me during that time, there is a still a way to go. I don't want to cause any setbacks by imposing on him. From here on out, no neck scratches unless he explicitly demands them. I've been meaning to get him a playstand, Mikey -- thanks for the idea!

caprifolia said:

Echo said:

Yes you are absolutely right. It is YOUR FAULT for getting bit in the first place. If you ignore the polite warnings he gives you, why do you insist to where he needs to bite to make you BACK OFF?? Each time this happen, it harms your relationship with him. Then you angrily put him in his cage and cover him? That's not good behavior from YOU.

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^I know perfectly well that it's bad behavior from me. That's why I'm posting here -- to seek advice and support, not to have anything rubbed in my face.

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I didn't mean to be harsh at you personally. Your posts are also helping other members in maybe the same situation and I'm stating the behavior that one can have with their bird and what to do instead.
I apologize if I did.

No worries! I understand now. You were just making your points very clear, which is important.

Before posting this, I did a search over the internet for people in similar situations.. and I didn't find much! I think people are ashamed to admit when their own behavior is bad. Hopefully this post and your advice can be helpful to others who are too shy to post. It is already very helpful for me. Thanks again.

The alternative is to "ignore" the bite or to "push" into it.... maybe even do the "earthquake" method.

That is very common advise, and honestly, I don't understand why anyone would stand there and *ALLOW* their bird to tear into their flesh as if nothing is happening! Or potentially do an action which will result in even more biting!


It makes more sense to me to figure out why a parrot is biting, then avoid the bites altogether so you don't have to sit there and have an involuntary blood withdrawal. The only bite that can't be rewarded is the one that never occurs.


He can be taught to bow his head for scritches!

caprifolia said:

No worries! I understand now. You were just making your points very clear, which is important.

Before posting this, I did a search over the internet for people in similar situations.. and I didn't find much! I think people are ashamed to admit when their own behavior is bad. Hopefully this post and your advice can be helpful to others who are too shy to post. It is already very helpful for me. Thanks again.

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You are right. It is very humbling to have someone like you admitting their bad behavior . No one likes to admit bad behavior even though we all have done things we're not proud of.......EXCEPT TAB_XO our moderator as she can't do no wrong!!

MonicaMc said:

I don't understand why anyone would stand there and *ALLOW* their bird to tear into their flesh as if nothing is happening!

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I don't understand either! For budgies, maybe, but definitely not for larger birds...

MonicaMc said:

He can be taught to bow his head for scritches!

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Awesome! I should be very religious with rewarding him when he bows his head, and with food rewards too, not just scritches. I'll do some more research on this kind of training.

Actually, budgies can be very easy to tame when flighted and using food! And I'm talking about adult birds!

I used to have a budgie flock of 5, all adults, from different places. Well, two girls came from the same breeder and two other girls came from the same home. All flighted, none tame.


I decided to try an experiment and see if I could gain the trust of these 5 little birds. I started this by feeding them by hand every morning within their cage. After they were done eating, I refreshed their food dishes. Repeated for several days. Then, I sat outside their cage with my hand near the door. If they wanted food, they had to come out of the cage. Refresh the food dishes and they'd go back in. Repeat. Then, I stood a few feet away from the door with food in my hand. They came out of their cage, flew to my hand and ate the food! Replenish food inside cage and they'd go back in!

That's all I had meant to do! And it worked! Then I had a cockatiel start following me around the room, and for two weeks I couldn't figure out what she wanted! She even landed on me a couple of times, something she had never done before. Finally, one day it clicked! I started feeding her by hand like I had been doing with the budgies and she was as happy as can be!

Monkey see, monkey do... soon after, I had another cockatiel that wanted in on the action! Not much longer after that, and I'm feeding my flock of cockatiels by hand like I was feeding the budgies! Even my most skittish/afraid cockatiel would fly to me and *wait* to be fed! Only Casey, my first tiel, is really tame, friendly and demanding of human interaction. The rest just ignored me or wanted me to leave them alone.... so for them to display new behaviors and actually enjoy/demand me to feed them was amazing!

Having multiple birds, I don't care if they are all tame, friendly and loving as long as they are happy, healthy and content.

MonicaMc said:

Actually, budgies can be very easy to tame when flighted and using food! And I'm talking about adult birds!

I used to have a budgie flock of 5, all adults, from different places. Well, two girls came from the same breeder and two other girls came from the same home. All flighted, none tame.


I decided to try an experiment and see if I could gain the trust of these 5 little birds. I started this by feeding them by hand every morning within their cage. After they were done eating, I refreshed their food dishes. Repeated for several days. Then, I sat outside their cage with my hand near the door. If they wanted food, they had to come out of the cage. Refresh the food dishes and they'd go back in. Repeat. Then, I stood a few feet away from the door with food in my hand. They came out of their cage, flew to my hand and ate the food! Replenish food inside cage and they'd go back in!

That's all I had meant to do! And it worked! Then I had a cockatiel start following me around the room, and for two weeks I couldn't figure out what she wanted! She even landed on me a couple of times, something she had never done before. Finally, one day it clicked! I started feeding her by hand like I had been doing with the budgies and she was as happy as can be!

Monkey see, monkey do... soon after, I had another cockatiel that wanted in on the action! Not much longer after that, and I'm feeding my flock of cockatiels by hand like I was feeding the budgies! Even my most skittish/afraid cockatiel would fly to me and *wait* to be fed! Only Casey, my first tiel, is really tame, friendly and demanding of human interaction. The rest just ignored me or wanted me to leave them alone.... so for them to display new behaviors and actually enjoy/demand me to feed them was amazing!

Having multiple birds, I don't care if they are all tame, friendly and loving as long as they are happy, healthy and content.

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Love this! You nailed it. And I agree with your last sentence!!

Echo said:

MonicaMc said:

Actually, budgies can be very easy to tame when flighted and using food! And I'm talking about adult birds!

I used to have a budgie flock of 5, all adults, from different places. Well, two girls came from the same breeder and two other girls came from the same home. All flighted, none tame.


I decided to try an experiment and see if I could gain the trust of these 5 little birds. I started this by feeding them by hand every morning within their cage. After they were done eating, I refreshed their food dishes. Repeated for several days. Then, I sat outside their cage with my hand near the door. If they wanted food, they had to come out of the cage. Refresh the food dishes and they'd go back in. Repeat. Then, I stood a few feet away from the door with food in my hand. They came out of their cage, flew to my hand and ate the food! Replenish food inside cage and they'd go back in!

That's all I had meant to do! And it worked! Then I had a cockatiel start following me around the room, and for two weeks I couldn't figure out what she wanted! She even landed on me a couple of times, something she had never done before. Finally, one day it clicked! I started feeding her by hand like I had been doing with the budgies and she was as happy as can be!

Monkey see, monkey do... soon after, I had another cockatiel that wanted in on the action! Not much longer after that, and I'm feeding my flock of cockatiels by hand like I was feeding the budgies! Even my most skittish/afraid cockatiel would fly to me and *wait* to be fed! Only Casey, my first tiel, is really tame, friendly and demanding of human interaction. The rest just ignored me or wanted me to leave them alone.... so for them to display new behaviors and actually enjoy/demand me to feed them was amazing!

Having multiple birds, I don't care if they are all tame, friendly and loving as long as they are happy, healthy and content.

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Love this!

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Me too! I just brought home a young budgie to become Edwin and I's third roommate... Then Edwin and the budgie will have each others' company when I'm gone at work (they're in the same room, but different cages). Glad to know a taming technique that worked for you with budgies! Mine is still very scared, settling in... although he's starting to move around more and chirp

Hi I have a U2 when she bites lets just say hurt doesn't cover it lol. When it's your nose wow, that was pretty bad. Birds feed off our emotions. So it's important to stay calm even though you want to toss them away and run out of the room screaming four letter words. In my case after she bit me in the nose pretty good I have to tell ya. I calmly put her down. Walked out of the room closed the door called HELP to anyone in the house went in my room and stared screaming four letter words. The MOST important thing is it gave me time to cool of and get bandaged up and her time to calm down. I also understand. My Mina will bite id I want to give her loving and she wants to be out playing instead. I noticed she likes scratches in the morning and early evening. Perhaps there is a time your bird likes scratched better. Getting more birds could be a mistake only because now you have more potentially difficult birds to take care of.

Caprifolia, congrats to you if Edwin lets you give him scritches at all. Not all birds do...it takes a lot of trust. He must really like you, either that or he really likes scritches

Also, it sounds to me like you have been trying to learn as much as you can about how to build a good relationship with your birds. That is awesome! Keep up the good work!

Personally, I have had birds for most of the last 30 years and I still learn new things about them on a regular basis.

One of the things that I have been learning a lot about lately is positive reinforcement training. Not only training but how to have only positive interactions with my birds. This is admittedly a very different concept than what many of us were taught especially going back 20-30 years. It is a different mindset and a different approach and it really takes some practice and getting used to.

As you mentioned, one of the biggest things is to learn to communicate with Edwin. Birds communicate with us all the time but sometimes we just may not understand or maybe we just act like we don't understand. When we do that, then our birds try a different way of communicating such as biting. To make matters worse, biting is a learned behavior so if you have a bird who came from a previous home he may have learned there, that biting gets him what he wants and so he is using it with you.

If he doesn't want to be petted or handled in a certain way he has learned that biting will get you to leave him alone. By understanding and heeding his body language that says I don't like that or want you to do that right now, you can reinforce that those more gentle and subtle signals get the point across and you will likely see fewer and fewer bites.

Ignoring the subtle signs only teaches him that you don't understand and may eventually lead to him skipping the subtle signal and going directly to biting. Then you would have a real problem.

One of my favorite concepts in handling birds is to treat them with the respect that you might have if you were handling a lion or a tiger. If you wanted to pet a lion and he backed away, or turned his head up, would you reach around those teeth and try and pet him anyways. Probably not!

In the same way, when our birds turn away or turn their beaks up to avoid a head scritch we might be tempted to go ahead and pet them anyways but that is only asking for a bite.

Just keep up patiently working with Edwin and focus on things that you both enjoy and I am sure you can have a wonderful relationship.

To answer your question about what to do if you do get bit. Obviously, Edwin likes to be with you and likes the attention. Removing him as quickly and gently from biting you as you possibly can and putting him somewhere safe and walking away will be sufficient to show him that biting is not acceptable. Remember birds have no trouble with subtle communication from you, it's us that don't get it. If you walk away then your bird knows you disapprove.

The only times I really force my birds to do anything is in an emergency (they are in danger) or if they are in the midst of administering a bite. I do try calmly to stop them from biting and then I try to set them down somewhere safe.

Then I take a moment to assess the damage and probably at that point I don't really want to talk to or play with that bird again till I feel a little better about them. As you might imagine it is usually my own fault and I rarely get bit without seeing it coming, but we all make mistakes and as you hinted at it is good to have a plan of action so that when the situation arises we know what to do. You can develop a different habit of response then you have now and it will get easier for both you and Edwin.

Best wishes in working with your little buddy

All I can say is that Skitles has launched into me three or four times. I guarantee each bite was my fault. How to respond is a much bigger question. All of Skittles bits have been to fingers, one drew blood. I find if he goes to bite and gets me there has to be a set protocol for YOUR behavior. 1. When (not if) you get bit, you cannot react. How do you teach yourself that? I have no idea. I do know, after several surgeries, broken bones and other illness that I have a high pain tolerance. (And, I'm a slow reactor ... to everything! He, or she isn't out for a meal, they are expressing their fears and anger. If you get bit, let the bite "happen". If you pull, he is more likely to bite harder than let go. Same with pushing into it. Once he is "off the bite" I try and voice displeasure in the way I talk to him, put him into his cage and walk away. Let him calm down (me, too). Then come back and ask him to do somehing he will do for you and give him a treat.

Any mean, angry, rapid movement reinforces his defence mechanisms and will likely lead to more bites.

forbey said:

A If you get bit, let the bite "happen". If you pull, he is more likely to bite harder than let go. Same with pushing into it. Once he is "off the bite"

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This is interesting to me, I hear all sorts of different advice and I wonder if a lot of what is best depends upon your bird.

I've had various birds of various sizes bite me and it usually is a quick strike. That is pretty easy to let happen and its over and done.

However, I have been learning that caiques are more of a latch on and chew or grind type bite so I do have to physically remove myself from their beaks. In most cases mine are just getting carried away or trying to pry something out of my hand. Yow! when they wedge their little beak under my wedding ring and try to twist it off that really hurts. If only they would ask politely I would let them have it!

Anyway, I have found that I can stop them from chomping down by holding their beak and keeping it from grinding on my skin. Still they are pretty tough and have to let go on their own.

Also, if it is just an exploratory, curious beaking, say to my ear, If I panic and react quickly then they clamp down. If I gently and slowly brush their beak away with my hand they don't clamp down. It is hard to do though because I really hate to get my ear (or my nose) pierced by a bird.

With the caiques I find it's more about being over excited or frustrated than mean so that when you really don't get much warning. You have to be on your toes.

ParrotsParrotsParrots said:

forbey said:

A If you get bit, let the bite "happen". If you pull, he is more likely to bite harder than let go. Same with pushing into it. Once he is "off the bite"

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This is interesting to me, I hear all sorts of different advice and I wonder if a lot of what is best depends upon your bird.

I've had various birds of various sizes bite me and it usually is a quick strike. That is pretty easy to let happen and its over and done.

However, I have been learning that caiques are more of a latch on and chew or grind type bite so I do have to physically remove myself from their beaks. In most cases mine are just getting carried away or trying to pry something out of my hand. Yow! when they wedge their little beak under my wedding ring and try to twist it off that really hurts. If only they would ask politely I would let them have it!

Anyway, I have found that I can stop them from chomping down by holding their beak and keeping it from grinding on my skin. Still they are pretty tough and have to let go on their own.

Also, if it is just an exploratory, curious beaking, say to my ear, If I panic and react quickly then they clamp down. If I gently and slowly brush their beak away with my hand they don't clamp down. It is hard to do though because I really hate to get my ear (or my nose) pierced by a bird.

With the caiques I find it's more about being over excited or frustrated than mean so that when you really don't get much warning. You have to be on your toes.

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You might be correct on the differences in birds (species and personalities). So far Skittles is a quick strike and back off bird. He's even scared the crap out of me by reaching out and grabbing an offered treat, which he immediately drops (almost throws). I fix him, the dogs get the treat and he doesn't get offered another one till later.

To be fair, I've gotten to know what he looks like when he's in a biting mood, so I just talk to him and wait till he changes his posture to one that is more open to interacting.

I also avoid interacting with him when the grandkids are around ... he acts like he doesn't want to share and is more than willing to let me know. Two of the bites came when the kids were visiting. It's been a while since I've allowed him to get the better of me.



As far as trust goes, I do let him preen my hair when he's behaving. I bow the top of my head toward him. I stil don't feel safe giving him kisses or letting him stah to long near the ears. He's also rough on glasses. So, where trust hasn't been earned, trust isn't given.

Ooo, forbey, I know what you mean about ears and glasses! LOL! The Beaks *know* they're not supposed to do ears or glasses, but like toddlers they push the boundaries from time to time. Thankfully, it's usually only an exploratory nibble, so I'll just brush them away. Sometimes, though, they will lunge and beak at me. During those times, it's *always* when I'm asking them to do something they don't want (eg. training for too long or removing them from my fast-disappearing upholstered chair). Each time the Beaks do that (lunge at me), I'm reminded *not* to push them into biting behaviour. It's the single worst thing you can do to a bird, I reckon!

Dominic is a different kettle of fish. He just bites. No warning, no apparent reason (except hatred of my good self) - just a vicious chomp and grinding twist of the flesh. The other evening, he caught me a beauty on the soft flesh of my underarm as I reached his veggies into his cage. My word. That was challenging. It's a wonder you didn't hear me swearing all the way on the other side of the Specific Ocean! It's funny, though. I don't take Dom's bites personally as he's a damaged personality. I *do* take the Beaks' attempts very personally because we have a bond and it means a lot to me.

So, after a lunge or, rarely, a bite, I'll wag my finger in the offender's face and say clearly 'Don't bite Mummy!'. Then, I put him/her down and ignore for five minutes. They know darned well they've done the wrong thing and before I know it they're in my hair again, preening for all they're worth. Just like kids, really!

PPP, forbey is saying to "ignore" the bite. People recommend this technique so that it'll teach the parrot that it's not getting what the bird wants.... the bird can't boss you around.

In reality, it's not understanding why the bite is occurring in the first place and is not respecting the bird. If possible, birds should not be pushed into feeling as if they need to bite.


Many people say that getting bitten is just a part of parrot ownership, but it doesn't have to be that way! With the right kind of training, parrots can be trained with minimal amounts of biting, if any at all.

First off I will say I commend you for your honesty. I would take Mikeys suggestion of getting a t stand or play stand to sit him on if a bite occurs. That would be better then putting Edwin back in the cage and covering it. I would also honestly say to listen to what Monica said. First off I would back off when you see Edwin does not want stiches. With Captain Jack if he will not step up I just shut the cage door and come back a little later. I even decided to get him into the habit when I open the cage door that he has to climb out and come to me. For the most part Captain Jack decides to step up when I ask or come out of his cage and come to me. I make attempts not to annoy him. So far he has never bite me and draw blood. Think of it this way if a person told you that you were doing something that annoyed them would you stop out of politeness? Of course in the real world you will experience annoyances or annoy someone alittle however since it is mild we move on. Does Captain Jack never get annoyed? No, he gets annoyed a little sometimes. For example he gets annoyed about the avatar harness. Sometimes I pause and let him get himself together. Strange as it may sound I think he knows I love him, I think he knows he does annoying little things so he gives me a little break. I am sure you and Edwin's relationship will get better over time and who knows he might want extra stitch times when he sees they are not pushed onto him. Now I have been bitten by a couple of birds which I will go into detail about in my next post.