Help! My Parrot is driving me nuts!

For Struggling Parrot Owners​

I started this thread so that i could relay just how easy it is to slip up and continue reinforcing bad behavior. And also to pass on any knowledge i might have, and gather knowledge from my fellow forum members.

This is a work in progress and may have mistakes, because frankly, i'm still learning! Please add your own opinions

Ok so my parrots don't scream. But the used to. They used to Bite me. I've spent countless hours reinforcing silence talking, and gentle playfulness.

But today i realized something. I'm reinforcing screaming in my 6 week old sun conure.. OMGOSH. I didn't even realize it. I'm so used to quiet that when he started screaming like an adult sun conure when i would leave, i would go over and give him scritches (Which he loves).. how could this happen?

I've been schooled in training and positive reinforcement.
I'm currently reading the Bible of Positive Reinforcement Training.

And im doing everything backward.

Well No More. I'm traveling back in time to when i had a noisy house and recalling the drastic changes I had to make in order to get my parrots quiet enough in order to let me think, and stay out of the local mental institution.

Here is going to be a short guide in which i will get you started on the right path to a quiet, peaceful home, or a home where your parrots talk non stop!

This is what has worked for me, this is my personal method of training.

Many of us dove right into the parrot world without a inkling of how to properly care for and train our feathered friends. Sadly, this results in a lot of sour relationships, re homed parrots, angry owners, perforated eardrums, and bloody limbs. It doesn't have to be that way. With just a few steps you can get on the right path to having an enjoyable and rewarding relationship with your fids.

Step 1:
Stop What You're Doing and Think
What am I doing to reinforce this bad behavior?
When your parrot screams for attention what do you do? Do you try to ignore it? Run over to the cage and yell at your bird to shut it? Do you give it some food or a toy to occupy his beak for a few short lived moments of silence? Throw a towel over the cage?Do you bang on the cage? Or do you just give in and play with him.

All of these things are reinforcing the bad behavior. Not to mention that banging on your parrots cage, or throwing something at the cage will likely result in a frightened, screaming, hostile bird that will not trust you, and could even possibly lead to death. Do Not Hit Your Bird. Do Not Throw Things At Him. Do Not Bang On His Cage!

If you get Anything out of this post, I hope you read those big red letters.
Hitting, Throwing, Banging, is completely unacceptable and if you do these things, you should seriously consider finding a loving home for your Parrot.

If you have unknowingly reinforced the bad behavior using some of these methods, don't worry. It can be corrected!

Step 2:
Implement Positive Training
What can I do to correct the issue?
Well It's quite simple in theory, but little tricky in a real life situation. With effort on your part, and a little practice, you will be reinforcing good behavior in no time.

Biting
If your bird bites you, don't say No! This just teaches makes your bird think "Hey! If i bite this thing, it makes a funny noise!"

As soon as your bird bites you, promptly set him down on a stand, his cage, or floor if it's safe. Make sure no treats are available. Don't say a word to him the whole time, and exit the line of sight. No Shaking, No Yelling. I know its hard, especially if there is blood. I Personally use the floor. Most birds don't like to be on the floor, and my floor is pretty safe. After about 30 seconds of being out of visual range of the bird, and no stimuli like yelling or toys, go back to your bird and try again.

Remember, birds have 2 feet, 2 wings and a beak. Wings can't grab on to things, but feet and a beak can! Parrots use their beaks to grasp for balance, they use their beaks as tools, and to generally explore. A Baby puts things in their mouths, a bird puts things in their beaks. So Make sure it's an actual bite!

Screaming
If your parrot starts screaming, promptly walk away without a word into another room. Wait for desirable behavior. Then quickly go reward your bird. Start Slow. If you want silence, wait in the other room patiently and quietly until your bird give you 10 seconds of silence. Then go reward your bird. Increase the amount of silence required by 10 seconds every couple days. Your Bird will quickly learn that silence gives him attention. This can be modified with any behavior you want. Want your Bird to say Hello? instead of screaming for attention? Wait for your bird to say Hello, then immediately reward the behavior with whatever works. Scritches, treats, general attention. If he starts screaming, repeat this process. You can enhance this with a clicker. As soon as your bird says Hello, Use the clicker and give a treat like a pine nut or whatever your bird enjoys as a small treat. positive Reinforcement needs to be immediate or you will be rewarding the behavior directly after what you like.

If you got your 10 seconds of silence and started walking toward your bird and he lets out a scream, turn your butt around! Start the process over.

Birds are Highly Intelligent They will grasp whats going on faster than you think.

A Clicker can be bought at almost any pet shop. Really, I recommend one.

Step 3:
Practice Makes Perfect
When will i see results?

Well the fact of the matter is results may come immediately, or may be delayed based on the relationship you have with your parrot.

Think of what may be delaying results. What is distracting your parrot from his positive reinforcement?
Try a room that is quiet, and the least familiar to your parrot, with few distractions for either of you.
Birds that are in a new environment will cling like Velcro to whatever is most familiar to them.

In such a room, you will be the most familiar object. Your bird will be very attentive to your actions, so make it count!

Practice, Practice, Practice!

Step 4:
Be Positive
Don't give in to frustration

Keep a positive attitude. Know that you will make progress with your feathered friend. Know that your relationship will grow. Your bird will be happier, you will be happier. Your Family/Roommate/Neighbor will be happier!

Ear Plugs work great ;-)



I'm still learning. This is my working method. It may Change, at which time i will edit this post.

Good Luck!


I made a boo boo, i had a large portion of this copied to clipboard, accidentlly pasted it like 3 times, after a final edit. There was a lot more, and less mistakes. But now i'm out of time. So I'll come back to it :/

That's good observation, Tim. People often start treating birds like dogs, and that doesn't work. I want to share a horrible "cruel" trick I did to my new cockatiel to stop him from excessive screaming. I know we need to ignore the screaming and not pay attention to it, but sometimes it can just drive nuts. When we got our cockatiel (he was rescue) he was screaming a lot with a deafening piercing tone. He is much better now, but once in a while he still does that - and that's SO ANNOYING. After my hubby has told me a few times to take him to the shelter (hope he wasn't serious) I had to figure out a thing to stop the screaming. When he starts to scream I gently cover him with a light little piece of sheet (part of the same sheet I use for his cage cover) and he has to find his way out. While he is trying to get out from under the sheet he forgets about his screaming and starts playing with this sheet! Now when he makes a scream and then sees me with this cloth in my hand he shuts up right away! It sounds cruel, but he doesn't really get scared or hurt - this is just distracting him from a bad habit (I hope).

Excellent post! Kiwi does things that drive me crazy all the time, but if I wanted a frustration-free parrot, I would have bought a nice, realistic statue. Parrots are just like toddlers who NEVER EVER grow up and if more people looked at them like they did a small child, there would be a whole lot less issue with "dealing" with their sometimes perplexing behavior. I mean, would you scream at, hit, smack the walls, throw or give away your 2 or 3 year old because they threw a tantrum or bit you? NO. You would be the adult and correct the behavior in a calm, rational, ADULT-LIKE manner. When we got Kiwi, there was a point I was almost at my wits end with him. Some of the BEST advice I got on dealing with it (that led to an overall well behave bird) was off PARENTING WEBSITES and that show "super nanny" I just used some good common sense and applied the concepts in a way that suited the mind of a little kid with limited communication skills. Worked beautifully too! Parrots do throw tantrums, behave defiantly, express frustration in less than desirable ways... and if you can't handle a pet who isn't obedient by nature, don't get a parrot! Dogs have been bred for thousands of generations to obey and behave. Parrots have not. Get a dog, a fish, a plant or better yet, a pet rock if you don't want to deal with disobedience!

Kiwi was actually being a little such and such this morning (you know those times your looking at your crockpot and having bad thoughts:54. He absolutely refused to step up and I needed him out of the kitchen so I could prepare breakfast. He was being aggressive too! As the more intelligent human, I understand that getting all worked up over him being a dumb animal wasn't going to help anything. Instead, I was authoritative, did not flinch at his lunges, and held my hand there while firmly repeating the step up command until he got tired of protesting and stepped up (and praised him when he did, even though I wanted to do something else to him for the 10 minute standoff he instigated:20. God knows why he decided he didn't want to step up, but now all is calm again and he's being a good boy again (like he is 90% of the time). These situations do come up, even in well trained and normally well behaved birds and I assure any prospective or frustrated bird owner, the bird isn't doing it so you'll start mistreating or punishing them. The bird is a bird and there isn't always a rational explanation for their behavior (or at least one WE interpret) You are a human being, and you DO have to answer for your behavior. Don't let your bird outsmart you and frustrate you to the point of no return...

Thanks for the positive feedback guys! I have the second post reserved because i will be adding to this as i go along and wanted to make sure that there was enough space in case i run out of room in the first post. Because i am still learning, please give your feedback so that i can edit and add your ideas I am open to any new ideas, even if they contradict my own, because i could possibly be wrong about some things. (I wouldn't knowingly add any wrongful information obviously, so if you see something point it out.

Any stories, advice, recommendations.

And again, thanks for the positive feedback It took me like 2 hours to write because i fudged it up. What happened was i copied and pasted it to MS Word to save it halfway through because my laptop sometimes shuts down if i bump it (Bad battery) Well, i did this several times to be sure. I went and edited part of it, and then pasted the new version. Then i realized oops! i didn't delete the other version before i re pasted the new, i did this like 3 times -_- and it was all out of order in word. So i have to read like 4 different versions of this, and piece it all back together because im an r-tard. Well, i didn't have enough time before i went out, and part of it isnt revised. It's good enough for now, ill edit it later. But that made me so mad, And i lost like 1/3 of what i wrote completely..

I just really hope that this will help some people out. I'm sure there are similar guides here on the forum, but this is my version. If it saves just one person from abusing a bird, or improving a relationship. Then it has served it's purpose. I'm so sick of rescuing birds. Don't get me wrong, i love rescuing them, but the fact that i need to is what makes me angry. Some of the conditions i get birds in is just horrid. I'm sure many of you know what i'm talking about. I'm even going to stop breeding for the time being because of how many are in need of homes. Just like someone posted on here yesterday.

love you guys

Screaming, biting, and many taming and handling retraining protocols are already posted on this forum.

Just do a search.

Birdman666 said:

Screaming, biting, and many taming and handling retraining protocols are already posted on this forum.

Just do a search.

Click to expand...

I Realize that, I wanted to start my own, because it is the method I use, and why not? Maybe some are better than mine, i'm sure there are. but maybe someone will slip across my method without seeing another and save a bird from abuse.

Here's a link to a thread I posted a little while ago... This points out the fact that there isn't always ONE single method or approach for any given behavior It was a popular thread (long) but skimming through some of the answers and opinions that were given might give people some new ideas.

http://www.parrotforums.com/training/43631-old-vs-modern-techniques.html

Ahem...Timothy, no need to 'reserve' a spot. You can just add on whenever you have time to do so.

Your posts don't need to be in a certain order, as I'm sure our members will read them regardless.

This thread caught my attention because I couldn't understand why a parrot will drive someone nuts.. Positive reinforcement is the answer to life... I agree. I'm learning everything I can about my new bird because I don't want her to her to die and I want her to live a full life... I've already learned that sprays or any kind of thing infecting the air is no good for the poor bird. Being a first-time bird owner.....watching her in the the cage like a prisoner .makes me feel so bad keeping her in the cage...I let her out twice I've had her for about six days I need all the advice I can get it... I'm falling in love with a bird.. It's amazing.. I can talk to her for hours and sing and she clicks her tongue with me she has a great sense of humor. Im trusting her more so I'm guessing the feeling is mutual. She likes the Beatles song "you won't see me again" But I'm so paranoid of anything harming her and I want to be her friend that's why I joined this site to learn form experienced bird owners. Meena is my new bird and my first....she is 20 years old and dropped off at the bird store (her owners moved to fl and can't have pets) I visit before work every day... She doesn't scream. She sings and whistles sometimes when I leave the room. I've hand fed her some peanuts and apples. I want to buy her a new cage any suggestions?

Great post again, Tim. I have a question though. What if your bird is screaming for something particular - for example to uncover his cage in the morning or to let you know he wants to go to sleep? My tiel does that - he actually stopped screaming for no reason (at least no reason for me), but when I hear his scream from another room I know exactly what he wants - he is either hungry and wants to go down to eat, but there are other birds there and he is scared; or he wants to go to bed. He stops screaming as soon as I do what he needs. In the morning he gives out only one screech to let me know that it's time to open the cage cover (usually very early), and then he is silent and just "purrs" when I come out of my bedroom an hour later. Is that normal? It has nothing to do with cuddling or me being around (well it sometimes does if I forget to pet him "seriously" for a few days), but he just lets me know that he needs something he cannot do on him own. He used to screech when he would fly to an unfamiliar location on the floor (usually within 6-7 ft from the cage!) in hope I would pick him up and take back, but I completely ignored that and he figured he'd better find his way back himself. So what would do in such situation? I know that if he screams it means there is something wrong that I need to address - how can I ignore that?

While going though my transition there was a lot of stress in my home. Living with my Ex was not easy and Valentino picked up on my anxiety, depression and stresses. Valentino also went from a home with animal companions to being alone with only me.

Then I took a 5 week contract that kept me away from home 10.5 hours a day. Valentino spends too much time alone with no other companion.

Of course with all these negative changes comes negative behaviors. There is also the fact Valentino's screams trigger me to no end. Never has a parrot triggered me like Valentino's screams. They would set me off and I will say I have yelled at him.

I have noticed a light at the end of the tunnel. Since my Ex moved out I have total control over my environment. I can actually clean my home and it stays clean instead of consistently having to pick up and clean up after my Ex. I don't have to work as hard keeping my home the way I want. My depression is being managed and I have worked very hard to desensitize myself with my anxiety issues.

Needless to say I am not as stressed out as I was before. There are still very real challenges for me at this time but I can handle them a lot better than I was able to before.

Valentino's screaming is getting better. I need to be mindful of his needs as well since he spends too much time alone. When it gets to be 6pm and I am not going downstairs for our evening together time he will start to scream. It is a different scream more like a contract call than that horrible loud powerful scream he can make when he is upset, angry, over stressed or ignored (when I ignore him screaming but still in area where he can see me like the laundry mud room)

Timothy your post has reminded me that I do have the ability to reverse Valentino's negative behaviors. I have already begun work in much of the same way you have done. Because I can handle things much better I can work with Valentino much more effectively.

I still have very real concerns for Valentino's mental health. I feel because he is the only parrot now that this has caused his mental health to suffer. I can no longer be home all day (even though I work in my office during the day I use to be home all day and could take breaks by going downstairs to interact with Valentino) and Valentino no longer has any companions.

I feel strongly that living alone is very hard since I have not done it since 1997. Valentino relies too heavily on me to be his companion and friend. I understand because because that is his reality. I know if I had another parrot like I use to this may help with Valentino's loneliness and help give some kind of companionship while I have to be away from the home.

Fact is I cannot bring another animal into my home until I am fully on my feet in a stable living condition. My health is doing much better but to have the responsibility of two parrots doubles my workload with the cages and doubles food prep and cost, vet bills, toys, perches, everything a parrot needs to stay happy and healthy.

Frankly at this time I can barely afford Valentino. I know to get another parrot right now is not feasible but I hope to someday be able to do this. I want another parrot not just for Valentino and to make a flock but because I WANT another parrot. I have always lived with at least two parrots in my home.

My concerns are that Valentino's mental health is suffering due to all the changes in our lives and with his companions being stripped away from him. He is so intelligent that I feel he probably suffers from his current situation.

So to sum up my post. I believe I am implementing a lot of the same behavior modification you mention in your post but I am also concerned with Valentino's overall mental health.

During the week of my recovery (am having surgery on Monday) I will be taking Valentino in for his well bird check up. I just feel strongly I cannot miss it this year. Too many changes and too much stress in this boys life and I want to make sure Dr. Blair sees him and can asses his current condition.

What are good treats for training?

Good treats are something your bird likes alot, but also healthy. Set out a few things like almonds, pistachios, carrots. Just something he enjoys. It's easy 4 me, Mango loves everything!

Adam_T said:

What are good treats for training?

Click to expand...

The treat you want to use for training should be one they don't get at any other time. That way, they'll never tire of it and always look forward to having it. Take several of his favorite foods and see which he goes to first. Then remove that food from his everyday diet. (So make sure it's not something essential. Like eclectus, for instance, need lots of vitamin A. So I wouldn't remove carrots from my birds' diet.)

For my birds, I use pomegranates and pieces of cashew.

Thanks so much! I just posted a plea for tips on training my "fluff of terror", Verdie the quaker. I now realize that I've been going about things all wrong, by bending to her whims to try and please her! I'm going to have to practice ignoring those loud quaker screams, and maybe learn to love the bloody fingers a bit, so that I stop reinforcing that aggressiveness through flinching. Parrots sure are tough, that's for sure! I'm still happy I rescued her, though.

Wait. The bloody fingers? If you mean the method by which you allow them to bite you without reacting, I'd really advise against it.

You should respond to a bite by telling your bird "no" in an even tone. No raised voices, as some birds will actually bite just for the thrill of your reaction. Same goes for movements. Nothing overly animated. Use the hand not currently being gnawed and grip the beak just above the point, firmly but obviously not painfully so, and twist gently upward until you are able to leverage yourself free.

Just taking the bite is unnecessarily painful, IMO.