18 y/o African grey HATES baths, hasnt had one in more than 10 years

(BACKGROUND) First, Ive had Harley all my life and my mother was not prepared for the consequences of raising a parrot and me at the same time. Harley was the nicest bird in the world...until i was born, he grew hate for my mom neglecting him and he attacked me many times...flying across the room to do so.
My mother took him in car rides, gave him baths, and always gave him attention, until she had me. Also when my mother was at work, the bird screamed, so my father would put him secluded in the dark laundry room and spray him with water if he made a noise.

I cry a lot about that. Before I took total responsibility of Harley, he would silently sit in his cage in the living room with no toys or a few a year for years. He also only eats seeds and wont eat fruits or anything like he used to can i get help with that too? My skype name is Val.sobo and im really desperate for help.

Now ironicly, 18 years later Harley is my best friend and he is always in my company. My mother cant afford toys for him so I spend hours making him ones. He hates women and bites them except me unless I invade his space when he doesnt want me there. I understand how complex and intelligent these birds are and it makes me really upset Harleys whole life was just a decoration and no one tried to understand him. Now im doing everything I can to show him love for the rest of his life one step at a time.

(QUESTION)
Because my father hated birds he used to spray Harley in punishment for screaming or making noises. Harley now has a resentment against water especially if its not in his bowl. When he is near a running sink he will scream, growl, fly away, and bite. This is really upsetting and ide like some advice.

Mine hates them too, to the point of at one time, having to be toweled to get him to take one.

He gets one once a week anyway.

Guess what? The towel gets wet, then so do you.

Whatchagonnadoabout it?!

He gets one anyway once per week. And when he gets uppity, and does his poofy bird dance, we shall not be moved thing, I get out my towel and show it to him...

Here's a shocker. The towel comes out, and the poofy bird thing stops and he steps up... he is OH SO NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT... but he does step up. And he gets wet. And I tell him he's a good bird, and reassure him that it wasn't that bad... and give him a favorite treat when I put him back.

So he reluctantly tolerates it.

VERY RELUCTANTLY.

DO IT ANYWAY!!!
Do that on

Mine hasn't been bathing much. I sprayed her off one day but then she seemed off, she was definitely miffed for the day. She's never had water used as a punishment (that I know of). How can I encourage her to like it? She gets some humidity, I've started bringing her in the bathroom when I shower in the mornings.

Thats great ive never thought of that!

Have you tried a glass pie dish at the bottom of the cage? That way he can bath himself. Mine hate water also, but I mist him with a spray bottle on a very fine mist. Or I let him do it himself with a pie dish like mentioned. I didn't think mine would go for it, but he did!

You can also try eating with him. Make yourself and Harley a dish/bowl of some bird safe food items and sit with him and eat together.

When I got Buddy, he hadn't showered in a long while. I tried many suggestions given on this forum, the spray bottle? He ran back and forth on his perch like I set him on fire. Dribble water on him, pie plate of water, no and no. The winner, taking him in the shower with me. So I'll take him in the bathroom with me, he's on my shoulder, he's good, still won't use the shower perch but he gets excited when I turn the water on, we get in, he runs under the water, spreads his wings and sings while under the water. Talk about a 180%. He now decides when he's done and flies up to the shower rod to visit with the sexy bird in the mirror. So group activity worked for us, that was the suggestion that worked! And it took time and patience.

I dunno about AGs, but I always take all my birds to shower with me. Well, I don't shower them, but just put them on a big window we have in shower and spray (or if they want they just jump on me (ouch, that hurts!) and have a real shower). Maybe it would help if you use take him in the shower room with you and demonstrate how you much enjoy it (without making him wet). He should gradually get used to running water and no harm coming from it. And if he sees you enjoying it he might wanna try it out too. I'm just guessing..

Since the spray bottle was used as punishment definately DO NOT use it as it will be counter productive. Try the pie pan idea first then if that doesn't work try taking him in the shower with you. The reason I say this is because he might not enjoy the shower as water is being put on him much the same way was the spray bottle only maybe a little harder. Where as with the pie pan he has compleate control over his bathing experience and it's not being forced on him.

My bird has loved baths since the day we got him, but there were MANY other things he was fearful of or didn't want to do. Personally, I like the "lead by example" approach In the case of bathing, you could stand in front of the cage, spray your hand or arm while making a BIG deal about how fun it is and then reward yourself with a treat. See if you can catch his interest of whats going on thats so fund and exciting and is getting you a treat Then gently point the sprayer at him and see if he wants to try. I would be almost positive the first few times he's barely going to take notice and whatever his normal response to the sprayer is going to happen. It does take patience, repetition, and you'll probably want a towel to keep the water off the floor but by demonstrating for him that a bath is fun and exciting and you get a treat at the end may make him more willing to try.

And thank you for taking on responsibility for poor Harley. He sounds like he is in MUCH better hands with you and will probably start thriving