My new Lovebird

Hello! My name is Kimberly, and I am new to the forum. A friend from a horse forum we are members of, suggested I come over here to get some help, advice with my new Lovebird.

I owned a Lovebird many years ago, a male named Trillo. He bonded with me quite quickly and was my little buddy for many years until he passed away. For many years, I spoke about wanting to get another Lovie, and this xmas, my Husband got me one for a gift.

He drove me out to a lady who breeds them, and I got to pick which one I wanted. I chose a little female, and we brought her home. Named her Khaleesi.

Have been having lots of issues - to be honest, I do not remember it taking this long, nor being this difficult with Trillo....this little Hen, is quite a challenge.

She is a pain in the patookie! ARGH! But I adore her. She is too cute, to look at........

It has been 2 weeks now since we brought Khaleesi home. She is a little chick, I believe to be 4 - 6 months old (no older than 6 months). She has been a lot of work. Trying to get her to bond with me, and trying to get her to even understand that she can trust me....which is quite the process. Or.....maybe she knows, because she is a very smart girl, that I wont hurt her, but she can do what she wants, and therefore doesn't have to be with me...

She has an absolute favorite spot to be. In the Dining Room, ontop of her favorite lamp, looking out the very large windows we have. She does her best to get to that spot. Or any spot.....where I am not . I can have her step up on my finger, if she chooses to....or we play "chase me around the house". She is very smart, because she knows that if she gets herself into the dining room, underneath the dining room table, I have a difficult time getting to her.

I'll go to the side she is on, underneath a chair, and when I get to that spot, she'll waddle to the other side, underneath a chair...and we'll repeat the process until I figure out that I need to become smarter than the dining room furniture. Yet, she still wont let get my finger to her, she'll flutter or waddle into the front room.

If I leave her alone, she'll figure out her own way to get on the perch she wants to be, or she'll waddle around the floor calling, chirping and climbing up onto furniture she wants to be on, until she gets to her desired destination I have allowed her to sit on that lamp, in her room, for hours. Just chilling and being herself - I thought, by leaving her alone, she would get to know her environment and know that we aren't going to hurt her.

A friend told me, that she took her little Lovebird Hen, into the bathroom and sat in the bathtub with her. Whenever she tried to flutter away,she couldn't get any good solid footing, and discovered that her Human was the best place to be on.......which then started the bonding process...tried that. Yes, Khaleesi figured out very quickly that I was the best footing and solidity for her little feet. I got her to the point where she sat quietly on me - yet, when we left the bathroom...she fluttered off.

In the bathroom, I can handle her from hand to hand. I can pet her, I can stroke her. I can hold her in my hand, have her perch on my finger, sit on my shoulder. But the moment we leave that small confined space......games a foot. She knows that I cannot do all those things, in a much bigger space, because she can get away from me quite quickly and with ease

She also told me that she had her little Lovie sit on her knees while she played video games. For hours they would do this. Tried it......the moment she decided she didn't want to be with me, but where she wanted to be, she would flutter off. I would have to put my controller down and chase her around the house again, until I got her convinced to get up on my finger, and I would repeat the process - put her on my knees or my shoulders, and within minutes, once I got my controller back and comfortable and settled into my game...she would flutter off.....

Last night, I thought a breakthrough had occurred. I had her in the bedroom with me last night while I read. While she was on her lamp, she decided to get to her cage and she was chirping and calling out. She got onto the bed where I was, thinking that she was wanting to visit with me. This made me excited! No...turned out, she realized we have a ceiling fan, which is the HIGHEST point in the room. She was looking up at it while waddling from one side of the bed to the other, chirping and calling. She figured out how to get from the bed, onto the top of my large antique mirror (covered with a towel), onto the TV, and attempted, quite a few times, to get onto that ceiling fan, unsuccessfully at all attempts. She failed the first time, ending up back on the bed...she repeated the process. Back onto the mirror, the tv..and attempted again....failure.

I was very disappointed to discover she wanted nothing to do with me at all........lol, it was about getting as high up as she could.

She has now gotten to the point, that if she is left in her cage for any amount of time, she will have temper tantrums. She does this odd head swing thing and head bang thing while screeching and calling. Today, Hubby and I were gone for most of the day. We were at the car dealer getting new breaks put on, for quite a few hours, then I had to work and Hubby was out with his Friend. Hubby got home just a short time before me, and Khaleesi was having a fit in her cage when he got home, saying "let me out" - so he put his hand in her cage to see if she would step up on him, and instead she bit him very hard, drawing blood.

I think I have created a monster.

Here are some videos that I have taken of myself working with Khaleesi...

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=hA3JarGqI7U]Working with Khaleesi, my 4 month old Lovebird - day 1 - YouTube[/ame]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Cn7l1MYsXkY]Working with Khaleesi, day 2 - YouTube[/ame]

Am I on the right track? Am I doing things right? What should I be doing? Not be doing? Any advice will be appreciated. Thank you

I have two lovebirds, a hen that's 10 and a male that's two. They are both VERY tame, will go to ANYONE. However, I wouldn't in a million years think of sticking my hand in the female's cage, not ever. Hens are notoriously territorial, and mine is no exception. She bites like a sewing machine inside her cage. To avoid that, I open her cage, allow her to come out and fly to me when she's ready. If I absolutely HAVE to get her out immediately, I have her step onto a hand-held perch. Five feet from her cage, she's a totally different animal and never, ever bites. It's like the hormonal urge to defend her castle vanishes within say 2' of the cage. I would imagine that your bird is just being a totally normal hen. In fact, I wouldn't even try to train that out of her. My male on the other hand is completely comfortable with hands in his cage. I love both of my lovebirds on their own merits, but I really think the males are easier.

I love the name you picked for her. Very fitting for a female lovebird.

Thanks for the help, I didn't know that! No one ever told either of us (Husband and I) to not put our hands in little Khaleesi's cage. Funny though, she doesn't bite me, she bites my Husband. Now that I know that. So what should I be doing with her, to have her bond with me? If not teaching her to go on my hand in her cage....

So what about the interaction we have with her outside of her cage? Am I doing right? Should I let her go where she pleases? Or am I doing the right thing by putting her where I want her to be (shoulder, etc, etc)?

Will she be my little shadow eventually, like Trillo was? Trillo would go out of his way, to be with me. No matter where I was in the house, he found me. When he was with me, he was always on me - in my clothes, on my shoulder, in my hair - just being with me. Will Khaleesi be like that?

Thanks about her name My Husband and I are "Game Of Thrones" fans, and we thought that name was great - so that's what she got Khaleesi. Queen.

Glad you found the place

I'm sorry to say, but you need to stop what you are doing.

Khaleesi does not see it as a game when you chase her around the cage. In fact, it's very much like a predator chasing down it's prey. You have further instilled this "feeling" by taking her into a small, enclosed area and forcing her to be with you.

This very kind of training is known as flooding and may lead to learned helplessness. That is, no matter what a bird does, it has to obey you, and sooner or later, give up. This could lead to a very boring bird that doesn't know how to do anything because you've taught the bird to do nothing. If the bird doesn't become helpless, then the opposite may happen, and you might end up with a bird who bites every single time you offer your hand. That is, the bird becomes even more difficult to handle and bites more frequently. The bird is telling you "no" and "leave me alone" or "I don't feel comfortable with this" and you keep forcing yourself upon your bird.





I'm sorry if this may sound harsh, I don't mean it to, but I would like to help you to be able to form the best bond with your lovebird as can be had, and chasing the bird around and forcing the bird to be with you is not the way to go about it.



A great bond can start from *POSITIVE* interactions with our birds. That is, a situation where-in it is enjoyed by both human and bird. The more positive experiences your bird has with you, the more the bird will want to be with you.

If Khaleesi loves millet, then start by offering her millet inside the cage. Don't chase her around the cage with it, simply put your hand at the door of the cage and allow her to come to you to enjoy the millet.

Once she is comfortable coming to you for treats, you can then work on teaching step up. The below blog has a video on getting a budgie to step up for millet.

Living With Parrots Cage Free: Bucky and Strider - Millet Eating Fiends!

What I'm trying to say is, don't force the interaction. Give your bird the chance to decide to come to you in a manner she would enjoy. Although you don't have an aggressive lovebird, the following page may also be of interest to you, and the video shows how to reward behavior.

Taming an Aggressive Lovebird | The Adventures of Kacy The Conure Parrot – Bryan's Angels


If you watch that video, you can see how the aggressive lovebird, Teri is not being forced or coerced into doing a behavior he doesn't want to do. In fact, he's doing a behavior that he's learned how to do because he's realized that great things can come of it!

Monica is right...about everything. Be patient and she will learn to come to you because you are the source of all treats. Basil was one and not tame (and afraid of hands) when we got him. He gradually learned to take millet from me through the cage and eventually learned to step up. Now I need the millet to lure him off my shoulder because that is where he wants to be. All the time. We've had him for 7 months. Your birdie is really cute by the way.

Barbara Heidenreich has some great bird training videos. She is kind and gentle and trains birdies with positive reinforcement. Here is her site:

Training Parrots | Parrot Training DVDS & Books